Locking the door behind her, she studied her reflection in the mirror. Small crinkles stretched from the corners of her eyes, her cheeks and nose peppered with light freckles. There was no doubt that she had aged since the last time Liam had seen her. Was it any wonder he didn’t speak to her when he’d entered her bakery earlier? She’d seen how beautiful the Englisch women looked with their makeup to hide the flaws, and eye powders that brought out the color in their eyes better. She looked plain and simple compared to the women that frequented her bakery. Why would Liam choose to stay true to her when he was handsome enough to get the attention of any of those women who were much more beautiful than she was?
Tears welled up in her eyes, bringing anger to her heart. So far she had refused the baptism, and it had caused a rift between her and her parents. They knew that the reasons for her rejection of the baptism and of the suitors who’d made their intentions known to her was because of her love for Liam. They hadn’t pushed her, for fear she would run off to find Liam. But she knew she couldn’t put it off much longer. She was nearly twenty-five years old, and it was only a matter of time before she would be expected to make the commitment or leave home. Unfortunately, she wasn’t prepared to do either at this time.
Turning on the faucet, Lucy dipped her hands in the cool water and splashed it on her heated cheeks. The next handful washed over her swollen eyes. A few more splashes and she would feel better—she hoped.
Looking at her reflection again, she pulled several paper towels from the holder on the wall next to her. As she wiped her face, she wondered if she could overlook such an offense. If Liam had betrayed her with another woman sometime in the past seven years, could she take him back? Was he capable of such an act of betrayal? He certainly hadn’t made any attempt to contact her. Perhaps he was perfectly happy in the Englisch world.
Chapter 19
Lucy finally left the restroom feeling more discouraged than when she’d gone in. Why had she refused her daed’s prompting to send her bruder to bring her home? Now she was stuck at the hospital, and would have to wrestle with her conflicting feelings in front of Nellie and Lydia. How could she go back into Liam’s room when he thought they were still in love? How could she continue to pretend that the last seven years apart had not occurred? If he had found love with another woman in that amount of time, he didn’t show it, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened.
Gott, please show me what to do. I don’t want to hurt Liam, but I don’t want to get hurt either. Please spare our hearts from being broken further from this mess. I love him, Gott, I do. But I don’t know if I could forgive him if he’s betrayed me with the love of another woman. Please bring this to light before my heart is invested too deeply in Liam again.
Outside of Liam’s room, Lucy heard a doctor trying to coax him into remembering the correct date. She felt bad for him as he struggled. Thankfully, the doctor didn’t confuse him further by revealing Liam’s mistake. Deciding it was best to leave Liam in the capable hands of the doctor, Lucy went back to the waiting room to wait for Nellie and Lydia. What could possibly be taking them so long to arrive? Perhaps Steve had a little trouble finding their farm.
Before she had too much time to think about it, the two women walked into the emergency room with Steve close behind them.
Nellie rushed to her side. “How is my buwe?”
Lucy’s throat constricted at the distress on Nellie’s face. “He’s awake, but he’s disoriented.”
Relief washed over Nellie’s face, and Lucy hated to give her worse news, but she figured it was better coming from her than from a stranger.
“Liam’s vision is a little blurry and he is having trouble with his memory. The doctor said it was usually temporary, but he has lost the last seven years. Liam thinks he’s still only seventeen—and he was asking for his daed.”
Nellie covered her mouth to stifle the sobs that tried to escape. Lucy placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but the woman drew strength back into her expression and raised her chin defiantly.
“Perhaps this is Gott’s way of giving us a second chance with him.”
Nellie was right.
This Liam loved her, and when he regained his memory, there was a gut possibility that he would retain that love in his heart for her. It was the second chance she’d asked for, and it was up to her to put the past behind them and leave it there.
Lydia stepped forward. “Where is he? I need to see mei bruder. The last two conversations I’ve had with him were not full of kind words, and I’d like to remedy that.”
Guilt had filled Lydia during the ride over to the hospital to the point she couldn’t even enjoy being pressed up against Steve in the cab of his truck. She’d wanted to savor the moment of closeness with Steve, but all she could think about were the harsh words she’d spoken to Liam.
Nellie walked over to an empty corner of the waiting room. “I need to sit for a moment before I go in and see him. You go ahead and visit with him, Lydia. I’ll be along after I gather my thoughts.”
Lydia and Steve followed Lucy through the double doors to where Liam rested.
Nellie sat down with a thud. She felt as though the wind had been stricken from her lungs. Memories of her husband’s accident rushed through her mind as she steadied herself on the waiting room chair. What had been seven long years ago seemed suddenly like it was only yesterday that she had sat in this very room while she waited to hear the news that her husband had not survived the accident. She hadn’t even had the chance to tell him goodbye.
Now as she contemplated the outcome of her son’s accident, she felt paralyzed with fear. How could she go in there and tell her son all over again that his daed was no longer with them? How could she break his heart like that a second time? The last time she’d told him he ran from her. Would he do the same thing all over again? They’d just found each other after being apart too long, and Nellie wasn’t willing to lose her son again so soon.
Gott, bless me with the words to tell my son that his daed is with you. Spare his heart from breaking, and give him the strength to endure this news a second time. Preserve my familye, and help us to use this trial to bring us closer together. Preserve Liam’s memories and return them to him so that he can be strong in your word. If this is your way of blessing us with a second chance to reconcile our familye, then guide us to use this opportunity wisely.
Nellie rose from the chair determined to take care of her son no matter what the outcome.
Chapter 20
Nellie stiffened her jaw and swallowed down her fear as she neared her son’s hospital room. She told herself as she set her gaze upon him that the important thing was that he was still with her. She had to hold onto that in order to get her through. She’d spoken to the doctor and knew what she was up against. She would do as he instructed and keep the news of his daed from him for the time-being. The doctor had stated that added stress could cause him to revert further into his past memories. She certainly didn’t want to be the cause of her son having a mental breakdown.
It wouldn’t be easy to keep the truth from Liam, but she had taken the time to put together a reasonable excuse for why her husband was not with her. She only hoped her son would accept it.
Nellie stood in the doorway of Liam’s room and took a deep breath, pasting a smile on her face. It didn’t matter that her son probably couldn’t see her smiling, but it helped to ease the pain in her aching heart. She was almost grateful that her son’s vision would be blurry for a while, as she worried he would be shocked at how much she had aged over the past seven years.
Stepping quietly into the room, she moved slowly toward Liam’s bedside. His ribs were bruised and his head was red and swollen near his hairline. The steady whirring sound from the oxygen that streamed into his nose through narrow tubing filled the room. Nellie hated awkward silence, and was grateful for the little bit of noise the oxygen provided. The room smelled strongly of disinfectant, and Nellie fought to keep her stomach from retc
hing. A monitor to the side of the bed beeped repetitiously with every beat of her son’s heart, and the sound was comforting to Nellie. It meant that her son was breathing and his heart was strong. Something she’d always taken for granted—until now.
Nellie lowered herself carefully into the chair beside the bed, trying not to intrude on her son’s slumber. She was content with watching him breathe, even though she was eager to see him awake. Her maternal instincts urged her to lift the covers over Liam to protect him from the chill in the room, but she opted not to disturb him.
Though he’d cut his thick blond hair short to mimic the styles of the Englisch, Nellie could still see the strong resemblance to his daed when she looked at Liam. She’d fallen in lieb with Liam’s daed because of the same rebellious streak she noted their son had inherited. How could she fault him for growing up to be so much like his daed? If not for his love for Nellie and his eagerness to marry her, her husband wouldn’t have taken the baptism either. Now she was left with his two kinner who had taken their daed’s rebellion a little too literally. Perhaps it was time she left the community and clung to her children. They were all she had left from her husband, and she didn’t want to lose them too. Surely Gott would forgive her as long as she held fast to her faith.
Nellie let her thoughts drift to the day Liam and Lydia were born. The pregnancy had been almost unbearable, and would have done her in if not for her husband doting on her the way he had. She remembered the proud look on her husband’s face when Liam was born first. She hadn’t been aware she was carrying twins, and had felt a little disappointment until she saw the admiration in his daed’s eyes. Then when the pains intensified once more, she feared something was wrong until the midwife had presented her with her dochder.
Then after, when they’d rushed her to the hospital after her uterine wall had ruptured, she nearly lost her life. Her husband was by her side the entire time, while her schweschder filled in as wet-nurse for her twins. She recalled how supportive her husband had been when he learned she could have no further kinner.
Their familye had survived many trials over the years, but the death of her husband had unraveled them. Now that is was up to her, she would weave her familye back together no matter how much work it presented. She would make certain her son knew how much she loved him, and how much he was wanted back home where he belonged.
Liam stirred, bringing Nellie out of her reverie.
“Mamm?”
It was a simple word, but it meant the world to her to hear that from his lips. It wasn’t the polite Ma’am that it had been only yesterday. Now it was the term of endearment she hadn’t heard from him for seven long years.
Nellie stood up, placing her hand protectively over her son’s.
“I’m here.”
A slight smile tipped the corners of his mouth.
“Where’s Lydia and Daed?”
Nellie’s lips narrowed as she swallowed hard. This was it. She was about to lie to her son. Before she could muster up the courage to speak the words, Liam drifted back to sleep. She breathed a heartfelt prayer of thanks that she didn’t have to say the words just yet. She knew it was only a matter of time before he woke fully and asked the question again. For now, she was in the clear.
Nellie slumped back down into the chair beside the bed, willing her heart to slow enough to catch her breath. Anxiety gripped her in a way it hadn’t since the death of her husband. She wasn’t ready to relive the painful memories she’d worked so hard to bury along with the mann she loved. If he were here with her now, he would provide her with the support she needed. For the first time since his death, she would have to rely on her own strength to get her through. It was times like this one that keeping her hands busy helped to quiet her mind. After her husband died, quilting had been the only thing to keep her idle hands from wringing with anxiety. Now, as she sat at her son’s bedside, she wished for a needle and quilt squares to keep her mind and hands too busy to let worry set in.
Chapter 21
Lydia squeezed into the middle of Steve’s truck once again, while Lucy sat in the passenger’s side. Mamm had told them to go home since Liam had been transferred to a private room and had not woken up even once. He didn’t even stir when the nurses had wrapped his cracked ribs. He’d groaned quite a bit, but not once did he open his eyes. The doctor told them it was normal for him to sleep a lot after what his body had been through, but the nurses continued to disturb him on the hour to be sure he wouldn’t slip into a coma.
On the ride to their farm, Lydia carried on nervous small talk with Lucy about shucking corn and shelling peas. They talked about the upcoming canning bee that the women of the community would begin soon. They even discussed the excitement over the quilt shop and the plans for it once the renovations were completed. Lydia kept the conversation going as much as she could to avoid thinking about Steve, who was pressed quite close to her in the small cab of his truck. She had become smitten with Steve the first time she’d met him, and she secretly hoped he liked her too.
Since Liam had left home, Lydia had not been afforded the opportunity to have a serious beau. She was always too busy doing Liam’s old chores along with her own, and most her mamm’s usual duties. She too was overworked and overtired most days to even think about having a beau. But now, as she snuggled close to Steve, she was all too aware of what she’d been missing out on when each of her friends had gotten married one-by-one. Lucy was the only friend she had left that was still single, and the two of them threw themselves into their work to avoid the obvious emptiness they each endured on a daily basis.
Lydia had advised Lucy many years ago to stop waiting for her bruder to return, but the poor thing hadn’t listened to her. Today, she saw the love in Lucy’s eyes when they were in Liam’s hospital room, and the light in her eyes had returned. Lucy had appeared happy, but Lydia could still see reservation in her expression. She imagined it had to have been tough for Lucy to pretend with Liam that they were still young, especially since that was the time in their lives when they were in love.
Chattering on, Lydia was grateful that Lucy was easy to talk to. Her bruder had been a fool to leave Lucy, but Lydia was content with their friendship. Their common bond had been their abandonment from Liam. It had in some ways brought them together as friends, but Lydia often wondered if their friendship was a bit strained by the pain Lucy felt in her presence at times.
Holidays had been especially difficult for all of them. When Lucy brought a gift for Lydia each year on her birthday, Lydia could tell that thoughts of Liam were in the back of Lucy’s mind. Lydia knew that whatever the outcome of this new set of circumstances, they would have each other to lean on if things became tough.
They both avoided the obvious during their chatter; neither of them wanted to admit that Liam’s memory lapse could actually be a blessing in disguise. Even Nellie had seemed a little curious to know how the situation could work in their favor. They were all eager to see Liam heal, but they also didn’t mind the possibility that this could bring the outcome they’d all hoped for along the past seven years.
Lucy shifted in her seat and leaned against the door of the truck, watching mindlessly as the landscaping coasted by in a blur of color. Barns blended with trees and cows seemed an extension of the earth. Was Lydia going to talk the entire way home? Lucy tried politely to tune out her nervous prattling, but the girl just kept engaging her in question after question. If she knew Lydia, she was using conversation to cover up something that was weighing on her mind. Lucy had her own issues she was trying not to think about, but it was no use trying to push them down because they seemed to repeatedly surface on their own.
Lucy let her mind drift to Liam, and wondered how long it would be before he realized he didn’t really love her anymore. No amount of pretending could make him love her if didn’t, especially if the memories he relied on were from a time when he did love her. Those old feelings might be better left in the past, but Lucy couldn’t push them down a
ny longer.
How could Liam forget that he wasn’t in love with her anymore? Was it possible that he’d never stopped loving her, and the accident had brought his feelings to the surface? The only question that still plagued Lucy was whether or not Liam had loved any other woman in the time they’d been apart. If he had, was there any real hope for them to reconcile? Was Lucy capable of forgiving such an offense, or would she spend the rest of their lives letting it eat away at her until she became so bitter that she could no longer love him? She prayed it wasn’t so.
Chapter 22
“At least let me send you home with a jar of my homemade apple butter.”
There was a gentle insistence in Lydia’s tone that Steve could not resist.
“That sounds wonderful, thank you. I’ll wait right here.”
Steve knew better than to accept the invite from Lydia for a glass of iced tea on the porch. So he sat in the truck and watched Lucy disappear into the cornfield that separated her farm from Lydia’s. Even though it was dusk, he could see that a wide trail had been left between the tall rows of corn. He guessed it was planted that way on purpose to allow passage between the two farms. It intrigued him how neighborly the Amish were. He’d lived that way growing up, being on a street where all the neighbors pitched in to help one another. He missed that now that he lived in the city.
Steve rolled down the window of his truck so he could listen to the crickets. The wind rustled the tassels on the corn stalks, bringing him out of his truck to get a better listen to the country sounds that captivated his attention. He was so absorbed in the charm of the land that he didn’t hear Lydia step out of the front door of the farm house. A light flickered to the side of him as Lydia lit the lantern on the small table on the porch. When she beckoned him onto the porch, he resisted only for a minute. His better judgment told him Liam wouldn’t approve, but Lydia’s eyes hypnotized his heart just long enough to reel him in. He sat in one of the wooden chairs separated by the table that housed the lantern and the tray of iced tea that Lydia had brought out for them to share.
The Quilter's Son: Book One: Liam's choice (An Amish Christian Romance) Page 6