Emma couldn’t help but think that if Kate actually filmed herself when she spoke about this guy she would realise how her eyes lit up, that she was smiling and glowing. There were definitely some feelings there, but knowing Kate, it was far too soon to push it, especially after everything that had happened with Jay. As much of a shit that man was, Kate had loved him, although now Kate questioned how she ever had, now realising that she knew nothing about the real Jay Shaw. Kate needed time to get over that relationship.
Hearing the doorbell ring, Kate jumped off the sofa, placing her hand on her friend’s shoulder as she went to open the door, she whispered,
“Just be honest with them: remember they love you and they are here to help.”
Kate opened the door to Emma’s parents. She had rung them earlier and told them that Emma needed to see them urgently; she had warned them that what they would hear would not be easy to take in and they had sounded worried, although thankfully they had not questioned her any further. Emma sat nervously in the lounge, bracing herself for a very long, painful evening.
36
“What the fuck do you mean: you’re over?”
Tanya rubbed her temples; she felt her headache returning. She had had the most heavenly massage and had finally started to feel more chilled; at least her shoulders were no longer up round her ears with the stress of everything: and now this. If only she hadn’t been so quick to come back to her room, if she had gone for a nice drink at the bar, she could have given herself an extra half an hour of feeling like a normal person. But here she was, back in the room, looking at Jay’s swollen and bloodied face, as he sat slumped on the bed like a wounded soldier.
“Just like I said, Tan, I’m fucked, good and proper. Billy has seen to it that I can’t get back into my house, I can’t do business with most of my fucking contacts, and I no longer fucking work for him: but that goes without fucking saying, obviously.” Throwing his keys onto the table, Jay groaned at the sudden movement, feeling pain shooting through his chest, he’d probably had a couple of his ribs done in.
Tanya paced the room, her relaxing massage now feeling like a distant memory, like she’d never had it. She knew how Billy worked, he would close down all of the options for them both, and no one would look at Jay after this, let alone do business with him. He would have to start at the bottom, like a fucking loser, dealing outside schools or in grotty little parks for pocket money. Tanya was too old for that shit, and she wanted more than pennies in her purse. Walking over to the mini-bar, she poured them both drinks: she really needed one, anyway.
“We need to put our thinking caps on Jay, and fast. If we let Billy do this to us, let him treat us like fucking mugs, we’re not coming back up from it. People will think they can treat us like fucking cunts, Jay, and I’m not having it.”
Taking the drink she offered him, Jay swallowed it down in one, enjoying the burn at the back of his throat and the warmness that seeped through him, slightly numbing his pain. He looked over at Tanya, now deep in thought; he had noticed how she hadn’t once asked him if he was okay, hadn’t once shown any compassion at all. Alright, it was only a kicking, he had been dealt worse in his time, he had a feeling that Ryan could and would have wiped the pavement with him had he wanted to, so he must have been under strict orders from Billy boy. Tanya was merciless, though, she was like a bloke in that respect; she knew what she wanted and she wouldn’t stop until she had it. Even though a kind word wouldn’t have gone a miss, he respected her for it; she was shrewd in that she was already thinking of ways out of this situation for them both. He had never had that before from someone; he had had to fend for himself. Even his dad had used him, they had never worked as a team; his dad had made money out of him and used his innocence for his own gains, playing the father-and-son card whenever possible to get Jay to do whatever he asked. Tanya didn’t look like she had taken any shit from anyone.
Pouring them both another drink, Tanya looked at him impatiently. “Do you need to go to hospital, or what?”
Rolling his eyes, he started laughing, really laughing; his ribs were so sore it made tears spring to his eyes, which made him laugh more.
“What? What’s so bloody funny?” Tanya demanded.
Jay was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak; good old Tanya; right on cue, just about as caring and sympathetic as she was going to get.
“Nothing, babe, just glad you’re on my side, because you’re fucking scary right now.”
She laughed, finally understanding his joke, and passed him his glass.
“A couple of them and you’ll feel a whole lot better, Jay, trust me.”
They sat in the bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, draining the mini-bar. As they drank, Jay told Tanya that he had the best part of fifty thousand pounds stashed away. She did her maths, and although she was very happy that she had been right all along and Jay did have a bit of cash stashed away somewhere, she also knew that it was peanuts in the grand scheme of things. They needed real money. If they were going to fuck off into the sunset, they needed a hell of a lot more than fifty grand.
Tanya sent down for a couple of bottles of champagne; she always managed to think better after a few drinks inside her, besides what she had on her mind was worth celebrating. Jay was gobsmacked at her little plan; he couldn’t believe Tanya could even think about something so… well, fucking brilliant. She knew better than anyone else how to hit Billy O’Conner where it fucking hurt.
37
The music was thumping; once again the DJ was playing the top tunes and had nearly every person in the place going mental for them. The dance floor was packed, as it was most nights. Kate couldn’t believe the length of the guest list: it was almost as long as her arm. Looking at the main bar, she saw Emma and was again astounded. In the three weeks that Emma had been out of hospital, Kate had witnessed such a change in her. It was amazing; like she had her old friend back. Emma had her moments, of course, but Kate would have been more worried if she hadn’t have had them. Emma occasionally got tearful or would want to talk things through, but Kate was there for her. She had even got her a job behind the bar, so they worked together too.
Emma had had a real heart-to-heart with her parents and it had been very emotional for them all, she was stunned when her parents had admitted that they had always thought something wasn’t quite right, but they just couldn’t put their finger on what. Emma hadn’t blamed them, as she had done her upmost to keep her dirty lifestyle a secret. They had promised to keep more of an eye on her in the future and told her they didn’t judge or blame her, that they loved her. They were such old-fashioned parents that she had been surprised when they hadn’t judged her. They had given her all the support she needed. She had sobbed when she heard that, imagining that they would both have been completely disgraced by her. Emma had had to try really hard to stop craving the drugs, but every time she needed something, to take the edge off, she pictured Jay Shaw’s disgusting face and to spite him, to beat him and his hold over her, she took deep breaths and got through it. She would show him, alright. However, no one had seen Jay for weeks, and Kate had told Emma that he had done a runner with Tanya. Emma didn’t care who he had buggered off with, as long as she didn’t have to set eyes on him again.
Catching Kate’s eye, Emma smiled. She loved working at Goldie’s, and now she had met Paul, she could see why Kate talked about him every five minutes: he was hot. Not that she would even be looking at a guy in that way for a very long time. But she was grateful to Kate for everything she was doing and she was determined to see if she could work her magic and get the pair together. Paul had it bad for Kate: that much was obvious. Kate wouldn’t admit it, but Emma was sure that even she had noticed how he always watched her; he was always laughing and joking with her. Kate, being Kate, swore he was just a friend and that they didn’t feel that way about each other. Smiling, Emma gave Kate a little wave before turning back to the ever-growing queue of thirsty clubbers.
Kate could see
that Emma being here was doing her the world of good, she would have her confidence back in no time. Kate hadn’t heard a thing from Jay, but to be honest she didn’t really have much of a feeling about that. She felt numb about the whole Jay situation. You can’t really love someone when everything they do is behind your back and everything they stand for hurts you. He was a stranger, he felt like a figment of her imagination, because their relationship had never been real: everything about him had been fake. He was a coward of the worst kind; he couldn’t even stand by his actions, everything he did was in secret behind her back; as far as she was concerned, he was a poor excuse for a man. The Jay she thought she had loved was all in her head. He wasn’t the animal that she had found him out to be. She had changed her number, and Billy and Paul were watching out for her. She had called in to Sonia a few times, and promised that she would stay in touch.
“Of course I will, silly; you’re like a mum to me, Sonia,” she had said.
Sonia had let tears slide down her cheeks at the kind words; Kate knew she loved the bones of her. She was a decent honest girl, way too good for Jay. Sonia had cut Jay from her life like dead wood. He was nothing to her now. Sonia had felt stupid: she had constantly tried to gain his approval and love. He was bad through and through, just like his father; rotten to the core.
Kate just wanted life to get back to normal; surely it wasn’t too naïve to think that now that everything was out in the open they could all start again.
Turning back to her bar, Kate smiled at the local hot-shot sitting in front of her, lining up drinks like there was no tomorrow. She loved her job with a passion, and as she poured the next round of shots, she thought how intrigued she was to know what Paul wanted to talk to her about tomorrow. He had said earlier that he wanted to have a chat and asked if she could come in an hour or so before her shift. She wondered what it was about. Things at the club were going well; they were a fantastic team. Kate knew that he appreciated and used most of her ideas, and she had seen first-hand how busy the place had become. Goldie’s had made a real name for itself; this was the place everyone wanted to be and Kate was thrilled to be part of it. It helped keep her mind off everything that was going on, and that was a godsend.
“There you go darling, have one for yourself.” The man winked as he placed a fifty pound note in her hand, and then, just for good measure, looked her straight in the eye and licked his lips. Smiling out of politeness, while thinking what a transparent prat the bloke was, Kate thanked the guy for the very generous tip and popped it into her overflowing tip jar under the counter. She smiled even more at the thought of the gorgeous designer handbag she had spotted in a boutique on Oxford Road, the perfect present to help cheer up Emma, and the rate her tips were coming in lately she would be treating herself to one too.
Upstairs in the gentlemen’s club, Billy was also smiling, while enjoying a few drinks with the lads. Ditching Tanya had been one of the best things he had done. He hadn’t realised how much of a drain she had been, and after her trying to make a mug out of him with Jay he was well out of it. Candice had done her best to help him take his mind off the whole thing; it was just business to her, but that was cool with him. He had his needs, and she filled them nicely. He was quite liking being single. The house was quiet without Kate, but he was pleased that she had accepted the flat and thought that living with Emma would be great for them both. Kate was safe and that was the main thing, at the end of the day. He had also made a conscious decision to stop being so overbearing when it came to her, he had been so close to losing her because of that and he wouldn’t be putting himself in that situation again. Thanks to his mate Ryan, Jay was officially off the radar and had taken Tanya with him, no doubt, so Billy could finally relax. Laughing at Jonny taking the piss out of his brother Lee and telling all their funny stories of the latest little business trip, Billy picked up his pint. He was glad to have these guys around him; they had his back. Life was good.
38
His palms were sweating. Paul took a deep breath, trying to control his nerves. He wasn’t sure whether letting his feelings be known to Kate was the right thing to do, but to be honest he wasn’t sure if he could keep them to himself for much longer. He had to fight the urge he had to hold her when he saw her looking upset, although she did a good job of trying to hide it. At times he could see that she looked lost, and it took every ounce of his willpower to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her and telling her she would be alright. Yesterday, he had felt sure that now was the right to time to tell her, but today he wasn’t feeling confident. He was losing his bottle. What if she didn’t find him attractive, or simply didn’t look at him that way? Kate was nice and kind, she would never set out to lead someone on: she was just so sweet to everyone, what if the vibes he had picked up from her were just her being nice and nothing else? Paul was going to tell her how he felt and tell her about Sophia, his beautiful little daughter. He knew that he wanted Kate, but she would have to accept that he had a child. They were a package, but after everything that Kate had gone through losing her baby, Paul was not sure how Sophia would be received by Kate.
Pacing the room, he looked at the clock in his office, it was quarter to eight; even if he did call her to say not to bother coming in, he would probably be too late, she would probably have left by now. He quickly poured himself a shot of whiskey from the bottle he kept in the top drawer and gulped it down in one then made a note to calm it down on the drinking front at work, it was slowly becoming a habit and not one he intended on keeping. He liked to stay in control; after tonight, he was going to try and curb it at work. Drinking the whiskey, he was surprised that it did nothing to stop his nerves; he felt like a fifteen-year-old schoolboy going on his first date. Strumming his fingers on the desk, he glanced around as he waited for her. The place was immaculate, he had never seen it so organised. Normally there were piles of paper stacked up all over the place and falling on the floor, bills scattered amongst junk mail, scrap paper and e-mails. Kate had devised a great filing system, so everything from wages, stock takes and invoices all had their place and the whole club was running more smoothly. They made a great team, she was so good at the things he wasn’t. Paul had the contacts, the funds and the vision, but he had realised that he had needed someone to work alongside him, doing the organisation, event planning and PR; he was crap at that. He just hoped that by telling her how he felt, he wouldn’t make her run a million miles from him; the last thing he would want to do was scare her off; even if she didn’t want him, he hoped she would want to be part of the club.
Across town, Emma was winding Kate up as she was getting ready to leave. She had done her hair and makeup and was wearing a new white blouse that wasn’t too revealing but flattered her figure and looked very stylish.
“Ooh, going in early for a bit of one-on-one?” Emma giggled.
Kate rolled her eyes but then grinned.
“I told you, it’s not like that; I think Paul just wants to run something by me.”
“Yeah, I bet he does,” said Emma sarcastically, winking. Secretly hoping that the two would get it on, they were clearly besotted with each other, she hoped that all her hinting and teasing would push the idea along a bit in Kate’s head. Paul Goldie would be perfect for Kate, Emma just knew it; he was a real man, a gentleman. Someone like Paul could show Kate that not all men were cheating shits; some of them were decent, with a backbone. Keeping her fingers crossed, Emma added, “Perhaps he has an indecent proposal for you?”
“Well, I’ll find out soon enough, don’t you worry, and when you get in to work later, I promise you’ll be the first person I tell.” Smiling as confidently as she could, Kate opened the front door but then glanced back at her friend.
“Don’t get too excited though, hun, it’s probably just some event he’s planning, probably wants my opinion on it, something like that. See you in a bit.” Once the front door had closed, Emma grinned and shook her head.
Boy oh boy, they both had it b
ad.
Kate made her way to the club. It was only a ten-minute walk and the evening was gorgeous, the sun shining as it set and everyone Kate passed looking happy, it was funny how a bit of sunshine did that. Kate didn’t feel particularly happy, though, she felt anxious. She wasn’t sure what Paul wanted to see her about, and she had definitely felt that he had been acting very strangely towards her over the past few days, almost as if he was trying to avoid her, as if he felt a bit uncomfortable around her. Kate hadn’t wanted to worry Emma by saying anything, not now they had moved in and had the flat together, but she had an awful feeling that he was going to let her go, that he didn’t need her to work for him. She knew she had done a fantastic job, and she was almost sure that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but she just couldn’t be certain. She didn’t know what else could it be, and he had looked serious when he had asked her to come in before her shift. She also had heard him talking about a Sophia on the phone, and Kate had felt a knot of jealousy in her stomach at his tone. He hadn’t mentioned a girlfriend, and Kate had never seen him with anyone, but whoever this Sophia was she meant something to him, as he spoke her name in a tone that made Kate realise that no matter how she might be feeling, he liked someone else. There had been moments when she had wondered at Paul’s thoughts towards her, but she had believed that he was too much of a gentleman to mix business with pleasure, so she had not pursued the matter. Clearly he was a decent guy who looked out for her: nothing more and nothing less. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was just gone eight; she picked up her pace: she wanted to get this over with, whatever it was about.
39
Arriving at the club, Emma was dying to find out how the little meeting had gone. She had her money on Paul declaring his undying love and sweeping Kate into his muscly arms, with them both running off into the sunset and living happily ever after: well, something like that. Kate had been supposed to text the minute the meeting was over, so that Emma could find out what had been said, but maybe it was a more serious matter than she had thought, or maybe it hadn’t gone well, as Emma had not heard anything. She wandered around a bit but didn’t spot Kate, maybe Romeo and Juliet were in a cupboard somewhere, having a bit of time out. Emma was early for her shift, so she decided she would grab a quick drink before she started. Plopping herself up on a stool, she asked Jake, the barman she had been working alongside for the past few weeks, who was a seriously funny guy, for an orange juice with lots of ice and gratefully sipped it while she caught up on the gossip of the evening so far. Then she spotted Paul coming towards her with the mother of all frowns etched on his forehead: it was not the look of a happy man. She felt a bit guilty that she was sitting on her butt, even though technically she wouldn’t be paid for her shift for another fifteen minutes. She wondered if he had assumed she was drinking alcohol while she was supposed to be working, and maybe that was why he seemed so hacked off. But as he approached her, she could see that he didn’t even seem to have noticed what she was doing.
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