by Susan Lowry
Splashing through the ocean and out onto the wet sand until only a few feet away from the figure, she was suddenly at a loss for words.
“You look like an angel with a halo of light over you,” said the woman.
“Ping?”
The woman laughed. “It’s Sarah! Don't you recognize your own identical-twin?”
***
They could see Jack through the front window when they came up the steps together. Kate opened the door and stepped inside.
“I was just about to come searching for you,” he said from the other room, unable to see them at the entryway. “Were you down by the water? It’s dark out.”
“Sorry, I uh… kind of got distracted,” Kate said, moving past the dividing wall for him to view her from his easy chair. He removed his reading glasses and gazed over at her, resting the book down on his lap.
His brows raised. “You look like you’ve got something up your sleeve,” he said. “What’s up?”
Even after their repeated hugs and greetings, tears and laughter and long conversations filled with explanations and more questions, Kate was still welling up with unbridled joy.
Jack’s eyes were wider than she had ever seen them. “What… why do you have that strange expression?” he stammered.
There was only one way to break it to him. Giggling, she finally blurted, “Don’t get up, okay?”
Suspiciously, he wrenched his neck to try to peer around the corner. But she could see he was flushed and about to jump out of the chair.
“Wait!” Kate giggled. “Listen to me. Remember I mentioned someone I called Ping?”
“Maybe,” he muttered, his thick brows pushing against themselves.
She nodded at Sarah who came out from her hiding spot and stood beside her. Jack gaped at them both. Then he collapsed into the chair his limp arms draped over the side. His hand came up slowly and he slid his fingers back through his long bangs. “Holy shit!”
“Jack, meet Sarah.”
“She looks exactly like you!
“She's my sister, my identical twin.” Kate put her arm around Sarah’s shoulders.
“Hi Jack.” Sarah beamed nervously, lifting her hand in a quirky kind of wave.
He stared at them for a moment. “If it wasn’t for her hair…” he mumbled. The colour had drained on his poker face.
Kate gazed at Sarah’s brown shoulder-length hair. Now that they were in the light she could see that he was right. Sarah was a reflection of herself.
“Oh my God, I just can’t get over this. We haven’t been together since we were three.” They held a long embrace again, tears flowing down their cheeks.
Then Kate went over to Jack, sat on the arm of his chair and began massaging his shoulders.
Sarah laughed, wiped her eyes, and waited while the two of them stared at her a bit longer.
“Do you believe me now?”
“She's your sister,” he said flatly as if that obvious fact was impossible.
“Take a look at her. Can't you tell?” Sarah chuckled. Poor Jack looked so confused. She rubbed his back harder and then took his hand.
He turned and peered up at Kate, his forehead still creased. “But, how did she find us?”
“We’ve been communicating with each other,” Sarah explained gently.
“Telepathically,” confirmed Kate. “But I still don’t get how you managed to hone in on me so quickly.”
“Oh Katie… I think it was just sheer luck. We happened to have been to this place a couple of times, oh, years ago. It was our only two holidays. Your descriptions reminded me of it, they felt the same… but it was really just a guess.”
“And I really believed you were dead,” Kate said, still holding Jack’s hand. “I called you Ping all this time though. How could I have been so dense? It was so blatantly obvious who you were. I guess I was in denial.”
“But I had a feeling it was you, Katie,” Sarah said. “It seemed possible that you could have survived if I did. It was only when I followed you down to the beach that I knew for sure. Could tell even from a distance.”
“After you were abducted, I spoke to Ping almost every day for a long time… was it really you Sarah?”
“Of course it was. Lillie — the woman who took me in her car that day, didn't like it when I said your name, so I used to hide in the closet when I talked to you. I could see you right there with me.”
Kate let go of Jack’s hand and rubbed the tears from her eyes. “I tried to tell Mom, but she couldn't take it. I can understand why now. That's the reason I began to call you Ping.”
Sarah had come into the living room. She sat down on the couch opposite to them and sighed. “But eventually we stopped talking altogether. Until after the plague.”
Jack suddenly stood up. He paced over to the window and back again, dropping back into the chair.
“Jack, I'm so sorry, this must be such a shock. It is a very long story, but, I told you before what happened to Sarah, remember?”
Both Sarah and Jack were looking tense now. “I think we could all use a drink,” Kate said quietly. “How about some wine?”
They were all too emotionally charged and it was hot in the beach house. They needed to walk it off. They strolled down to the water’s edge gazing up at the moon which was full and radiant. The ocean was beneath a dome of dazzling stars.
So absorbed in reconstructing their story, Kate didn’t notice how far they’d hiked, though Jack lagged behind and had little to say. Kate was engrossed by Sarah’s descriptions of life with someone crazy enough to abduct her and pretend she was her mom.
Sarah had managed to gain a pretty good understanding of Lillie though, at a painfully young age; she’d gone to great lengths to handle her too. Lillie was blinded by her monstrously selfish needs. She believed at her very core that she was the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate mother, and that for Sarah — she was a true blessing.
Pretending Lillie was her mother was the only thing that had worked for poor Sarah; it had brought the rewards of forgiveness, generosity and even a pseudo-love — which was better than nothing. The woman must have been convincing because young Sarah had abandoned all hope of reuniting with her real family. That’s when she stopped contacting Kate. But she overcame her depression eventually and got on with her new life the best she could.
Finally, realizing how far they’d gone, Kate plopped down in the sand and the other two followed. They gazed out at the ocean, quiet for a while, gripped by so many thoughts.
“So peaceful here, isn't it?” Kate sighed. “It's hard to believe anything ever went wrong with the world in a place like this.”
“It’s beautiful,” Sarah whispered.
“I’m so glad you’re here Sarah,” Kate murmured, glancing over at her.
Sarah chuckled. “It’s odd to hear that name. She called me Haley all these years.”
“But, why didn't you come back to us, when you were old enough to run away?” Kate requested, observing the starkness of Sarah’s incredibly green eyes in the moonlight.
“Stockholm syndrome?” Sarah shrugged almost cynically and then hung her head. “It’s awfully complicated Katie. If ever anyone needed me it was Lillie.”
“We missed you so much. Our poor mother, it pretty well destroyed her.”
“I'm so sorry,” Sarah whispered.
“No… I didn’t mean — Sarah, I hope you don’t think it was your fault. Mom never stopped blaming herself, and it was her mistake after all, wasn’t it? She left us alone in the car that day. But I forgive her for it, now.” Kate had a strange shaky feeling inside her stomach. She took a deep breath and lay back in the sand suddenly realizing her skin was beaded in sweat.
Then after a moment she spoke again. “It… It was also just plain bad luck. Kids got left alone all the time. Didn’t they Sarah? I guess we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s all.”
“I missed out on knowing her,” Sarah said, lowering her head.
/> “She died only three years later. Mom and Dad separated a year before she got sick and I went to live with him. She didn't last long at all after that.”
Sarah was lying back in the sand now too. “It must have been horrible,” she whispered.
Kate turned her head to gaze over at her sister. “Well, I never felt complete without you. But it had to have been a worse nightmare for you. Was Lillie awful?”
Sarah took in a deep breath and paused before she spoke. “It isn't easy living with someone like that. I was home-schooled… if you can call it that. And I never had a dad. She felt like my family though. I guess I was brainwashed. Later I — I guess I came awfully close to turning her in. But I didn't want to get her in trouble; I just couldn't.”
Jack, who was sitting beside her, was way too quiet through all of this. Kate sat up and took his hand, slipped her arm around his back and nuzzled against him.
“There's a body over there trapped on the log,” Jack said quietly. Rocking in the water with the tide, the moonlight bounced from its distended flesh.
“Ugh, I really hate seeing that,” Kate shuddered. “Well, I suppose that's our cue that it's time to get back. I'm bushed anyway,” Kate sighed.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked, glancing at her with a true look of concern.
She smiled. “I’m wonderful darling. How about you?”
The next morning Kate woke late, ran outside and threw up. Sarah rushed out after her.
“Must have been something I ate yesterday,” Kate moaned. Pale and tired, she plodded into the living room and flung herself down on the couch. “Where is Jack?” she asked.
“I haven't seen him all morning, and I've been up a couple of hours,” Sarah said.
“Hmm… He must have gone for his swim. We usually go early; seems he wanted to let me sleep,” she sighed, closing her eyes. In a moment she got up and went into the bathroom.
She came out feeling better and went over to the window to see if she could spot Jack. “It's getting hot again. After my cereal I’m heading down to the beach Sarah. Are you up for a swim?”
Sarah rose from the easy chair and put down the book she’d started. “I was just about to get my bathing suit from the car. Guess I’ll finish unpacking after lunch.”
Out on the veranda Kate put on her sunglasses and waited for Sarah to come outside. She could see Jack sitting not far from the shore on his towel. Sarah appeared a moment later in a scant, red bikini. They slipped flip-flops between their toes — the sand was burning hot — and headed down.
They were laughing as they plunked their beach bags beside Jack’s towel. Sarah continued toward the water. “Join me when you’re ready,” she called.
Kate peered down at him. “You went swimming without me,” she said, dropping down on the towel beside him and propping herself up on her elbows. She gazed at her flat belly.
“You were snoring peacefully,” he mumbled, glancing over at her.
“Well, you will never guess what just happened to me,” Kate chirped.
He peered over at her. “What?”
“I threw up.”
“Oh?”
“Yep. And I know why too. I'm pretty certain it's official,” she said, placing his hand on her belly.
“You're pregnant?”
“According to that pregnancy kit you gave me, yeah,” she smiled.
He leaned back on his elbows.
“I think we did it,” she sang, squeezing his arm. “We're a family, and now we have Sarah too!”
His expression didn’t change. Then he glanced down and crushed some grains of sand between his fingers, his lips drooping slightly, almost in a frown.
“Jack? You’re scaring me again.”
He shook his head as if to indicate that she was wrong. The sunlight had turned the stubble on his chin a copper colour. Cool drops of water fell on her arm from his dripping hair.
“Of course I'm happy,” he said finally, looking up with those unreadable eyes and barely a smile. “We agreed this was what we needed to do.”
“I know but… I just thought you would be delighted to know you were going to be a father. Isn't that a normal response?”
“Nothing is normal anymore, Kate,” he said cynically.
Kate squeezed suntan lotion from a tube she had brought with her, and began to rub it on her shoulders. “Motherhood is the most natural thing there is, and so is being a father. And you are going to be a good one for our many children… Jack?”
“What?”
“Why am I getting that sick feeling again? Like there is something you should be telling me. Here I am, pregnant with your baby, and it’s obvious you aren’t pleased. I feel like I don't even know you.”
“And you are correct. You don't know me. But you didn't have much choice in the matter since I'm the only stud available.”
“Well if you would open up a little… Tell me what goes on in that mind of yours. I'm doing my best to make you happy Jack. But you are so damned closed-off — it's like you don't want me to find out who you really are.”
Jack glowered out at the ocean.
“Why are you being so cold at a time like this?” Kate was on the verge of tears.
He suddenly cocked his head and glared at her. “Why?” he said, followed by a long drawn-out sigh.
Kate waited anxiously for an explanation; she was quickly filling with dread. He let the sand slowly escape from his fist like it was an hourglass. After a long silence he turned toward her.
“The truth is, the father of your future child just spent five years in solitary confinement. The plague was my ticket out of that hellhole. You have no idea what kind of a man I really am.”
Kate was beginning to hyperventilate. “In prison? But why? What did you do?”
Jack hung his head, threw a fistful of sand in front of them. “Aw Christ… I wish I'd never agreed to this. It was a bad idea.”
“What do you mean? Tell me why you were incarcerated!”
“The rape and murder of a four-year-old boy named Reed, a patient of mine at the clinic. He was dying… untreatable lymphoma. So now you know my secrets Kate. Are you satisfied?”
Kate began to sob.
He continued callously. “I have to say I was shocked about Ping… Didn’t expect her to show up at all. Maybe you weren’t kidding about that boy you talk about either. No-one talked to me while I was sick in that prison. But after, when I broke out of there… I heard you. Just didn’t believe it was true until I saw you that day.”
“What?” Kate cried.
“I thought you were the only one. But I guess the two of you have a gift that I don’t. Maybe you'll find other survivors too then. They don't need someone like me around, now do they Kate?”
He shook his head back and forth staring down at his hands. “Just get as far away from me as you can Kate, while it’s still possible. I'm serious.”
Trembling all over, Kate stumbled to her feet. She looked down at him and began to shout. “What kind of a monster are you? How could you do such a thing?!!!”
She started toward the cottage. “I'm getting the hell out of here,” she said, turning back toward him – then running as fast as she could.
Sarah had noticed the sudden commotion and came up from the water. “Kate, what's wrong?” she called. “What happened?” she said to Jack as she rushed passed him.
Kate heard Jack yell, “She'll tell you the details, won’t you Kate… You wanted to know.”
Chapter Twenty
Impulse Shopping
(July 16th, Year One, PA)
After a second bout of morning-sickness, a quick breakfast and a rush of packing their things into Kate’s Honda, Sarah put Snowy on the back seat and they both climbed in. Kate, who was in no mood to drive, was grateful to see Sarah slide behind the wheel. She was also relieved that Jack had the courtesy to keep out of her sight.
“All I know is we are heading west for Texas, Sarah,” she mumbled, fastening her seatbelt and pul
ling out her map. Sarah began to drive down the relatively unblocked strip of road alongside the beach homes. “I’m glad you agree on his whereabouts. Together, maybe we’ve got a chance of finding him.”
Sarah glanced over at her. “I found you didn’t I? He knows we’re on the way, contacted him last night since you were too upset to do anything but sob yourself to sleep. I’m so sorry sweetie,” she sighed and put her eyes back on the road.
“What is with that man anyway?” she hissed.
Kate could barely grasp what had just ensued. Things had been developing so perfectly and then, all at once, everything had changed. Why had she ignored her instincts about Jack? It was so obvious something wasn’t right with him. And she couldn’t have been more right about it.
“This is a disaster Sarah. I’m having that bastard’s baby. If you weren’t here with me right now… I—I really think this would be the end of me,” she sobbed.
Sarah came to a stop at the intersection to the main road. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry. But it isn’t your fault. It’s just typical Kate… messed-up people like that — they take advantage of people when they are most vulnerable! Man! If we weren’t in such a hurry to find the boy, I—I’d—”
“I assume you’re taking the back roads Sarah; we don’t want to get stuck in traffic.”
As Sarah manoeuvred the next corner Snowy’s cage skewed against the suitcase beside him. Sarah reached back, nudged it upright again, nearly swerving off into the ditch. “How you doing there Snow?”
Then, straightening the wheel and stepping on the gas she glanced over at Kate with her brows deeply furrowed. “You’re not well enough to be having a child. And I… I've never delivered a baby before.”
Kate saw her bite her lip. She was squeezing the wheel, evidently furious with herself. “How difficult can it be? There's nine months ahead of us, loads of time to do the research, right? You’re in good hands,” Sarah giggled nervously. “Trust me.”
Kate wondered what living with that Lillie woman had really done to Sarah’s head. She sighed. Only time would tell. She was fighting to keep her breakfast down and Sarah’s unpredictable driving was making that nearly impossible.