by Ian Christe
Back to the Future, 1985 Michael J. Fox puts a tape labeled “Van Halen” in his Walkman to scare Crispin Glover with futuristic interplanetary guitar sounds.
Better Off Dead, 1985 Overimaginative fry cook John Cusack brings raw hamburger meat to life, creating a giant Claymation figure of cheeseburger that plays a red-and-white-striped guitar and entertains a grease pool of female fries while “Everybody Wants Some” blasts.
Weird Science, 1985 Roth’s “Just a Gigolo” video is prominently featured.
Saturday Night Live, 1987 A skit called “Dinner with the Van Halens” lampoons life with Eddie and Valerie, as a quiet dinner with friends at home is ruined by the constant interference of overzealous roadies Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey—who inexplicably speaks in a British accent.
Café Americain, 1993 Eddie Van Halen appears as a street musician in the “Home Alone” episode of this short-lived TV show costarring his wife, Valerie.
Frasier, 1993 For the episode “Call Me Irresponsible,” Eddie lends his voice as a radio caller named “Hank.”
Airheads, 1994 Honorable mention for hinging the plot around Van Halen. When record company weasel Harold Ramis comes to sign Brendan Fraser’s band, the suspicious Fraser asks which side Ramis took in the David Lee Roth/Van Halen split. Ramis says, “Van Halen,” and the door slams shut in his face. “It’s strictly a judgment call,” he sputters in protest. “They sold a lot of records after Dave left the group!”
BONUS TRACK D
The Menu:
The Covers Band From Pasadena
Sometimes they faked it, sometimes they nailed it. . . . Before the well-known Kinks, Martha and the Vandellas, and Linda Ronstadt covers, here are a few of the hundreds of songs Van Halen kept on hand to play while cutting their teeth as a cover band.
• Aerosmith, “Sweet Emotion,” “Walk This Way,” “Last Child”
• Bad Company, “Can’t Get Enough,” “Live for the Music,” “Rock Steady”
• Beatles, “Drive My Car”
• Black Sabbath, “War Pigs” (Eddie on vocals)
• Tommy Bolin, “The Grind”
• David Bowie, “Jean Genie”
• Budgie, “In for the Kill,” “Living on Your Own”
• Captain Beyond, “Bright Blue Tango”
• Eddie Cochran, “Summertime Blues”
• Cream, all of it
• Deep Purple, “Might Just Take Your Life,” “Hallelujah,” “Maybe I’m a Leo,” “Woman from Tokyo”
• Rick Derringer, “Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo,” “Still Alive and Well”
• Foghat, “Slow Ride”
• Grand Funk Railroad, “Some Kind of Wonderful”
• Humble Pie, “30 Days in the Hole”
• Isley Brothers, “Twist and Shout,” “It’s Your Thing”
• James Gang, “Funk #49,” “Walk Away”
• KC & the Sunshine Band, “Get Down Tonight”
• Kiss, “Rock and Roll All Night,” “Firehouse”
• Led Zeppelin, “Nobody’s Fault but Mine,” “Houses of the Holy”
“Trampled Under Foot,” “The Rover,” “Hots On for Nowhere”
• Montrose, “Make It Last,” “Rock Candy”
• Mountain, “Mississippi Queen”
• Elvis Presley, “Heartbreak Hotel”
• Queen, “Now I’m Here”
• Rainbow, “Man on a Silver Mountain”
• Paul Revere and the Raiders, “Kicks”
• Rolling Stones, “If You Can’t Rock Me,” “It’s Only Rock and Roll”
• Rod Stewart, “Stone Cold Sober”
• Scorpions, “Catch Your Train,” “Speedy’s Coming”
• Slade, “Goodbye to Jane”
• Spooky Tooth, “Wildfire”
• Sugarloaf, “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You”
• Ten Years After, “Goin’ Home”
• Thin Lizzy, “Jailbreak”
• The Troggs, “Wild Thing”
• Robin Trower, “The Fool and Me”
• Edgar Winter, “We All Had a Real Good Time,” “Keep Playing That Rock and Roll”
• Johnny Winter, “Still Alive & Well”
• Stevie Wonder, “Superstition”
• ZZ Top—“Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers,” “La Grange,” “Waiting for the Bus,” “Brown Sugar,” “Chevrolet,” “Tush,” “Francine”
BONUS TRACK E
Uncovered:
Van Halen Tribute Bands
Van Halen’s light schedule in recent years has encouraged the rise of a cottage industry of scores of tribute bands based all over the globe. It’s fitting that Pasadena’s greatest cover band should find itself copied into infinity. Not surprisingly, the population skews heavily toward Roth-era acts, mostly dolled up in scarves and stripes. A notable exception is the Other Half, the highly qualified party band featuring Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony, and described by Hagar as “the ultimate Van Halen tribute band.”
“I think it’s great,” Alex Van Halen said approvingly of tribute act Atomic Punks. “Music is an art form, and as long as you’re doing something that you get a kick out of and other people get a kick out of, and if you don’t have any expectations of going multinational, but you’re doing it to have a good time, why not?”
Atomic Punks (Los Angeles) Billed as the number one early Van Halen tribute act (get in line). Michael Anthony played with them in 1998 and 2003, plus two guitarists have gone on to work for the real Roth.
Diver Down (Plymouth, MA) Active since 1983, they play the entire six Roth albums, plus the two 1996 Roth comeback songs, plus “Yankee Rose” for good measure. Feature an ex-Extreme drummer, and Gary Cherone has joined them onstage.
Eat ’Em and Smile (New York, NY) All Roth, all the time.
Eruption (Vancouver, Canada) Billed as the “most accurate Van Halen tribute band in Canada.”
Eruption (Los Angeles) Very convincing early Van Halen copyists, even with a blond Michael Anthony. Their Roth once made a surprise appearance singing “Runnin’ with the Devil” with Sammy and Mike.
Eruption (Hampton, VA) Not only does their bassist like to drink whiskey, he also whomps a Jack Daniel’s bass.
Fair Warning (Chicago) Formed back in 1987, their Roth-alike plays the part to the hilt, complete with bone necklaces and aerial splits.
Fair Warning (Northern California) Props include leather chaps and a homemade striped EVH Peavey guitar.
Fan Halen (Holland) Not only can their singer do aerial splits, but these guys are Dutch—tough to fake.
5150 (Australia) Playing Diver Down down under.
5150 (United Kingdom) Cover the Roth and Hagar eras.
Hans Valen (Australia) Share their name with a Canadian house painter named Mr. Hans Valen, lucky guy.
Hot for Teacher (San Francisco) They designed tricky flying HFT wings in the style of the classic VH logo, and just like Van Halen in the early days they’ve opened for Y&T.
Hot for Teacher (Concepción, Chile) Hot Chile? Very funny!
Mighty VH (New York) This Dave-era band blew away Manhattan at “Mockfest” in 2004 with Ozzy Osbourne, AC/DC, and Iron Maiden cover bands.
Ice Cream Men (Italy) I wish they only played the pre-rock covers like “Ice Cream Man,” “Big Bad Bill,” and “Happy Trails.”
1984 (Ontario, Canada) Honest Roth-era interpreters who admit, “We sure don’t look like Van Halen.”
Mammoth (Long Island, NY) After all, when Van Halen were called Mammoth they were a cover band, too.
Mean Street (Pittsburgh) (New York) (Maryland) Seems like every town has a Main Street, too.
Panama (Orange County, CA) Except for the keyboard player, the historical reenactments of Van Halen portraits are spot-on.
Rattle Rattle (Italy) Maybe inspired by the baby on the 1984 cover?
Romeo Delight (Austin, TX) Atomic Punks invaded their turf.
Romeo Delight (Northe
rn New Jersey) Also a great name for a pizza joint.
Romeo Delight (Italy) They hail from the birthplace of the real Romeo.
Spanish Fly (Argentina) Not such an obscure song in South America.
Unchained (Morristown, NJ) The closest the world will ever come to seeing David Lee Roth sing “5150.”
Unchained UK (United Kingdom) They can’t drive 88 kilometers per hour.
Valerie’s Revenge (Cleveland, OH) Now known as Virtual Halen.
Van Hagar (Sydney, Australia) Somehow this band has gotten away with using this name for almost ten years, though it’s kind of an insult.
Van Heaven (North Carolina) Shooting for the “#1 touring Van Halen cover band” title.
Van Hielan (Glasgow, Scotland) Hide your sheep, lads!
Van Wailen (Toronto) The drummer and guitarist also had a tribute band called the Stone Temple Co-Pilots.
VH—The Van Halen Tribute Band (unknown): VH? These Roth-heavy tributeers skirt the lines between homage and identity theft.
WDFA—short for “We Don’t Fuck Around” (Northern California) Van Halen’s unofficial motto and the first runner-up title for this book. Their drummer played with bassist Cliff Burton in his pre-Metallica band Trauma.
Xhalen (Australia) “Australia’s only tribute to the mighty Van Halen,” at least until they see this list.
BONUS TRACK F
Van Hagar For Dummies
In the spirit of world peace, here are seven quick steps for stubborn David Lee Roth loyalists to get a handle on the ten years Sammy Hagar spent in Van Halen, seven songs from five albums, totaling thirty-seven minutes—longer than almost all the band’s studio albums. Season them with the instrumentals of your choice. Though it is doubtful that anyone will convert to the dark side after downloading these, Hagar foes may shake their heads a little less vigorously in opposition. Now, here they are, the least worst songs of Van Hagar:
1. “5150” from 5150 This is definitely not the first song here to convert any nonbelievers, but a very good version popped up on the Internet recently, supposedly by Axl Rose and Guns N’ Roses. That tribute never happened, but the obscure cover band behind the grittier version definitely nailed the pathos of this track. Eddie’s arpeggios land on the guitar neck like thick Texas rain on the roof of a tin shed. Though Sammy sounds syrupy, he’s believable—plus the thumping electronic drum rolls are a hoot!
2. “Mine All Mine” from OU812 More cheesy synths and fake-sounding drums here, and Hagar’s emoting can be pretty hard to take—but the driving pace pushes the urgency. If not a great song, it’s a perfect picture of where the band’s head was at the time, making this the one track from OU812 that classic Van Halen fans can stomach without retching.
3. “Runaround” from For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Five years into his tenure, Hagar finally finds his feet, loosening his collar to sing in a lower voice. This is just another rave-up on an album full of bawdy rockers, but “Runaround” builds around choruses and hooks that would have done any of his early-eighties solo albums proud. He even tries a sultry spoken voice in the middle section without aping Roth. Eddie’s playing is subdued, focusing on rhythm like on some of Van Halen’s earliest songs.
4. “Pleasure Dome” from For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Surprisingly summoning a semi-science-fiction landscape for this galloping epic, Sammy narrates the lonely tale of a lost desert wanderer. Why the band waited so long to live its boyhood comic-book fantasies is a mystery—and the image of Sammy Hagar in any kind of “Pleasure Dome” is best left alone.
5. “The Seventh Seal” from Balance Another majestic Zeppelinesque stormer from late-era Van Hagar, this cataclysmic album opener is classic heavy metal in the vein of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, filtered through the washy stadium rock of U2. If Hagar wanted to leave the band at this point, the brothers were making him work hard for his supper, as he screams his way across a constantly changing landscape of pulsing bass, intricate drums, and multilayered guitars.
6. “Aftershock” from Balance Funny that throughout his time with Van Halen, whenever Hagar really throws down he sounds like Tina Turner. On his way out the door, he dishes some hard howls about his recent divorce wounds—which just as easily apply to his impending exit from the band. Unlike so many of his commercially potent songs, this one is not background music—saddling up next to greatness, “Aftershock” demands your full attention.
7. “It’s About Time” from The Best of Both Worlds Shameless nineties guitar riffing aside, Hagar jumps right back into the fold for this quick rekindling of the Van Hagar chemistry. Thirty years after the birth of Van Halen, Eddie still comes up with some guitar parts that warrant “how did he do that?”
Look At All The People Here Tonight!
Backstage All-access: My partner in all things, Dianna Dilworth, my esteemed editor, Stephen S. Power and his crotchless leather pants (“chaps,” he claims), and one-man rhythm section and negotiator-in-chief, Peter McGuigan.
VIP Area: Kimberly Monroe-Hill, Hannah Gordon, Steven Tackeff, Jason Perlman, Trey Azagthoth, Brian Kehew, Jose Mangin, Alex Porro, Greg Steele, Tom Wilkinson, Jess Besack, Jeff Stone, James Lo, Matt Sweeney, Omid Yamini, Rob Dyrenforth, Portia Jane Cook, Tim Dono-van, Steve Loschi, Todd Sentz, Doug Messenger, Jeff Kitts, Christoffer Jonsson, Patrick Delaney, Millicent Souris, Austin Hill, Denise Korycki, Greg Fiering, Adrienne Bradley, Bret Witter, Albert Mudrian, Martin Popoff, Dennis Sobolewski, Ben Daughtry, Monte Conner, Richard Kreis, Johnny Kreis, Sjors Soulburn, Metal Opie, Kris Durso, Mike Nicoletti, Eric O’Brien, Steve O’Malley, Traci Terrill, Rob Grobengeiser, Nigel Cox-Hagan, Jeff Hausman, Vinny Cecolini, Liz Ciavarella, Derek Yip, Rob Womack, Scott Rosenfeld, Vinnie Paul, Rob Halford, David Rensin, Neil Zlozower, Gibbs Chapman, Adam Chapman, and Andy “Right Now” Ryan.
To everyone who couldn’t pick up the phone—I hope you’re feeling better.
EVERYBODY WANTS SOME ONLINE
www.soundsofthebeast.com
Photographer’s Note: As a sixth grader, Kevin Estrada was suspended for squirting a VH logo on the school walls with mustard packets. When he was twelve, he shot the photos of Van Halen’s 1978 tour that appear in this book. Raised in Arcadia, California, Estrada grew up in Van Halen country, and he was constantly bumping into his favorite band, getting them to autograph a bag of chips or an ever-present Van Halen album. A family dinner at the local Mexican restaurant Peppers led to a chance encounter with Michael Anthony’s birthday party—and Estrada’s dad mistaking David Lee Roth for Peter Frampton. While filming the “Panama” video, Roth nearly drove over Estrada and his friends in his red lowrider.
In high school, Estrada took guitar lessons at Dr. Music, Eddie Van Halen’s favorite gear shop. Eddie gave him a guitar pick one day, but Estrada had other ideas. “All my friends wanted to be Eddie Van Halen, but I wanted to be the guy down there shooting Van Halen.”
He began sneaking his camera into concerts, duct-taping it to the back of his neck. When he was fifteen, a bouncer caught him and sent him flying across the room with a punch to the head. Incredibly, he took most of the photos for this book from the crowd. He could only afford one roll of film the final time he shot classic Van Halen, on the 1984 tour. “I had to be very careful that night,” he says.
Estrada now lives in Burbank, California, with his wife and two daughters. He has photographed acts including Nirvana, the Cure, and Slayer, and his work also appears in Johnny Cash: From the Editors of Rolling Stone and The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx.