“You’re mine now. You belong to me,” he reiterated harshly. “Tell me, again, you’re mine,” he commanded, his gaze burning brightly, holding hers, searing her mind with his very real intent. His demand was much more than a playful endeavor to tighten their sexual bond. He was seriously asking her to examine their relationship, such as it was. He was asking her to admit that their joining together bodily was more than simple desire, it was an extension of the depth of their feelings for each other.
With effort Amanda focused her gaze on his. “I belong with you, Zachary. I’m yours.” She responded just as seriously, as she deliberately tightened her vaginal muscles around his cock, milking what very little control he had.
He paused, breathing hard, trying to gather his sanity once more. He told himself again, for Amanda’s sake, go slowly. But when she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, her heels pressing into his ass, and told him again, “I belong with you, Zack,” and thrust her hips against him, he lost the battle of wills and began moving inside her, the fire in his belly building to a blaze of white-hot heat.
“We belong together and to each other,” he told her gravely. Withdrawing and then burying himself to the hilt deep inside her he got no argument, only her softly gasped agreement. He leaned down to her kiss swollen mouth and parted her lips with his, staking ownership twice.
Was he competitive? You betcha! He was tired of sharing her with memories, and unwilling to share her even with her dead husband, the ghostly matchmaker.
With deep, smooth, sure strokes he built the anticipation for both of them, at the end nearly slamming himself inside of her, grinding against her clit with each thrust until he could hold back no longer.
“Come for me, Mandy,” he commanded.
At his words he felt Amanda’s muscles ripple, clench, and spasm around his throbbing member and heard her gasp his name. Only then did he finally allow himself his own release as every muscle in his own body locked and fire rocketed through his veins with the strongest climax he’d ever experienced, his tight tortured balls releasing stream after hot stream of cum. His mind spun in elation at his oneness with Amanda and the release he’d finally granted himself. He’d been wrong on that mountain top. This was Heaven. Being inside of her, lying against her, sharing all of himself with her. This was Heaven.
“Mandy…oh God! Mandy!” he cried out as he spent himself over and over again inside her hot clenching walls.
Amanda was exhausted and thoroughly sated. She didn’t remember ever feeling anything as strongly as she had tonight. She struggled not to compare the two men in her life, and there had been only two. She’d been a virgin at her wedding. That being the case, and in all fairness to Zack, she made herself concentrate on the here and now, rather than what she’d had with David.
She felt like she’d been reduced to the consistency of jelly, soft and quivery all over. Zack was a dominant but exquisitely wonderful and considerate lover, of that much she was certain. He was also an artist of superb sexual torture too. She smiled, lazily replaying his kisses, love bites, and touches in her mind. Hot damn! She felt a quiver deep inside her and if she’d been able to move she would have ravished him. He wasn’t just good. He was phenomenal! Long moments after she’d recovered she told him so and felt his entire frame shake with his laughter.
“Glad to hear you enjoyed it,” he understated, chuckling as he hugged her tightly to him.
When he’d collapsed on top of her, after his own climax, she didn’t mind the weight of his body on hers. It felt good, right, and comforting. She also didn’t mind that he’d gone out of his way to mark her indelibly as his own, even having left multiple love bite marks. His every action tonight had screamed his possession of her body, there had not been an inch of her he had not touched, tasted, or kissed. She was okay with that, he was just as equally given to her. He’d said they belonged together, and to each other. He couldn’t have stated truer words. She knew he was just as much hers and maybe even more so because he was holding back nothing. She still had a small part of herself locked away. Dare she give him everything? Dare she fully trust this would work out for them? Like Scarlett O’Hara, she determined that she’d think about it tomorrow.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, nuzzled his neck, and kissed his shoulder. Falling asleep with him lying on top of her, their legs still entwined and him still physically joined to her, felt like the most natural thing in the world. She released a deep-seated sigh of satisfaction and dozed off, feeling complete for the first time in a long time.
Zack allowed himself to remain glued to Amanda’s body inside and out for several minutes while he recuperated, enjoying the feel of her small delicate body beneath his. When she fell asleep he gently kissed her parted lips and disengaged from her, rising to lift her limp form and place her under the covers. He crawled back in on the other side and lay down next to her.
Stroking back the mass of tangled burnished hair from her face, David’s words came back to haunt him. She’ll try to cut you loose, Zack, even as you try to hold on tighter. She’ll justify her reasons in whatever way she can to keep from being hurt. He felt a chill chase through him, a premonition that he would lose her when he’d only just begun to win her over.
He again quietly told her, hoping her subconscious would pick it up. “Babe, don’t fight it, don’t forget it, and please don’t run from it. We do belong together.” Maybe, somewhere deep inside, she heard him, maybe not, but she murmured in her sleep, “Love you, Zack,” and he felt his heart would burst.
“I love you too, Mandy,” he whispered as he tenderly kissed her temple.
He wondered if she would remember her words in the morning, but doubted she would. She wasn’t ready to say it aloud just yet, but he could wait for her conscious mind to catch up to her heart. He’d been deeply touched by her, and the mark she’d left on his heart would be an indelible one. He only hoped that he’d get the chance to experience Amanda’s touch for a long time to come.
Throwing one arm across her middle and one long leg across her thighs, he held her to him as he drifted off, thinking that, even in his sleep, he needed to be sure no one took her from him. Knowing that the only man who could keep them apart may have been watching the whole time they’d made love. Well, he decided, if David needed to play voyeur he couldn’t complain that Zack hadn’t treated his “sweet girl” right! On that disturbing note Zack finally dozed off.
* * * *
July 3
Sunday morning dawned cloudy, with spitting rain, and Amanda lazily watched it for a few minutes as it rolled down the French doors of the bedroom that led to the backyard. Carefully, she rose, trying not to wake Zachary. Gently, she slipped his arm from her belly and eased her legs out from under his, hissing in pain as she dragged the stitches in her leg from under his weight. He grunted unhappily in his sleep as she left his side and she laughed softly, he didn’t want her gone. He wanted her right beside him. She leaned down, lightly caressed his cheek, and tenderly kissed his forehead.
He was the most overprotective and possessive man she’d ever been with. Of course, that went hand in hand with his tendency to want to control as well. This relationship was very different from the one she’d had with David. David had been confident and easygoing. He protected her when she needed it but, by and large, he’d remained hands-off when it came to trying to manage her, understanding her need for independence. She was going to have to school dominant, alpha male Zack in a few home truths about that and he wasn’t going to like it much. Dominance in bed was one thing, and she’d always enjoyed that with David, and now would with Zack as well. However, dominance outside of the bedroom was a no go. She was way too independent for that particular type of bullshit.
Zack, too, was confident, but he had this overwhelming need to protect and watch over others. She didn’t want that to get blown out of proportion with her. His possessive tendencies she understood clearly, she read it from him. He felt insecure and felt that he was in
competition with David, so he was doing his best to mark her as his own. She was okay with that, she had come to the realization last night that she was now his, heart, body, and soul. She didn’t want him to feel threatened by her dead husband. She figured the only way to convince him his status was secure was to keep telling him until he believed her, or maybe until she fully believed it as well? She kept forgetting he could read her feelings. He must be picking up on her hesitancy, miniscule as it was. No wonder he was going to such great lengths to mark his territory. Semihumorously, she looked down at the numerous hickeys covering her body.
Her thigh muscles quivered as she stretched them and she paused for few seconds, trying to restore the blood flow to her legs. Zack’s weight had had her pinned, for most of the night in one position, but she’d been too tired to notice, or even try to move apparently.
Quietly moving into the bathroom she noticed her leg was hurting a hell of a lot worse than it had yesterday and put it down to the extracurricular activities of the evening. She hadn’t even noticed the stitches during their lovemaking. Of course Zack may have been deadening the area and, God knew, she had been absorbed in other things. Grabbing a razor from her overnight bag, and a towel from the linen closet, she headed to the shower. She wanted a long hot one to ease the strain on her muscles. She’d used muscles last night she forgot she even had. She smiled as she noticed a slight tenderness between her legs. It had been a long time.
She stopped cold as she suddenly realized they hadn’t used any protection whatsoever. It wasn’t even something she was used to thinking about. She and David had never taken any precautions because they would have been happy to welcome a child. Then, of course, since he’d passed away she’d had no reason to think about it at all. She’d never been on birth control of any kind. She’d better look into it, pronto. She decided to call her gynecologist the next morning. Oh hell, that would be the Fourth of July! Okay then, Tuesday would have to do, and in the meantime Zack would have to stop at the drug store. She wasn’t ready to deal with a pregnancy on top of a new relationship and ghostly visitations.
She took her time in the shower, relishing the relaxing spray that beat down on her body. Again, she cursed through the hair washing that caused the pain in her wrist to flare. Leaning down to shave her legs she saw why the left was bothering her so much more today than yesterday. It was definitely infected and, between the hullabaloo of telling Zack about the Tabotts and the preparations for the party, they’d both forgotten about the damned thing. She’d have him wash it down for her with that antibiotic solvent and pick up the prescription he’d called in for it. She figured while he was at it he could also order her birth control pills as well. Problem solved, she thought with a sigh of relief.
She was seated at the vanity in the bath area, wrapped in one of his huge bath towels and trying rather unsuccessfully to untangle her thick hair, when Zack strolled in, clad in absolutely nothing. Jesus! A flare of heat began in her belly and swarmed through her. He came up behind her, lifted her damp hair out of the way, and casually dropped a lingering kiss on one bare shoulder, causing a shudder of desire to ripple through her. He gave her a sexy smile as he felt it wash off of her and teasingly trailed a fingertip along her collarbone, eliciting a soft gasp.
“I just got out of the shower.” She halfheartedly warned him off.
“If you had waited, or woken me, we could have showered together,” he responded. This time she felt an additional rush of heat between her legs and primly pressed her knees together, causing Zack to give a deep chuckle.
She swatted him away telling him that they needed to talk, causing him to look at her in concern. “Nothing bad, just a few things we need to straighten away. Go wash up. We’ll talk when you get out.”
She pushed him toward the shower before they wound up back in his bed. There would be no more sex until he, or she, had protection, though she would have been surprised if he didn’t have something on hand already. God knew he was gorgeous. He must have women panting after him all the time. Surely the man had some condoms. They just hadn’t stopped long enough to think about it last night. Today, she was ashamed of herself for not doing so.
A half hour later Zack found her in the kitchen making breakfast. His stomach rumbled audibly as he smelled blueberry pancakes, syrup, and bacon.
“God, that smells good! And you smell delectable,” he slipped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. She rested hers back against his shoulder and looked up at him, smiling warmly, which alleviated his concerns, a little. He’d been worrying about this talk she insisted on having and was wondering if she was regretting last night.
“Grab some plates and set the table,” she directed him as she deftly ran the turner beneath each pancake, flipping them expertly with one hand. “Oh, and pull the bacon out of the oven, I put it in there to keep warm. The syrup and butter are on the table.”
Doing as instructed, he set the table and poured them each a cup of coffee that had just finished brewing. He pulled out the creamer and sugar and set both on the table, not sure how she took it. He was amazed at how homey the experience was, how natural it was to have her in his home, his bed, his kitchen, and his heart.
As they settled in to eat, they spoke companionably about the coming day and their plans for it. She told him that she’d talked to Diane while he showered and needed him to drop her off there when they were done, asking him to swing by her home first so she could grab a few things. He told her he had some business matters to attend to and would be at the office for the duration of her visit at Di’s, and asked her to call him when she and Diane were through, then he reminded her about the early dinner at his parents’ home at three that afternoon.
Finally, his curiosity, and nerves, got the best of him and he asked her what she wanted to talk to him about. He watched her face as she went blank for moment, apparently trying to remember, and he relaxed as she laughed at herself. It couldn’t be too important if she had to think about it, he thought. Whew! He was just about to find out how wrong he was.
“Sorry! I’ve been thinking about Diane and forgot all about what I wanted!”
She got up to clear away the dishes and began rinsing them and loading the dishwasher as she spoke. “Well, first of all I wanted to remind you that we didn’t use any protection last night.” She turned as she heard Zack curse and saw him shake his head at his stupidity while rubbing a hand over his face.
“Oh Christ, Mandy. I’m so sorry. What the hell was I thinking?” As she smiled at him he began to laugh. “Guess I wasn’t thinking at all, huh?”
“Neither of us was. It wasn’t only your fault. It takes two you know,” she told him lightly.
“I also wanted to let you know that I’m not on any kind of birth control. I’ve never used it. I know it was a mistake, and I was dumb, I just didn’t think about it last night.” She turned bright red and Zack wondered what was up.
He didn’t think her embarrassment had only to do with their one-time slip, of which he should be even more embarrassed than she. How many unplanned pregnancies had he dealt with as a physician? He couldn’t even count the number of times he had patients tell him they hadn’t thought about it until it was too late. He’d allowed himself to get carried away and now Amanda might have to, literally, bear the burden of that indiscretion. Just what she needs right now, dumb ass!
He tried to choose his words carefully. “Amanda, you know that if we got pregnant I would be there for you and our child, right? There’s no way I would allow you to go through that alone.” He could feel a myriad of emotions run through her in response to his discussion of a possible pregnancy and saw her swallow hard and try to pull herself together.
He stopped and grabbed for her hand to turn her to him, as her other words registered. He had to ask. “You’ve never used any type of birth control? Ever?” He was shocked because Amanda didn’t strike him as the type to be so irresponsible. Though to be honest, they
’d both been irresponsible last night, hadn’t they?
She flushed a darker scarlet. “No, and it wasn’t because I was being irresponsible either!” She’d picked up that thought from him very easily.
“Well then, why not?” he asked, totally perplexed.
“For fuck’s sake! This conversation is so embarrassing for me. You have no idea!”
Zack smiled at her impishly, he could tell simply from her swear words. “Amanda, we’ve just been as close as any two people can get. A discussion about birth control shouldn’t embarrass you.” He tugged her closer so that she stood between his knees. “For goodness sake, just talk to me.”
“Okay, fine.” She blew out a burst of air between her pursed lips. Looking anywhere but at him she told him, “I was a virgin when David and I married. And after the wedding…well, we would have welcomed a child at any time, so we never used it. And so, you’re the only other man I’ve ever slept with.” She saw Zack bite his lip and try to keep a straight face and gave him a light smack on the arm.
“I know! A twenty-three-year-old virgin. Sounds like a fairy tale, but it was true!”
“Babe, I think it’s great you waited until you were married. I just can’t imagine how David kept his hands to himself. The poor guy!” He ducked as Amanda pretended to smack him again and chuckled.
“Well, if that’s the case, then I’m honored you made love with me last night,” he said more seriously. “That tells me that I’m important to you, and that our being together meant something serious to you. I want you to know that, while I certainly cannot claim to meet your more pristine moral code of conduct, you do mean the world to me and I don’t lightly take on bed partners either, okay? Also, I have used condoms in the past and, medically, I’m clean.”
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 32