“You mean like… the constant travelling?” Nick asked with cocked eyebrow.
Jo tried to smile, but it was watered down. “I wouldn’t mind the travel is it wasn’t always by car.”
“And the motels?” he prompted.
“It’d be nice if I could at least stay in something that cleaned its carpets once a year,” Jo admitted.
“What about those incessant phone calls to complain about how terrible you are?” Nick asked?
Jo paused. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, you don’t like them, right?”
“Hell no, I don’t,” Jo replied.
Nick nodded. “So why don’t you just tell him all of this?”
“I have. I’ve tried asking for flights and hotels and a little bit of positive reinforcement,” she moped. “He basically told me to stop complaining or I’d get fired.”
“No, not ask. I know you’ve ‘asked’ for these things. Now you need to demand them!” The glint in his eyes was angry, but it also felt powerful and protective. Jo wasn’t sure what to think of this Nick, the man what was irrationally fearsome in the face of her workplace harassment, but she didn’t want this side of him to go away. It made her feel less alone. “Demand your right to decency as the best damn Liaison they employ. Don’t take no for an answer.”
“And what if no is the only answer they’ll give?” Jo asked.
“Easy. Then you quit,” he answered.
Jo scoffed. “Look, I know it sounds like the easiest thing in the world to just up and quit, but not everyone is like you. Not everyone has their own business and can pick themselves up by their bootstraps to keep moving forward.” Jo sighed. “I was blessed with the talent of being very good at something that there’s not a terribly high demand for. If I quit, or worse, get fired from Liberty Art, I can pretty much kiss my Art Liaison career goodbye. There’s no one else back home or even close by that would consider hiring me.” Those frustrating tears returned as the reality of Jo’s life hit her all at once.
“You could move. Move to a bigger city. You said San Francisco has this big fancy art place that I’m sure would be hard-pressed to have your talents,” Nick offered. “Sure, the move might suck, but… wouldn’t it be worth it to finally be happy again?”
Jo shrugged. “Yes… No… Maybe? What if I do? What if I move, hoping for the best, and fail?”
Nick wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders, and for once Jo wasn’t bombarded with sexual zaps of sensation. “Well, yeah. That’s always a risk, but aren’t all good things worth playing the odds?” he asked, his low voice comforting her in her ear. “As far as I’m concerned, you should always go for what makes you happy, Jo. Take chances, even if they seem a little risky. In my experience, they usually work out.”
One long tear slid down her cheek. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that, Nick,” she whispered. “I’ve always been too scared to quit because I don’t know what I’d do in a life without Liberty Art, so I just put up with Brian. And now…”
“Yeah, I get that.” Nick looked apologetic. “I didn’t mean to make things worse between you and him. If you need me to apologize, I can.”
“No, no, thank you for doing that, honestly,” she insisted, looking up at him. “It’s nice to see what standing-up for myself could possibly look like, if I ever build the courage to try that is. I… I’m glad you did.”
He laughed uneasily. “I’m not sure. It sounded less like standing up for you, and more like me just losing it on your boss, I think.”
Jo smiled, drying her tears. “Well then, thank you for losing it on by boss, Nick.”
His chest rumbled with quiet laughter. “You’re more than welcome.”
They sat in silence for a while, basking in each other’s warmth and enjoying the easier going atmosphere they seemed to have found in the moment. It was quiet and passionless, but computable and content. Not that the fiery passion wasn’t without its merits but, remembering how conflicted Nick looked only a short while ago as he pulled away from her for the second time since they met… Jo could appreciate how what they had now in this moment was so much less complicated. She didn’t ever want to break the illusion.
Snuggling up to him on the couch, she asked softly, “Will you stay with me tonight, Nick?” she allowed a short pause before continuing, “After what happened with the bears, I don’t really want to be alone.”
She felt Nick tense for the slightest of moments before answering. “I guess I could stay,” he mumbled, running his free hand through his hair.
“Nothing has to happen between us if you don’t want it to,” Jo said, sensing his unease. “I won’t try to persuade you like I did earlier. I don’t want you to feel like I have ulterior motives that we don’t agree on.”
They allowed silence to fill the room once more. “It’s just so complicated, Jo.”
Jo nodded, accepting the explanation, even if it didn’t make her happy. She rose up and sat away from him, looking him in the eye. “I understand, but I also want you to know that if you ever want to explain to me why it’s complicated, then I’m here to listen. Even if it’s years down the road and I’m living in some fancy art mansion in San Francisco,” she joked.
Nick opened his mouth to speak when the sound of a car pulling up cut him off. Jo peeked out the empty holes where the peep windows once decorated. “Oh, hey. Tom’s here.”
Nick could smell Tom’s anger through the door. “I’ll get it,” he said, quickly. He slipped past Jo and swung open the battered front door to reveal his very upset younger brother.
“Can I talk to you for a minute,” Tom said by way of greeting.
“Is everything okay?” Jo asked, immediately sensing the tension between them.
Tom gave her a brief smile. “Everything’s fine,” he growled, eyes still on Nick. “I just need to consult my brother on something.”
“I won’t be long,” Nick reassured, closing the door behind him. Nick motioned silently for them to move farther away from the cabin before his brother could explode.
When they’d nearly cleared the tree line, Nick said nonchalantly. “When I said you could tell me ‘I told you so’ later, I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
“Cut the bullshit, Nick,” Tom snapped, spinning on his brother. “You were supposed to be back at the shop ages ago!”
“Ages ago?” Nick parroted. “It’s been an hour, maybe two tops.”
“It’s been nearly four!” Tom retorted.
Four? Already? “Okay, that’s hardly an eternity,” Nick replied, shrugging. “What’s the rush?”
“It’s not just your blatant negligence for the time, Nick,” Tom growled. “It’s why you’re negligent. It’s her.”
Nick automatically bristled. “What about her?” he asked, voice low and filled with warning.
Tom ran a frustrated hand down his face, and Nick could see him working to formulate his argument. Finally he looked at Nick and said. “Are you aware that the Northern wind Pack thinks she might be your mate?”
Flood’s words played in Nick’s mind. “It was mentioned earlier before Dan ambushed me. But I shut the rumor down. They know she’s human. They know that it’s impossible.”
“And how can you be so sure, Nick?” Tom asked. “Lucas gave them permission to kill her. He’s scum, but even he wouldn’t break the law unless he thought he had a good reason. If word got out that an alpha bear’s human mate was killed in a territory war, Lucas is in the clear. You however, you’d be severely judged.”
“She’s not my mate,” Nick declared, and deep down, he felt the admission cut through him. “She can never be my mate.”
Tom stared his brother down, his eyes narrowing slightly, “Is she the one that cleaned up that cut on your back?”
“Yes,” Nick said, spreading his hands. “So what?”
“And she just did that out of the kindness of her heart?” Tom asked, voice heavy with accusation.
“Yes!” Ni
ck exclaimed. “What are you implying?”
“Oh come on Nick, there’s something going on between you two!” Tom shouted, throwing his hands up. “I can tell, that bear I fought could tell, and worst of all, even Lucas can tell!”
“There’s nothing going on, Tom!” Nick denied. “What the hell?”
“Really?” Tom replied, sarcasm dripping. “So, then why, pray tell, can I smell her scent all over you?”
“Just let me deal with this, okay?” Nick spun on his brother, the panic finally building up that he’d kept hidden.
Tom’s jaw dropped in disbelief, then anger slowly filled his eyes as the truth of what Nick said finally sunk in. “What hell are you doing, Nick? You know the law!”
“Of course I know the law!” Nick protested. “I… I’m doing my best to adhere to it.”
“We’ve got to get her out of here, Tom continued, eyes blazing. “Out of the cabin, out of Rawlins. Out of our lives. Right now before she destroys everything we’re fighting for.”
Nick growled, gritting his teeth.
“She can’t even give you cubs, Nick!”
“Maybe I don’t need any!” Nick snapped.
“You’ll tear her apart!” Tom shot back, eye flashing. “What will you do then when your precious human is bleeding out because you lost control? What if you change?” Panic paled his features a bit. “Have you… does she…?”
“No! No, she doesn’t know anything!” Pain radiated from Nick’s wound and down his body as the bear within vied for freedom. “Damn it, Tom! Why can’t you just leave things be?” He took a few deep breaths, working to suppress the beast for a while longer. Glaring daggers at his younger brother, Nick shouldered past and stormed back towards the cabin.
“You’re making a mistake, Nick!” Tom called, angrily. “This isn’t what father would have wanted!” Nick responded by slamming the weak front door entirely too hard behind him.
The beaten wood groaned and splintered one final time before the door finally fell off its hinges.
Chapter Twelve
Nick nearly sprinted to the bathroom, hoping that Jo wouldn’t see the feral state he was in before he got out of view. He locked himself in the bathroom, running the water in an attempt to drown out his bear’s uncontrollable growls and rattles. He had to calm down, or else something really bad was bound to happen.
It was rare that Tom could make Nick this upset, and as much as he wanted to stay angry at his little brother, he knew exactly why he’ been so effective this time.
Tom was absolutely right.
Nick’s spine cracked angrily, and he had to dig his nails into the palms of his hands to keep the bear at bay. It angered him to admit, but everything Tom had said was true. That wasn’t the problem. Nick knew that humans were off limits. They couldn’t mate, they couldn’t comingle, they couldn’t even know about shifters. But the bear didn’t care, and Nick couldn’t help it. It wasn’t something Tom would understand.
After a short tug of war on his sanity, Nick finally fought the bear back down to something controllable, sliding down to the floor with a heavy breath of relief. He knew it wouldn’t last long though. He’d only known Jo for a day, and his attraction to her was only growing. They still had three days. Three days! He wouldn’t be able to keep fighting.
“What am I doing?” he moaned aloud, thumping the floor limply with his fist. He promised her he’d stay here tonight, and she’d even told him nothing had to happen between them tonight. Yeah, right. He’d set himself up for failure before he even began.
With a deep breath, he centered his thoughts. He knew he had to make a decision. Whether he was going to try to make things work with Jo, or he wasn’t. Choosing the first option was dangerous, more dangerous than she could ever know. It would also be filled with lies and deceit, never being able to tell her the true nature of his beast. The bear snarled, but Nick ignored it. It was the price he had to pay.
And then there was walking away—
The bear roared in protest, fighting against Nick’s insides and making him buckle over in agony. “Okay, okay,” he wheezed past the pain. Walking away wasn’t an option. He knew that his own bear would fight tooth and claw to keep her by his side, and if Nick allowed her to walk away, he’d move mountains to bring her home.
With a deep breath, Nick finally spoke the truth. “So she is my mate, huh?” Saying it aloud was terrifying, like it instantly put a target on his back and everyone could see now that he’d accepted it. Human mates weren’t even rare enough to be considered myths. They simply never happened. What if Tom was right? What if he lost control? What if he hurt her—killed her? He remembered the harsh red mark he’d left on her skin only a short while ago. Was it really worth the risk?
“She’s my mate,” he said, voice stronger than he felt. “She’s my mate.” His voice was surer this time. He said it a few more times until it felt natural on his lips.
“Jo barrowman is my mate,” he said, feeling a giddy sort of exhilaration at saying it out loud, “and I will never hurt her.” In that moment, he made his decision. He’d stay the night with her, and he wouldn’t stop whatever happened between them.
He allowed himself a few more moments to compose himself before tentatively leaving the bathroom. The last time she’d likely seen him, he’d been storming upstairs in a rage. He wanted to make sure he didn’t startle her. She was sitting on the sofa, reading a novel from the bookshelf.
She glanced up from the page, and smiled light at him and he descended into the sitting room. “You feel better?” she asked.
“Oh, you saw that, huh?” he asked, clearing his throat in embarrassment. “Uh, yeah. Much better. Tom just really knows how to push my buttons sometimes.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it.” She shrugged. “Only child here.” Shifting in her seat, he saw her eyes pass over his shoulder. “Is the dressing holding up well?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine.” It was painful, of course, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He’d dealt with much worse from Lucas and his crew before.
He flopped down lazily onto the couch next to her, stretching out on the sofa like a lounging cat. “So what are you reading?”
She shrugged again. “Nothing interesting,” Jo replied. He noticed how her eyes traveled up the path of naked skin that bared itself as his shirt rose.
He slid a bit closer to her, feeling more content that he had in a very long time. Accepting her as his mate had answered so many questions he didn’t even know he’d been asking, opened doors he didn’t even know existed, and he felt happy. Giddy, even. It made him want to explore this new path in his life even more. “Can you read to me?”
Jo barked a surprised laugh. “What?” she laughed, her hand brushing his hair away from his forehead. “Are you being serious?”
Nick grinned. “I like the sound of your voice.” Lying down completely, he rested his head on Jo’s lap. His eyes flutters closed and he even felt his bear settle down for the time being.
Jo smiled down at him. “If you really want me to.” Picking up the book, she flipped to the next chapter and started reading.
***
Nick stretched, blinking a few times before he could remember where he was. He had fallen sleep in Jo’s lap to the sound of her voice. She was still here, providing her lap as his pillow. She drifted off still sitting up, her head leaned slightly to the side and her eyes closed. Running a light finger down her cheek and jaw, Nick smiled to himself. She was so beautiful to him. Shifter or not, what he saw in her and what he felt for her transcended that.
With one last yawn, Nick rose from Jo’s lap, careful not to wake her. He walked quietly into the kitchen and put on some coffee, pulling his cell from his pocket.
He tried calling Tom three times before giving up. He figured his brother was just being stubborn and hard headed because of their argument and likely left his phone somewhere out of reach in an attempt to give Nick the cold shoulder. Shrugging, he went back to the coff
ee maker, his ears picking up light rustling sounds coming from the sitting room.
“Did the smell wake you?” he called.
Jo walked leisurely into the kitchen, still rubbing her sleepy eyes. “Probably. I do really like coffee,” she said with a smile.
He grinned, pulling her into a light embrace, running a hand through her hair to straighten out the kinks. “Perfect,” he murmured, and Jo blushed. “Can I get you a cup?”
“Please,” she answered, sitting down at the dining table. “Did we sleep for a long time?”
“Long enough.” He grinned, handing her a mug. “It’ll be time to eat soon.”
“Anything good to eat around here?” she asked, taking her first sip.
He chuckled, sitting at the table beside her and lifting her legs to rest on his lap. “Small town, remember? There’s not much more than the Chinese place we ate from last night. I suppose I could always try to cook.”
“You cook?” Jo asked, a shocked look peeking over her steaming mug.
Nick winced. “I… try.” If he was being honest, he’d prefer a nice, blue steak, or a fresh kill out in the forest, but he imagined that neither would be very appetizing to Jo.
“Chinese it is, then,” she replied, hiding her smile. “I’ll just order something different this time. Keep things interesting.” She paused, looking up at him. “What about Tom?”
“What about him,” Nick asked, taking a long swig of his coffee.
“Should we order something for him?” she asked, her gaze averting slightly. “I don’t want him to feel left out.”
“You’re too kind, thinking of him,” Nick replied, his voice noncommittal. “But he’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”
Jo squared her shoulders. “I’ll get something for him anyway. If he doesn’t want it, you can eat it tomorrow while you work. We can run by the shop to drop it off on our way back, can’t we?
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