Still, he found himself pausing outside of a candy shop window. A machine pulled and stretched white taffy this way and that on the other side of the glass. Candy canes in every color hung from a display tree, boxes beneath it open to reveal perfectly round chocolates. His stomach grumbled, but Nolan found himself thinking of someone other than himself.
The bell on the door dinged over his head and Nolan felt out of sorts for a moment. What was he doing here? Was he really shopping for someone else? He was, he thought as warmth spilled through his chest. His feet brought him to a rack of individual candy canes, tiny tags displaying the myriad flavors available. Plucking several from the shelf while he thought of his son, he found himself moving toward a wide display case of chocolate.
“Apologizing to the wife?” a man behind the counter asked as he leaned on the back of the display case. There was a sympathetic look in the man’s eyes.
“What? No. I’m not married.” Nolan took half a step back. What was his goal here?
The man’s face morphed into a look of understanding. “So, you’re trying to charm her? I think I can help you with that. How much do you like this lady?”
Before Nolan could argue, the man ducked and disappeared. Nolan cocked a brow in confusion until the man resurfaced, boxes in hand.
He held up a small box. “First date? Says you’re a nice guy but not a creep.” The man held up a second box, twice the size of the first. “This is the most popular I’m sorry I’m an idiot box. There’s always option three which is the size of a small dog and about the same weight.”
Nolan felt his stomach churn. Ellie hated him and, now that he’d spent the night alone, he could kind of understand. Nolan had done nothing to hurt her on purpose, but his actions had irrevocably affected the woman’s life with a happy surprise that she was left to raise on her own. Casper was his son, but Ellie was the one dealing with a leopard cub.
“Do you have a box that says I’m sorry I didn’t realize we had a kid together and I wouldn’t have left if I’d known?”
The man’s brows shot towards the ceiling, his mouth stuck in the shape of a small O. After a moment he nodded. “I think you might need the small dog sized box. And something for the kid.”
Nolan held up his small bouquet of candy canes. Casper would be wild on the sugar, but Nolan could handle it while Ellie had a break. He could do that for her. It was good that he’d taken on a few small jobs before he let gravity pull him back here. He had a bundle of cash in his pocket that would come in handy.
“Do you know of any places available to rent? Doesn’t have to be too large. I’m just one person.”
The man behind the counter shrugged. “The place above the laundromat is always open now that Ellie bought her own place.”
Nolan grew stiff, sucking in a sharp breath. Any place but that, his soul begged. He didn’t want to relive that night over and over again. It would only serve as pins through his already hole riddled heart.
“Any other place in town? I don’t plan on staying in it long.”
The man pointed Nolan in the direction of a shady motel a few blocks away before holding up a giant box. “What kind of truffles would the lady in your life like?”
Nolan’s stomach dropped through the floor. He had no idea what flavors Ellie liked the best. All he really knew of her was that she liked sugar. It was her job, after all. The smells of baked goods lingered on everything in the house, right down to the waves of her hair and her lips.
In the end, Nolan couldn’t do more that shrug. He hated how much the world drew him toward this town, how much his mind had been filled with this woman he barely knew. Nolan kept telling himself it was because his son needed him, the animal instincts in him kicking in, but, in truth, he knew so little of what was going on. Nolan was only following his feet.
The man seemed to pause and consider his case, all the while, sneaking glances at Nolan. Nolan, mercifully, kept his mouth shut. He knew if he dropped Ellie’s name with someone who knew her, he would lose the woman’s favor. Yet, it was almost as if the man behind the counter could see the resemblance between Nolan and Casper because he made an epiphany gesture and started to load the box full of tiny, chocolate balls.
The thing weighed more than Nolan expected, but as he made his way toward the register, Nolan considered it a good investment. Chocolate was the way to a woman’s heart. At least, he hoped it would be in this case if only for her to let him linger in his child’s life. He didn’t need her love. Nolan told himself that over and over like a man trying to convince himself.
Ellie was a strong woman, but Nolan didn’t need a lover. He knew firsthand how horribly that could go for his child and he wouldn’t allow it. Nolan was all right with only being Casper’s father. He didn’t need to be Ellie’s husband as well.
After Nolan shelled out the cash for the candy, he ventured out in search of the shady motel the man had mentioned. It was easy to find, sitting across the street from the bar where he’d met Ellie. His feet paused, leaving Nolan caught in a memory as he stared blankly at the bar.
When he’d first met her, Ellie had been younger, thinner. She’s been celebrating her graduation from someplace and lost count of her drinks. His friend pointed out the woman dancing near the broken jukebox as if it were playing her favorite song. In retrospect, both of them had been too drunk to realize just how stupid they both were. But, Nolan couldn’t help the way she drew him in.
He danced with her beside that broken jukebox, their hands unable to stay still. They roved over one another, his fingers threading through her wild hair and her hands dipping lower than a woman’s should. He hadn’t cared. He loved the way she had gripped his ass that night.
“You alright, buddy?”
Nolan jerked back to the present, a thin woman with faded hair stared warily at him with a cigarette hanging from between her fingertips. There were bells hanging from each ear, topped with tiny, Christmas ribbons.
Nolan nodded, trying to school his face and shove aside the dreamy look he’d just worn. What was wrong with him? His only thought while here should be of his child. The woman didn’t matter. Yet, at every turn she snuck in and turned his world upside down.
Turning away, Nolan rented himself a room and pocketed the key, not even bothering to check the condition of the room. At the desk, he asked the woman if there were any odd jobs around town that would pay a man quickly. She jerked her thumb across the street and said the bar was always looking for bouncers. It wasn’t a secure job, by any means, but it would help him pay for the room until he found a better job.
Everything squared away, Nolan turned back toward Ellie’s house on the other end of town. He had a heavy box of chocolates in one hand and a pocketful of candy canes.
***
Ellie woke to Casper jumping on the end of her bed. It was so familiar of an occurrence that it nearly didn’t wake her. When Casper dumped a small amount of water on her face was when she jerked upright.
“You’re a tiny tyrant,” she grumbled at her child.
He only giggled and threw himself down on the bed to cuddle beside her. When he looked up at her with big, green eyes, she knew an uncomfortable conversation was coming.
“Mommy, who was the man?”
Her heart clenched. She knew exactly who Casper was referring to. How did she explain it to him in a way that didn’t reveal Nolan’s true identity? If she told Casper who Nolan was and Nolan betrayed her, her son would be distraught when she forced Nolan to leave. She couldn’t do that to her two-unit family. She also didn’t want to lie to her child.
“The man is a person Mommy used to know. We met one night and had a lot of fun before he left.” She chewed her lip, hoping Casper would take her explanation as is and, maybe, get distracted by something else. “Do you want to go make cinnamon bun pancakes?”
“But…” Casper’s face scrunched up as he tried to string his words together. “The man smells.”
“What do you mean?”
Ellie realized, not for the first time, that her son would be… like Nolan. She remembered the leopard in her room, smaller than a fearsome tiger, but no less of a predator, that’d looked up at her with Nolan’s knowing gaze. Casper, too, would be like his father. There was an animal inside the wild child waiting to be let out.
That was why she needed Nolan. She didn’t need the man in her life because of the way he kissed her or because of the way he made her stomach flutter with butterflies. She needed Nolan solely for the purpose of helping her son. That was it.
A knock on the front door had Ellie groaning and trying to roll out of bed. Casper’s head perked up, his eyes narrowing on the doorway. It seemed Nolan was up bright and early. Her head fell to the side and Ellie realized it wasn’t so early. Swearing, she shoved aside the blankets, growling in frustration when they caught around her legs. It was nearing eleven in the morning, several hours past Ellie’s normal alarm.
Hurriedly, she threw on a somewhat clean t-shirt over her camisole and shimmied her way into a pair of buttery, black leggings. Leggings had become her best friend shortly after Casper’s birth, her original shape never returning to her, no matter what she did. Ellie could blame Casper, but she knew her career was a large factor in her weight gain. It made her thighs wide and jiggly, just like her stomach.
Her breath caught when she remembered the kiss she and Nolan shared in the living room. The Ellie he must have remembered looked nothing like the woman she was now. It made her pause. He’d still kissed her, even though she was a ballooned version of that woman. The thought made her cheeks warm uncomfortably.
No, she told herself. She wouldn’t let this man back in her life, not when he could leave just as readily as he once did, not when he could still prove to be addled in the mind. While Ellie feared both, she had the feeling neither would happen. Nolan was doggedly persistent now that he knew about Casper.
Was there a similar idiom for cats? No, curiosity killed the cat didn’t really apply in this situation. Ellie shook her head. She was losing her mind.
Another, penetrant knock sounded at the door and she yelled for him to hold on, rubbing sleep from her eyes on the way to open it. Before she could get there, her mother beat her to it and graciously swung it open. The look on her mother’s face when she saw Nolan waiting on the other side was downright traitorous.
Look at this man! She seemed to say. Look at how reliable and devoted he is!
Ellie rolled her eyes and retreated into the kitchen for the first cup of coffee of the day. The smell already permeated the air, telling her that her parents had been up for a while. She was a little disappointed when she found the coffee pot cold. Microwaved coffee was for the weak, but she popped a mug into the microwave anyway.
“Is it too early?” Nolan asked warily, much more cautious of boundaries today than he’d been the day before.
It made her sneak a look at him while she waited for the microwave. The evidence of his restraint was written across his face, the tightness of his jaw and the way his eyes wavered, as he looked at her evident. Eventually, her shoulders sagged and she shook her head.
“If you two have been awake this whole time,” Ellie shouted from the kitchen to the living room to reach her parents’ ear. “Then why did you let Casper into my bedroom?”
No response met her ears and all she could do was yank her coffee from the microwave and douse it with peppermint bark creamer. The minty smell tickled her nose and helped revive her from the night’s deep sleep. What made her sleep so late, she wondered?
Eventually, she looked back at Nolan. He stood, awkwardly near the island counter with a box in his hands. She recognized the label. Reggie had been pestering her to work for him for ages, but she’d never been able to get a reliable sitter to take a job outside the house. She couldn’t help but worry Nolan had told the man about the predicament they were in and it made her stomach churn with concern. Ellie didn’t want the town whispering about the man that appeared in her life, how he was the mysterious father of her child. It mattered less that people would be spreading rumors about her. Sooner or later, Casper would figure it out.
“I brought an apology,” Nolan said, raising the box as if to indicate what he was talking about. “I didn’t know what you liked so I let the man behind the counter pick. I hope that’s okay.”
Ellie bit the inside of her cheek. Her stomach grumbled, and while she wouldn’t mind chocolate for breakfast, she knew she should try to eat something a bit healthier. Her waistline would thank her for it later. Even if she suffered now.
Nolan, as if sensing her hesitation, slid the lid off the box and, at random, plucked a truffle from the mass of candies. The heat of his gaze washed over her as he raised the chocolate for her. She was close enough that she could have leaned forward and used her mouth to take it from his fingers. The idea made her face warm again.
“If you’re worried about your figure, I’d like to say you don’t have anything to worry about.”
Her stomach flipped, and her brows rose. As if to prove his point, Nolan’s gaze dipped over her body, following the exaggerated curves motherhood and baking had gifted her. Ellie swallowed hard and shoved down the desire that burned.
Ellie avoided biting the chocolate from his fingers. Instead, she took it with her fingers and popped the tiny ball into her mouth. Casper appeared by Nolan’s side, causing the moment they’d shared to fall apart. Ellie found she could breathe easier when Nolan’s gaze dropped to the child by his legs.
The chocolate in her mouth was velvety and dark, the crunch of cocoa nibs snapping beneath her teeth. She groaned at the surprising texture and glanced back at the box. A thought occurred to her that made her stomach sink and the chocolate hard to swallow. The dark chocolate crunch truffles weren’t Reggie’s biggest seller. If anything, Ellie worried that she was the only one who ever bought them.
Reggie knew who the chocolates were for when he picked out the treats. Her hand tightened on the mug in her grip.
Ellie leaned in to Nolan and hissed, “Why did you tell him this was for me?”
Nolan looked up from Casper, eyes wide. He glanced at the box then back to her. “I didn’t.”
Ellie sucked in a breath to argue, but swallowed it. Casper was nearby. She didn’t want to yell at Nolan in front of him. What if the boy learned who Nolan really was? He might hate her for yelling at him. So many things, situations that might never happen, rolled through her head and made her uncomfortable.
There was too much to worry about when raising a child. She couldn’t help but worry about what kind of person she was raising. She worried about what kind of world Casper would find himself in, when he started school, when he finished school. The introduction of Nolan and his… secret into her life made it all one hundred times harder.
She could barely believe the man before her was a… shifter. It all seemed so impossible, but she’d seen it with her own two eyes. Could the… gene or whatever it was have skipped over Casper? It might have been selfish, but she hoped that it had. She hoped her son was just a normal boy. Was that too much to ask?
“Well, I did come with a treat for you, too,” Nolan said after kneeling before Casper. The man reached into his pocket and came up with a handful of handmade candy canes. Ellie opened her mouth to argue, but Nolan continued. “You can have one a day, but before that they all have to go on the tree. Just… don’t climb the tree. Okay?”
With wide, enamored eyes, Casper took the candy canes and dashed into the living room. She heard the jingle of bells that signified Casper was in the tree, followed by her mother’s warning.
Ellie was impressed by the gesture, but a logical part of her stayed firm. It warned her of what Nolan might be trying to do. “You can’t buy us,” she said, her voice low over her mug.
He stood up,
turning toward her. “Is that what you really think I’m doing?”
She shrugged. Ellie didn’t know Nolan’s intentions yet. Openly, he claimed to want to be a part of his son’s life, but she didn’t know what had pulled him back to her door. She wanted to ask, but thought better of it. If he had any nefarious plans, he wouldn’t straight up tell her.
“This is what I said it was, an apology.”
“Mhm.” she nodded.
“I’ve found a place to stay and even set up a part time job until I can find something more permanent. I want to show you I’m here for the long run. I’m not going anywhere now that I know Casper exists. And, I certainly wouldn’t dream of taking him from you.”
Her heart stopped. “You heard that?”
“Well, of course I did.” He lowered his voice to go on. “Not completely human, remember?”
Yes, she remembered. His actions meant nothing. It could all be a clever ploy to gain her trust, to allow her to let her guard down. Ellie straightened her spine, even if she looked ridiculous, covered in powdered sugar.
If Nolan meant what he said, he would have to live up to his words. Only time would be able to tell if he was truthful. Until then, Ellie would just have to be vigilant. There was no leaving Nolan alone with Casper in the meantime.
Nolan reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bundle of mail, carefully sitting away from the mess she’d already created. “I grabbed your mail for you, as well.”
From the bundle, a silver envelope slipped free. The name on the corner, even the handwriting, was familiar. She couldn’t believe it was already time for Reggie’s annual Christmas party. Her stomach sank, thinking about another year she would have to miss. Every year, Reggie invited her, and every year, she had to decline.
The Snow Leopard's Christmas Surprise Page 5