“Rayne, please understand. You are my family. No matter what I disagreed with, you have to know that I would have never stood by and let anyone or anything do that to Jason. I’m saying this because whoever is behind this hit, they felt the way I did and I know that it looks bad. When you saw your father torturing that man, it was because he had kidnapped those researchers to copy the work they were doing at the company. Your father refused to sell him anything and they did not want to take no for an answer. The man warned him that if he wouldn’t sell to his employer, then he needed to shut down his research. Jason ignored his warnings as well as mine that what we were getting into was a dangerous road.”
“I don’t doubt for a second that you had nothing to do with this and I kind of see your point, but, there’s more to this isn’t there? There’s a piece missing, I can feel it.” I lean forward, enthralled in our conversation.
“Well, yes, other than the fact that I can’t get any fucking information on who’s behind this shit. You’d think they’d want to announce to the company what they did to prove a point not to fuck with them or not take their demands seriously. Right now, we are just watching our backs and reassessing every single person or company we’ve ever done business with. That could be their plan too, to throw us into chaos and confusion and I have to admit, it’s kind of working. It’s the same strategy that terrorists use. They are slowing our entire production down and some of our best people who know the truth have resigned.”
Damien stands up, clearly stressed as he rubs a hand over his dark hair. “But, there has been talk that it is becoming more difficult not to risk exposure for the supes and that a type of governing body of their own may be forming if they haven’t done so already. I don’t think those people like that either and it seems that they may be trying to arm themselves for a type of power struggle. We already know that individually, each race has their own way of dealing with their kind, but now, they may be working together like never before.”
He begins to pace with his hands behind his back while he speaks. It’s a sign of nervousness that I don’t often see from him. “That may spell trouble of a different kind if we push too hard. We may outnumber them in terms of bodies, but with their combined strength added to the fact that we have only myths and rumors to rely on, it could end tragically with a war unlike anything the world has ever known. The problem is, we can’t trace anything and that’s the problem with dealing with the supes, it’s hard to find evidence when they truly don’t want it to be found. They have ways of making people forget or see things that are untrue. The only thing we do know is that the person we are looking for is a magic user. Selene is the one that figured that one out.”
We both look at Selene who doesn’t seem ready to offer any more information, so I start.
“So, let me make sure I understand all of this. My father wanted to keep a special group in the government armed against supernatural threats. You, and this mystery person or group, both think that by doing so it could lead to unnecessary ‘witch hunts’ against anyone who is ‘different.’ This group wanted dad to either sell them the same weapons or stop production completely, for a price of course. My dad refused. So, this person had one of his men kidnap the researchers and then kill them as a message. When that message was received, dad retaliated by hunting the guy down and torturing him in revenge. Then, the same thing happened to my family.”
I stop for a second as I figure something else out. I put my hand over my mouth in shock, but finally continue after Damien looks at me in confusion.
“It was all a game. You just said that supernaturals can keep things like identities and evidence from being discovered if they don’t want it found, right? Well, I’m going to assume that that is only the case when dealing with humans, that we can’t always find supernaturals, another reason why dad wanted these weaknesses compensated for. He probably got angry and thought that he was able to track the man who killed your researchers down through his own brilliance, but that’s not the case.”
“Whoever is behind this wanted that man to be found because as you said, my father had a reputation. That person knew, he knew that his own man would be killed and he was betting on that, using his death as an excuse to take out my father and even our family because he was too much of a threat to the supernaturals to live.”
Damien looks at me as if he’s been punched in the gut. He sits back down slowly. I look to Selene’s disgusted face too as the air in the room seems to get heavier. I know I’ve hit a homerun. I have great analytical skills and it really didn’t take much for me to figure it out once I got most of the evidence into place. I just can’t believe it. My father was so much of a threat that whoever ordered his death felt as though it was the only option. Everyone played into this person’s hands and that made him or her, a serious menace.
“I can’t believe this shit. And in the meeting, I argued with Jason in front of the guy about how it may be a mistake selling to the government. He must have gone back and reported it. Oh my God, that’s probably the only reason why I’m alive. I wasn’t seen as a threat.” Damien looks as if he’s going to be sick, but if I’m honest, I’m sure I look the same way.
“Then whoever this person is has a lot of power and experience. They have to have a lot of followers who believe in his cause plus money to get things done. We already know he is witch born, that much I’m sure of. It has to be a male and he has to be over forty years old. That should narrow the field down to about twenty possible people. This is when the list gets scary. My advice would be to just let it go, but I know it would be disrespectful to your family to push that, so I will say instead, we must tread carefully. I can give you a name of an informant who may be able to point you in the right direction,” Selene tells us firmly.
“Are you sure you have the right contacts and skills for this?” Damien asks.
“You have no idea who I am or what resources I have at my disposal. I may live modestly, but I can assure you I have plenty of means to get what I want. The problem is deciding what the price will be for the information we may obtain. My world is a dangerous place and in my world cost brings on a whole new meaning.”
“And I,“ Damien begins.
“Will not put yourself in any unnecessary danger. Pay someone to get the information we need. Money is no object. You need to run the company. Will you make sure I have enough funds when I get back, a place to live, and arrange a way for me to see my family’s graves tomorrow without me being followed? I need to say goodbye,” I tell him much more authoritarian than I probably should.
He stands up slowly and puts back on his sunglasses so I can’t see the emotions behind his eyes. Still, I could be blind and see the pain he’s hiding. What a pair we are. Both of us cut more deeply than any knife could ever reach.
“Ok Ray Ray. I will pick you up at seven in the morning tomorrow. Be ready.”
I get up and hug him tightly. “I will. I love you D.”
“I love you too.” Then, he kisses my forehead, waves to Selene and leaves, shutting the door quietly.
Deep breaths keep me from shedding any more tears.
Chapter Ten
I take a nap and when I awake I find that Selene is watching me, rubbing my head and whispering something quietly to herself in a musical tone. I think I am becoming more attuned to her magic because now I can feel the slight wind around me as she speaks. It calms me and I smile my ‘thank you’ to her. All those times I thought she was muttering to herself or when I felt a tiny spark of electricity, she was actually using her magic and I had no clue. Crazy.
“You were having a nightmare,” she tells me.
I try to think back to my dream but I can’t, which is probably just as well. I’m sure I can guess what it was probably about. “Well, I don’t remember it, I just felt you and woke up.”
“Good. It seemed like it was bad. I was worried.”
Selene seems to be doing more than her fair share of worrying about me and now, it has to s
top. I need to be able to do the worrying for myself.
“Soon you won’t have to protect me. I will be able to do it on my own. I know Diana said that I may not survive it, but I know I will. There is no other option for me.”
“I believe in you, but I will always worry about you. That’s what people do when they’re in love. They worry about the other person. You’re my responsibility,” Selene tells me honestly, lovingly, and my heart skips a beat.
“About damn time you said it,” I smile.
“Well, you’ve known how I felt all along. I still have my issues, but I trust you Rayne, I do.”
“And I will do my best not to give you any reason not to.”
“Good. Now, can you do me a favor please?” Selene asks, as she pulls her hair back, out of her beautiful, sad face.
“What is it?” I ask quietly, enjoying our closeness.
“Can you just hold me for a while?” Selene asks, surprising me.
“Of course love,” I say, understanding that she needs to be the one to feel safe after working overtime to make sure everything was fine with me. I wrap my arms tightly around her waist and pull her into me. Selene lays her head on my chest and I inhale to smell of vanilla in her hair. We lay together silently for hours, me never breaking my hold on her.
◊◊◊
Damien knocks three times on the door and I hurry to open it. As he steps in, Selene calls out behind me.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
I had already had this conversation with Selene earlier about how I just wanted to say my goodbyes alone, that it was something that I needed to do. I feel sort of selfish because I know how much Selene loved Jazzy, but ultimately, I need this time to be exclusively mine. I can’t do the next step with Diana until I take this trip by myself. I know Selene understands that, but I also know that her feelings are hurt.
“Yes, I’m sure. I have to do this alone,” I say with finality.
Selene just nods and kisses me quickly on the lips before leaving the room, the hurt slowly filling her eyes even as she tries to hide it. I frown, but keep my resolve. Damien gives me a pat on the back and reaches for my hand. I decline. I can do this.
I get in the car and buckle up as Damien says something into the Bluetooth that he’s wearing. Seconds later, he gets in, looks in his rearview for a few seconds, then pulls off. Five minutes later, he stops the car and tells me to get out. I don’t question it, simply follow orders. Next, we get into a dark Suburban with tinted windows and a driver who I recognize as a man named Tanner. His salt and pepper hair and serious face is hard to forget, especially after I’ve given him hell a couple times in the past. This time, he doesn’t even acknowledge my presence as I get in the car, probably afraid of any breakdown he thinks I may have.
The ride back into the city takes two hours and no words are hardly exchanged on the way, except for Damien telling Tanner to circle a street again or to get off of the main road and then get back on. I don’t ask any questions as my mind thinks about how bad it would be for us if we were to be ambushed by someone who realized that I wasn’t really dead, or if it even mattered that I wasn’t. Wouldn’t it be even better for the game knowing that I did live? Wouldn’t that increase the fear and chaos? My mind asks these questions until we pull up to the cemetery. Then, Damien finally addresses me.
“Are you ready for this?” A loaded question. Five simple words.
I sigh and open the car door. “Which way?”
Damien gets out and points me toward the direction. “There, in between those two big oaks, and really close to that bench.”
I look at the oak trees bowing over as if they’re weeping for my family as well. I try to take a step forward, but my feet seem to be frozen. I look back at Damien with desperate eyes. “If I go over there and see their graves, then it’s all true. This really isn’t a bad dream,” I say, fear creeping up into my throat, causing my voice to betray me.
“If you go over there, you will see that they are at peace. No more pain. They are just resting, waiting for you to join them again,” Damien tells me trying to ease some of the unfairness of the whole situation, of life itself, and of this irrevocability.
“Ok,” I whisper and find my feet again. I walk two hundred twenty three steps until I stop at the graves, until I see not only my family’s, but of the unknown person who is occupying my spot. I bend down and touch that marker first, the one that bears my name and I say a prayer for her, for her family. Then, I touch my parent’s.
“Hi,” I say, not knowing where to begin, having never done this before. Definitely not thinking I would have to do this so soon. I sit there for a moment then look up to the sky. “Mom, I’m sorry that we hadn’t really had a chance to work out our differences, but I did listen to your opinion. I did listen even when I pretended I didn’t. I know that you always had my best interest in mind and that you loved me no matter what. I get a lot of my strength from you. If I could have told you this when you were here, maybe we could have been much closer. I hope that even though I didn’t say it, I hope that deep down you knew it.”
I turn and put my hand on my father’s headstone, the wind picking up as if my family’s spirit has come to listen in. “Daddy, I want you to know that I forgive you for your decisions and that I don’t blame you for any of this. I talked with Selene and D about your business, your choices, and what you were trying to accomplish. I may not agree with you on everything, but I know you based your actions on what you felt like you were doing to help people. You are the greatest father in the world and you’ve always tried to protect me. I love you and mom both and I hope you’re taking good care of Jazzy.”
I turn to my sister’s grave and think about all the promise she had in her, our last conversation, how independent she was and how brave she had been trying to keep me safe. I try to hold my tears in, but I can’t, and I quickly give up trying as it becomes nearly impossible to breathe again.
“Jaz, I don’t think I could have done what you did. I wouldn’t have been able to think as fast, be as brave. I love you so much for what you tried to do to save me and I blame myself because maybe if you weren’t thinking of me, you could have been safe. It should have been me, not my beautiful, smart, little sister. If I could take your place I would in a heartbeat Jazzy, I promise you that. But since I can’t, I’m gonna do the next best thing, I’m going to get justice for you.”
Tears flow freely onto my baby sister’s grave. “I will fight as hard and as long as I can to find out the truth and to make sure they know who you were and what they took from me. I’m sorry that you won’t be able to live your dreams and I will try everyday to keep you alive in my heart and mind. I can’t believe this is really real and I don’t know how I will be able to get up every single day knowing that I won’t see you, but I will do my best because you would hate it if I just gave up, but it’s going to be hard. I just hope that I’m strong enough.”
After about an hour of conversing with my family, hoping they heard every word I said, I finally leave them behind, in the ground, where time doesn’t matter anymore. I had told them everything I knew about what happened and even explained to them what I was getting ready to do with my life. When I said everything I felt that needed to be said on this visit, I actually felt slightly better. I felt as if they had all gathered me into their arms and told me that I was going to be okay. Part of me wants to believe it, and that will be the part I hold on to.
I look back one more time at their resting place and whisper another goodbye, knowing that I won’t be able to come back here for a while and I don’t want to forget where to go or how at peace the world looks from my vantage point at the moment. I have to hold on to the love that they had for me or else I will destroy myself with grief. I have a purpose now and I’m not allowed to break down anymore. I feel that; I understand that. Life would never be fair, easy, or simple. This is a truth that I need to hold fast to as well. Bottom line, regardless of what happens
in this life, we must go on. My father taught me that.
“You look a lot better than you did going in,” Damien observes as he opens my door for me.
“I feel a hell of a lot better too,” I say as I slide in and he closes the door behind me.
When he goes around to the other side and hops in, Tanner immediately starts the car, but this time, I see him give me a little smile through his mirror. He was worried about me and now that my demeanor’s changed, a sense of relief has washed itself through the entire SUV. I give him a nod in acknowledgement and he pulls off. It will be a battle with my pain, but now, I feel as if it’s a battle that I can actually win.
“I need you to make a stop for me. Damien, can you make arrangements at another safe house that’s close to here?”
Damien turns to me confused, trying to figure out what’s on my mind. “Well, sure, but we can’t stay long, I have a couple meetings,” he answers.
“It won’t be long. I just need you to grab a few things first.”
◊◊◊
When Damien drops me back off to our original safe house, it’s about seven hours later. Damien and I hug one last time, tightly, before he stretches our embrace out to arm’s length and takes a long look at me. I watch one lonely tear fall from his eye, and I catch it and wipe it away.
“I know what you’re thinking D, and I’m going to tell you not to worry about me. I will make it through this and I will be much stronger. I know I’m going to be gone a long time and won’t be able to contact you, but the minute, no, the second that I can, you know I’m going to call. I love you,” I try to assure him.
The Unmaking (The Rayne Whitmore Series Book 1) Page 8