We danced in silence, neither of us willing to break the spell that had apparently been woven around us, until I finally gave her the compliment she had deserved earlier.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I whispered to her, and she smiled at me and rested her head against my shoulder.
“Flatterer,” she said with a gentle laugh, a delightful, soft sound that seemed so strange coming from her, and yet so right. “I can see why she loved you, Eyathehn.”
Finally my curiosity got the better of me.
“Why do you keep calling me that? I am aware of it’s meaning, you know.”
She lifted her head again, looking me straight in the eyes as she replied.
“Should I not?” she answered, her tone suggesting it was the simplest thing in the world to understand. “You are cherished, Deimos. You gave me strength at a time I thought there was none to find. You gave me back something I thought would evade me until I died, you restored my family, and you ask nothing of me in return. You invited me out tonight, seeing that I needed it as much as you, when even I didn’t. I mean it when I say you are cherished, just as I meant it when I said I’d be lost without you.”
I held her a little tighter in that moment, both wishing for more and fearing it.
I searched for the words I needed to say to her, but nothing seemed appropriate. I was sure anything I chose to say from that selection would drive her away for good, so I opted for something more diplomatic.
“Well, what are friends for?”
Her expression altered, as if she was deciding something particularly important, and sighed heavily.
“I need to talk to you, Deimos,” she told me, her tone deadly serious. “Somewhere quiet.”
She took hold of my hand and led me from the floor, heading for the double doors at the far end of the ballroom.
Sharriana must have had some taste after all - the ballroom had been constructed with a large, half-moon balcony, complete with its own small fountain in the centre and an amazing view of the sea.
Another couple were spending some private time together as we entered onto the balcony, and Lorelei very politely asked for them to excuse us.
They both bowed to her, an act she ignored in that moment, instead turning her attention to me.
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked, suddenly concerned that I had done exactly what I had been afraid of doing.
“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, the night before we went to Canada, I said I couldn’t get involved with a man I didn’t trust implicitly?”
I did remember, and I told her such.
“Well, it may have escaped your notice Deimos, but the number of men who can claim that have been very, very few of late. As in single digits.”
“Seven?” I offered, and she gave a single laugh.
“Goddess, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?” She always seemed to call me an idiot in the most affectionate way possible. I was never sure how she managed that.
“One, Deimos. You. So what do you think is likely to happen, when I spend so much time, and share a bed so often, with the only man I trust? The only man who I feel so comfortable with, I can bare my soul and be vulnerable with in complete faith?” I opened my mouth to respond, but she raised a hand to stop me.
“Actually, don’t answer that, there’s only so much stupid I can stomach. The answer is, I’m inevitably going to develop feelings towards that man that go beyond simple friendship. I don’t know if you were aware, but the last couple of night we shared, I...didn’t actually want to sleep, if you follow.”
“Well we could’ve talked for longer, if you wanted,” I told her, and just made a noise of disgust and turned away from me.
“See? You’re not the only one who can make pithy comebacks,” I said, standing beside her and resting a hand lightly on her back. “Yeah, I had noticed - spending time around Lev and my sister has gotten me a little too familiar with the scent of arousal, so it was a little hard to miss.”
“You sound so romantic when you put it that way,” she answered sardonically, then she shook her head and looked at me, daring to meet my eyes again.
“Okay, can we ditch the attempts at humour - on both sides - and talk frankly for a minute?”
I nodded, my throat suddenly constricting.
“I’m going to be blunt and honest, and I need you to do the same for me, okay?” I nodded again. “Good. Deimos, I care about you. As more than a friend, I hope that much is clear now. I love our friendship, and if you decide it, that’s how we’ll remain...but I will still care about you, even when you eventually no longer need our nights together. I just-”
“I don’t,” I blurted out, and she looked at me in bemused horror.
“What?”
“I don’t need our nights together,” I clarified. “I haven’t for about a week and a half now. Yes, Corvi’s death still aches, and I’m sure it does for you too, but lately...I’ve carried on because I love your company. Because holding you at night, despite my reservations and concerns, still felt right somehow...and because yes, my feelings toward you have grown as well.”
“Blunt and honest, Deimos,” she told me. “This is no time for being vague - ‘growing feelings’ could mean anything or nothing.”
I looked away for a moment, then met her eyes once again, drawing strength from her to tell her what was depressingly true.
“I care about you too, Lori. As more than a friend. And I want to give you whatever you want, but...”
She placed a gentle hand on my cheek, running a thumb over my lips.
“I know you still care about Corvi. I’d think less of you if you didn’t. I’m not expecting you to forget her...I guess I’m just wondering if there’s room in your life for me as well.”
There were a lot of responses to that, but none seemed to fit.
So instead, I ran a hand gently through her hair, then pulled her close to me as I kissed her. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, reaching one hand up to the back of my head to pull me deeper into the kiss, surprisingly reserved considering what we’d mentioned before.
Eventually I pulled away from the kiss, because something needed to be added.
“Lori, if we’re going to do this, if we’re going to try...”
“Having a relationship?” she offered. “Come on Deimos, use your big boy words.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Alright, alright, fair point. What I’m trying to say is, if we’re going to try a...relationship-” I paused as Lorelei applauded. “-then could we at least take it slow? It’s still going to be-”
“Nah.” Her sudden, soft response was given with a crooked smile, and a wicked gleam in her eye.
“What?”
“No. Tonight you’re mine,” she said with a predatory grin, “then we can talk about going slow.”
She smiled again and kissed me, then looked back at me.
“As long as going slow doesn’t mean I don’t get to sleep beside you. I’ve grown very fond of that.”
I shook my head, and pulled her into my arms.
“No, it doesn’t,” I reassured her. “I’ve grown quite fond of it too.”
“Good, because I’d break your knees otherwise.”
It was going to be an interesting relationship.
Shortly after that, we went back into the ballroom to enjoy the rest of the party. She spent the rest of the time very close to me, her hand in mine, and was very open about kissing me in front of others. I was surprised at first just how willing she was to be public, since Corvi and I had been quite secretive for the first couple of months of our relationship, until Lori pointed out that the difference was Corvi had been a base commander, and as such had to avoid accusations of favouritism; as the new Head of The Order, I could romance who I liked and no-one could object.
Although I was certain Lev would, when she found out.
Eventually, however, Lori’s patience ran out, and she grabbed me by the hand and led m
e back to her room.
The minute the door was closed she pulled me close, kissing me hungrily, and I reciprocated as we both finally gave in to the lust that had plagued us for several nights. She shed her dress, letting it drop to the floor before helping me out of my suit.
Well...I say ‘help’. I didn’t actually have much input. Or choice.
She dragged me to her bed and pushed me onto it with a rough shove, and prowled over me on all fours. She kissed me again,savouring the connection, before breaking away for a moment and leaning close to my ear.
“Ish’tahn tuahvis, sahd tuan tien vath’ish, Eyathehn,” she whispered, before claiming my lips in another deep kiss and settling her body on top of mine.
‘I am yours, and you are mine,’ she’d said. Even then, in that moment, it was hard to hear such a promise from another woman, and yet it also seemed so right coming from Lorelei.
I may have been...less than honest, with something I mentioned in my last account. I had told you then that Lorelei and I never shared a bed in a romantic or sexual sense. Well, I didn’t know that I would be writing this account, and as such I had no idea I’d have the opportunity to show you how it all transpired. I wanted to avoid confusion for you, and keep mainly to the point with the last one.
So I apologise for the deception. It was, at the time, necessary.
It wouldn’t be long after that night that we finally caught a break, one which led to learning some things which even threw me. God knows how you’ll take it.
CHAPTER 6
Clues of the blood
I woke early the following morning, due to needing to go back to my own room for some fresh clothes, but as I got out of bed - Lorelei’s bed, I noted with a trace of self-hatred - the enormity of what had happened hit me.
I’d had sex with my late wife’s closest friend, perhaps four months after her death. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, guilt washing over me like a tidal wave.
I leaned on Lorelei’s dresser, burying my face in my hands in shame.
I didn’t move even when I heard Lorelei stir, getting out of bed and padding softly across the floor to stand behind me.
“Everything alright?” she asked, softly tracing her fingers along the scratches she’d left in my back the night before.
She didn’t just have the grace of a cat, she had the fucking claws to match, believe me.
“No, I feel terrible,” I told her, finally moving my hands away from my face. “I just feel like...like I’ve betrayed-”
“Vathiin ke’shahn, this again?” she said impatiently, and moved to my side. “Sit down. Now.”
“Can I get dressed first?” I asked, suddenly aware of being alarmingly naked with my new lover.
“No you can’t, now sit down and shut up.”
I obeyed silently and she walked over to me, while I tried to ignore how amazing she looked wearing nothing but her satin choker. Even the scar across her midriff seemed to add to her allure. She straddled my legs and curled her arms around my neck, giving me a soft kiss before speaking.
“I’m going to say this once and once only, so listen well, Deimos Black.”
I nodded at her, putting my arms around her waist and resting my head on her collarbone.
“I was Corvina’s best friend. You were her husband. Both of us were trusted and cherished by her. I don’t think she would find fault with us, Deimos. I think she would be glad that you and I had found some measure of comfort in each other, and I’m sure she would actually be happy that you and I developed this relationship. Certainly she’d prefer it to be me, because she knew that unlike Lev, I don’t do casual relationships.”
She looked at me pointedly, raising my chin so that I was looking her in the eyes.
“And that’s something I need you to understand, Deimos. If we are going to have this relationship, I’m in it for the long haul - I don’t do ‘casual.’ You want me as a serious girlfriend, to see where we go, that’s fine, me too. But if you want some idle dalliance until you get over your idiocy and fretting? I’ll break your legs and send you packing. So, before we go any further, which is it?”
Despite my reservations, it wasn’t a question I needed to think about.
“The first one,” I told her without hesitation. “Definitely. I want to see this through.”
“Well in that case, stop your bloody whining and leave the fretting behind. You can’t put a specific timer on how long it takes to move on, and I’d say your emotions have decided now is the time.”
I nodded, idly nibbling on her collarbone, causing her to squirm in pleasure.
“Stop it, I’m trying to-”
She gasped suddenly as I bit her, savouring the taste of her blood as I sucked lightly on the sensitive spot I’d found.
“D-Deimos...I was...in the middle...of- Ah! S’vathanae!”
I couldn’t help it. Her blood tasted like it smelled, that sort of charged-atmosphere tang, and it was invigorating.
“Y-you should really...stop that...unless you want to go another round...”
I paused for a moment and looked at her lustfully.
“Well, you make such a persuasive argument,” I told her, indicating her naked body.
“You are a shameless pervert, d’you know th-”
She emitted a very undignified noise of pleasure as I pulled her hips roughly against mine, and she went quiet as she pushed me back against the bed.
We eventually got out of bed, and Lorelei got dressed ready for the day. I needed to get into something other than the suit I wore to the party, so I went back to my quarters while Lori went to the office to prepare the reports and a morning meal.
I entered the office to find her sat in front of my desk, as she often did when we had breakfast, sipping her morning glass of blood and looking thoughtful.
I closed the door and sat down, and she passed me the other glass of blood and took hold of my right hand.
“There’s one other thing I wanted to talk to you about,” she said, running her thumb over the ring that adorned that particular hand.
My wedding ring.
“I think it’s time you took this off your finger now.” She looked at me affectionately, probably hoping she hadn’t offended me or hurt my feelings. “I don’t mean take it off completely, because I have no right to ask that, but I don’t want people to think we’re married.”
“I would, I just...I don’t have anywhere to put it.”
She thought for a moment, then hurriedly told me she’d return in a moment. Shortly afterwards she came back in, holding a slender gold chain. She reached out for the ring, and while I couldn’t bring myself to move my hand to hers, I didn’t stop her taking it either. She slipped the ring onto the chain, moved around behind me and fastened it around my neck.
“There, how’s that?”
“Odd,” I replied, rubbing the space on my finger where the ring had been. “But it’s comfortable enough. Thank you,” I told her with a smile. Then a thought struck me.
“You said this morning that you wanted to see this through to the end,” I said, and she nodded. “Does that mean you’d like to get married?”
She didn’t answer immediately, instead taking a moment to consider it. I appreciated that.
“I’d like it to be an option,” she said at last. “I don’t know where our relationship will go or how long it’ll last, but I’d like that option to be there.” She seemed to think again. “I’d like it if we got there. Like Corvi I never married, but she didn’t marry because she never found the right man; I never married because I didn’t trust any of them.”
I nodded thoughtfully, sipping from my glass as I considered her words.
“Mind if I ask you something?” she asked, and I nodded. “When you said last night you wanted to ‘take it slow’...what exactly did you mean? After all, we’ve already had sex twice, and I really don’t want that to be it.”
I couldn’t help but smile and blush at the same time.
“I�
�m glad you had fun.”
“Well it sure beats using my hand.” The way she said things like that so casually was something of a shock to me. Corvina had been a shy and reserved lover, at least for the first few months until she got used to being in love. Lorelei, by contrast, was an intensely passionate woman, who was never shy about stating her feelings or personal habits with those she trusted.
She grinned as my sudden surprise caused me to choke a little on the blood I was drinking.
“That’ll give you something to think about,” she told me, still flashing that cheeky grin behind her glass.
“I guess,” I started, when I’d finally recovered, “what I meant was...well, Corvi and I, our relationship moved fast. We declared our love quickly, we were engaged and married fairly quickly, it was...fast. It felt right at the time, obviously, but...I just don’t want to go charging headlong into another relationship and spoil it all by rushing it.”
“Do you think you and Corvi were ‘spoiled’?” she asked, her tone merely conversational.
“No, like I said it was right at the time. I guess...I guess this time, I’m afraid. Afraid of getting too close too fast, just to lose it all again.”
She leaned forward and took my hand again, stroking it gently.
“I understand, Eyathehn,” she said quietly, and I genuinely believed she did. “So we’ll take this one step at a time, and let it take its own course.”
I nodded, and gave her a weak smile.
“Sounds good hon.”
“Right, glad we got that sorted,” she announced, and fetched the reports from her desk.
“So, fun things happened,” she told me. “Your little hunch was right. Kara Silvaine made contact with Setra and has reported to the base at Toronto, with the provision that she gets sent here - apparently she’ll only deal with you.”
Of Angel's Blood (Chronicles of The Order Book 2) Page 8