by Finch, Carol
But she could no longer deny her need to have Chance in her life. She couldn’t completely sacrifice her love for Chance. She cared too much, and she would insist that Howard compromise. If he was going to get upset about it, this was the place to do it, she reminded herself.
Alexa instinctively reached for Chance’s hand as they approached the door. Odd, wasn’t it? She had relied on herself for years, and suddenly she was reaching out to Chance for moral support. He hadn’t failed her yet, and she had come to understand that he never would.
This wasn’t the one-way street she’d been traveling during her marriage to Dan. Chance Butler had successfully launched into orbit her cynical theories on men.
Pausing to inhale a fortifying breath, Alexa stepped into the room. Her gaze landed on the touching scene before her. Zack was propped against his grandfather. The boy’s ruffled head was tucked under Howard’s right arm. Candy and potato chip wrappers lay on Howard’s lap. The old man cocked a graying brow when Alexa and Chance approached his bed.
“Tried to spare me from worry, did you?” Howard asked quietly.
Alexa nodded. “I’ve distressed you enough, Howard. I didn’t want you to be upset until I knew if there was something to be upset about.”
Howard stared at Alexa, then at Chance. His gaze swung to the boy nestled at his side. “I don’t think Zack will need an in-depth lecture about leaving school without consulting you first. I think he gave himself a pretty good scare and a dousing of wet logic tonight.”
“Howard, maybe this isn’t the time, but—” Alexa compressed her lips when Howard held up a hand to forestall her.
“Howard, there is something—” Chance’s attempt to take up where Alexa left off was met with a loud sh-sh-sh!
“I’m going to do the talking here and you’re going to do the listening,” Howard insisted. “Zack told me where he was headed after school. He also told me the purpose of the visit he tried to make to Chance.”
Alexa tensed, then shot Chance a discreet glance. Together, they waited for Howard to continue.
“Tonight I was granted insight through the eyes of an eight-year-old child. It turned out to be quite a revelation,” Howard murmured as he curled his arm around his sleeping grandson. “Zack had thought the matter through. As he saw it, Alexa wasn’t happy after Chance left. Neither was Zack. He was on a mission to see if Chance would like to marry Alexa, so we could be a family.”
Alexa’s heart fluttered like a caged sparrow. She could just imagine the shock Howard suffered when Zack explained his crusade to his grandfather.
Although the old man’s narrowed gaze was boring into Chance, he broke into a grin—he couldn’t help it. That eight-year-old matchmaker had tried to simplify a situation far too complex for him to understand. The kid, like his mother, had the kind of determination that wouldn’t quit.
“Once Zack got the okay from Chance, the boy planned to hightail it home to square things with his mom,” Howard went on. “According to Zack, that’s how this sort of thing is done in the third grade. That’s how Chelsea McClain came to be Zack’s girlfriend. A mutual acquaintance worked out the details for them.”
Chance’s grin broadened. “I like the kid’s style. It’s simple, straightforward and to the point.”
“Figured you would,” Howard said, and smirked.
“While we are on the subject—” Alexa tried to put in.
Again, Howard cut her off with a dismissive flick of his wrist. “I’m not finished, Alexa. I have something to say. After I say it, you can take Zack home and put him to bed where he belongs. I—”
Howard’s voice dried up and he squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, as if battling for control. Alexa went to his side immediately.
“Howard, it’s okay,” she reassured him.
“No, it’s not okay,” he wheezed. “I was...a-frai-d.” The words came out in broken syllables, as if bubbling up from a deep well. He focused his misty gaze on Alexa as he reached for her hand. “I was... afraid... of losing the only family I have.” The words came more quickly now, flowing from the hidden depths. “I was afraid I’d lose my place in this family if a man came along to turn your head. You wouldn’t need me anymore. You’d leave me and take Zack with you. The boy is all I have left of my wife and my son, and you, Alexa. I thought if we stayed together, kept outsiders at a distance, that we could live out our lives and that would be enough for you. I kept my son’s memory alive so Zack wouldn’t forget, so you wouldn’t forget.”
He paused for breath. Tears clouded his eyes and slipped down his wrinkled cheeks. “I didn’t want to face the truth about my son and his lack of responsibility to his family. But I know he was never fair to you, Alexa. I ended up being just as unfair by being so possessive and demanding of you. I tried to keep you from seeking your own happiness. The torment of knowing what I was doing to you, knowing I was selfishly keeping you from Chance, brought on my heart attack. But it was easier to blame you and Chance than myself.”
His gaze locked with Chance’s. Howard was silent for a long moment while he struggled for composure. “It’s not easy for a hidebound old fool like me to admit he’s scared, to admit he’s getting old and can’t handle the duties that Rocking T demands. It’s even more difficult to admit my son’s failings. Since you came here, you accepted every responsibility I thrust at you and spent your spare time helping Alexa with her project. You treated her with consideration and respect and you gave Zack the kind of attention I can’t provide.”
“I love that little squirt,” Chance said softly, sincerely.
“I realize that,” Howard murmured. “But fear and envy make a man say and do unforgivable things.”
“I tried to give Zack all the time and attention I never received from my own father,” Chance confided, then paused for breath before plunging ahead. “I love Alexa, Howard. I’m asking for the privilege of visiting Rocking T every chance I get. I don’t expect your blessing, but I would like your permission.”
“You think you can waltz in here between rodeos and shack up with my daughter-in-law?” Howard snorted disdainfully. “No way, Butler. I won’t allow that.”
Howard gently nudged Zack awake. The boy stirred sluggishly, then squinted in the light. “Mom! Chance!” He bolted straight up, then slumped against his grandpa. “Uh-oh, I’m in big trouble.”
“It’s all right, boy,” Howard consoled Zack. “I already told them that you had learned your lesson about striking out on your own. You promise never to do that again, don’t you?”
Still huddled against his grandfather—just in case the fur flew—Zack nodded his head vigorously.
“Now then, Zack, since you went to a lot of trouble to locate Chance so you could ask him a question, you might as well ask him,” Howard insisted.
“With Mom here?” Zack peered at his grandfather. “That’s not how it’s done.”
Howard grinned affectionately. “Since we aren’t dealing with third-graders we can bend the rules a bit.” He elbowed the kid. “Get to it, boy. It’s late and we all need our beauty sleep.”
Zack propped himself up to stare directly at Chance, pretending his mother wasn’t in the room. “I was trying to find you so I could ask you one more time if you might be interested in marrying my mom, so you could be my dad.”
Chance smiled in amusement as he watched embarrassment flood Alexa’s cheeks. “I can’t think of anything I’d like better, rookie. Do you think you could convince your mom that it would be a good idea?” He glanced at Howard, then shifted his attention back to Zack. “And maybe you could square it with your grandpa so he could be the dad I never really had. Since you’re in the matchmaking business, maybe you could work it out so all four of us could be a family.”
Zack nodded his tousled head. “Sure, but you have to wait until I ask Mom. You can’t get too many things going at once. My teacher at school says it’s best to complete one assignment before starting the next one. That way you don’t get mixed up.”
<
br /> “Wise teacher,” Chance agreed. “We wouldn’t want to break any more third-grade rules than we have to.”
Zack turned his attention to Alexa. “Mom, Chance would like to marry you. Is that okay with you?”
Suddenly, the room shrank to the watery image of Chance standing at the foot of Howard’s bed. Love, respect and hope glistened in Chance’s eyes as he met Alexa’s gaze. More than anything Alexa wished she could give Chance what he never had—a place he could truly call home, a family whose thoughts and affection accompanied him wherever he went.
Secretly, she wanted to ask Chance to remain at Rocking T, even if Howard squirmed a bit at having him there permanently. But Alexa couldn’t ask Chance to walk away from the success of the life he’d led. He was a three-time world champion, a contender for another title. She refused to be that selfish. She would force herself to take what she could get and live every moment with Chance to its fullest.
“Yes, I’d like to marry Chance,” she murmured, her heart in her eyes.
“All right!” Zack cheered. He raised his hand to give Howard the high five. “It’s all set, Grandpa. We’ll get them married tomorrow. Now then, Chance wants you to be his dad, if it’s okay with you.”
Chance held his breath. He knew he was asking a great deal of Howard. The old man had immortalized his son for more than a year. All Chance wanted was the opportunity to earn Howard’s respect, to repay him for a privilege that meant the world to Chance.
“I’d be honored to adopt Chance as my son,” Howard whispered.
“Oh, Howard!” Alexa eased down on the bed to hug him close. “We’ll make this work, I promise.”
“Damn right we’ll make it work,” Howard declared. He clung to Alexa, but his gaze was fixed on Chance. “I’ve decided to deed my half of Rocking T to Zack, and I’m going to sit back and take it easy, enjoy my retirement. When you decide to give up the circuit, we’ll be waiting for you to take over the management of the ranch. I expect you’ll handle it as well as you have while I’ve been cooped up in the hospital.”
Chance stood there, his mouth hanging open. “You want me here?” he croaked like a waterlogged bullfrog.
Howard nodded. “Seems we all do, son.”
Chance was astounded, overwhelmed. His legs wobbled, his heart pounded. Tears misted his eyes as emotion roiled inside him. After all these years, after all the trials and torments of his youth, he finally had a place to call home, someplace where he was wanted, needed, accepted. A place where he belonged.
Zack bounded off the bed and charged toward Chance, who swung him up and settled him on one hip. Chance nuzzled his forehead against Zack’s, then ruffled the kid’s hair. “Thanks, rookie. You did good, really good.”
Zack hooked his arms around Chance’s neck and beamed at his mother and grandfather. “Can I go home now? I need to get things ready for the wedding tomorrow.”
“Whoa, pardner,” Chance drawled. “It’s not easy to make those kinds of arrangements in a day.”
“No?” Zack asked.
“No,” Chance confirmed.
“That’s what you said the first time I asked if you wanted to marry my mom. Didn’t seem so hard to me.”
Chance peered into the kid’s face—one that radiated innocence and happiness. “Okay, rookie, do your thing. Official or unofficial, we’ll have a wedding tomorrow. Then we’ll make sure all those complicated legal matters that grown-ups insist upon are taken care of later.”
“I’ll officiate,” Howard volunteered. “Be here tomorrow after school.”
“What does officiate mean?” Zack wanted to know.
“That means someone is in charge of making sure the bride and groom say the I-dos,” Alexa explained. “We also have to have a marriage license. No one gets married without a license.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Zack insisted. “Do you want it written in cursive or printed? I can do both. I got an A in penmanship.”
“Then you’re hired, rookie,” Chance confirmed, grinning broadly.
“Chance and I will make cookies for refreshments. We’ve had practice,” Zack spoke up.
“Come on, squirt. Considering the busy day you’ve planned, we better get you to bed.”
When Chance carried Zack from the room—with the boy clinging to him like Spanish moss—Alexa turned her teary smile on Howard. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered.
“Know what, hon, I feel better since I got that load off my chest. Being unfair to you and battling my private fears was a heavy burden to bear. Like you said, Chance Butler is a good and decent man. And a damn fine rodeo cowboy. One of the best I’ve ever seen.”
Too choked up to speak, Alexa nodded in agreement.
“Go home,” Howard ordered. “I need to rest up for tomorrow. If I would’ve listened to Zack a long time ago I could’ve made things simple for all of us. That boy has the right idea. Grown-ups make things too complicated.”
“Mmm...” was all Alexa could add to the conversation.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Howard gave Alexa a nudge toward the door. “Invite that sister of yours to the ceremony. That girl turned out all right, thanks to you.”
Alexa made it to the door before she felt the need to glance back at Howard. “I love you. Never doubt that.”
Howard smiled. “I know, honey. You proved it when you were willing to give up your own happiness to assure me that I was wanted and needed. This is my way of assuring you how much you and Zack mean to me. And that cowboy, too,” he added. “This may be an unusual kind of family, but then, I’ve come to realize that families are folks who support each other, help each other, care about each other. That’s what it’s all about.”
Alexa walked away—floated on air was nearer the mark. The best she’d hoped for was a workable compromise with Howard. Instead, he had set aside his private fears and opened his heart to those nearest and dearest to him. Alexa vowed that not one member of this family would be slighted. She had enough love and happiness in her heart to spread around for at least two lifetimes!
Chance stood at Zack’s bedroom door, watching the boy sleep. He had cut short their evening ritual of reading from sports magazines, because the rookie had endured a harrowing evening and had a school bus to catch early in the morning. Furthermore, Zack had a wedding to organize. Zack planned to make out the invitations during the school bus ride, then he intended to print the marriage license during recess.
“Is he asleep?” Alexa whispered as she walked up to put her arms around Chance.
“Finally. The kid’s brain has been buzzing like a bumblebee stuck in a bucket of tar. He’s taking care of all the wedding details, but he’s decided to wait until after the ceremony to bake cookies. Couldn’t fit in enough time before the nuptials, and he doesn’t want me to have to bake without him. Says we’re a culinary duo.
“I informed him that honeymoons, not baking cookies, usually follow weddings.” Chance grinned rakishly. “He wanted to know what a honeymoon was.”
“And what did you tell him?” Alexa asked warily.
“The truth, of course. I don’t lie to kids. I told him honeymoons were that special time when brides and grooms expressed and communicated their love for each other in private, without interruptions. I told him a lot of hugging and kissing went on.”
Chance’s hand folded around Alexa’s as he led her toward the steps. “I didn’t bother to tell him about the fantasy I’ve planned for tonight, though.”
“Another water-world fantasy?” she asked, smiling.
“No, a B-and-B fantasy,” Chance replied as he descended the steps. “I plan to christen the executive suite. I want to be the first to make use of that king-size bed.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “And I don’t plan to be there alone, if you catch the way I’m drifting, darlin’.”
Alexa glided her good arm around his waist. “Sounds intriguing.”
“Glad you plan to join me, because I decided to keep things open and simple a
nd get straight to the heart of this matter.”
“We’re going to let an eight-year-old dictate policy around here?” She laughed as they strolled outside, arm in arm.
“Works for me.” Chance pushed open the barn door and led the way upstairs. He halted at the door, then turned to stare intently at Alexa. “One thing you should know. I don’t want to come and go from Rocking T. I’ve spent twelve years on the circuit, living out of a duffel bag. I want to be here with you and Zack and Howard on a permanent basis.”
Alexa gaped at him in stunned belief. “You want to give up your chance to win another world title?”
“Been there, done that, darlin’,” Chance said as he led her toward the roomy bed. “What I haven’t done is made a commitment to a woman and child whom I love dearly. I haven’t had a home where I’ve felt as if I belong. I want to invest my savings in the B-and-B and help you make the business boom while we follow Zack’s upcoming sports career.”
Alexa stared at him in amazement. No one had ever made her top priority before. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes,” Chance whispered and he framed her face in his hands. “Say you’ll let me be the forever kind of man you can always depend on, one who depends equally on you. Say you want Zack to have a brother or sister, and I promise that Zack will never feel neglected or left out the way I did. I won’t let that happen, because I know how it hurts. Say you love me as deeply as I love you...always.”
“I love you like crazy,” she whispered as she looped her arms around his neck. “And you’ve got yourself a deal, cowboy....”
When Chance tumbled with her onto the king-size bed in the executive suite, Alexa gave herself up completely, wholeheartedly. She matched Chance caress for gentle caress, kiss for breathtaking kiss. The world spun out of control as love burned its brand on two hearts and souls that blended as one.