by Mary Dublin
"Ah, he's always hungry."
Daniel bent down to the sack he'd brought and loosened the tie. Dipping his hand inside, he pulled out a handful of oats to offer Amos in an open palm.
Stiffening, Esmae tried not to stare too long as the horse ate. It was hard to ignore that she fit as easily in Daniel's hand as the oats did. The thought sent a shudder through her. Averting her eyes, she peered over her shoulder at the prince and couldn't help but relax a little.
There was a gentle look in his eyes as he fed Amos, and he wore a smile that almost made her forget how deep and intimidating his frowns could be. She gave a small start when his gaze flicked down to her, but his smile only grew warmer.
Amos finished the handful of oats, and Daniel was stroking the horse from forehead to muzzle.
"Would you like to pet him?" he asked.
Esmae's eyebrows shot up, and she looked back and forth between Daniel and Amos. "I-I… would that be a good idea? Are you sure he won't think I'm some interesting new snack." She chuckled uneasily.
"He won't hurt you," the prince assured her. "He knows how to treat a lady. Don't you, boy?"
Amos swished his tail in reply, nostrils flaring impatiently. Daniel hushed him, stroking up to his fuzzy ears with an experienced hand. He looked down at Esmae, noting the apprehension on her face.
"Just hold your hand out flat, like this."
Daniel demonstrated with his own. Esmae took a breath, assuring herself that he wouldn't let any harm come to her. She stretched out her arm towards the horse, keeping her fingers tightly together.
"L-like this?"
"Perfect."
The warmth of his smile gave her the strength to keep from shaking as he moved her closer. To her relief, Daniel held her higher on Amos' snout, between his eyes. The horse was constantly making little movements, trying to get a look at what his owner held. Daniel hushed him again, putting a firm hand on Amos' side.
Once the horse held still, Esmae steeled herself and reached to touch him. Her fingers brushed the coarse fur lightly at first, but with a burst of confidence, she gave Amos a firmer pat. The stiffness in her movements eased away, and she stood up carefully on Daniel's palm to continue stroking the horse between his eyes. It was the strangest thing, petting an animal so massive. She couldn't be sure Amos was even aware of what she was doing.
That was, until the horse reared its head back slightly, pulling away from her touch and knocking her off balance. Daniel's other hand was at her side in an instant to steady her.
"Amos," Daniel said sternly.
Esmae cocked her head, noticing the way one of the horse's inky black eyes was now fixed on her. "No, it's alright," she told Daniel. "He only wanted to see. You… you can take me closer again."
This time, she could sense Daniel's hesitance.
"Hello, Amos," she said with a tentative smile, noticing the way his ears twitched and swiveled in response to his name. This time, he didn't move around quite so much with her approach. She didn't have to brace herself to reach out. Glancing over her shoulder, she grinned at Daniel. "He isn't so frightening."
"Are you this talented with all animals?" he asked. "You seem to have quite a gift for taming them."
Esmae snorted softly. "Only the only who don't see me as a threat, I imagine." She found herself forgiving the pungent smell of the stables as Amos snorted contentedly, encouraging the fairy's gentle petting.
"Are there any that do fear you? Er—not that you're…"
"It's alright," Esmae interrupted, facing him fully. "I know what I am." She pursed her lips, brushing off some larger bits of fur from her dress. "In my kingdom, we would herd silkworms. Awfully skittish creatures, even with the most skilled herder. You'd be a mess if you tried to approach one without training."
Daniel's fascinated nod made her heart stir. "Well, it seems butterflies aren't quite so skittish. You didn't even need to call it over to you."
She grinned at yesterday's memory of handing off the butterfly to Daniel. Her smile wilted at the thought that the witch had been spying on such a wonderful moment. She could even be watching right then. Esmae blinked hard, trying to rid herself of the idea.
"I doubt Amos would have appreciated my approach so much if I had come alone. But he knows you, and he's already tamed," she pointed out. Then she grimaced. "The mice in my kingdom are tame as well. Wild ones, though… they're territorial and quick to see me as a threat. I discovered as much while I was hiding in the walls."
She regretted the words immediately when she saw the troubled frown forming on Daniel's face. His eyes narrowed, crinkling slightly at the corners as he suddenly looked her over.
"I wasn't hurt," she added hastily, recognizing his worry. "Only a few scrapes."
Though his frown eased, Daniel didn't look entirely comforted. He sighed sharply through his nose, glancing away. "It just puts me at ease that you're with me now," he said, reaching up to stroke Amos' ears with his free hand. "I don't like to imagine you fending for yourself at this size."
"I managed," she said with a weak smile, patting Daniel's index finger. "But it's nice being able to sleep safely."
It didn't sit well with her to wonder where she would be at the moment if Daniel hadn't discovered her in the dining hall that night. If she had somehow escaped the castle grounds, she would have been walking right back into the witch's clutches—though chances were slim Esmae would even survive the journey.
"You have nothing to worry about anymore," Daniel assured.
Before she could answer, movement at the corner of her eye grabbed her attention. Esmae frowned, peering past Daniel's face to look at the roof. A shadow had stirred in the filtering sunlight, but now there was no sign of it. Just a bird, Esmae thought, stifling a shiver at the thought of having to defend herself against an owl or the like.
The prince followed her gaze and then looked back at her. "What is it?"
"Nothing—" She stopped short when a different shadow near the entrance of the stables came into view. This time, it was accompanied by the definite footfalls of a human. Esmae blanched. "Someone's coming!"
Daniel reacted all too swiftly. Before she knew it, his fingers closed in around her and caused her heart to jump to her throat. The instinct to squirm took over, prompting Daniel's grip to become firmer. By the time he released her into his pocket, her breaths were short and panicked. His actions had been a far cry from the usual unhurried way he ushered her into hiding, and it left her gripping at the fabric around her from some sense of stability. She knew why he had needed to move so abruptly, but the experience still left her feeling helpless.
"Daniel?" The severe greeting chilled her into going still.
"Father," Daniel breathed. She understood why he sounded nervous. The king was a stern man on the best of days, and his son was no exception to his demands. Esmae rocked as Daniel turned to face him. "What are you doing here?"
A rattling cough preceded the reply. "I could ask you the same question."
"You should be in bed," Daniel urged him, striding forward. There was a jolting motion as if he was being shaken off.
"And you should be practicing your craft," the king snapped. "What are you doing in the stables on your own?"
"I can shoot an arrow well as I could yesterday." The laugh in Daniel's voice was strained. "There's no reason I can't keep my own horse company."
"You have servants for that. That's reason enough."
Esmae could see Daniel's frown deepening in her mind's eye. "What I do with my free time shouldn't be a matter to be quarreled over." There was a weariness to his tone that made it clear the matter had been quarreled over in the past nonetheless.
"Need I remind you that you wasted far more than your free time already this week?" Somehow, the king managed to sound even more severe. "That woman… Emily—"
"Esmae," Daniel cut in. His heart was beating faster. "Her name is Esmae."
"I warned you about her from the start! You didn't listen to me th
en, and look what happened. I thought perhaps you would be more willing to accept my advice after that. Quit wasting your time with nonsense and apply yourself to what matters."
"This isn't nonsense." Daniel's tone took on an edge that rumbled straight through his pocket. "And Esmae has nothing to do with this. There's no reason for you to bring her up."
There was a deep pause before the king spoke up again. "You can't possibly be defending her?"
The prince made a noise that Esmae imagine accompanied a scowl. She was particularly glad not to be on the receiving end of it.
"She wasn't a monster."
"Come off it, Daniel. She was a simple conwoman. You know this. And perhaps if you got your head out the clouds, you would have seen that earlier."
Daniel's heartbeat thundered against her now. If Esmae was to be honest, the tension racking his body was making her nervous. She was almost grateful when he made to step around and made a beeline for the exit.
"I'm not having this argument again," he muttered.
"You're not some stable boy, Daniel, you're the future king." The king was persistent, following behind his son with shuffling steps. "You can't afford to keep acting so recklessly. Think of your future. Of this kingdom's future!"
Daniel scoffed. "This kingdom isn't going to be lost just because I decided to tend to a horse." But he had to know that his father meant much more than that.
As Daniel's footsteps rattled through her, Esmae's mind raced. She couldn't hear the king anymore, but the prince was still incredibly tense. Although she knew Daniel's relationship with his father had been strained long before she had arrived, she couldn't help but feel awful that she provided another reason for them to argue. And it could never truly be resolved because the king couldn't know the truth.
Sighing deeply, Esmae did everything she could to rid her thoughts of the witch's words, but she was sitting in Daniel's pocket, unable to show herself until he deemed it safe enough. Unable to provide comfort because she had to remain hidden.
One day he would have a kingdom to rule, and he was devoting his time to a wingless fairy. What on earth were the two of them thinking?
Daniel's stride slowed to a stop, and light flooded in overhead as he pulled his jacket away from his chest. Although she was eager to meet any moment that she didn't have to spend in his pocket, her expression was locked on a troubled frown even as his fingers scooped her up with his usual amount of care.
The inviting sunlight of the stables was gone, replaced by walls of dark stone. He appeared to have paused in the privacy of a small staircase.
"Esmae, I… I'm so sorry about all that." His apologetic gaze was immense and immediate as she was pulled up to his face. Daniel suddenly looked so tired. Older, even. "Are you—"
"I'm fine," she murmured. She didn't realize until he was peering down at her that tears had collected in both her eyes. Hastily, she blinked them away. "You didn't get in trouble because of me, did you?"
Daniel shook his head. "Trust me, his temper isn't your doing. I'm afraid the illness hasn't made him any more agreeable."
"I'm sorry," she said, because it felt like the right thing to say, though it couldn't begin to cover how she was feeling. She leaned back against his fingers, her eyes skating around the open palm he held her in.
His gentle gaze sought hers, and it was difficult to avoid eye contact with how close he held her. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked quietly. "You look shaken."
Esmae couldn't bring herself to fib again. "What's going to happen to me?"
The frown that creased his brow made her look at her lap. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, your father is right about one thing. You're going to be king. And I don't see how we…" She trailed off, feeling her throat close up and wishing she could forever live in the moment he first kissed her. "Last night, the witch said things I can't stop thinking about. And I'm… afraid. Are we being sensible?"
"Sensible?"
The tears started welling up again, and this time, Esmae struggled to keep them at bay. "There was a reason I needed to be human for you. You shouldn't have to sneak around to protect me."
His face contorted. "You think you're tricking me into something I don't want to do? I'm capable of making my own choices."
"I don't want you to do anything you'll regret."
"I'm not going to—"
"Look at me, Daniel!" Esmae looked him full in the face, unable to hide her despair when he so effortlessly loomed over her. "Stop pretending you don't see it."
Daniel let out a soft breath, tilting his head at her with deepened sympathy. He didn't dismiss her this time.
"I see you," he answered quietly.
Esmae hung her head, pawing at her eyes. Looking at her lap was no escape from her haunted thoughts, for Daniel's palm was there beneath her, a reminder of why she would never rule by his side.
"I'm so small," she whispered hoarsely.
His breathing hitched. Then something changed in the air—movement. Daniel curled a finger under her chin, gently guiding her eyes back up to his earnest gaze.
"You're still beautiful."
A teary smile tugged at her lips, and she tilted her head to rub her cheek affectionately against the side of his finger. "You really are too kind for your own good," she chided half-heartedly.
He leaned in closer, unwavering. "It's the truth."
There was plenty of opportunity to pull away from his approach, but she held still and allowed Daniel to close the distance. The sensation of his lips almost made her worries dissolve. His finger moved out from under her chin to brush along her back.
There was no denying the tenderness of his kiss. There was no pity, and he was doing far more than extending kindness.
"We'll never be able to kiss properly," she said with small chuckle when he pulled away enough. "You know that?"
Daniel made a noise halfway between and laugh and a scoff. Esmae's eyes fluttered shut as the heat of his lips pressed adamantly to her cheek. "Stop trying to push me away," he breathed in reply.
His breath raced down the neck of her dress. It was nearly impossible to argue with him when he held her so close.
"I'm not trying to," she told him earnestly, turning her head to offer a kiss of her own. "It's just…" She trailed off, a contented sigh slipping past her lips as a couple of his fingers trailed lower and locked around her waist.
"Just what?"
"Just… you couldn't have possibly imagined being with a fairy." She wasn't sure she could even call herself a fairy anymore, but it made no difference. "You must have had some sort of plans before I came along—at least an idea of what your life was going to be like. You'd rewrite all that… for me?"
"You don't give yourself enough credit," Daniel said with a coy smile. "I'd follow you to the ends of all the kingdoms and the seas between them."
Esmae gazed up at him as he lowered her from his face, scrutinizing him. "You're more stubborn than I am," she murmured.
His laugh made her insides flutter. "Probably."
"I won't make you chase me that far then," she said, smiling genuinely despite everything. It was hard not to believe him. Even if humans didn't put truth on the same pedestal as fairies did, Daniel never gave her a reason to believe he would lie to her.
The thought compelled her to eye him curiously; not only his face, but the hand that held her and the fingers that caressed her. It was strange—not bad, but strange and overwhelming in the best way. She couldn't help but wonder what it felt like to him.
"How are you alright with this?" she pried. "With me being barely the size of your hand?"
"I knew you before you changed," Daniel pointed out.
She smirked. "That ought to make it more jarring."
He merely shrugged. The most adorable frown crossed his face as he apparently gave the concept serious thought. Esmae had to bite her lip to keep from grinning.
"I once courted a girl scarcely taller than my collar," Daniel said af
ter a moment. He motioned at the base of his neck with his other hand. "A duchess, I believe."
She lurched slightly as he set off for the narrow stairs that led to the upper floors, glancing anxiously at the sound of passing voices near the door behind.
"Could you carry her with one hand?"
"No," he admitted with a chuckle. "But it's not that different, now that I think on it."
"Really," Esmae declared skeptically.
The prince smirked at her, a glint of mischief to his gaze. "It's true. I only hold you a little differently, that's all. The rest isn't so strange as you think. You're Esmae, whether you're a few inches tall or not. You're still the same."
"I think it's more than a little different," she scoffed, though she knew he was not about concede. And truth be told, his stubbornness settled her worries the slightest bit.
However, her smile fell when Daniel paused before the hall. She knew what was coming. Even if Daniel kept his head down and spoke to no one, it was simply too risky for her to remain in his hand out there. When she looked up, she already saw the apology written on his face. Her eyes trailed lower to his collar, and she frowned, holding her hands out for him to stop when he reached for the flap of his jacket.
"Hang on," Esmae said. "Can you… bring me up closer? Near your neck."
His confused hesitance was blatant, but he did as she requested. "What's this about?" Up close, she could see the intrigued smile tugged at his lips. Perhaps he thought she wanted to kiss him again. The thought made her stifle a chuckle as she stood carefully on his palm.
"Hold still for me. I do hope you're not ticklish."
"What? Esmae—"
"Don't move!"
"I'm not."
She gripped his collar and stepped off his hand. Daniel was practically holding his breath while she settled by his neck, ducking among the fabric of his shirt and jacket collars. It seemed shadowed enough to cover her, with none of the stifling darkness of the pocket.
"Do you think I'm hidden?" she asked, realizing she didn't need to raise her voice at all while she was so close.
"I think you're going to fall, that's what I think."