As Billy and Sonia were starting their second cup of tea, Kate did finally come downstairs, wrapped in her dressing gown and yawning.
“Billy?” She looked from her brother’s frowning face to Sonia’s worried look. “What’s going on? Has something happened?”
She had been working at the club all evening, and hadn’t got home until after three; she would have still been in bed but she had heard her brother’s voice and had come down to see what this unexpected visit was all about. He had bags under his eyes and a frown so deep across his forehead it looked like a scar. Worried, she looked at Sonia, who was looking into her tea as she stirred it. Billy should be the one to tell the poor girl, she wasn’t getting involved; not until she was needed, that was.
Pulling a chair out for Kate, Billy told her to sit down. At first, he didn’t really know where to start, there was so much filth and dirt and lies. Then it all just came out, everything he knew. He told her about Jay’s dad and what he had seen all those years ago, when he was just a boy. He told Kate how he had caught Jay coming out of his and Tanya’s house and that he had followed him. He had done this for a few days and one flat in particular that he kept being led back to was Emma’s. He told Kate how he gone to Emma’s flat on his own, to find out what was going on, and what he had seen there.
He gave Kate the letter that was addressed to her, which he had taken the night he had found Emma trying to hang herself. He tried to hold himself together, as he watched the tears roll down Kate’s cheeks as she read it.
“Where is she?” she sobbed, as she put the letter back into the envelope.
“She’s in hospital, Kate; she’s going to be okay, but she’s in a state right now. She’s been there for ten days now. I would have told you sooner, but she wasn’t strong enough. The doctors wouldn’t have let you in anyway, not until she was over the worst.” He touched her hand across the table.
“She is asking for you now, though, and she really needs you, Kate.”
“I just can’t believe that Jay would do this, I don’t get it; I feel like I’m missing something here.” It was all too much to take in, she had had an inkling that Jay was up to no good and she had decided to ignore it rather than question it, but this… this was unforgivable. Getting her priorities straight, Kate added: “Can you take me to see her?”
“Yeah, of course I can, go and get dressed, love, and we’ll go now.”
As she left the room, Kate looked like she had had the wind knocked right out of her.
“What do you think will happen to Jay now, Billy?” Sonia asked.
“My bet is he will try and come back here, Sonia, and knowing him, if you don’t let him in, he will try and force his way in.”
Sonia knew Billy was right. Jay would always do whatever he was told not to, a trait he had had from when he was a boy. Seeing the anguished look on Sonia’s face and as if reading her mind, Billy reassured her:
“Ryan’s on his way over, he’s going to be staying here with you for a few days, just until Jay gets the message, okay?”
“Okay.” Right now, Jay wasn’t on her mind; her only thoughts were of Kate: that poor, poor girl, how did she ever go falling for someone like Jay? Right now, more than anything in the world, Sonia would have swapped a million Jays for one Kate. She had grown to love the girl like her own, and hoped that after all this was over Kate and she would remain close friends. Sonia would be there for Kate, no matter what.
32
As he put Tanya’s heavy suitcase down in the hallway of Emma’s flat, he wished he had been given more notice before he had brought her here. She had been crying her eyes out when she first got in the car, but Jay soon realised they were tears of pure anger. Tanya was angry about the fact she had had to leave her home. In fact, she was seething.
Jay was pleased that when the shit hit the fan, Tanya didn’t have any love for Billy, he had never been really sure of her feelings for him until now. Some birds would say anything to get one over on their old man, especially if they were after money or a bunk up. He had heard every line possible in the past from every bird he had known. But Tanya was different. She was high maintenance, that was true, but most women were these days, they wanted everything they were entitled to and then some more. He loved the way that Tanya wouldn’t take any shit; he could see how angry she was, and he had no doubt that she would get her own back on Billy for the way he had treated her.
There was something else he felt too; something he couldn’t put his finger on. He had never been in love, so he was sure that it wasn’t that. But he did feel something: some sort of need for her. He thought about her all the time that he was away from her; he couldn’t get enough of her smell, her taste, or the way she was in bed with him. He could tell that she was a bit damaged, though, like himself, she had her issues. He could see that she had that strength inside her, like he had, no one fucked with her; that’s why he felt he knew her so well: she was the same as him.
Emma’s place was a shithole, and the stench that had hit him as he opened the door nearly made him gag. The curtains were shut, and there obviously hadn’t been a window opened for months as the air was stale. Emma was a filthy bitch, and getting her to tidy up every now and again was too much for her by the looks of it. The smell and mess didn’t bothered him normally, it was only now as he looked around and saw the flies buzzing around the sink, which was overflowing with dishes covered with dried-on food, and the fag ash all over the carpet, that he realised how filthy the place actually was.
Seeing Tanya’s disappointed face and knowing that she deserved better, and that she clearly thought she did too, he decided that he would take her out for something to eat, and get that trampy cow to clean while they were gone.
“Hang on here a minute, babe,” he said, leaving Tanya in the grubby hallway, obviously unaware that under no circumstances did she have any intention of stepping another foot forward in this stinking pigsty. She was desperately trying to hold her breath, and only took short breaths through her mouth when she had to. Tanya convinced herself that she was only here because she had nowhere else to go, and she was desperate. Looking at the dirty, stained carpet and the mould growing up the wall, she tried not to start crying again at the realisation of how bloody desperate things were for her now.
Billy would not take her back; she knew that for a fact. He had always said that if she ever cheated she was gone and picking his arch-rival would have just about put the final, rusty nail in the coffin. She had lost it all. Her beautiful house, her designer clothes: everything. She knew she hadn’t been happy with Billy for a long time, but her things meant more to her than anything, and she had plodded on in the comfort that at least she would always have a roof over her head. Now her roof was over some little slag’s head. Tanya fought to hold back her tears as she thought of that scrubber in her bed, under her Egyptian cotton sheets, using her Jo Malone toiletries; it made her blood boil.
Jay must be rolling in cash, she thought, although looking about it didn’t seem like it. Tanya was far from stupid; even though he had never discussed his business dealings with her she had an idea what he was involved in. He would be making a fortune with the drugs side alone, and then there were the debt collecting and the girls. Tanya had made it her business to know what she was getting into. It hadn’t made her judge him; at the end of the day, Billy was dodgy, but she had realised early on that Jay must be making some serious wedge, although judging by this dive the question was: where was he hiding it? He lived at home with his bleeding mother, for God’s sake; from what she could work out, he had plenty of incomings and fuck all outgoings. Tanya was a cold-hearted bitch: she knew that more than anyone. Money made the world go round; if someone had no money, they were nothing: simple as. Tanya was surprised at the feelings she had begun to have for Jay. She normally went for men with a hard reputation, someone who had all the pieces on the board and who knew how to play the game. At first she had loved having Jay at her beck and call, loved having him com
e over and fuck her as soon as Billy was out of the house, on the floor that Billy had paid for. He was her bit of rough. She had had her most intense orgasms with Jay grinding on top of her, thinking about Billy catching her.
Something had changed, though, and it had shocked her when she realised it wasn’t all about getting back at Billy for not being the man she had wanted him to be and for not giving her the attention she needed; she realised that she liked Jay, and that they could go far together. Jay didn’t have the clout but she reckoned with a bit of guidance from her they could be good together, make real money. Tanya had seen enough of Billy’s business dealings to recognise that it wasn’t what you knew, it was who.
Opening Emma’s bedroom door, Jay was surprised to realise that she wasn’t at home. The last few times that he had been back to collect his money the place had been empty too, although it didn’t look as though anything had been touched and he didn’t think she would have the balls to do a runner, so she couldn’t have gone far. He was starting to get a bit pissed off now though, and if it wasn’t for Tanya standing in the hallway, he would probably have gone looking for her. Thinking that Emma had probably nipped out for some gear, and was probably doing God knows what to pay for it; he tried to put her out of his mind. She didn’t have any friends anymore; he had seen to that; her confidence was at an all-time low, too, so she wouldn’t speak to anyone even if she did bump into them. He would have to take Tanya to the cafe in the high street and then come back and clean the mess up: he would fucking kill Emma when she finally turned up. Tanya would not be happy about staying there, full stop, but it was all he could do for now. He would have to stop Emma’s visitors for the time being for the few days that Tanya was there. His mind was in a whirl, there were so many things all at once to think about. He wondered what was going on: did Billy know that Tanya had been with him? Did Kate know, too? What would happen to his work for Billy? There were too many questions in around his head. He decided to call Kate. Her phone was diverted to her answerphone; he figured she was probably still in bed.
“Hurry up, for fuck’s sake, Jay,” Tanya called, getting seriously impatient.
“I’m here, babe,” he said; returning to her side and then picking up his keys, he put his arm around her shoulder.
“You can’t stay here, Tan, it ain’t right. I’m going to book you into a hotel.” He decided that her staying here with Emma would be more hassle than it was worth.
“Thank fucking God for that,” Tanya almost smiled, “for a moment there, I thought you were going to make me stay here with the vomit stains and the cockroaches.”
Picking up her bag from the hallway, he trudged behind her out to the car.
“There’s a little hotel on the edge of town; a right little posh place it is; I’ll stay there,’ she said. “Think they have a spa, too, and I could do with a nice massage, my neck’s frigging killing me.”
Jay wasn’t really listening; he was too worried about what to do next. Best thing to do was act normal, he thought; Billy might not know that it was him screwing around with Tanya. For all he knew he was worrying about nothing. He decided that as soon as he had dropped Tanya off at the hotel he would go home, and see what the situation was: surely if Billy was onto him, Jay would have been the first to know. Tanya had said that Billy had brought that bird from the club home, so that had to be it, as simple as that: Billy had traded Tanya in for a younger model. Chucking Tanya’s case in the boot he felt calmer: yeah, things would be fine, he was sure. Opening the passenger door of his beamer for Tanya he grinned and winked.
“Your chariot awaits, madam.”
33
Emma was a ghost of the girl she had been, seriously underweight, her once full chest now shrunken to nothing and her ribs visible through her nightshirt. She had endured so much for the past ten days and felt exhausted. The hospital had kept her in and helped to wean her off her drug addiction, she had been hallucinating badly for the first few days, and at times she had felt so disorientated she had imagined she was back in the flat with Jay. Thankfully the side effects were dying down, but she felt drained and tired all the time. The doctors had recommended medication to ease the symptoms of going ‘cold turkey’, but she had refused; she was determined to beat this herself.
The last six months of her life had become a blur and the bits she could remember were so horrible and dirty she didn’t even want to remember them. She felt so ashamed by what she had become. Emma understood that Jay had done a lot of it, but she also understood how she had caused it to happen too. She had let him worm his way in, behind her friend’s back, and she had put him above Kate, her best friend, and she had got what she deserved and more in the process.
Emma had never felt as happy as she had when she had seen Kate come into her hospital room that morning. She knew that she didn’t deserve her friend’s kindness after betraying her. She had been stupid. They had spent the last hour talking, crying and apologising. Kate had hugged Emma and promised her that from now on she would be looking after her. Emma had been worried about what Jay would say when he found out that she was in hospital and that Billy had helped her, but Billy was adamant that she shouldn’t worry and that he was sorting him out, and even though she was frightened she hoped he was right.
Kate had had no idea of what had been going on; even Billy’s words before he had brought her here were hard to take in. It was like he had been talking about a complete stranger, as if he had made an awful mistake. Seeing Emma was the only thing that had helped the reality to sink in.
Jay had done this: to Emma? He was an animal. Kate couldn’t understand how he could do this to somebody; obviously his motive was money but surely there were other ways to earn it? She was in shock and felt as if she were going to pass out all the time, but looking at her brave friend in front of her, she knew that if Emma could come out of this the other end then she could. She would be strong, for Emma; she owed her that.
Emma had been kept in for ten days, apparently that period was the worst for coming off drugs and she had been given round-the-clock care and regular counselling. After speaking to Billy and Kate, and advising them on the tough few weeks ahead of them, the doctors agreed that Emma could be discharged as an outpatient, but that she was to keep up with her counselling on a regular basis.
Leaving Emma to finish sorting out the paperwork with her case worker, Kate went out into the corridor, where Billy was waiting.
“You okay, babe?” Billy’s concern was clear in his voice.
“Yeah, thanks, I guess I’m just in a bit of shock, that’s all.” Kate didn’t know what to make of the whole thing. Jay was a monster. How could she have thought she loved him? How could she have let herself get pregnant by him? Her poor friend had been subjected to the sickest acts imaginable and would probably never get over them; Emma had been brought so low by Jay that she had tried to kill herself. Kate’s guilt of not being there for her was overwhelming; a whole six months of being angry with Emma and cutting her off because of her weird behaviour, and her friend had needed her. Kate was determined not to cry, though: not here, not yet. “I don’t know what to do, Billy, I can’t go back to Jay’s, I know Sonia said she wouldn’t be letting him back in, but it just doesn’t feel right going back there.”
“Don’t go worrying about Sonia. Ryan’s going to be staying there for a bit, so she’ll be looked after. Why don’t you stay at my house; Tanya’s gone, so why don’t you and Emma have it?”
Kate knew that Sonia would be safe from Jay’s torment with Ryan there; he was not a nice piece of work, and she knew that if he was on your side then you were safe as houses. As much as Kate loved Sonia, she knew she couldn’t go back there, it had been her and Jay’s place too and with the memories and all his stuff everywhere, it would just be too hard. Besides from now on she was going to be taking care of Emma, being the friend that she should have been all along. Moving into a place where Jay could turn up at any minute wouldn’t be wise. Billy’s flat would be pe
rfect; she and Emma could move in and start again. Emma would need as much support as possible; everyone, including the doctors, couldn’t believe how strongly she was fighting her addiction, they had never seen such determination; yet they had warned Kate that she could relapse, so she was going to keep a close eye on her. The flat would be perfect.
Thanking Billy and giving him a hug she looked up at him tenderly. “You’re a great brother, Billy. I’m sorry I let him get in between us, between all of us, I truly am.”
Billy shushed her, not wanting to hear another word; he was just glad she had finally seen what Jay was capable of and hoped that she would now move on and be free of him once and for all.
“Let’s go back in and let Emma know the good news, bet she’ll be over the moon at having you as a flatmate,” he smiled.
Back in the room Emma was delighted, she had been so worried at the thought of having to go back and live with her parents, but this would be perfect. She knew that she would have to tell her parents the truth at some point but she decided that she wanted to be a little stronger in her head when she did. Billy had lied to the staff at the hospital when he had bought her in, he had told them that he was her brother, her next of kin. She was thankful for that, as she couldn’t bear the thought of her parents seeing her here like this. She was so glad that Kate was here, she really needed her friend more than anything or anyone else at the moment. She just wanted to get her life back again: be normal and do normal things. Right now the thought of a hot bath and dinner in front of the telly with her mate seemed like absolute heaven.
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