His smile wilted around the edges of his mouth as he finally looked back at her. “It’s funny to remember now, but back then it really sucked. The pain was excruciating, for weeks long. The Northern Wind was all I knew, and this new pack that was once my enemy likely hated my guts too much to ever see me as anything more than a monster. I struggled with loyalties and doing the right thing, and even now some days I don’t feel like I’m completely free of Lucas’s shadow. But I’m working on it. And it seems to be working out for me.”
There were several parallels to be drawn between how they both had ended up in this pack. They both escaped the toxic loyalties they’d once clung to and found safety in this new pack’s kind practices. She felt all the closer to him for it.
“Thank you for telling me,” she finally said.
“It’s an easy story to tell when I’m alone with you,” he replied, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “I feel like I could tell you just about anything, and it’ll be okay.”
Lucy squeezed his hand, clutching fingers that had long since grown warm in her own. “Maybe you can tell me more someday. Unless you have any more wild tales to share with me tonight?”
He smirked. “The only other one I can think of is Savannah’s story about how she joined the pack.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “She tells the story better than I ever could, so I won’t get into the grisly details, but she was basically a double agent for the Northern Wind, sent here to collect data from the inside for Lucas to exploit. Keep in mind, neither of us know the other’s here. She thinks I’m dead, I’m busted up and healing in the back room that they’ve got locked to all hell, and no one else in the pack even knows that Savannah and I knew each other! The look on her face when we were finally ‘introduced’ to each other was priceless, though I probably didn’t look any better.” His laughter echoed through the trees and lifted Lucy’s spirits.
“But yeah, long story, short, she fell for Tom and kissed the Northern Wind pack goodbye forever.”
Lucy nodded. “So after all of that, Lucas lost two bears. He couldn’t have been happy about that.”
A bit of the mirth drained from Dan’s eyes. “Not in the slightest. If I had to guess what Lucas cared about most in his pack, it’s keeping numbers high and then pushing them higher. Losing a pack member for any reason hit him hard.”
He rubbed his chin in deep thought. “I was one of his best fighters. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, but it’s true. And now I’ve hopped sides and he’s still alphaless. He’s likely scrambling for more fighters to combat how thoroughly outmatched his currently is.”
“But now they have Dominic,” Lucy sighed. “He’s not an alpha, but he plays the part well. He won’t be easy to beat, and I’m saying this as someone who knows more about him than anyone else.” She hated to say it aloud, but it was the truth.
“That may be so,” Dan agreed, rubbing his cheek as if he could still feel the pain of that night in the alley. “Or it may not be. I’d wait to see Nick and Tom in action before passing judgment, though. Alphas, true alphas… man, they’re in a class of their own.” The words would have sounded jealous were it not for the blatant reverence in Dan’s voice.
“I was in the Northern Wind a long time, so I’ve seen and been in my fair share of tussles with the alpha pack long before they became Forest Haven. They could take three or four of us each, no problem. I’d put my bets on them any day of the week.” Lucy could tell he completely admired their power. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that, and secretly hoped she’d never have to ‘see Nick and Tom in action’ for any reason in the near or distant future.
Dan looked down at her with a glow of warmth in his eyes, like a little boy that just got to meet his favorite super hero. “Any more questions?” he asked, stepping a little closer to her. “Or do you finally feel a bit better now?”
“I do feel better, thanks to you,” she answered softly. Acting on instinct alone, she slipped her arm lightly around Dan’s waist, and the lighting shock of sensation that she was already starting to eagerly anticipate sizzled all the way up to her shoulder. Dan jerked suddenly, and she knew he definitely felt something this time. “Sorry,” she muttered, beginning to pull away, but Dan shook his head.
“No please, don’t back away now,” he breathed hoarsely. “I think it’s obvious how attracted I am to you, and I have neither the patience nor the finesse for coy back and forth.” He looked deeply into her eyes as they held each other. “I like you, Lucy. A lot. So let’s just see where this goes.”
She chuckled, remembering the clumsy bear that knocked her on her ass nearly a week ago and tried to compare him to the man declaring his attraction with no shame tonight. They were almost two different people, and she honestly couldn’t tell which one she liked more. Her heartbeats came faster as she gazed up at him, the steely boldness in his eyes showing her without words that he meant every word he’d just spoken. “You’re not so bad yourself, sailor” she whispered, her own breathy voice matching his.
Dan laughed, chest rumbling deeply against hers. “That’s good to know.” Something clouded over his vision and he stood back a moment before clasping both of her hands in his own. “But before anything else,” he began, taking a deep breath. “Lucy, I want… I need to be able to shift with you.”
There it was.
Shaking her head almost immediately, Lucy felt every ounce of her excitement disappear all at once. “I can’t.”
“You can,” he pleaded, gently. “Not everyone’s like Dominic. Not everyone’s like Lucas. You can be a better bear than that. Forest Haven will guide you, and so will I.”
“I don’t doubt you will,” Lucy admitted. “And I know I play a somewhat integral role in this feud between your packs, but war has never been something I’ve ever been interested in. I don’t want any part of it.”
“All that we’re doing is preventing war,” Dan rebutted, voice as gentle as Lucy had ever heard it. “We don’t want to fight any more than you do, and I don’t want you to embrace your bear just so you can fight for us.”
Dan squeezed her hands lightly. “There’s so much more to being a shifter than fighting, Lucy. So much more. It’s freedom. It’s power. It’s knowing yourself in your truest form and knowing nature like an old friend. It’s amazing. Why won’t you let me show you the best side of yourself?”
Lucy’s heart ached. She saw the hope in his eyes and the excitement in his heart. She wanted so badly to say yes, to see that smile she’d begun to love so much light up his face, to finally begin the long journey to loving all of herself.
Yet she was going to say no to all of it.
Her bear growled from within, the desperation of how she felt and how close she was to giving in making it restless. It began to stomp and roar in agitation as she struggled to tame it, gritting her teeth against its angry protests as she pushed it back down. Her skin ripped with the beginning of a shift, the bear pressing against her eagerly as the urge to change washed over her like a warm high tide.
“Let me see your bear, Lucy,” Dan breathed, fervently. “Please. Trust me.”
“No!” she shouted, tearing her hands from his hard enough to stumble a few feet back. “This is who I am, Dan. Take it or leave it. If you don’t like me as I am, that’s fine, but let me know so I can move on.” She could see the hurt in his eyes, but she didn’t know how to fix it. She’d meant every word she’d spoken to him.
She sighed, trying to calm her rampaging heart, the beast finally receding back deep within her. “Look, Jo will be back any moment for me,” she muttered, her anger already fading away as she turned back in the direction of the shop. “Thanks for the talk.” Without another word or glance Dan’s way, she stalked off back to the mechanics, alone.
Chapter Eleven
Dan threw back his large head and roared, the trees shaking and rustling as the wildlife scrambled to flee the agitated beast. It was long and raging,
letting out the frustrations that he just couldn’t seem to expend in his human form.
“Feel better?”
He turned to see Tom’s bear approach from wherever he’d been patrolling, his discerning eyes fixed on Dan.
“Not in the slightest,” Dan harrumphed, toppling a small pile of old leaves in rebellion.
Tom snorted. “Wanna chat about it?” He turned away, beckoning Dan to follow him as he finished the patrol.
Dan paused a moment before falling in step beside Tom. It was a beautiful day, warmer than most at this time of year, but not even a romp through the woods to bask in the weather was enough to lift Dan’s spirits. It had been a week since that talk with Lucy, and she’d actively avoided spending more time alone with him since. He hated the way their conversation had ended, but he understood her reaction, even if he didn’t fully understand her reasoning for not shifting in the first place. He wanted so badly for her to see the good in him, in her, and all he’d managed to do was scare her away with his overbearing pushiness.
I’m such an idiot.
He sighed. “It’s Lucy.”
Tom bobbed his head. “I figured. This about that shifting thing?” Dan tossed him a look of mild surprise and he snorted smugly. “Didn’t think anyone noticed, huh? It was obvious from the moment she said it. You’ve been acting pretty down ever since.” He faced forward as they walked, eyes scanning the forest for any signs of movement. “I know your bear form is a big part of you, way bigger than your human half, so finding out that she didn’t want to share that part of your world with you must’ve been tough to swallow.”
Dan sighed. “Yeah, kinda.” He didn’t deny that he wanted something more between them, it was pretty obvious with how much they’d chatted over the past couple of weeks, but he didn’t think he’d been so easy to read. Hearing it said directly to him hit home in a way that ached his heart.
Tom flit his gaze over to Dan, taking in his lamented state. “Dan, you need to be careful.”
Dan’s head shot up, meeting Tom’s leer. “With Lucy? I thought we already had this argum—”
Tom shook his head. “That’s not what I mean,” he interrupted. “She’s given us no reason to question her motives, so I still reserve judgment. I mean…” He paused shortly to collect his words. “I don’t want you to hear her story and compare it to yours, you know? It may sound similar at points, but it’s not the same.”
The wind rustled the trees ominously as if to accent Tom’s warning before he continued. “There’s loyalty in blood, loyalty stronger than simply being a part of some pack. Just because you and Savannah were able to sever ties so cleanly with the Northern Wind, it doesn’t mean that Lucy can or will do the same with her brother.”
Dan grunted. “I don’t believe that,” was all he said, and he felt that deep in his core.
“I don’t expect you to,” Tom replied. “And I hope I’m never proven right, but it’s something that needed to be said.” He tilted his nose upward, sampling the air. “You haven’t been yourself lately, and I won’t pretend to ignore that it definitely has something to do with Lucy.
“I get wanting to help her—really I do—but as much as she needs you, your pack needs you more. I don’t want whatever conflict you two are having to jeopardize all we’ve been fighting for.” He snuffed amiably. “Plus you snore when you sulk and I can hear it all the way in my room. It’s about time you cheer up so I can get a decent night’s rest again.”
Dan huffed a sad chuckle. “Duly noted.”
“Good to hear,” Tom replied. “Patrol’s over, and Savannah promised she’d be out here somewhere waiting for me. I’ve got to go, but good talk.”
Dan groaned inwardly. He’d long since noticed that Tom and Savannah would often disappear into the woods together to do heaven knows what, and Dan didn’t really want to think about it. He turned back in the direction of the shop and began his trek back before he saw something that couldn’t be unseen.
The bear retreated slowly as he neared the mechanics, protesting quietly as Dan shifted back to his human skin. It seemed the more bothered he became with Lucy, the more the bear wanted out of his skin. As much as he wanted to oblige and just stay in bear form forever, he had an obligation to the pack that unfortunately required him to be bipedal most times.
Stretching long and tall to circulate blood through his human skin, he locked onto his clothes from where he’d left them before he shifted. With a grimace, he walked to his clothes, already hating the way fallen twigs and rocks dug into the bottoms of his feet.
“Dan?”
Panic surged through his naked body as he ducked hastily behind the cover of a tree. “Lucy?” he called, hoping she hadn’t seen anything before he hid. “Just, uh, just give me a moment.”
“Nick said you might be out here,” her disembodied voice replied. “I was kind of hoping we could talk.”
Panic made it hard to pinpoint her location, and Dan felt frozen in place, his clothes still too far out of reach to grab without flashing something.
“I’d love to, but first,” he said, “but first I need for you to maybe… stand back a bit. Maybe go back into the shop for a minute or two.”
Shrubbery rustled as Lucy moved further into the thick of the forest. “Why?” she asked, her voice slightly taken aback. “Is something wrong?”
He felt the familiar heat of embarrassment creep up his neck. “I was out patrolling,” he explained, slightly mortified. “I just changed back only a minute or so ago.” There was a beat of complete silence after he spoke.
“Oh.”
She tried to make it sound neutral, but Dan could hear the slight snicker she tried to hide at the end of the word. He couldn’t imagine feeling more humiliated.
“My clothes are nearby,” he spoke, just wanting to get this whole encounter over with. “I’ll only be a second.”
“Right,” Lucy replied, the smile in her voice prevalent. “Sorry, I forgot about that bit.”
Dan didn’t reply, listening to the sound of her retreating footsteps.
“Okay!” she called. “I’m going to dip into the garage for a second. You’re safe.”
He heard the side entrance of the shop swing closed before practically diving for his clothes pile. He threw them on as quickly as he could, tugging angrily on the shirt as he pulled it over his head.
He’d been doing so well! Now, he was back to his regular clumsy ways around her and making a fool of himself.
Slowly, Lucy stepped back out of the shop with her eyes covered dramatically. “Everything decent now, sailor?” she asked, not bothering to hide her grin.
“You’re certainly enjoying this,” Dan mock pouted, but deep down he was relieved to see her in such high spirits.
She chuckled, uncovering her eyes. They were very blue in the sunlight and sparkling with laughter. “It’s been a slow day. Everyone’s off doing other things, so it’s been a bit boring.”
Dan gave her a wry grin. “Welcome to my world, buttercup.”
She laughed. “Life in a pack with two mated pairs can feel a bit lonely, I imagine.”
He nodded. “More than I thought it would, that’s for sure.” Seeing Nick with Jo and Tom with Savannah had always made him feel things that he couldn’t quite understand. He’d only learned recently that the feeling was loneliness, and it only made the emotion intensify. No one liked knowing they were lonely and being completely powerless to change it.
But now there was Lucy.
“It’s nice to have some company now,” he admitted with a smile. “Makes their spontaneous date nights seem a whole lot less exclusive.”
“I bet,” she replied, eyes travelling down his torso. “You know your shirts on inside out, right?” she asked with a teasing smirk.
Fantastic. “Of course it is,” he said, gazing irritatingly down at the offending shirt. “I was trying to dress quickly, you see.”
“I do see,” Lucy murmured as Dan quickly whipped off the shirt and pul
led it back on.
He looked back to see a peculiar expression on her face, and a bit of thrill scurried through him.
She met his gaze with a deadpan expression. “It’s on backwards now.”
Are you kidding me? Dan raged inwardly, tearing off the shirt once more and putting it back on before he died of embarrassment.
He tugged down on the collar with an irritated sigh, and the tiny tongue of the shirt’s tag popped up in between his fingers. “Wait, what?” he began. He could’ve sworn he’d turned the shirt around properly.
Lucy snickered lightly. “I didn’t think you’d do it,” she joked. “Your shirt wasn’t actually on backwards,” she admitted, holding her hand to her mouth to hide her grin behind it. “I just wanted to see you take your shirt off again,” she finished with a wink.
Dan groaned. “I can’t believe I fell for that,” he lamented, but for once, the blush that crept across his cheeks wasn’t from embarrassment.
She laughed at him, but her eyes were kind. “For what it’s worth, I’m happy you did.” That familiar thrill flip-flopped in his belly again. “I like how silly you can be. It keeps things fresh.”
Dan studied her for a moment, not sure if she was being truthful or pitying.
“I mean it,” she laughed as if she could read his mind. “Truly. I like you, Dan Hart. Even the goofy side.” Her grin was radiant. “Especially the goofy side.”
Satisfied with the honesty in her voice, Dan couldn’t stop the smile that spread over his own face. It was just as well that she liked this side of him, it being something of a common occurrence in his human form. “I’ll put on my shirt inside out, backwards, and upside down for the rest of my life if it makes you smile like that every time.” He wanted to apologize for the way he’d acted before, forcing her bear to come so close to the surface, but he caught the blush that stained her cheeks and didn’t want to kill the mood.
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