Bittersweet Addiction

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Bittersweet Addiction Page 4

by Q. B. Tyler


  “What?” I say my eyebrows furrowing together. “Charley, of course not.”

  “It’s okay, I’m not mad. I don’t blame you for wanting to think it over.”

  Is she insane? Does she really think I could ever give her up?

  “There’s nothing to think over. I want to be with you. End of story.”

  “You say that now…” she whispers.

  “Forever.” I pull her hands to my mouth.

  “I know that you say that you’re okay with losing your practice, that you won’t resent me, but…you don’t know what the future will hold. You don’t know how you’ll feel in ten years if this is still being held over your head.”

  “Charley, I mean in the same respect, you don’t know how you are going to feel in ten years. No one knows what the future holds, that’s not a reason to turn your back on something great or to be afraid to pursue something. I know that you are worried about the future but…we love each other.” I brush my knuckles down her cheek. “I love you.”

  “I love you too. I’m just ready for next week,” she adds.

  “When you’re a free woman,” I tell her, picking up her left hand and pressing a kiss on her ring finger. “I can’t wait ‘till this holds the ring I give you.” The tears are rolling down her face rapidly and I narrow my eyes curiously. “What’s wrong, baby? Why are you crying?”

  “I just can’t believe that this is happening. Finally, we can be together and for the first time in…years. I’m happy,” she whispers.

  Happy.

  Maybe my counseling did some good after all. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. And now she is.

  Finally.

  * * *

  FINALLY, I’M FREE.

  I finish signing my name on the documents officially granting me my divorce. I’ve just dotted the last “I” and crossed the last “T”, literally and figuratively. I set my pen down and look up at the judge who’s sitting at the head of the table in the conference room of my lawyer’s office. I pull the two small boxes out of my purse that hold my wedding ring and my engagement ring and set them on top of the papers. The red Cartier boxes are a stark contrast to the sea of black words on the crisp white paper. I chance a glance at Matt and he’s staring at me as if he’s ready to rip me apart. I swallow nervously, wondering if he’s going to bring up my infidelity as I slide the papers to my lawyer and he passes them to his lawyer. Matt’s eyes never leave mine as he glides his pen across the page, signing his name before he slams the pen down. His eyes are cold and dark, but what’s scarier is that they appear almost empty. Lifeless.

  And just like that, I’m divorced.

  You could cut the tension with a knife, it’s so thick. I hate that things ended like this, that Matt hates me, that I hate him. That the good times we had are so overshadowed by the last two years and even more specifically the last month.

  How do people that get divorced remain friends with their ex? Right now, the thought is unfathomable.

  Matt doesn’t wait long before he leaves the room without so much as a goodbye or have a nice life or fuck off. I wasn’t expecting to feel such a wide range of emotions. A part of me grieves for the woman that was so madly in love with Matthew Wells, but for the most part I feel relief. Relief to be free from such an unhappy marriage. The shackles removed. The tears flow down my cheeks before I can even convince myself that now is not the place to cry when I hear my lawyer’s voice.

  “We did it.”

  I sniffle and I’m happy to see that the room has cleared out. “Cromack…John…thank you,” I whisper. “For everything,” and before I know it I am hugging my divorce lawyer in a way that I assume most young women hug their fathers. So tightly that they never want to let go and Cromack has been more of a father to me than anyone I’ve ever known.

  I don’t think I want to let go.

  He pulls away and stares me down, his hands on my shoulders. “You take care of yourself, okay? As fond as I am of you kid, I never want to see you in my office again, you hear me?”

  I nod. “Yes, sir.”

  “Good.” He smiles at me before he pulls me into another hug, and I wonder if he’s ever hugged any of his clients. “I’m going to miss you, Charley.”

  “Because I made you a shit ton of money?” He pulls back again and I shoot him a knowing grin.

  He chuckles. “Well, it didn’t hurt,” he nudges me before standing and pulling me to my feet, “but no. Because although I’m a lawyer and I sold my soul a long time ago, representing you made me remember all of the good that I wanted to do once upon a time. You’re a good kid, Charley. Representing you made me feel less like the asshole lawyer that’s going to hell and more like the lawyer I wanted to be in law school. The one for the people. The people that need me. That are hurting. That feel that they have no hope. You gave me back a little bit of my humanity, Charley. And I’ll never forget that.”

  The tears that I was hoping would stop, are now in full force hearing Cromack’s words, and I nod. “Stay in touch, okay? Keep me informed about Beth.” I giggle as I mention his fifteen-going-on-twenty-five year old daughter.

  He groans. “She’s grounded for the rest of her life.”

  “Take it easy on her, being a teenage girl is hard. Hell being a twenty-nine year old girl is hard.”

  He rolls his eyes but I see the understanding behind them. The eyes that tell me, he gets it. “You’re living breathing proof that tough times don’t last. Tough people do.” The words resonate with me and I find myself in his arms again. “I’ll be on the lookout for your ‘Save the Date.’”

  I gasp as I pull away from him. “John!”

  He raises an eyebrow at me. “Oh, I’m sorry, are we being diplomatic now?” He goes back to his seat and begins to pull out a folder assuredly for his next big case. “Go find that boy of yours and tell him the good news,” he says, putting on his glasses. “Go start the rest of your life, you deserve it.”

  I’m barely through Will’s front door before I’m sprinting, dropping my purse, kicking off my shoes, and tearing through the house, moving up the stairs two at a time. We had agreed that I would come back here after, Will having cleared his entire day so we could celebrate properly. I pass a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice as I make my way to his office. I open the door and his head snaps up, a smile crossing his face instantly.

  “You’re early,” he says getting up out of his seat and making his way across the room towards me. I take a few steps, closing the gap between him and then I’m in his arms my legs immediately wrapping around his waist. And I lose it. I’m squeezing him so hard, in hopes that he’ll tether me to the ground as the end of the storm finishes around me. I can barely hear his words over my sobs but I feel him stroking my back and the soothing sounds of his voice in my ear.

  “Will,” my voice breaks as I cry into his neck, “I’m…free,” I sniffle and I almost can’t breathe at how vulnerable I feel in this moment. Will is the only man I can show this to. The only one that I can let my guard completely down with and still feel safe, protected, loved.

  “How do you feel?” he asks in my ear. My cries settle slightly allowing me to hear his words.

  My face, still buried in his neck, my eyes still squeezed shut, I manage to choke out the only word I’ve been feeling since I’ve dotted the I in Pierce. “Relief,” I squeeze him tighter. “Don’t mistake my tears for anything else.”

  “I didn’t. This is normal.” I feel him move. I wonder where we are going but I don’t care. I’d go anywhere with this man. I feel him lower us, and then the plush couch underneath my shins allowing me to straddle him. I finally pull away from him allowing myself the first look at this gorgeous man since he scooped me into his arms.

  “I love you. Thank you…for everything,” I whisper. “You…saved me.”

  He smiles at me and I feel my heart skip a beat at how genuine it is. “Charley,” he whispers, rubbing a hand over my face as I wipe the tears from my eyes. �
�I am so proud of you. I might have thrown you the life raft, but you saved you. You got yourself out and you’ll be stronger for it,” he tells me.

  I giggle through my tears. “You’re shrinking me.”

  “Comes with being in love with a doctor,” he shrugs. “You’ll eventually get used to it.” He winks and it reminds me and it ignites something within.

  “Can’t wait.” I want him. Need him. Now.

  “I love you so much and I can’t wait to start our life together,” he cups my face and then his lips are on mine.

  I pull back, slightly, my lips still resting against his. “Do you want to go to your room and…start it?” I ask, knowing that Will and I both need to be as close as possible to each other. He picks me up and carries me to his bedroom, his lips never leaving mine once. His mouth is loving, worshipping. A kiss of a devoted man accepting me as I finally give my whole self to him. I thought I had given him everything already, but something about being completely free adds something to the kiss. Knowing I don’t have to look over my shoulder, that there’s no more lies, no more secrets, no more hiding. That we can have dinner tonight out in the open. It does something to me. And through that kiss I tell him.

  I’m yours. Completely. Always.

  Every part of me is officially yours. Even the ring finger on my left hand.

  I’m pulled from my slumber, when I feel lips trailing down my face. A lazy smile pulls at my mouth as my body recognizes his smell, his touch, and his kiss. His lips move from my face and find my neck, the bristles from his beard tickling the skin. His tongue follows the same trail, licking and sucking at the skin on my neck and collarbone. He stops his ministrations and when my eyes flutter open I see the most gorgeous blue eyes staring back at me. “What a way to wake up.”

  “I would get used to it because you’ll be waking up in my bed every day for the rest of your life.” I feel a flutter in both my heart and somewhere between my legs thinking about being in bed with this man every day for the rest of my life.

  I stretch my arms to the head of the bed, the sheet falling beneath my breasts and reminding me that the air is cool when my nipples pebble instantly. His eyes immediately dart to the exposed skin, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he watches the effects of the temperature on my body.

  I clench as I watch the pink muscle sweep back and forth across his mouth and despite the soreness between my legs, I want it again. I crave the delicious ache, and from the way he’s looking at me, he wants me again too.

  “I’ll never have my fill of you,” he murmurs as he flings the covers back and stares down at me, love, lust and admiration shooting out of his eyes. He lies between my legs wrapping his hands around my thighs and spreading them, exposing my bare sex to him. I expect for him to attack my pussy instantly, with the way he’s all but drooling at the sight, but his lips find my stomach instead. He rains gentle kisses all over the space just above my belly button, dipping his tongue in the tiny divot and part of me yearns for this feeling when my stomach is round and swollen with the life we create. He nips at the skin, before moving down further, running his tongue over the top of my mound.

  I whimper, as he spreads my lips. “Fuck me.”

  “I need a taste first.” He sucks my clit between his lips immediately, forgoing any of the foreplay of licking. He sucks harder, rolling the tiny bundle of nerves between his lips and grazing his teeth over the slick flesh.

  “Omigod!” I scream, my hands fly to his head, pushing him harder against me. “Holy fuck, I’m already close,” I tell him, my favorite feelings in the world slowly creeping into my senses.

  I see his tongue lapping at me, his eyes never leaving mine. I smell our arousals filling the room and I can almost taste the bittersweet flavors. I hear my moans, my whispers, my declarations of love, lust and passion. I hear his groans, as he feels my orgasm approaching.

  The feels. Oh God, the feelings that Will gives me as he pushes me closer to that sweet release. The climax that rips through me while he fucks me or fingers me or eats me. The tingles that start at the base of my spine are starting to build as I begin to move my hips in rhythm with his face. “Will!”

  “Fuck, you’re already there,” he groans. “Come on baby, come in my mouth so I can fuck you with my cock.” His fingers tighten around my thighs, his nails digging into the skin and there’s just enough pain, coinciding with a perfectly timed lick against my clit that pushes me over the edge.

  “Fuck, Will!” I moan, as my body shakes. The sobs wrack my body as I fall back onto the pillows.

  He climbs on top of me and slides his dick between the lips of my sex, my body still humming with the aftershocks of my orgasm. He wraps his arms around my back, tucking his face into my neck and sucking at the skin behind my ear. “Five months, and I’m still in awe watching you cum. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. You are so beautiful, Charlotte.”

  My hands fly to the back of his head, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck as my eyes begin to roll back in my head while he pounds into me mercilessly. My toes curl forward, my body already preparing itself for a second climax. “You always make me feel beautiful,” I reply, my eyes fluttering closed and letting the feelings of fullness take over my body as his thick cock thrusts in and out of me. The sounds of our lovemaking bounce off the walls of the quiet room, our bodies slick with sweat and arousals slapping together, and making the most sensual sounds. It doesn’t take long for both of us to find our releases, screaming the entire way down, him one beat after me as he shoots his seed deep inside of me.

  We make love for days, taking breaks to eat and a few moments of sleep before one of us would wake the other up desperate to feel the connection again. We live in our tiny bubble, completely ignoring the outside world except when we are forced to engage. It isn’t until Thursday, three days after my divorce was finalized, that I prepare to spend time away from Will, much to my reluctance.

  “Are you sure you can’t come with me?” I’m sitting on his bed next to an empty suitcase, my clothes strewn around the room from my very disorganized packing process. I had been planning to take a ‘Divorce-moon’ as I’ve so tactfully named it for weeks but what I hadn’t banked on was Will not joining me. He comes out of the closet, that he opened up to me and my overwhelming amount of clothes, as he ties a tie around his neck. Over the past month, I managed to get all of my clothes out of the house I shared with Matt. Most of them are still at Lauren’s, but there’s a good amount piling up in Will’s closet waiting to be moved to the house across town.

  “As much as I would love to, I do have some sessions today and tomorrow. And I don’t think you’re supposed to take your ‘Divorce-moon’ with your boyfriend.”

  “I mean, I guess not if I’m trying to find a nice rebound guy to mourn my marriage with while on my trip,” I say shooting him a wicked glare, and he’s on me instantly, pushing me onto my back.

  “Watch it.” I giggle, and he slides my hands above my head capturing them in his one hand and kisses me passionately. His tongue invades my mouth and I moan, relishing in the feeling of his tongue moving with mine.

  “Don’t leave,” I whimper when he pulls back and I sit up.

  “Baby I have to.”

  I pout, knowing that when he leaves I won’t see him for five straight days as I’m preparing to set out for Key West for some much needed rest and relaxation with Lauren. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Me too, Charley. But you’ll have fun with Lauren…” He shoots me a look. “But not too much. You need this. You need a vacation and I have to get things prepared for our move.” Truth is, I love how much Will wants to take care of me and look out for me. And I don’t mean financially. Will wants to be the sole person in charge of keeping me safe, something he promised he’d do for the rest of my life.

  “I can do that for us when I get back, Will. Just come with me.”

  “As much as I want to, you need this time by yourself for closure.” I’m about
to interject that I won’t be alone when he must sense what I’m going to say. “Lauren going with you is different.”

  I roll my eyes knowing that this man will probably spend the better part of the rest of our lives together being the logical voice of reason and the thought warms me despite how much I push back on it. “We will talk every day?”

  “Multiple times. Nothing will stop me from calling you,” he says, and I nod in agreement. “Send pictures. Preferably of you in this,” he grins, picking up one of the string suits I have out and he fingers the small fabric. He holds my yellow bikini in his fingers as he runs his finger along the crotch of my swimsuit devilishly. The gesture sends a surge through me and sparks a feeling in my core.

  I snatch the bathing suit from him, knowing he’s not going to try and fuck me before he leaves and I don’t need him touching any of my panties or other bathing suit bottoms. “Stop touching. You’re making me horny.” He shoots me a cocky grin before he pushes me gently on my back and rips the panties I’m wearing from my body instantly. “Hey!” I squeal, reaching for them as he pockets them in his pants. I reach for them and he puts an arm up effectively stopping me. “Are you sure you can’t have sex before you leave?”

  “I’m already late,” he chuckles and I wrap a leg around his body in response. I feel his hand making contact with my sex cupping me, possessively.

  “If you grind this on me I’m going to have to change,” he says stopping me from making contact with the crotch of his pants like I was attempting.

  “That’s not a bad idea. I love seeing you naked.”

  “Ditto,” he says flashing me his most breathtaking smile before pulling his t-shirt that I was wearing up around my waist so he’s greeted with a perfect glimpse of my glistening pussy. “I need a kiss to last me the next five days,” he says and before I can present my lips to him, he’s on his knees his mouth pressed against my sex. He takes one slow lick through my folds before he dives in.

 

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