by Devon, Eva
Slavery was an issue that would not be solved quickly because it made far too many people too much money, and powerful people did have trouble letting go of money. Just as most of the newly wealthy people in England had made their backs off of the misery in India, many of the men in England had made their backs off the misery of slaves from the continental trade.
Still, it was a noble endeavor, and he was going to continue working at it.
He did not wish such people to be unsafe in the streets around Covenant Garden. Perhaps it was an illusion, that he thought he might be able to control such things, but he would continue to try.
Drake leaned back over the piano bench. “How is it possible that all of us are married but you, Heath?”
Heath tensed. “I beg your pardon?”
“All of us are married men now. You are the only one left standing among us, who is a bachelor. Surely, there’s someone we could find for you.”
The rest of the men laughed and applauded.
“Indeed, indeed, there’s no happiness like a married man,” cheered Harley.
“Just wait,” Heath said because he knew it was what he had to say. “Once all of you have settled down to married life and found a sense of normalcy, you shall be crowing for your freedom again.”
“Never,” declared Royland. “I have not known such a joy since finding my wife.”
Blackstone nodded. “Indeed. I had no idea that marriage could bring me such happiness.” He folded his arms across his chest. “What kind of woman would suit you, Heath?”
Heath frowned.
Had Drake done this on purpose?
He eyed Drake, who was smiling and seemed to be controlling a laugh.
Yes, Drake had, which made him devilishly concerned that Drake did indeed have a good inkling that Mary and he were, at the very least, lovers.
“Oh, marriage is not a topic I wish to discuss,” Heath said.
“Ah, that’s because you’re an old bachelor,” pronounced the Duke of Royland. “Surely, we can see you on the path to matrimony. A man like you, you’d benefit from it. All you need is a bit of a comforting hand, and I think that scowl you wear every day would soon be off your features.”
Heath held up his hands. “Have done. Have done. When married men begin to proclaim all men should be happily married, all a man like me can do is nod in agreement.”
It wasn’t a direct lie.
“So you’ll give in, then? We can find you someone?” Raventon asked.
The Duke of Drake cocked his head to the side. “I think Heath has already found someone. He has the look of a lovesick fool.”
He shot Drake a dagger-warning of a stare.
“Is it true?” Blackstone let out a sound of delight. “Glad to hear it, old boy. Glad to hear about it. Tell us who she is, and then we’ll have the wives invite her around to tea. Surely, we can introduce her to society.”
Introduce her to society.
What would they all do if he told them she was of society? “I have found a superior woman. There is no question,” Heath said.
“Marvelous. When will the bells chime?” Blackstone asked. “You’ll invite us all, shan’t you?”
“No,” Heath said. “I think I shall keep it a private affair.”
“But we are your friends,” protested Harley. “Surely, you wish to be surrounded by your friends at such a time.”
Did he? And would they still be his friends if they knew?
He had a sneaking doubt that they might all turn on him and beat him into a pulp in this room instead of welcoming him.
He had, after all, betrayed them.
It was a sickening feeling, but at this particular point, he knew he had to protect the relationship he and Mary had together.
Instead, he smiled. “I thank you for your concern, and when the time comes, and it’s right to tell you, I shall tell you all. I promise you that, and we shall see what you say then.”
“We shall welcome her with open arms,” said the Duke of Blackstone. “And we shall wish you joy.”
Heath stared at his brother-in-law, who had no idea that they were now brothers by marriage, and wondered. Likely, he was going to have to endure a good beating, and then perhaps they’d be able to be at peace together.
He wasn’t looking forward to it, but it was the way it had to be just now. He hoped Blackstone would be able to accept him.
Blackstone seemed to accept so many people.
But this? This was different, and there would be no getting around that.
As he sat in the room, surrounded by dukes, men who had no idea he had betrayed their trust, he wondered what the devil sort of fool he’d been in the early morning light to agree to a clandestine marriage. He knew they had to protect what they had, but right now, he was wondering if he’d made a devil’s bargain, and if he or the devil would win.
Chapter 20
Mary poured over the news sheets that were brought to the breakfast room every morning, pressed to perfection.
A most unbecoming thing for a young lady.
Still, it was one of the best things for her, keeping her brain distracted from her general troubles.
Marriage should have brought her only happiness. Marriage to Heath certainly had bought her hours and hours of joy, but that general joy had slipped away as the chafing nature of her deceit took part. She studied the headlines, wondering about the prices of corn, wondering how the people in the country were going to make do in such times, seeing that war was coming again.
“My God, you look pensive.”
She nearly jumped, her teacup clattering in its saucer.
“Robert!” she exclaimed.
“Sister mine,” he announced, his handsome face, a male version of her own, quite delighted. He plunked a kiss on her cheek. “You needn’t act so surprised. This is my home, after all.”
“Yes, but you’ve been away a good deal with your lovely new wife,” she pointed out, her throat drying.
She took a quick, unladylike swig of coffee in the hopes of taking care of its suddenly parched state.
“So I have,” he observed. “It’s done me wonders, but you look most serious. Someone giving you trouble?”
Robert studied her carefully as he sat down and poured himself a cup of tea.
Robert was not a fool. If she was not careful, those eyes of his might surmise more than she was prepared to admit.
“Oh, no. Oh, no,” she rushed, forcing a smile. “Just the general concerns of society.”
Robert cocked his dark head to the side, his locks falling boyishly. “I don’t believe you for a moment, you know. You were never terribly good at telling falsehoods.”
Oh, if he only knew, she’d become a master at it.
“Tell me,” he urged, leaning back in the straight-back Allen chair. “Unburden yourself.”
Why was everyone suggesting she unburden herself to them?
Was it so obvious she had some secret?
Apparently, it was.
She willed herself still, widened her eyes, and said, “I have no need to unburden myself.”
A lie.
Another lie.
She’d piled lies up like coal in a bin, ready to be set ablaze.
Robert sighed his resignation. “Well, if you insist on not telling me, I won’t press, but,” he narrowed his eyes, “is it some man? Some bounder? Do I need to go and bedevil someone?”
“No,” she piped quickly, her voice nearly an octave higher. “Absolutely not. You needn’t bedevil anyone.”
“But it is a man,” he said with an arched brow.
“Robert,” she said with as much dignity as she could portray. “We do not need to discuss this.”
“Are you certain?” he asked, his eyes returning to their former shadowed orbs for just a moment. “I can help you, you know. I am your brother. That’s what I’m here for.”
Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest.
Now was the time.
Now wa
s the time to tell him she was married to his friend, that it had been a reckless decision and that she loved Heath very, very much.
But still, she could not wrench the words from her lips.
Her inability was going to ruin everything.
But her growing terror that her family would never understand nor forgive was expanding apace.
“Mary,” Robert assured. “You know I love you.”
She gave a nod. “I know it, Robert.”
“So,” he said, his cravat pin winking in the morning sun as he turned towards her. “When you’re ready to tell me whatever is in your head, you must do it. And I shall listen to you. I promise. I shan’t run off headlong, doing some stupid thing. I’ve seen the effects of that with my friend Harley. Off he went, rushed by fury, not listening to his sister. . . And he would have beat me black and blue. I’ve learned that lesson. Thanks to him.”
She gazed at Robert.
This really was the moment when she should tell him.
“Robert, I think I’ve done something you won’t like at all.”
He paused. “Indeed?”
“What if I married someone you would not approve of?”
He set down his teacup carefully. “If you married someone I did not approve of, well,” he said slowly, bracing his forearm on the table, “I would have to take it into careful consideration. I would have to interview the fellow and decide if he could make you happy. And if he could not, well, then, I’d have to have another very serious conversation with you about my concerns. I cannot stop you, Mary, because you are a free young woman. But if I think the man is a bounder, I will make it absolutely clear I do not approve. And though I will support you and do whatever I can to help you, if he is a bad lot, he will not be welcome in our family.”
She swallowed. There it was.
“Mary,” he prompted gently. “Have you fallen in love? If it is such a scandalous fellow, perhaps it is just a passing fantasy.” He hesitated then said, “Would you like to tell me more about it?”
She shook her head.
“You know I will do my best to just listen to you,” he said softly, reaching out and taking her hand in his. “It is not an easy thing for a brother to do, but I will.”
She swallowed, slipped her hand away, then hastily drank her coffee.
She made a good show of buttering her toast, trying to divert him away from the topic, but he did not seem to wish to let it go.
“Mary,” he warned. “You know the way things went for our father, for our brother. They made very poor choices in this life, and it did not go well for them. And I cannot condone you making similar ones. I will not see you miserable.”
How could she explain that Heath was the last person to make her miserable? But to her brother, Heath was likely the worst sort of man, a man who had facilitated their father’s and their brother’s descent.
“I understand,” she said simply. “I won’t make a poor choice,” she promised.
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” The shadows across his face eased ever so slightly. “I don’t think Mother can survive another thing like that.”
She nodded, hiding her wince.
What had she done?
All of this would have been so much easier if she. . .
Well, there was no point thinking about the past.
“Now, Robert,” she managed to say, all the while her heart ached, ached with a pain so intense she thought she might break. “You must tell me about all the things that you’ve been doing. That will be a much happier subject.”
“Mary, your marriage and your love should be a happy subject. If it is not, we must worry very much, indeed.”
She gave a tight nod, but she did not wish to discuss it any longer. So, she went back to studying the headlines of the newspaper, deliberately avoiding his stare, deliberately avoiding the questions he had, and deliberately avoiding the truth because she had no idea how to tell it without causing damage and rupture to her family at present.
She would find a way.
She knew she would.
It had to be done. And yet she felt completely lost.
Chapter 21
The comings and goings of everyday life continued. Mary and Heath lived in stolen moments. She’d never known anything so exciting and so strange.
Mary gazed out her bedroom window.
She looked at the tree that had become her dearest friend.
Who would have thought that, at such a stage, she’d learn to climb trees or, better yet, descend them? She supposed she could have tried sneaking down, out the corridor, along the back servants’ stairs, and hope to meet no one as she escaped out of the London townhouse to Heath’s club, but she’d chosen the path of adventure, and adventure dictated that descending the tree was far more fun.
When she grasped hold of the limb, her skirt tied up about her waist, pulled herself out of her window, and shimmied down, she laughed to herself. It was like having a glorious adventure every night.
Her mother had no clue where she was going. Perhaps it was terribly cruel and irresponsible, but she still had not yet discovered a way to tell her that she did not go to the great printing presses at Fleet Street during the day, or confess that at night, she was not at home. No, she was going off to be with her husband.
She hit the ground and looked both ways in the dark.
She scurried out to the waiting hackney cab just a few hundred feet away, climbed in, and with bated breath, set out in the darkness.
So much had occurred over the months, she could barely countenance it.
So many friends had married.
So many things had changed.
Her mother had grown in confidence and happiness, and so had she, but with each day, she knew she was going to have to confess to her family. At some point, the secret would no longer be one of joy, but one of difficulty.
Even so, she held onto this moment as she raced towards the East End.
There was poverty and danger where she was headed, all of those things, but she admired Heath for all he did to try to combat it. She too had begun to lend her skills to those causes in any way she could.
She held her hands in her lap, staring out the window, amazed by the life of London. The world had become more vivid, more alive, in her marriage, and she savored every moment.
Perhaps it was the fact that she had a secret she could hold to her heart, something that was hers entirely, something to protect: a love that was so full. Perhaps that’s what made everything more glorious.
She thought of her brother, who was seldom at home now and happy in his marriage. She thought of the Duke of Drake, who too had found love at last. She thought of Heath, who was always a mystery, even though she was married to him. She wondered if he would ever fully be known to her or even if she could be fully known to him.
It was such a silly, philosophical question, she supposed.
All that mattered was that they were together.
When the hackney cab finally rolled up to the club and she stepped down, a footman was waiting for her to escort her in. She passed through the gambling club, paying no attention to those who were still happily throwing away their money and their lives. She crossed over to the corridor and into the dark hall where Alice was waiting for her, as she did every night.
Alice met her with a quick curtsy and friendly nod as she took Mary’s things. Over the months, Alice had grown in strength and confidence. Mary’s astonishment at Alice’s story had quickly died when she realized that half of the people working the club had been saved from the streets, just like the young mob-capped woman before her, by Heath.
“He’ll meet you upstairs, Lady Mary,” Alice said with her soft but East End voice.
“Thank you,” Mary replied, eager to be with her husband. With a smile at the young woman, she headed up toward the winding stairs and into Heath’s rooms.
They had become her second home, and she loved them. She stopped, letting her fingers trail over his books.
It had been an amazing thing to her, to learn that he loved reading so very much.
“Hello, wife,” Heath said from behind her, and she turned.
“You’re here already,” she exclaimed happily. “I thought you would be downstairs for quite some time.”
“How could I not come when I know that you are here,” he said.
She smiled at him, and wordlessly, he went to the books she had just been touching, slipped a slim volume off the shelf, and turned to a page. He began to read. She loved it when he read to her, and he read to her every night, poems that had struck his fancy, various snippets of novels that had moved him. Tonight was no different. He was a man of such depth, of such powerful feeling, and she felt completely safe in his company, cocooned in his love and in his interest in the world.
He closed the volume slowly. “I think we’re going to have to confess, don’t you?”
She bit down on her lower lip. Then she asked, “Must we?”
“It’s going to grow harder and harder for me to see your brother and not tell him. I think the longer we wait, the more he’ll want to murder me.”
She laughed though she felt no humor. “I’m sure you’re right. I just don’t know how, now that we’ve gone so far.”
“Are you ashamed of me?” he asked suddenly.
“No,” she exclaimed. “I would never be. I just know that they will have difficulty understanding.”
He nodded. “Of course.” But she felt a sudden subtleness between them, one that had not been there before.
“Are you angry with me?” she asked.
“How can I be angry with you when this was all my idea?”
She smiled though she still felt something, some unsettling change. She went to him and lifted her hand to his face and caressed his cheek. “I am so grateful to have you in my life.”
He nodded, but there was a vacancy in his eyes, and she realized he could no longer bear to live in secret, that the secret they were holding was no longer exciting to him.
He wanted her to declare them to the world. Could she? Was she ready? She swallowed back her fear.