Then his mind flashed to her sprinting out of the woods and her throwing herself to her knees in front of him after the dog attack. He closed his eyes. She’d done it saving him. “Mandy, you did this when you ran to save me from my own stupidity.”
Her only comment was a dry, “Well, hell! That’s two pair of jeans ruined on the job, one on site yesterday, and one saving the boss’s ass today. I can put it on the company expense report, right?” Then she added in a darker tone, while digging ammunition out of her pocket. “Give me back my gun. I want it fully loaded. No telling what else will happen today.”
He chuckled a little sadly, handing her the revolver. He still hadn’t gotten an answer from her about allowing him to try to fix his mistakes.
“Yes, you may put them on your expense report. Now, let’s get you patched up, and get off this damned mountain. The view is getting tired.”
* * * *
They stepped into the cottage just before dusk was beginning to settle over the valley. Actually, Zack stepped into the cottage. Amanda was sound asleep in his arms. She’d pooped out as soon as they got down to the base of the mountain on the way home.
He had been pleasantly surprised that Amanda had a small but complete medical kit in the backpack, but he shouldn’t have been. She’d been prepared for everything they’d done that day. He’d cleaned her leg up best he could and bandaged it. She’d made it down the mountain on her own two feet, with his assistance here and there over some rough patches. At the bottom though, she’d begged for a break. The migraine medicine had kicked in and she’d lost a good bit of blood, too. She was literally staggering on her feet.
He sat them on a downed tree and pulled her onto his lap. She hadn’t complained or fought him over it, so he took a small comfort in that. Perhaps the door wasn’t entirely closed? She curled up on his lap, with her head tucked under his chin. Within two minutes her whole body had relaxed against his. She was completely out. He could have woken her but was enjoying the feel of her in his arms so he’d decided to carry her. She was such a lightweight it hadn’t bothered him at all, for a while. But he had to admit that after a quarter mile of carrying almost one hundred pounds of dead weight, he was more than ready to set her down.
His muscles trembled at the release of position after he laid her on the bed, and he shook them out, trying to ease the strain. Then he busted out laughing as he realized that he’d have to take her pants off, again. He’d never undressed one woman so many times without doing much more than that. Hell, if he could control that impulse, he could control anything, right?
As he removed her boots, socks, gun holster, and yes, her jeans, which were blood soaked and drying to an ugly reddish-brown color, she groggily came to, though only halfway.
“Zack, what is it about you and removing my pants, huh?”
He chuckled. “At least I’m not trying to get into your pants,” he insinuated jokingly.
He was both amused and bemused when he heard Amanda’s drugged response of, “Who says I wouldn’t want you too?” before she passed back out.
Chapter 9:
Past, Present, and Future
July 2
It wasn’t quite dawn yet that Saturday morning, the sky just beginning to turn a hazy grayish blue with a hint of pink as the sun struggled to make its ascent. Amanda was watching Zack sleep beside her in the dimness of the pre-dawn. She’d been awake for almost an hour already, having fallen asleep so early the evening before. She vaguely remembered passing out on him once they’d gotten off the mountain. The poor guy must have carried her the rest of the way home, for she sure as hell didn’t remember walking it!
She hadn’t been in the least surprised to find him in her bed, again, wrapped around her. It didn’t even occur to her to resent the fact that he felt he had the right to lay with her, despite their hurtful arguments the day before. It felt too good, and, to be honest, she wanted him next to her. He made her feel safe, physically anyway. Her emotional safety was an entirely different story. She felt like she was walking a high wire without a safety net beneath her regarding her emotional health.
Lightly snoring, his warm breath gently stirred the hair at her temple. He lay on his side facing her and had his arm slung possessively across her middle, one heavy thigh and knee hooked over hers, holding her to him. Even in his sleep he felt a need to touch her, keep her close. Perhaps even possess her? She wondered how much her dreams and nightmares had disrupted his sleep. His hyper-vigilant emotional readings had to cause him problems when he slept with someone. She felt guilty as she considered the fact that she probably didn’t allow the poor man much rest. God knew she got very little.
She studied him for several minutes. He needed a trim. His thick black hair tumbled over his forehead, nearly to his brow. She reached out tenderly to brush it away from his face, enjoying the soft as silk feeling as she rubbed a lock between her thumb and fingers. His face, softened in sleep, had lost the cunning and businesslike mask he usually wore. She winced as she very gently ran her hand across his bruised and beard-stubbled cheek. She’d done the bruising and wouldn’t forgive herself easily for that, even if he already had. He always seemed to bring out the worst in her temper. Regardless, she needed to learn some control herself. Lightly, she ran her fingers down his chest, shoulder and arm, barely touching him, not wanting to wake him, just wanting to explore him, learn him.
“You keep that up and you’re going to find out just how awake I am.” His husky morning voice startled her and her eyes flew up to find his half open and burning with desire. He ground his hips against the side of her leg. He was definitely wide awake. Through his boxer briefs she could feel his hardness pressed against her thigh.
“Not that I’m complaining. It’s a wonderful way to start the day.” He waggled his brows at her, only half joking. If she said yes, he’d be all over her in a heartbeat.
Amanda felt a fiery rush run through her that had nothing to do with pain. She was very tempted but she still hadn’t made up her mind if she wanted to stay in this with him. His body was gorgeous, his soul was good and gentle, but his control freak tendencies would be the ruin of them if he couldn’t control himself. And if he couldn’t control himself, Amanda thought, she might end up beating him to a bloody pulp, if their past history was anything to base their future on.
She sighed and dropped her hand, then made an attempt at cooling their sexual fevers by talking about the mundane. “I’ve got to take a shower and brush my teeth. I’m grimy and gross,” she declared.
“Want some help? I wouldn’t mind at all washing your back.” His sexy voice made her tremble with yearning. Get out of bed, Amanda, she told herself.
“Maybe I’ll make it a cold shower,” she muttered. Unaware she’d said it aloud, she was surprised when she heard Zack’s deep chuckle. She had to laugh, too. Whatever problems they had with each other, it wasn’t going to be in the bedroom.
She sat up and threw back the covers to find herself clad in only a T-shirt, bra, and panties. “We really need to talk about the pants issue, Zack,” she half joked.
“And here, just last night, you told me you wouldn’t mind me getting in your pants, and all I did was take ’em off,” he teased.
She shot to her feet on the hardwood floor, looking at him in horror, and wincing at the pain in her leg. “I didn’t!” she protested vehemently.
His grin widened, and he had a wicked look on his face. “You most certainly did.”
He was enjoying her discomfort, and the pink flush that had risen over her cheeks due to her embarrassment. He also very clearly read her heightened sexual desire. Well, he thought, he had to start somewhere. If he could turn her on, he might still be able to weasel his way back into her good graces in other ways, too.
Amanda was at a loss for words, so she just stared at him for a minute. Then she grabbed her robe and hobbled as quickly as she could to the bathroom. A cold shower was definitely in order. Despite the doctor’s order she removed her b
race and ripped the bandages from her leg. She couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to wash her hair, and every part of her had been exposed to mud and blood for the past two days. When she’d told him she felt gross, she’d meant it.
Despite her initial thoughts of a cold shower, she stood under the hot spray of it instead, for a long time, enjoying the warmth. She tried to only use her good hand to wash with, and that was damned hard when she really needed to wash her hair, so she grumbled and cursed at the pain she caused herself. Her leg stung with fiery pain as the hot water and soap ran over and through the deep cut and she hissed, breathing through it.
Getting out, she toweled off and placed her leg on the closed toilet seat to take a better look at it. She had literally ripped it wide open yesterday—she closed her eyes and tried not to cry at the thought of having to go back to the emergency department.
As she reentered her bedroom clad in only a short silky robe, her damp hair falling in a tangle down her back, Zack had to fight his inner caveman to not grab her, throw her on the bed, and have his way with her. He still had a hard-on that wouldn’t quit. With some difficulty he put his lust on the back burner when he saw her limping.
“I guess we’ll need to go back to the hospital to get this fixed. I’m sorry, but I’ll need you to drive me.” She hated to ask him for help, but knew she wouldn’t be in any shape to drive home afterward. “I know you have to get to Becca’s party today, so maybe if we leave soon we’ll be back in time for you to head home?”
Zack thought for a few moments. He really wanted to spend the weekend with her, but got the feeling she was going to give him the brush-off once they returned. But, she hadn’t made her decision yet, or at least she hadn’t voiced it. That was good and bad. He tried to console himself. At least she hadn’t given him the heave-ho, yet.
He hesitated so long with his thoughts that Amanda jumped to conclusions. “Never mind,” she said, waving her hand at him. “I can take myself. It’s the left leg, so I don’t have to worry about driving with it, and the local anesthetic won’t knock me out or anything. I don’t know what I was even thinking.”
“How about coming with me to Becca’s party?” he asked. Then he held his breath, waiting for her to turn him down.
“Zack, your family is not going to want a stranger coming to your sister’s party.”
That wasn’t precisely a no, he thought.
“And, I really do need to get these stitches redone. I’ve just reopened the cut and it won’t stop bleeding.” She gestured to her foot. He looked down and, sure enough, blood was trickling down her leg, over her foot, and onto the floor.
“Shit! Sit down at the vanity. I’ll be right back.” Even though still clad in only his briefs, he jogged barefoot out to his truck and took out his medical supplies. Hers had been severely depleted on Friday. He’d have to make sure he replenished them. God knew, where Amanda was concerned, she needed to be fully stocked.
Amanda sat and wrapped her wet towel around her leg to keep from dripping more blood on the floor as she waited. Jeez, her leg throbbed and it was hot to the touch around the cut. She figured it had probably gotten infected from their hiking adventures of the previous day.
“Wonderful!” she grumbled under her breath.
She looked up as Zack walked back in, carrying a large medical bag. He dropped it on the foot of the bed and then went to the bath to grab a couple of towels and washcloths.
“Why all the stuff? I just need you to rebandage it for me so we can get going. You look like you’re setting up for surgery.” Then she paled as she figured it out. He thought he’d take care of it here. Oh no! “Zack? What are you up to? You are not doing that here!” Her voice climbed in panic.
“Do you really want to drive an hour away to get restitched when we can do it right here and now?” he asked with raised brows. He suddenly bent and picked her up, carrying her to the bed and sitting her against the headboard. He propped her bleeding leg on one of the towels he’d spread over a pillow on the bed. “I can promise it won’t hurt a bit, if you’ll let me suppress your pain levels. I’m asking nicely,” he joked.
He waited while she stared at him, apparently trying to make up her mind. He pressed a sterile pad to her wound to stop the bleeding. If she was hell bent on going to the hospital he’d take her, but hoped she’d let him treat her himself.
There was no way he could have done this with her on Thursday. First, he hadn’t told her about his talents yet. Second, she’d never have calmed down enough for it to work. She’d needed to understand it all and that had required their awful conversation from yesterday. And third, she’d needed to have her wrist X-rayed anyway, and while he could deaden pain, he wasn’t Superman, he didn’t have X-ray vision. Today, he thought, he might be able to get her to cooperate.
He didn’t have any anesthetic, but he did have his own particular brand of skills that were quite effective, and sometimes even better. He could put her to sleep with a touch, no drug-induced side effects, no needles. He could also dull the pain she experienced while conscious, but he was nervous about that with her because her psyche fought his so hard. He’d have to convince her to let him knock her out for a short while. Even that might be difficult if she was nervous, but it was easier than trying to balance a fine line between dulling a pain and keeping her awake.
“I can put you to sleep, right here, for just a little while and get it done quickly,” he said encouragingly. “I actually wanted to do it last night, while the migraine meds had you passed out, that would have helped you respond better to me, but I promised you I wouldn’t influence you without your permission.” He also explained the alternative of trying to dull the pain while she was awake and, wanting to be honest, told her that he wasn’t sure it would work as well as it did on others because her will was so strong and fought his. His actual thought was, if he tried to take care of this while she was conscious and watching, he didn’t think there was a chance in hell it would work.
He could tell she wasn’t at all thrilled with his idea. “Come on, Mandy, let me help you. Honestly, I can sew better than Lombardi any day,” he told her. She gave him a tight smile in return for his humor, but began trembling in fear.
“I really don’t want to have to feel you doing this. It might be a better idea to just head out to the hospital now.”
Zack tried to brainstorm. “How about you let me show you a little of what I can do, and then, if you still want to go to the hospital, I’ll take you?”
She shook harder and firmly told him. “I don’t want you sewing that up without deadening the area, Zack.”
“Okay, just let me touch near the wound. My hand is already on it anyway to stop the bleeding. I won’t do anything else till you give me the go-ahead, okay? I want to show you how it feels if I can lessen or deaden the pain before I work on it. Will you at least let me do that?” He backed off and let her think. She didn’t trust him now, and that was his fault. He would abide by her wishes no matter her answer. He just wanted the chance to try.
Finally, she grudgingly gave him the go-ahead. “Show me, but just the near the cut okay?”
With his palm already pressing on the wound, he spread his fingers to the surrounding area and pushed with his mind, sending out calming signals to the nerves in the surrounding tissue. He didn’t attempt to deaden the pain altogether because he’d need to save some energy if he was going to have to put her to sleep, especially if she mentally fought him on it. After a minute he looked up at her anxiously and removed his hand.
“Well? What do you think?”
Initially, Amanda had felt a warmth seeping from his hand and fingers, then that warmth abruptly got hotter. Strange as it sounded, the heat hadn’t burned, but it had considerably lessened the pain. As Zack removed his hand she felt the nerve endings slowly come to life once more, kind of like when your foot fell asleep and then as it regained circulation, she thought.
“Amanda?” He was still waiting for her approval. “Tr
ust me. I really do promise I won’t hurt you.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Uh huh,” was her sarcastic comment.
Sighing, Zack got up off the bed and then leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. “I’m still not forgiven yet, am I?” he asked lightly, though he felt heartsick.
“Okay, come on. Let’s get you ready to go to the hospital.” He stood back to offer her a hand getting to her feet. He didn’t blame her for not trusting him, but he was sad he’d screwed up so badly that it came to this.
Amanda saw his face fall when she’d shown her unwillingness to believe him. He looked like a little boy who’d been denied his Christmas presents. Oh dear Lord! It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him not to hurt her physically. She’d been responding to the emotional whiplashing he’d given her.
“No, Zack. Go on and do it your way. I know you won’t hurt me, physically.” She felt free to qualify her thoughts to him. He needed to know that she didn’t trust him with her emotional framework anymore and that he’d have to prove himself to her. She’d warned him yesterday. As she thought about it, it occurred to her that meant she was going to give him the chance to redeem himself. “And, you are forgiven, but that doesn’t mean it’s forgotten, got it?”
His relief was obvious, as was the fact that he’d understood what lay underneath her words. “I got it,” he said quietly. “Alrighty, now this is up to you. Do you want me to try to localize it and keep you awake, or put you to sleep?” Again, her decision, he told himself, but he’d much rather knock her out and not worry about walking that fine line. If her responses weren’t so damned unpredictable…
“Knock me out, if you can,” she replied and he heaved a sigh of relief. “It won’t be for long right? I’ll be able to get up and moving soon? I’ve got tons to do and this bum leg of mine is holding me back.” Even though she was nervous she tried to lighten it up for him.
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 24