Five minutes later, Damien stalks down the hallway to sit next to me on the floor, his hands on his head. We sit there silently for about five minutes before I finally ask, “Is he dead?”
“No,” he responds, surprising me. “Your father isn’t done with him yet.”
“Wow. How thorough he is,” I spit. “How many have you killed?”
“None. Jason doesn’t want both of us to go down that road. He says that watching and actually having to physically carry it out are two different things.”
I almost laugh at that. My daddy, the virtuous one, always taking one for the team.
“Rayne-“
I cut him off.
“Don’t Damien. I’m not ready to talk about anything else right now. I don’t want to know anything else. I’m on overload and I just want to see Selene,” I practically beg, feeling the full weight of exhaustion that stress can put on you.
“Ok. I won’t argue with you, but there is more that you need to know sooner than later now.”
Those are the last words spoken between us as he drops me off at Selene’s. I am deflated. I had told her that I was coming and that I was staying the night about twenty minutes before I arrived, then I had texted mom to let her know where I was too. I figure by this time, she’d start to worry a bit.
When we pull up at her house, my body is numb and my thoughts are a tangled mess. I had always prided myself on doing the right thing and maybe I had only seen the world the way I wanted to see it up until now. Maybe my dad is doing the right thing, even if it seemed wrong to me. My dad is not an evil man and clearly, he has an empire to protect. How else are you supposed to protect an empire? Damn. What wouldn’t my dad do if pushed?
Right when the car stops, I hop out before Damien can say anything and Selene flicks on the porch light. She had been waiting for me. I have to practically fight with my legs to not run the rest of the distance to the door. She opens it as soon as I hit the first of four steps; and once I see her face, a wave of relief floods me.
I’m safe now, I tell myself. We stand in the doorway and hug as I listen for the sound of Damien’s car driving off. Then, after a soft, much needed kiss, Selene pulls me inside.
Chapter Four
Selene’s home is tastefully modern with creams and dark accents as well as wonderful artwork throughout. She loves mirrors, pictures of foreign landscapes as well as beautifully painted naked bodies of men and women alike in various poses and positions. It makes for an interesting blend throughout the entire house. Even the furniture is shaped with curious angles that look uncomfortable until you actually have a seat. Add in throw pillows and rugs and you have awesome splashes of color. Her entire house is like this, even the bedroom furniture is like being transported to a different place. She has throw blankets and pillows on the bed coordinated to match the walls, a nightstand design that is connected to the bed frame and a comfortable chaise lounge on the other side of the room.
The thing that really melts my heart is the picture Jasmine painted for her a month ago of two women, backs turned, holding hands, and facing a body of water. For her to have placed it in her bedroom where she’d see it every day makes me happy. Jasmine has talent and I know Selene really loves it.
The one place that is not filled with the bold splashes of color and décor is her kitchen. That place is Selene’s sanctuary and it seems as if she wants to keep that area as untainted as possible. It always remains pristine with the stainless steel appliances sparkling, her spices and herbs are always neatly labeled and organized, and her dishes are always immediately washed, dried, and put away. She has a dishwasher, but I’ve never seen her use it once. I also know that even though Selene may not be as rich as I am, she has to have some type of trust fund or something because none of the things in her house come cheap, I would know. Even this quiet suburban area is fairly pricey. Her home always smells warm and inviting too. Earthy scents usually fill the air and today, I smell patchouli.
Selene is dressed in a Brazilian track jacket in support of her home country and some loose fitting jeans. She still makes nice and casual look model-like. Her long silky black and blonde ombre hair is braided all the way back into a ponytail, and she has a flower in her hair that matches the jacket. From the looks of it, it seems like she just came home from a walk rather than the shower that she teased me about earlier.
In the back of Selene’s home is a small wooded area and she says that she loves to walk around and enjoy the nature. That’s why she chose this area to live in. She once said to me me that the land around here is respected, whatever that meant. Selene’s different in that way, kept plants, whispered to animals as if they were human, and only used as many organic items as possible. She’d said that there was a price for defiling nature and that if we listened close enough, we could hear the plants weep at how we treat the earth. That’s my Selene.
As I plop on the couch and take off my shoes, Selene goes into the kitchen and brings me back some herbal tea and a sandwich. She had told me once before that the tea would help calm my energy and restore my muscles. I don’t argue with her because I enjoy the taste of vanilla and honey. I thank her and once she’s satisfied, she sits down next to me and runs her fingers through my hair. It’s probably still slightly wet from my shower earlier. It feels good to have her touch me and I relax even more as she whispers something inaudible.
“Better now, beautiful?” she asks in her sweet song of a voice.
“Better,” I say, meaning it completely. I am so much better that I don’t even want to talk about what I had seen and risk the chance that I would not feel how I’m feeling at this moment again.
“So,” she begins, still playing in my hair. She loved to do that. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong or are we going to pretend that nothing has happened and watch a movie or something?”
Geeze, when she put it like that, it seemed as if I was a coward running away from my problems. Ok, maybe I could be a coward for a few more minutes. No, I know she’s right to word it how she did. The sooner I got it out in the open and worked out in my head, the better off I’d be. She already knows me too well, it’s kind of creepy. “We can talk about it, but you have to promise not to say anything until I finish the entire story. No interrupting with gasps and frowned up faces either.”
“You’ve never heard me gasp,” she defends, and then laughs realizing full well that that wasn’t true. There were many times I had touched her in just the right spot and…
I roll my eyes. “Stop making me think of those things when I’m trying to be serious,” I warn and lean away from her and her now wandering hands.
She laughs seductively, scoots away from me and pretends to zip her lips.
Two deep breaths later, I tell her about my entire night, from the time I meet Damien in the hallway until he drops me off. We sit with the distance between us and the silence after I finish speaking makes it seem even further. Selene is clearly searching for words to make me feel better about the burden that has just been revealed to me, but she’s having some trouble. It almost makes me feel even worse as if she is doing her best not to judge. But I still wait, needing to hear what her next words will be.
Finally, she scoots back close to me and rests my head on her chest. Together we sigh, and then, she whispers, “Power has a price. That will never change.”
“But what if that price is just too damn high?” I ask quietly, fighting tears.
“Then, there will always be someone else willing to pay that cost love.” Selene then gets up and starts pacing. I watch as she bites her lip, carefully choosing her next words. I sit up straighter, trying to remain patient, but I’m afraid that she will tell me to call the police or something on my dad.
“Baby,” I finally say, breaking Selene from her daze.
She turns towards me and gives me a sad smile. I almost get up to hug her, but she waves me off. “I’m fine. I just was thinking of home.”
“Does home have anything to do with
my situation?” I ask, sounding much more asshole-ish than I intended. I cringe.
Selene pretends not to notice and responds, “Actually love, it does.” Her accent rolls sweetly off of her tongue as she says, “I have never told you about my family and how they tried to force me to be with a man who not only I had no attraction to, but I did not even know.” I flinch reflexively at her words, both stunned and confused as to why she never told me this.
Through my silence, she continues, speaking as if she’s telling another’s story and not her own. “His name was Sergio Cardoso and he was deeply connected to my family. I disliked him from the second I met him. The arrogance he possessed flowed off of him in waves…” Selene’s face turns up into a scowl, and I swear I feel her anger hit me too. I begin to frown as I try to ignore the feeling.
“He was a bastard. The son of a bitch told my father that if I married him, not only would he “cure” my dyke-ish ways, but our children would be born into power and honor, and of course money.” Finally, she sits back down, but on the other cream couch. “My father craved power and every time he obtained more of it, it was never enough.”
“How?” I beg. “How did things end? And why…”
“No, Rayne. I care about you, but don’t you dare start to accuse me of not telling you sooner. This is my life and I am entitled to keep certain secrets until I am comfortable with confiding in you. This is not harm to our relationship and if you treat it like it is and start making things all about you, I won’t tell you shit else,” she says as stingingly as a slap to the face.
All I can do is nod as I stare at this woman, the woman who right now, in my eyes, actually looks the years older than me that she is. I feel like a jealous brat and mentally kick myself. When I see tears forming in her deep, green eyes, I automatically start to stand up, but she beats me to it and begins to pace again. There’s something eating her up inside and all I can do is sit patiently and wait. I think about how Selene has always told me that her trust is not a gift that is easily given and I know that whatever is going on inside her mind is part of the reason why.
“Rayne, in my culture, you honor your parents and their wishes above your own. My father wanted our bloodline to be assured; there was no other alternative for him. Sergio kidnapped me as I was walking home from the market one night. He tied me up, drugged me, screamed in my face, spat on me and called me a whore. Then, then he raped me. For three days he raped me.” By this time, Selene’s words have become sobs and I am so stunned that it seems that my body has been paralyzed.
Sickness was on the verge of taking over after what I had witnessed with my father, but this, this is just too much. Breaking out of my stupor, I sprint for the restroom and barely lift the toilet seat up in time to empty all my stomach’s contents as well as dry heave for minutes still. When I finally finish, the anger comes as well as sadness that I never was there when that man hurt and defiled the woman that I am falling hopelessly in love with more every day.
As I study myself in the mirror and reach in the drawer to find my extra toothbrush to scrub away the taste of bile, I see a reflection looking back at me that I hardly recognize. There is borderline hatred in my eyes and I’m so horrified of what I see that I quickly rinse my face, and then leave the mirror behind. I feel as though that reflection is still standing there, staring me down as I walk away.
I now understand what my dad has done tonight, even if I don’t yet condone it. His business, his possessions, his family is everything to him, and to protect that, he will do the unthinkable. A few seconds ago, I had become my daddy, obsessed with revenge on a man I had never met over something that he had done years ago before I met Selene. I can’t fathom what I would attempt to do if this had been something that had happened to her when I’d been a part of her life. Fuck! I want to call in a few favors right now and have Sergio dealt with.
I walk back in the living room where Selene is still standing, but no longer pacing. Her eyes are red and puffy yearning for comfort, and yet, I still can’t bring myself to touch her. Not from disgust, but right now, she just seems so fragile as if she would break from the slightest touch. I want to apologize for Sergio’s actions, to tell her that I will never allow anyone to break her down again, but before I say another word, she begins again.
“And you know what the most fucked up thing about the whole situation was? Not that I had to save myself, or that I had to have major surgery because of the damage he did inside of me. That I almost lost my chance to ever have kids. The most fucked up part of the whole thing is that my father told him to do it.”
I nearly fall to the floor this time, but somehow, I manage to make it to Selene’s side, pull her down to the floor with me and cry with her for what seems like eternity. My soul is reeling and both of our shirts are covered in tears and snot. I don’t care, all I want to do is make all of her pain go away, erase her past and free her of the prison of lies and distrust.
I make a vow to myself silently that I will protect Selene, my Selene and get her any help that she could ever need. “Is that why you left?” I whisper.
“Among other things, yes. But right now, that is all you need to know.” Selene’s voice is nearly back to normal and I wonder how she can separate herself from what went on. I want to ask her how many years ago had this happened, what happened with Sergio, how did she find out about her father’s role in it. There are so many questions that her revelation had created, but now I know the true extent of the trust issue and that I will have to work to prove to Selene that I can be her safety net, and the woman she could trust.
“Selene, baby,” I start, choosing my words carefully, wanting to be as honest as possible.
“Selene, I love you. I do. I love who I am with you and that I feel completely safe with you. I just wish that I could make you feel that way with me. Maybe one day you will; maybe one day you will feel like you can tell me anything in the world and know that I won’t judge you and that you will still be the same person in my eyes.”
She lifts her head up and smiles longingly at me as if she wishes that it could be just as I said, but knows that it isn’t true. My heart drops and I know that Selene is not ready to tell me she loves me back.
“Baby, it’s okay. Don’t feel obligated to say anything you aren’t ready for. I know that you’re almost there. I know that you have strong feelings for me too. Even if it’s not love, yet,” I try to assure her.
“Thank you beautiful, but there are many things about me that might make you rethink those words. We were both born into power. The power that my family possesses is much different than yours, and you may not like what that means,” Selene says somberly.
“But hell, Selene, that doesn’t change that I love you now, today; and today, I mean the words that I said.”
She sighs. “Ok, Rayne. I believe you and I truly want to be an open book with you, but I’m just not ready. I’m sorry that I piled all of this on you after what you learned about your dad. It was selfish of me in a way, but I wanted you to understand that people’s circumstances can cause them to do uncharacteristic things, whether right or wrong, all in the name of power and control, or in the battle to obtain it.”
I let her words run through me. “I get that. When you told me what happened, I wanted to do the things my father was doing to that man to Sergio. I wanted to go back in time and kill him for you.” I watch Selene flinch slightly at my revelation, but I continue. “I didn’t know you to protect you, but I still feel, responsible,” I admit.
Selene puts her hand in mine and tears cause her eyes to sparkle. “Baby, don’t. What is done can never be changed. Every day I am moving on from that betrayal, and believe it or not, having you in my life has made that transition so much easier. Rayne, I’m almost there. I may even be there now, but I just can’t say those words.”
“I’m okay with that. My heart knows that you’re mine,” I say with a smile on my face. “I’m going to learn all I can about you, and hopefully, I will le
arn more about myself too.”
Selene takes my face in her hands and brushes my hair out of my eyes with her thumb. Then, she leans in and I can smell the soft scent of lavender in her hair as I breathe deep. Selene leans in and waits for me to close the rest of the distance before her soft, warm lips meet mine and her tongue pushes through my parted lips to explore my eager mouth. She’s gentle in her approach, hesitant as if she’ll expect me to pull away. I drown her worries as I deepen the kiss and climb on her lap, wrapping my legs around her waist.
Selene quietly moans in my mouth as she tries to rub herself against me and reach under my shirt to softly scratch my back. Soon, her lean, femininely muscled body is lifting me in her arms, my legs still wrapped around her as she carries me to her room, trying never to break our kiss. My body begins to tingle with excitement and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise. My eyes begin to adjust to the darkness of the room.
“Please,” I beg Selene as she lays me firmly on the bed. Desire burning between us, reflecting in her eyes, I continue speaking quietly knowing full well that she can hear me. “I only want to feel you. I don’t want anything else to matter right now.”
“Shh,” she coos. “I need this too baby.”
Where Selene is usually gentle and filling, she becomes rough and consuming. Her kisses leave a trail of burning liquid passion to my center. My pants come off with a fierceness that leaves my own desire wet and throbbing. Selene stands up and undresses slowly in front of me. When she strips off her bra, her round, grapefruit-sized breasts bounce in excitement and her hard, caramel nipples practically beg me to wrap my warm mouth around them.
I can’t contain myself and I begin to rub my clit in slow, small circles.
“Stop,” Selene commands, startling me. “It’s mine. No touching.” I smirk and raise an eyebrow at her.
The Unmaking (The Rayne Whitmore Series Book 1) Page 3