‘I want her to serve me!’ The woman pointed at Emily, who had just heard the furore and was already making her way to the front of the shop.
‘Who do you think you are, shouting at my nan like that?’ said Emily. She spoke a little nervously, but still with far more firmness to her tone than I would have expected. Go Emily.
The woman growled, lunged across the counter and picked up a heart-shaped box of chocolates. ‘I’ll do what I want. And right now, I want to talk to you.’ She stuffed one of the chocolates into her mouth. Even the sweets themselves were heart-shaped, I noticed. Beautifully crafted. ‘I don’t see anything so special about these. What about your fabulous ice cream? Give me some of that.’
Emily blinked and threw her arms across the freezer. I went to stand up, but Lassie put a hand on my arm.
‘That’s a werewolf, Wanda,’ she said in fright.
‘Oh, I know,’ I said, brushing her arm off. ‘I just don’t care.’
Max followed me towards the counter. ‘I have your back, Wanda. But just so you know, there’s something all wrong about that lady. She smells like she’s about to turn any minute now.’
By the time we reached the counter, the werewolf had stuffed most of the chocolate into her mouth, pushed Emily out of her way, and was now raiding the freezer. Other customers were leaving their seats and rushing out of the shop, giving the werewolf a wide berth as they went.
‘I keep myself looking like this.’ She waved her hands towards her perfect body. ‘Eating barely anything. Even when I turn I stay away from anything fatty. And what do I get? Hey? What do I get for all my effort? Dumped for a little dumpy you.’ She glared at Emily. ‘Where is he? I know he’s not really been kidnapped. It’s just like him and that stupid band of his to pull a stunt like this. Is he hiding in some little love nest upstairs?’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ said Emily. ‘But seeing as my paying customers are leaving because of you, then I’m going to give you one chance to get the hell out of my shop.’
‘You know very well that I’m talking about my Jasper!’ The werewolf growled again. Her teeth were looking incredibly pointy, and her eyes had turned yellow. ‘I know you went out with him. I know he dumped me for you. He never shuts up about you. About the amazing food you make. How sweet you are.’ She threw one of the chocolates at Emily, then opened up a tub of ice cream and began shovelling it into her mouth with her fingers. ‘I’m sick of dieting for that idiot. That ... that moron. I thought we were going to have pups together. And now this? I hate that jerk!’
I took her gently by the arm. ‘I get it,’ I said softly. ‘I’ve heard all about Jasper. He really does sound like a jerk. A right eejit. You’re way too good for him. I mean you’re probably … what? An actress? A model?’
She nodded miserably. ‘The most famous supermodel in the world.’
I wasn’t really up on fashion, so I’d have to take her word for it. ‘Exactly. You’re the most famous supermodel in the world. And he’s only in some dumb band no one’s even heard of. So don’t waste your misery on him. And if he fancies Emily now, well ... that’s not Emily’s fault, is it? Girls shouldn’t fight with each other over guys, right?’
She licked some ice cream off her fingers and looked apologetically at Emily. ‘You are really pretty. I didn’t mean to call you dumpy.’
Emily blew out some air. ‘I really don’t care what you call me. And I also don’t care about Jasper. I barely know the guy.’
The werewolf sniffled. ‘Your ice cream is really good.’ She reached into her pocket and tossed a bunch of coins on the counter. ‘Will that pay for everything I took?’
‘You don’t have to pay anything at all if you just leave and never come back,’ said Emily.
The werewolf retracted her teeth, whispered, ‘Sorry,’ and began to walk outside. As we watched her go, her leggy strides began to falter. She fell to her knees, half in and half out of the doorway, clutched at her stomach and said, ‘I think I ... I think I’m going to be ...’
She didn’t manage to say anything more. She let out a croaking sound, retched up some chocolate, and fell unconscious.
I rushed towards her and bent down, feeling for a pulse, but I found nothing. My own heart was racing so fast that I couldn’t be sure. I glanced worriedly at Max. Lassie had joined him, and Emily was standing on his other side, while the customers who had run out of the café had all returned for a good gawk.
‘Someone else needs to check her to be sure,’ I said. ‘But ... guys, I can’t feel a pulse.’ I picked up one of the fallen chocolates, and sniffed. ‘Oh crap. We need to dial the Peacemakers.’ I watched Nan pick up the phone. At the same time, I pulled out my own phone, and dialled Ronnie’s number.
5. Little Finny Plimpton
The Peacemakers arrived in a flash of light outside the door. When the light calmed down, a large black armoured carriage appeared, drawn by the strangest looking horses I’d ever seen. They were sleek black, and yet somehow seemed to reflect all of the colours around them. If you didn’t look directly at them, you might almost think nothing was pulling the carriage at all. Unless, that is, you happened to look at their eyes – because those were bright gold, and impossible to miss.
‘Púca,’ said Lassie with a shudder, looking at the horses. ‘I thought the fair folk wanted nothing to do with witches these days.’
She was right – at least according to the books I’d been reading for my Magical History test. The sióga – the faeries – were capable of carving out their own enclaves and putting up some incredibly powerful protections. They didn’t need witches for anything, and after some argument in the Year of the Worm, they had cut off all ties with our community. I wasn’t sure I blamed them.
The creatures pulling the Peacemakers’ carriage weren’t really horses, but shapeshifters called Púca that preferred to live in the faerie domain these days. They were known to be mischievous, to say the very least, and to take on whatever form suited them at the time. It baffled me that they were allowing themselves to be used for transporting Peacemakers.
Nan laughed. ‘Sure who could blame the faeries for what they think of our lot?’ she said, echoing my thoughts. ‘I heard the Minister had to get down on her hands and knees to the Queen to get those creatures. Seems quite a few of her Peacemakers have trouble travelling by finger-click. Or by broom. I imagine even a wizard broom would be beyond that lot. But Púca ... I’m surprised the Peacemakers can control them.’
The carriage door opened, and a dozen Peacemakers marched from the vehicle and into the café.
I expected us to be shoved off the scene. It was what usually happened, in my experience, when Peacemakers arrived. But, although a few of them said, ‘Sod off Wayfair,’ as soon as they saw me there, the guy with the star on his breastplate turned to his team and said, ‘Who’s in charge here? Eh Danny? Eh Majella? Because last time I checked, it was me.’
The two called Danny and Majella lowered their heads, and got to work. Starman called over another Peacemaker and said, ‘You’re on crime scene photos, Gretel. Okay?’
She nodded and marched away, and Starman issued a few more orders, organising things quickly. Within a few seconds, the shop was on lock-down, cordoned off outside. A short, stout man arrived and went straight to the body, opening up a healing bag and getting to work. Not that there was anything he could do for the werewolf at this stage.
Starman walked towards me, pulled off his helmet and extended a hand. ‘I should have introduced myself when we met before, but it was all a bit hectic. Hi again, Wanda. I’m Finn.’
‘Is that a department appointed healer?’
‘Straight to the point. Just what I like. Yes. Dennis there works for the Department of Magical Law, just like the rest of us. He’s the guy we call in when there’s nothing left to save.’
‘And her.’ I nodded my head to the Peacemaker he’d called Majella. ‘I recognise her voice. I saw her bully a weredog in Warren Lane
quite recently.’
Finn gave me a taut smile. ‘I wish I could say that wasn’t true. But ... Majella can get a little bit overenthusiastic, sometimes.’ He looked at Max and Lassie – his eyes lingering a little too long on the latter. ‘Listen, I know you’re witnesses and everything, and I might be questioning you guys later, but why don’t you get off for now? This is a sensitive scene here. Werewolf gets murdered. Two weredogs happen to be in the vicinity. It’s better you get out of Riddler’s Cove before the other Peacemakers – Majella in particular – notice what you are.’
Max looked at me.
‘It’s okay,’ I told him. ‘Take Lassie home. There’ll be a bunch more Wayfairs here in a second.’
Max seemed unsure, but he left with Lassie nonetheless.
As Finn watched them leave, he asked, ‘They a couple?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Does that really matter right now? This is a murder scene, Finn.’
‘Of course.’ He cleared his throat. ‘It was purely professional curiosity.’ He turned towards Emily and Nan, who were huddled behind the counter and whispering together. ‘So here’s the thing,’ he said, beckoning me along with him. ‘We’ve got a werewolf who’s been murdered, presumably ...’ He picked up one of the few chocolates that his team hadn’t managed to squash into the ground. ‘... by chocolate poisoned with an enormous dose of Jinx. Weredogs don’t do poisoning. They’re way too straightforward for that. And werewolves rarely use poison on their enemies either, because they prefer to settle their grievances when the moon is full. Poisoning is almost always witch business.’ He raised a brow at Emily, said, ‘Can we get some drinks over here?’ then turned back to me. ‘Which makes the jurisdiction on this one a little bit of a grey area.’
I resisted spewing out all of the things I’d like to do to the Minister. A werewolf victim meant Peacemakers would take the case. A possible witch culprit meant we would. ‘As far as I can tell, it doesn’t matter what I say,’ I said through a clenched jaw. ‘You guys have a habit of taking over and messing things up, which means we’ll have to investigate illegally. Again.’
‘I know, right?’ Finn settled into a stool by the counter. ‘I’ve been saying it to my aunt all along. But do you think she’ll listen?’
‘Aunt?’
He gave me a wry grin. ‘Minister Plimpton is my aunt. Actually, I think you might have had the misfortune of meeting my mother, too. Carmel?’
I groaned. ‘You’re Mizz Plimpton’s son? Wow, I can’t catch a break these days.’
‘Whatever do you mean?’ He took the coffee that Emily slid across the counter. ‘I’m being more reasonable than either of them, aren’t I? I’m sitting here trying to figure out a solution with you that makes us both happy.’
I snorted, taking a sip of my drink. ‘Sure. Until you’re not being reasonable. The only reason I’m even having this conversation with you is because I’m trying to figure out your angle.’
He shook his head. ‘You can’t be tricked into getting involved in investigations anymore, Wanda. The Minister might want to keep you away from this case, but she can’t. Not according to her new agreement with you.’
‘Sure, because your aunt never reneges on her deals.’
‘Touché.’ Finn nodded. ‘So what are we going to do here? I think Emily’s not an official suspect. Yet. What do you think?’
I looked Emily up and down. She seemed nervous. She was hiding something, I could tell. But murderous intentions?
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘Not yet. But she still needs to be questioned. And Christine will be able to find out exactly who’s come and gone in this place all day, so we have that covered, too. Plus, Ronnie will be examining the poison.’ I glanced out the door. A rumbling noise had arrived, and a chrome and black motorcycle flew gently to the ground. Ronnie jumped down off the bike, ran a hand through her short black hair and glared at the Peacemakers who were guarding the door. ‘See?’ I grinned. ‘Here she is now.’
As Ronnie barged past the Peacemakers, my mother and Christine arrived right behind. ‘Ah,’ said Finn, standing up to greet Ronnie. ‘I see Wanda’s called in reinforcements. And quite right too.’
Ronnie beamed like a crazy woman and pulled Finn into a big hug. ‘Well, if it isn’t Little Finny Plimpton. You took the promotion.’ She tousled his hair. ‘I knew you’d do the right thing in the end.’
Still holding onto Finn, Ronnie turned to my mother, Christine and me. ‘Young Finny here is just about the best student I ever had. He proves that good things can come from bad beginnings.’ She shot him a guilty look. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t slag off your mammy and your auntie, I know. You love them. They love you. It’s a great big barrel of love in Casa Plimpton. But Finn here, he’s a bit of a special case.’
My mother smiled warily up at Finn (she and I shared the same perfectly short stature). ‘I’ve heard all about you, Finn Plimpton. Aced every single class you ever took at Crooked College. You’re just about the only qualified person on the Peacemaking force.’
Finn shifted and glanced back at his unit. The one he’d called Gretel was trying, and failing, to take a photograph of the body. She hadn’t yet realised that the reason for her trouble was that the lens cap was still on. ‘That’s not their fault, though,’ he said amicably. ‘I’m the first Peacemaker to have passed the captain’s exam, so ... y’know. They’ll get there.’
‘Sure they will.’ My mother put her hands on her hips and looked around. ‘So what do we have so far?’
I passed a piece of chocolate to Ronnie. ‘Smells like Jinx,’ I said. ‘But something else, too. Something fishy. I’ve checked the ice cream she ate, but it just smells like ice cream. I still think we’re going to have to take all of the food on the premises in for examination.’
Ronnie sniffed the chocolate. ‘Sally’s stars! How much poison does it take?’ She grimaced. ‘Our killer was not subtle. I can get that hint of fish you’re talking about, too. But I have no idea why that would be. There are no fishy ingredients in Jinx.’ She moved around, examining the rest of the food. ‘Yeah, I think you’re right about it just being this one box of chocolate, Wanda. But I’ll still have to take the rest of the food in for testing.’ She gave Nan and Emily an apologetic look. ‘Sorry, but we can’t take the risk.’
They nodded readily. ‘Of course,’ said Nan. ‘Whatever needs to be done. But you know my Emily had nothing to do with this.’ That last part was focused on my mother.
She walked over and patted Nan’s hand. ‘Don’t worry, Nan. We’ll get to the bottom of this. We’ll have to question everyone. Not just your Emily.’
‘Do you have security footage?’ asked Christine.
Emily shook her head. ‘We’ve never needed it. We haven’t had so much as a muffin stolen in all the years we’ve been here.’
‘That’s okay. I’ll see what I can envision in my scrying bowl.’
Emily worried at her lower lip and mumbled. ‘Oh. Your scrying bowl. I forgot about that.’
Finn met my eyes, then he looked at my mother. ‘So ... what’s the plan here, Goodwitch Wayfair? You question any witches and we concentrate on questioning the other supernaturals who were here today? Because me and Wanda were talking about it, and I think we both agree that the whole system is a bit convoluted.’
My mother scowled at him and pulled me aside. ‘That young man is far too charming,’ she said. ‘I don’t like charming men. Not to mention that he’s a Plimpton. Any time we make deals with Plimptons, we usually come off the worse. And ... well, what’s to say this isn’t just step one of them moving onto our turf?’
I cast a surreptitious glance in Finn’s direction. I didn’t know about charming, but he was way too confident, bordering on cocky.
‘This is your call,’ I said to my mother. ‘And for what it’s worth, I was not coming to any agreements with him. He likes to do most of the talking.’ I took in a breath. ‘Look, I see his point. It’s the same thing that we’re always saying ourselves. It’
s way too convoluted. As it stands, he doesn’t actually have to involve us at all. A werewolf murder is their turf. Until we know whether our major suspect is a witch, we have no say here.’
My mother grinned. ‘You’ve been studying.’
‘Of course I’ve been studying.’
‘You’re right, y’know. He doesn’t have to let us in at all. Until those chocolates are tested positive and we can tie this to a witch, it’s all down to his team.’ She kicked the leg of a table. ‘But that shouldn’t mean he gets to question witches with us. Before we know it, they’ll be involved in all of our interrogations. And then next thing you know ... no more Wayfairs.’
I took another sneaky peek at Finn. He was sitting back on his stool, sipping his coffee and taking everything in. ‘It’s the lens cap, Gretel,’ he said to the Peacemaker with the camera. ‘No. No, not your helmet, Gretel.’ He suppressed a laugh as she began to remove her helmet. ‘You can still see through your helmet, can’t you? It’s that little cover over the lens of the camera. See?’
I looked back at my mam. ‘Y’know, I don’t think we have to worry about Peacemakers taking over just yet. And I get it. I do. Justine clearly has it in for us. And Finn is her nephew. But ... we can’t control what the crazy witch is going to do, can we? We can control what we do here, though. How about we let Finn question the witches with us? But only on the condition that we get to be with him when he questions the other supernaturals who were here today.’ She looked about to argue, but I cut across her (like the well-behaved young lady I am) and said, ‘Look, I don’t know about you, but if Max and Lassie do get called in for questioning, then I’d really like the chance to be in that interrogation room.’
My mother nodded. ‘You’re right. Max and his cousin are a whole lot more important than Wayfair pride. Okay. Let’s do it. Wayfairs and Peacemakers. Ugh!’ She shuddered. ‘I never thought I’d see the day.’
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A Trick for a Treat (A Wayfair Witches' Cozy Mystery #3) Page 4