“I’m not!” Tanya volunteered.
Jarek turned around on his horse and stared at her. “You aren’t … never mind!”
They released the horses as soon as they reached the border. Truthfully, Sonja wasn’t at all sorry. Nail hadn’t exaggerated. The horses didn’t care for the beast men at all and she was worn out from battling her horse to keep it from throwing her. The moment they all dismounted and released them, the horses bolted back toward Doral.
Jarek shouldered Sonja’s saddle bags and offered her his hand.
Feeling strangely shy, Sonja took it and smiled up at him.
“I suppose you’re tired?” he said when they’d been walking for a little while.
Sonja’s heart fluttered at the suggestion, but she felt … stripped and vulnerable in a way she never had before. She’d never been with a man, she realized, merely as a woman. She’d always been playing a role and she felt unsure of herself without a script, uncertain of whether or not the real her was the woman he desired. “Actually, I’m starving.”
“We can do something about that,” Byron said cheerfully. “I’m starving myself! We have some stew from earlier we could heat up to hold you until we can get something else going.”
She smiled at him gratefully.
“He’s a wonderful cook,” Tanya offered. “It was the best stew ever.”
Sonja placed a hand over her stomach. “Stop!” she said, chuckling. “I haven’t had anything but berries in days!”
Their reaction disconcerted her. All of them sobered, looked angry—except Tanya, of course, who merely sent her a commiserating glance. Jarek abruptly swept her up into his arms. “You should have said something before,” he said tightly.
Surprised and disturbed that he really seemed angry, Sonja tried to coax him back into the good humor of before. “We were a little preoccupied,” she reminded him lightly. “I’ve survived a lot worse.”
His expression hardened more instead of lightening, but he dropped the subject to her relief. It bothered her, but her delight when they reached the cottage chased it from her mind. She exclaimed over it in pleasure as the men went about lighting the candles and building up the fire in the hearth to warm the promised stew.
She could tell from the way the men looked at one another that they weren’t certain of her sincerity but some of the tension seemed to leave them when Tanya eagerly pointed out the things she’d noticed and asked Jarek if it was alright to show her around. There was still a flicker of suspicion in his eyes, but he nodded.
The suspicion dulled her enthusiasm. The worst of it was that she knew she deserved it, but it made her wonder if she would always see that in his eyes.
Tanya distracted her very effectively by whisking her up the stairs to view the wondrous bath. Giddy with excitement over the treat she was offering, she built a fire to heat water and explained to Sonja how it worked. “And I have a complete change of clothing for you!” she added when she’d finished, then shrugged a little uncomfortably. “I’d bundled two for you but then I didn’t get the chance to collect my own when we left the castle. Jarek was in the great hall when we sat down at the banquet. Of course, I didn’t know it was Jarek then, but I knew from the way he was staring that it had to be one of your men. Anyway, I had to alter the plan once Socorro took ill and everything was in an uproar and I didn’t get the chance to go back to my chamber to retrieve it.
“What happened? I’d expected the horse I left for you to be gone when Jarek and I made it out.”
Sonja glanced around for a place to perch and finally settled on the edge of the tub tiredly. “The servants came back before I’d finished and I had to hide. I suppose I was distracted—thinking about Jarek, you know! Anyway, it was the most terrifying experience. I was so shaken by the time I managed to slip back into the secret passage, I went the wrong way.”
Tanya’s eyes widened with horror. “Oh, you poor thing! I hadn’t thought of that! How in the world did you find your way out? Did you go back?”
Sonja’s lips twisted. “That would’ve been the sensible thing to do, but I wasn’t very sensible at the time. By the time it occurred to me that that was what I should’ve done I was already lost. I finally gathered my wits enough to begin searching for stairs to the lower level and once I found my way down I followed the voices I could hear through the walls.” She stopped for a long moment. “Even so, I’d almost despaired of finding my way out before someone realized what we’d done and sent searchers for the assassin when I heard you and Jarek. It’s chilling to think I might have gone right past the turn if I hadn’t.”
Tanya studied her sister. “He thought I was you,” she said finally.
Sonja frowned. “I know.”
“But you’re still angry? With me? Or him? Or both of us?”
She shrugged. “At the time I was angry with both of you, but so relieved at finding my way it was hard to be very angry even then. I know he thought you were me and, as unreasonable as I know it is, that’s part of why I was angry. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“You don’t have to. I understand.”
Sonja studied her a little doubtfully and Tanya smiled sadly. “You should know I really do understand. You felt like he should have known.”
Sonja nodded. “It’s completely unreasonable, I know, when we’ve worked so hard over the years to make certain no one guessed.”
“But this time you felt magic and you thought he did, too—so he should’ve known.”
“Something like that,” Sonja muttered.
Tanya frowned. “I think he did. It’s hard to explain, but I felt him withdraw even before he pulled away and I could tell he was confused even though I couldn’t see his expression. I guess it was the way he held himself. He didn’t try to kiss me again. I think he just didn’t want to accept that he’d taken the wrong woman and left you.”
Sonja looked at her sister hopefully. “You think?”
Tanya smiled. “I think you shouldn’t worry about it. I think he’s as crazy about you as you are him—they all are. Why don’t you get undressed and bathe while I go get you a bowl of that stew? The water should be warm by now.”
“Oh! Don’t talk about food! My stomach feels like it will cave in! I know I should protest … but would you?”
Tanya laughed. “We’ve grown too soft from the decadence of court! Of course I will. I offered, didn’t I?”
Tanya nearly ran Jarek down on her way out. She fell back, staring up at him, wondering how much he’d overheard. Pretty much all of it, she decided when she’d studied his expression. Smiling inwardly at the thoughtfulness in his eyes, she excused herself. “I’m going down to fetch Sonja some stew. I’ll just leave it in your room, shall I?”
Jarek nodded absently, but she doubted he really noticed what she’d said. She glanced back when she reached the stairs and discovered he’d vanished.
That should be interesting!
* * * *
A jolt went through Sonja when she felt two very large hands push hers away from the laces at her back. Unnerved to realize just how quietly he could move when he wanted to, she twisted her head to look at Jarek questioningly. He was frowning as he loosened her laces. With concentration, she wondered? Or anger?
He had to have overheard, she realized.
No doubt distrust had brought him up to check to make certain she and Tanya hadn’t slipped out a window and vanished, she thought wryly, wondering again if there was any chance she would ever have his trust. It wasn’t going to work if she couldn’t, somehow, earn it, she realized abruptly. They couldn’t find peace and contentment in being together if there was always to be the seeds of doubt and distrust.
Despair flickered through her. She had spoiled it. Before she’d even begun to realize it might mean something to her, she had already destroyed any chance she might have had. Even if he was willing to ignore all the lies and deceit and understand that it had in no way truly been aimed at him but practiced in self-defense and with another targ
et entirely in mind, he knew what she’d done.
Could he ever relax his guard and completely trust an assassin?
No man, she realized, would. The only hope she’d ever had was to continue the charade that she was nothing worse than a con artist and a thief—and even those professions would have been hard to accept.
She’d never really regretted anything she’d done in her life. She’d felt pangs of guilt from time to time, but she’d always salved her conscience with the hard truth. She hadn’t been given a lot of choices in life. She supposed it would’ve been better if she’d been willing to be an honest whore—particularly when she’d been forced to use her body many times to practice her deceptions. But she’d been able to lie to herself even about that. She’d chosen it as a tool for deception. She wasn’t allowing herself to be used for coin. She was using them to earn the money she needed to survive.
Jarek didn’t alleviate her doubts. He said nothing at all, merely helped her to undress and then shucked his breeches and helped her into the tub. She shivered as he stepped away and worked the levers that brought the flow of water cascading down from above them like a waterfall, realizing he must have been inspired by the waterfall at the pool near the caves. As she watched, he crouched to place a stone over the hole where the water drained away and then paused. Apparently deciding against it, he set the stone down again and straightened. Turning to her, he took her hand and drew her under the spray of water with him.
It was surprisingly warm. She hadn’t expected it, even after Tanya had explained.
Taking the soap from the ledge of the pool, he lathered her with it, slowly, more as if he was caressing her than trying to bathe her. She wasn’t certain if that was what he’d intended or not, but it had that effect upon her. Between the silky glide of the water over her and the equally silky glide of his soapy hands, she felt caressed all over, felt vibrant from the top of her head all the way to her toes.
She’d begun to hope he would do far more than merely stroke her skin when he turned his attention to bathing himself. Hesitantly, she took the soap from him and bathed him as he had her, although she didn’t bother making pretense that she had cleaning him in mind. He didn’t protest when she focused most of her loving attention on his cock, but he also didn’t make any attempt to poke her with it as she’d hoped he would.
He shut the water off when it began to grow cool and stepped out. Grabbing a length of haphazardly folded linen from a shelf nearby, he handed it to her and took another for himself.
Sonja discovered her hands were trembling as she briskly dried herself off, but it had nothing to do with the chill that seeped into her from her wet skin. She was still shivering faintly when she’d dried her hair as well as she could, feeling faintly fevered from the internal heat he’d generated. Ever hopeful that he meant to appease the need that had begun to churn inside of her, she simply wrapped up in the linen when she’d finished.
“Tanya said she would bring you something to eat,” he said finally, his voice roughened.
She’d told him? Or he’d overheard it?
Settling a hand on her hip, he guided her from the bathing chamber and into the bedchamber that adjoined it. Sonja’s heart leapt when he drew her to the bed, but he left her there. Disconcerted, she debated whether to climb in or not, watching him hungrily as he moved to a small table. Instead of picking up the dishes there, he lifted the table and brought to set it beside the bed.
Picking up a bowl, he handed it to her. “Careful! It’s hot!”
It was. Using the edge of the linen to protect her hands from the heat, she glanced around for a place to sit.
Jarek picked up his own bowl and climbed to sit in the center of the bed, propping his back against the headboard. Shrugging inwardly, Sonja joined him.
Food first and then coupling!
She was almost disinterested in the stew now. Her stomach gave that thought the lie, however, as soon as she tasted her first bite. She closed her eyes in pain as her jaws cramped.
“Too hot?”
It took her a moment to answer. She smiled ruefully. “I haven’t eaten anything in so long my salivary glands cramped,” she said with a chuckle. “It’s perfect! Did Byron cook it?”
Jarek grinned ruefully in return. “He’s the only one of us that can cook anything that’s actually edible.”
Sonja focused on her stew until she’d cleaned the bowl. When she’d set it back on the table and drank the water in the mug, she slipped down on the bed a little more comfortably.
“I’m not too bad a cook,” she murmured as Jarek leaned over her to set his own empty bowl down.
He glanced at her sharply, but took his own mug and emptied it before he settled back, rolling onto his side to study her profile. “Is that an offer?”
Sonja studied her hands, struggling to control the heat that rose in her cheeks. “I just thought I’d mention it in case you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t.”
Chapter Eighteen
An unswallowable knot rose in Sonja’s throat. “Oh.”
Jarek settled a hand on her shoulder and pulled her down until they were face to face. “Because I don’t care. I’ve survived this long on the gods awful food we have around here. If you can do better, it would be greatly and humbly appreciated. If not….” He shrugged. “I’m not looking for a servant.”
Hope rose but it didn’t quell the lump in her throat. She swallowed with an effort, chastised herself for being a complete coward and finally met his gaze. “What are you looking for?”
“I wasn’t sure until I met you. Someone just exactly like you.”
Warmth and relief flowed through her, making her feel weak and curiously close to tears. “Like me? Or me?”
He leaned close enough to nuzzle his face against hers. “You,” he murmured huskily, finally matching his lips to hers.
It sent a thrill all the way through her to her toes when she felt the heat of his mouth settle over hers. Her toes curled as his essence inundated her, entwined with her soul deep and made her drunk with delight. She curled her arms around him, shifting closer to press fully against him.
“Make me yours,” she whispered dizzily when he broke the kiss at last and lifted his head to look down at her, lifting her eyelids slowly to meet his gaze.
Heat blazed in his eyes. He lowered his head again, nuzzling her throat, sucking open mouth kisses. “I thought I’d have to work harder to convince you,” he murmured, amusement threading his voice.
“Ravish me, then, and take it! I was always yours anyway. From the moment I first saw you naked all I could think was, ‘I want this beautiful man to be mine.’”
She felt him smile against her skin. Despite the teasing nature of his comment and her retort, he seemed to take her at her word.
Or mayhap he was as impatient with waiting as she was?
He nicked the side of her neck with his sharp canines, sucking the sting away and then worked his way downward, lavishing her sensitive breasts with the thrilling pull of his mouth and the tease of his tongue until she thought she would pass out. When she thought she couldn’t stand it anymore, he moved lower, tracing a trail of fire along her belly and then moving between her thighs. She stared at him with glazed, feverish eyes as he bent his head to tease her mercilessly with kisses along her inner thighs until she was writhing helplessly beneath his touch, desperate to feel his mouth on her womanhood.
She climaxed almost the moment he finally settled his mouth over her clit and pulled at it with his hot mouth. Disappointment flickered through her mind and vanished as he suckled the exquisitely tender nub until she was gasping hoarsely. Moving his mouth from her clit to the juncture of her thigh, he nicked her upper thigh as he had her neck. It sent another, harder spasm through her when she’d thought her climax had already peaked.
A groan escaped her as he began to work his way upward as he had on the trip down, nibbling, lightly suckling and nipping at her with the edge of his teeth. She w
as already on fire again by the time he nuzzled his face between her breasts. He kissed each, briefly and lifted his head. Arching his back and bracing his upper body on his arms to watch her, he cupped his hips to join their bodies, pumping with slow deliberation until he’d sheathed his thick flesh deeply within her. He paused then, a look on his face that she couldn’t entirely fathom.
Slowly, he lowered his head until his lips hovered just above her breasts, above her heart, curling his back to remain deeply inside of her. “This mark is the mate claiming, the binding,” he murmured raggedly.
She threaded her fingers into his hair, cupping his head and pulling him to her even as she arched her back in offering. A hard shudder rippled through him and found its way inside of her when he nicked the tender flesh as he had before.
“Mine,” he growled in triumph when he lifted his head, shifting to curl his arms tightly around her and setting a savage pace almost at once. She lifted to meet each thrust with a thrill of excitement that built in intensity until it shattered explosively, dragging sharp cries of ecstasy from her. His hips jerked involuntarily as his seed jetted from his body. He groaned, struggled to maintain the rhythm until she’d peaked and then collapsed heavily against her, pumping his hips until he’d emptied his seed into her.
* * * *
Torn between amusement and irritation, Tanya finally gave up on trying to hold a polite conversation with the wolf pack. Clearly, they were as well aware of what was transpiring upstairs as she was. Unlike her, however, they made no bones about their absolute fascination with the proceedings.
Almost as if they knew the very moment Jarek and Sonja had finally gotten down to the business of thoroughly reacquainting themselves with each other, they’d trained their eyes on the ceiling as if they might see through it if they strained hard enough.
For the sake of politeness, she’d struggled to drag first one and then another into conversation, but their absent replies—when she got any response at all—finally left her with nothing to think of to say.
Piqued, she glared at them, but they were as oblivious to her displeasure as they had been to her attempts at polite conversation. Shaking her head with a mixture of disgust and amusement, she finally got up. “I believe I’ll take a stroll down to the border and see if I can convince Loki to ravish me,” she said coolly.
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