Bittersweet Addiction

by Q. B. Tyler

  And the second…

  and third…

  and fourth…

  And now, the first time I’ve had a startling realization. I am in love with Charlotte Pierce.

  A smile crosses my lips as I face this epiphany, before everything comes crashing down when reality sets in.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Matt says as he enters the room and pulls the woman I love to her feet and presses a kiss to her cheek.

  “I thought you were looking at me weird that entire session,” she giggles as I kneel before her, pulling her panties down her legs. She looks down at me as they reach her feet and she steps out of them. I move up her body, sliding my hands up her silky smooth legs and over the curve of her ass to cup her cheeks. Her hands find my shoulders as she looks me square in the eye wondering what I’m going to do next.

  I brush my lips once against hers. “I knew then. I just…didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how I was going to handle counseling you…watching you with your husband. I actively tried to push the feelings to the side, ignore them. But they wouldn’t go away and then one day… I caught a look.” I smile as I recall the lustful gaze I saw in her eyes. “You say you always looked at me with stars in your eyes, but you must have hidden it well because I never got any indication that you might want me. And then one day…you did. I was calling you in for your solo session the next day. I didn’t even know what I was going to do then,” I tell her, as I begin to unbuckle my pants.

  “Tell me what you were thinking,” she whispers.

  “That I wasn’t sure if I could fuck you. What if you were interested but weren’t interested in going that far. What if I completely misread the signals? I could’ve been in a ton of trouble if I had read the situation wrong.”

  “Like we are now?” She opens her eyes and winces slightly.

  “Worth it. But no, it’s different. You could have sued for sexual harassment.”

  “I wouldn’t have,” she whispers. “Even if I didn’t want to go as far as we did. I wouldn’t have told anyone if you made a pass at me. I liked you too much.” She brushes her hand softly against my jaw and I push my head further into it letting her fingers stroke the bristles on my skin.

  I nod, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Not that it matters now. It all worked out in the end.”

  She nods, and in a moment, I see her wall moving back up slightly. “Is Dr. Norwood going to be a problem?”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “How?”

  “I’ll talk to my father, see what he can do.”

  “But won’t you have to tell them you slept with her?”

  “Do you have a better idea? They vote on my fate, Charley. And if she has a vote…or she’s in anyone’s ear…” I trail off. “I have a feeling this is going to be a pretty split case. One vote could tip the scales.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” she sighs as she pushes against my chest lightly, the sexy intimate moment we just had long forgotten. “I could have been better prepared. She wasn’t exactly neutral in there. I thought it was all in my head, but I knew she sounded like a jealous ex-girlfriend.” She shakes her head as she picks up her blouse and pulls it back on, the vulnerability she feels at being naked for this conversation evident by her body language.

  “Tell you what? I had no idea she’d be on this investigation. She’s not even on the board, but sometimes they bring in other doctors for this part. But hold on a second, what did she say to you?”

  “Nothing completely out of line, just some things that raised a flag, and now that I know that you fucked her, it all makes sense.”

  “Okay…Charley? Can you let this go? I have a fucking past, I’m sorry!”

  “Don’t be sorry.” She shrugs. “It just sucks that this person actually directly affects our relationship now.”

  “How?” I ask narrowing my eyes. “This investigation has nothing to do with you and me being together. We are together whether I get fried or I walk.” I know she’s jealous and upset but I’m getting tired of this little attitude of hers.

  Not everyone marries the first person they have sex with.

  “Oh? You don’t think that her telling me that maybe there was some overlap between me and another woman doesn’t directly affect me? You don’t think that her asking if I can totally trust you isn’t blaring in my head right now?” She puts a hand up. “I do trust you. I don’t think you’d ever cheat on me or…” She shakes her head. “No, I don’t. It doesn’t mean I wanted to hear it. Then to hear that you broke up with her because the excitement wore off? It’s like she knew exactly what to say to me.”

  “You know it’s more than that with us. We’ve been over this.”

  “I know, Will,” she snaps. “I’m fully aware. I’m just…struggling with my feelings a little bit, okay? Give me a fucking break.” She moves towards our bedroom, I think as a way to end the conversation but I’m not having it. I’m behind her instantly and stand in my doorframe as she moves around the room. Within moments, she’s in a pair of sweatpants and my Harvard t-shirt that she wears more than I do now. She brings it to her nose before a pout finds her face and she pulls it off immediately. “I need a different one. That smells too much like me.”

  I smile as I watch her rummage through one of my drawers and find another t-shirt. “I don’t know why you’re getting dressed, I’m just about to rip the clothes off of you,” I say moving towards her.

  She puts a hand up, stopping me from moving any closer. “No. We haven’t solved anything.”

  “What’s there to solve?”

  “These feelings are so fucking foreign,” she says sadly as she sits on the bed, her head in her hands. “I didn’t even care that Matt slept with Bree. I’d met his ex-girlfriend—granted he was only twenty-two when we met but…” She winces. “He was kind of a ho before he met me.” She chuckles. “And nothing ever bothered me.” She looks at me and the first thing that catches my attention is how bright her eyes are as the tears intensify the color. “I didn’t know that I was the jealous type.” She looks down and fidgets with her hands.

  “Hey,” I whisper against her skin, as I bring her face closer to mine. “It’s okay.”

  “You’re pissed at me.”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m not. I just don’t want you fixating on that.”

  “Did you have any serious relationships before me?”

  I let out a deep breath wondering why we can’t just drop this. “No, not really? I dated someone on and off all through college, but…it was college. She’s married now, I think. I don’t know.” I shrug and really, I don’t. We didn’t have some awful breakup, we just grew apart when we graduated. Truth was, I never felt as intense about anyone as Charlotte Pierce.

  The one woman I really should have left alone.

  “Charley, baby. I understand jealousy. I’ve always had a bit of a jealous streak. Of course, it got worse when I met you. But you know all about the issues in my family—with my brother. You know I’ve always been jealous of him. And that’s something I’ve dealt with all my life… even now. Although it’s not nearly as bad.” I narrow my eyes at her. “But with you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be in love with a woman you can’t touch? To be in love with a woman who has to sit in front of you three times a week with the man she actually does belong to? I was out of my mind with jealousy, Charley.”

  My mind floats back to one of the few times I saw him kiss her, one of the few times I saw them at least mildly affectionate. He tucked a hair behind her ear, she giggled, playfully smacked his arm and he kissed her. I watched this display for thirty seconds before I realized I was awkwardly standing in the entrance to my office staring at them. I faked a phone call and told them I needed a few minutes before proceeding to angrily pace the length of my office, trying to calm down.

  I hadn’t even touched her then.

  “Charley, he sent me a tape of you having sex,” I say, the anger coursing through my veins like it was just yester
day.

  Her hands find my face, breaking my thoughts. “I know,” she whispers. “I’m not blaming you…I’m just trying to process everything.” She licks her lips once and I wonder if she’ll let me touch her. I need her. She needs me.

  We need each other.

  “Charley,” I say as I run my hand up her arm and gently push her hair behind her back. Her skin is covered with goosebumps within seconds and I smirk, thinking about the effect I have on her.

  “Yes?” she asks, her resolve weakening by the second.

  I rest my chin on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her. “I’m sorry about Audrey,” I whisper.

  She nods and I take that to mean that she’s not so angry with me anymore. I move to trail kisses down her face, starting from her temple to her chin. She turns her head towards me, our faces an inch apart, our lips so close that I can taste her breath. She looks down at my mouth and before I can attach our lips she raises her arms slowly straight up over her head, indicating she wants me to undress her.

  I stand up in front of her and slide my shirt over her head. She leans back and stretches her legs towards me, wiggling her toes, and I smile. I reach for the waistband of her sweatpants and slide them slowly down her legs and toss them somewhere behind me.

  “Your body is perfect, Charlotte. You turn the heads of men everywhere and you think that doesn’t piss me off?”

  “But you’re the only man who can touch me,” she says, her teeth sinking into those pouty lips of hers.

  “Fucking right,” I say more aggressively than I intended and her eyes widen at my tone. I wonder if she thinks I’m mad at her when she speaks.

  “What do you want to do to me? What do you need me to do to show you that I’m yours?”

  A million things flash through my head all at once. Some sexual some not so sexual but all of them have my eyes zoning in on one appendage in particular.

  Her left ring finger.

  Her eyes follow mine and she looks up at me when she puts it together. “When?” she whispers as she lets her left hand trail down her body towards the place between her legs that is already showing signs of her arousal. Her left ring finger slides between her folds once and she moans. My dick reacts immediately.

  I’m completely dressed in the suit I wore earlier and I don’t think I have the brainpower to take my clothes off as I’m too preoccupied watching Charley touch herself with the finger that will soon house the ring I buy her. I don’t even realize what’s happening before I’m on my knees in front of her, my face an inch from her entrance watching her perfect fingers move in and out of her.

  I pull her hand from her and bring her fingers to my nose briefly, taking in her sweet scent before I slide her three fingers into my mouth, sucking her juices from them. I let my tongue linger over her ring finger much longer than the other two before I bite down gently. “Soon,” I tell her as I pull her from my mouth. My eyes trail up her body to her eyes and I raise an eyebrow at her before letting my eyes fall to her core, letting her know what I am going to do next. I open her folds, exposing her completely to me and I see her clench when the cool air hits her slick opening. Her clit is enlarged with arousal and I’m dying to take it into my mouth and suck, but I don’t want her coming so soon.

  “Will,” she whines, and when I look up she’s staring down at me through hooded eyes. “I need you.”

  “I know, baby. I need you too.”

  “Kiss me,” she whispers. “Please.” She throws her head back and sighs before looking down at me again. “You know you want to.”

  My gaze goes back to her opening. “Touch yourself.”

  “What?” she breathes out. I know you’re at the edge and you’re about to snap, but just play along, baby.

  “Touch yourself, I want an up close and personal show,” I say looking up at her from between her legs.

  “I want you to make me come.”

  “I will. Just start it. So, I can watch. I’ll take over soon.”

  I still have my fingers holding her open so when her hand slides down her body and joins my hands between her legs I almost lose it. I can feel the cum dripping out of me and into my shorts, some of it streaming down my shaft towards my balls. My dick is throbbing with how much it needs her pussy, and I wonder if I can come just by her throaty moans and the taste of her cum once my mouth hits her sex.

  “Fuck,” she moans as she begins to rub herself. Her fingers haven’t entered her wet channel, as they are focused strictly on her clit. I know it’s only a matter of time before she shatters. I push her hands away and replace them with my mouth. I swipe my tongue across that sensitive bundle and her hands find my head immediately, pushing me harder against her. My hands find her thighs, gripping them so hard, I wonder if I will leave bruises on her porcelain skin, but at the moment I’m too turned on to care. I lift them and slide them over my shoulders.

  “You’re my favorite taste. Nothing tastes like your cum, Charley.”

  “I’m going to…” she manages to get out before she cries out and the heels of her bare feet press hard into my back. “Oh God!” she screams as she shatters at the torturous assault of my lips wrapped around her clit, sucking her into my mouth. She sits up, her right hand winding in my hair and her left hand holding her up as she rides out the rest of her orgasm on my face. I can still feel her reeling underneath my tongue, as I swallow down everything her body has to offer.

  I groan when I feel her move her legs and pull me up her body, connecting her lips with mine. “Fuck me,” she moans as her hands unzip my pants and they fall down my legs.

  “Turn over,” I grit out, knowing that I’m seconds from exploding and I’m not taking the time to get undressed. I slide my underwear down slightly, leaving me still clothed with the exception of my dick which doesn’t want to wait another second.

  She does as I ask, getting on her hands and knees, sticking her ass out towards me, and giving me a cheeky grin. I press my face to her ass, sinking my teeth into her left cheek before running my tongue along my teeth marks. I move onto the bed behind her, and slam into her. She jolts forward, the frame of my bed hitting the wall with the force I’ve used to enter her.

  “Will!” she cries out and I wonder if she’s gearing up for another orgasm already.

  “Hold it,” I tell her. “Wait for me.”

  She nods as I begin to pound forcefully into her, my balls slapping against her pussy with each thrust. “Tell me you’ll never let anyone come between us,” She moans in response and I smack her behind to get her to focus. “Say it!” I demand as I tighten my grip on her hips.

  “Never! No one.”

  “It’s just you and me, Charley. Tell me you know that.”

  “I know!” she cries as her head drops to the mattress. “Will, I’m going to come again.”

  I smile knowing that I know how to make her come so easily. “Not yet.”

  She groans. “God dammit, Will. Get there! I know you need to cum.”

  “I’ve been ready to come since we got home, I’m trying to make it last,” I grit out.

  “Well, stop,” she growls and I feel her hands on my balls. I groan feeling her petite hand stroke them and when she squeezes, I hiss.

  “Charley!” I’m pounding into her at a relentless speed when I feel her clenching around me multiple times which only means one thing.

  “I’m coming, I can’t….” she whimpers and then she explodes around my cock. Her hands grip the sheets below her and she screams so loud I wonder if my neighbors heard her. “Oh God.” My orgasm follows a beat behind her, thankfully. I know she’s about to collapse after these two intense orgasms. “Come deep inside of me, Will. Give us what we both want.” The words send a shock through me hearing her voice her need for me to get her pregnant.

  “FUCK!” I cum with a roar, as the last thrust presses against her cervix and sends my seed deep inside of her.

  I’m leaning over her, my chest pressed against her back, my arms holding myself up so
I don’t put all my weight on the small woman underneath me. We are both breathing like we’ve run a marathon, when I place a kiss on her back and roll off of her, immediately bringing her to lie on top of me. My hands find her face and I kiss her mouth, her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids. Anywhere that my mouth can find.

  “I love you,” she tells me in between kisses. She kisses me one final time before her head finds my chest after the force of her orgasms having taken the last of her strength. I had never been one for cuddling after sex, but I find myself longing for these moments just as much. The period where there are no words exchanged.

  Just peace.

  Quiet.

  The only things I can hear are the sounds of her breathing and the beat of her heart. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head before I move slightly. She grips me tightly not wanting to move.

  “Just let me grab the blanket. You’re sweating and I don’t want you to get cold,” I whisper against her skin. I’ve barely had the blanket halfway up her back before I can feel her breathing even out indicating she’s asleep.

  I wake up to a dark room and I’m immediately on alert that I don’t feel Charley’s body on top of mine. I’m not wrapped around her like I usually am, so it’s safe to assume she’s not in bed with me. I sit up slightly and see that my bathroom light is on. I get up and make my way into the bathroom to find my fiancée, in my tub, submerged up to her neck with bubbles. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun, but a few errant curls have escaped, the tips grazing the bubbles.

  Her head turns to meet mine and she smiles.

  “I was hoping you’d join me soon.”

  I move towards her and sit on the edge of the tub. I lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead and put my hand on her cheek. “How are you feeling?” I ask her, wondering if the bath and the candles were to help calm her nerves.

  She shrugs. “I’m fine. The orgasms helped,” she says weakly.

  I narrow my eyes at her knowing that she’s still feeling something even if she doesn’t want to admit it or know what it is for that matter. “Can I join you?”