“I was right. It had to have been Diane,” he stated confidently and somewhat in awe. When Amanda looked even more confused he asked, “Did she touch your leg today?”
Amanda had to think about it. “Yes. She wanted to see how bad it was. She’s forever teasing me about how clumsy I am. She pulled off the bandage to take a peek. She made a face as she ran her finger along the edge of it, told me it was gross-looking, and smoothed the bandage back over it. Why? What do you mean it was Diane?” As her thought processes caught up with his meaning her jaw dropped.
“I heard Dr. Lombardi say you had a less than twenty percent chance of survival after that accident. Diane told me, herself, that she practically moved into the ICU with you immediately following it, and that she’d been with you for the two weeks you were unconscious. I’ve thought several times there was something special about her, but I couldn’t pin it down. I’ve jokingly told her she’s kept you alive through sheer willpower, but I think I was right. I think she’s a healer!”
He grabbed her left hand and began removing her brace. “What are you doing?” Amanda demanded.
“Did she touch your wrist too?” he asked.
“Uh…” she had to think on it for a few seconds. “Yes, she touched that too. I took off the brace to show her how ugly the bruising is around the break. She held my arm and turned it over to examine it. Then I put the brace back on. I know! I know! I’m supposed to keep it on, but it was only for a minute, Zack. I swear.”
“Roll the wrist, babe. Tell me how it feels,” he ordered, gently pressing around the base of her hand.
She looked at him in consternation. “Are you out of your mind? It’s broken! It’ll hurt like hell!”
“Does this hurt, or this?” He pressed harder on the spot that she’d broken, watching her reaction.
“Are you deadening the pain?” she asked him. It barely hurt at all, just a mild ache, as though it had been many weeks since she’d broken it, rather than days. Keeping his eyes on her face he forced her wrist into an exaggerated slow roll. When she winced just slightly he stopped, apologizing for hurting her.
“How bad was that?” he asked curiously. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad was the pain when I did that?” He let her think for a minute while he put the brace back on her hand. “The bruising is gone, and the swelling is down, too. If I was to X-ray that I’d be willing to bet my life savings that we’d see a four week old break rather than a four day old one. It’s not completely healed yet, but I don’t think it’s going to be much longer before you’ll be good as new.”
“I’d say, maybe, a three on the pain scale? It certainly doesn’t hurt as much as it should. Nowhere near as much as it did just this morning. It does feel like it’s been healing for weeks. That’s amazing! I wonder why she didn’t tell me. Why would she keep something like this a secret from me?”
Zack thought for a moment and then replied, “I don’t think she knows. We need to show her this.” Then he grimaced. “But first, I’m sorry to tell you, I’ve got to take the stitches out. Your leg is hurting because the skin is healing over them, even the infection is gone. I’ll have to pull them right now before you heal anymore. Oh, and stop taking the antibiotic. I don’t think you need it anymore.”
Amanda groaned at the thought of him pulling the stitches out. “Oh, perfect!” Then she smiled sarcastically at him. “You’re definitely going to deaden the pain for that, right?”
He laughed, relieved at her joking. “Absolutely, babe, wouldn’t dream of removing them without it.”
“How’re you feeling? Better now?” He could tell she was. Her color was returning, her pulse was back to normal, and she’d stopped rubbing her eye as though she wished she could dig it from the socket. “Stomach settled?”
Pushing herself to her feet she swayed just a little and Zack wrapped an arm around her. She still felt light-headed but her migraine had subsided to a dull pounding that was easier to deal with and she figured that, too, would be gone as soon as the medicine kicked in.
“Yeah, I feel a lot better. I’m just a little dizzy.” She shook it off, telling him she needed to brush her teeth, again, and then wanted to talk to his mom and dad. It was time to fill them in.
Everyone was gathered at the table in the kitchen for Amanda’s story, with the exception of Emma and Lissie who were watching a Disney movie in the family room. Zack was seated on a low stool in front of her, alternately snipping the stitches he’d just sewn the previous day, and deadening the pain of pulling them from her healed skin.
“I want to assure everyone I’m fine, and apologize for scaring you,” she began. Zack’s sisters both murmured their relief and Cara smiled at her reassuringly.
Zack’s mom moved to her side to give her a hug. “I’m sorry that was so horrible for you, Amanda. If I’d had any idea it would harm you I would never have asked.”
Amanda returned her hug, drawing in a sharp breath as Zack pulled another stitch. The deadening sensation had faded. Zack shot her an apologetic look and placed his hand back on her leg for a few moments before proceeding again. Claire sat down next to Amanda, who held her hand as she filled in the family.
“There was no way to know,” Amanda replied. “This was a first for me, too. I expected to only see Joshua’s last moments. I knew those visions would be awful, but I was willing to read his belongings because I know how hard it is to lose someone you love.”
She spoke those words directly to Claire who clutched her hand tighter, and felt Zack’s hands falter in his work as he pulled another stitch with such unnecessary force that it would have caused her a good amount of pain had he not just deadened the area again. Whoops, she’d forgotten his competition with David.
When he looked up at her she rolled her eyes at him and asked, “Seriously?” as sarcastically as she could manage, drawing confused looks all around, except from Zack, who understood her perfectly. His face reddened as he blotted a large droplet of blood that had welled up from his forceful tug on her skin and berated himself for harming her.
“Sorry,” he muttered, not sounding it at all. She released a heavy sigh, not sure who needed to mend fences with whom, but sure that somehow this was all him.
Refocusing on his family she told them what she’d seen and that it did seem as though the information the military had given the family was the truth for which Amanda was thankful. At least she wasn’t dropping another bomb on them. As she explained what had driven her over the edge she began to stammer and shake in reaction again and had to stop to pull herself together. Shaking her head at Zack to deter him as she felt him begin to send a comforting push of energy her way, she felt him abruptly abandon the impulse. She held up seven fingers indicating the number of times he’d influenced her that day, and made a face at him to show her displeasure.
“As Zack told John, Joshua is still here. He hasn’t crossed over.” Claire began to cry and Amanda brushed Zack from her leg, he was almost done anyway, and turned to hold his mother.
Patting Claire’s back Amanda guessed, “He either has a message to deliver or a mission to accomplish, which is why he hasn’t gone over yet. The biggest shock was that he brought so many spirits back with him. I’ve never seen anything like it and I’m not sure how to handle it, or even if I’ll be able to.” Absentmindedly she added, “My husband said he would help me, but I don’t know what he’ll be able to do either. I have to talk to him again to figure it out.”
Zack grabbed her ankle and jerked her back in his direction. He swabbed her leg down with an antibacterial solution and redressed it so that the tiny suture holes would be covered until they scabbed over. None of his ministrations were gentle, he was rough in his handling of her and she could tell his temper was brewing underneath. She wondered when he’d lose it. She knew it was coming. His whole body was like a coiled spring and the tension was going to need to be released soon. She reminded herself, again, that he yelled when he was worried.
“What does he want? What
can we do for him?” Claire asked in a choked voice. She so clearly wanted to give her child whatever he needed.
Amanda shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know yet. I promise I will find out but I don’t think I can handle any more tonight. I’ll have to try again another time. I’m worn out.” She cast an apologetic glance around the room. Truthfully, she was having a hard time remaining upright in her chair.
Amanda nearly startled out of that chair as Zack lost his temper with everyone, his voice rising and then falling in a powerful crescendo. “Amanda, don’t you dare apologize!”
He was fit to be tied, so beside himself he was shaking in anger. “Not after what you were put through earlier! You scared the bejesus out of me, and all because you felt you owed my family. I don’t want you to touch another item of Joshua’s. I mean it! Do you have any idea how hard it was to bring you back? Do you?”
Zack rose to his feet, looming over her threateningly, which was just one of the many mistakes he could add to the list of what he’d already done that day and was about to do.
“If it hadn’t been for David I don’t know how long it might have taken, or if you would have come round at all! And quite frankly I’ve had enough of his interference in our lives. If it hadn’t been for the problems my family caused you today I wouldn’t have had to deal with him at all, and quite frankly that’s the way I like it! Twice this weekend is two times too much!”
Cara, Becca, and Claire looked bemused by Zack’s casual reference to, and attack on, Amanda’s dead husband, while John looked on uncertainly. None of them had an inkling of what was going on, what was driving Zack’s rage. The only thing they got was that Zack was blaming them for David’s appearance.
After a moment, John, feeling her hurt, disappointment, and anger, stepped to Amanda’s side and put his arm around her, firmly telling his son to “Shut the hell up!” that Amanda had been through enough and Zack wasn’t making it any easier.
At first Amanda was simply stunned by Zack’s outburst but it didn’t take long for her own temper to flare in response. It seemed all they did was argue, make up, and then fight again. She was already tired of the drama. True, she brought a lot of it on herself, but Zack was throwing gasoline on the fire and she’d had enough. Despite the presence of his family she let him have it.
“I understand that you are upset by what happened today, Zack. I’m not exactly thrilled with the turn of events either. But must you act like a child? My husband is still around because I need him and I’m not going to apologize for that! He is…rather, was my husband! And I know that you and I care about each other, that we’re trying to begin a relationship and that you feel threatened by him, but he is here for a reason. And just to remind you, that reason is to help get us together, to help you get to know me under admittedly strenuous circumstances and to help me get over him so that I can move on with you! So why the hell are you so threatened by his ghost? This is not a fucking competition!”
All eyes turned from Amanda to Zack as his family surveyed his reaction, and he flushed bright red in anger and embarrassment. He had no idea how to respond to her because he knew there was no way for him to excuse his behavior. He was jealous and he did feel threatened by David.
“Mandy, you have to understand that this is hard for me, too. I’m feeling my way through this and I’m just as blind, you know? I don’t know how to handle it all and when I feel scared, and I am scared for you, that fear turns into anger, that’s how I manage it, I guess.”
His voice was conciliatory as he tried desperately to justify his actions and reactions but knew it was his fear of her feelings for David that drove him to respond as he did, in addition to his fear for her involvement with other ghostly beings, and let’s not forget his worry about the Tabotts! Good God, she was going to cause him to have a nervous breakdown!
She heaved a deep breath. “Look, I want to be with you and I’m working on letting him go, but it’s not going to happen overnight, damn it! We were together for five years, including the time we dated and were married. That does not just go away because I began seeing you. For God’s sake, Zack, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few days. And, by the way, they’ve been very arduous days at that. You’ve got to give me some breathing room and stop pushing me. I’ll only say this once more. You will drive us apart if you continue to act so jealous and controlling.”
Tears filled her eyes because she knew her next words could be true and she didn’t want them to be. “Is it too much, Zack? If it is then tell me now and let’s break this off where we’re at. It is a lot, and it is scary, and I won’t hold you in a relationship because you feel guilt-ridden or obligated to be with me. If you want out, just say so. I’ll try to understand and not hold it against you.”
She took a deep breath and was quiet for a moment, as he stared at her in shocked silence, before continuing in a quavering voice she tried to control. “Now, seriously, I want you to take some time and deal with your problems, your fear, your worries, your whatever,” she rolled her hand in the air to encompass his seemingly nebulous issues.
“When you figure out if you can deal with…all of this, let me know one way or another. And, in all fairness, I need to come to some decisions of my own. I know I’m hurting you, too, and I’m very sorry for that, and I know it’s no consolation but I don’t mean to hurt you any more than you mean to hurt me. We just can’t seem to help it.”
Despair, frustration, and loss were written all over her and emanated from her very soul. Again, her ache compounded Zack’s own. He felt utterly miserable but couldn’t argue the fact that Amanda was correct. They seemed destined to constantly hurt each other. Was there anything he could do to keep himself from being a controlling, possessive, and overprotective ass? Was there ever going to come a point when she’d let go of David? Zack simply didn’t have it in him to share her.
She looked at his dad who still stood next to her and was now practically holding her up she was so spent, both emotionally and physically.
“John, would you please drive me home?” she asked tiredly.
Zack finally realized he’d caused a huge scene in front of everyone and looked ashamed. “I’ll take you home,” he said quietly.
All of his anger had been vented and now he was fearful of the consequences of what he’d said to her. Why did he keep doing this to her? He wondered if it was jealousy or if he really might not be strong enough to handle the challenges that came along with being involved with Amanda. He needed some time to think. Today had been stressful for everyone and he was feeling overwhelmed, too. It wasn’t like there was an Idiot’s Guide to Dealing with your Girlfriend’s Dead Husband.
He was thunderstruck with hurt when Amanda picked up her purse and declined. “No. Your father will take me home. To my home. I want to be alone tonight, to think, and I think you need to as well.”
His father glared at him and grabbed his keys from the hook in the kitchen. “This way, Mandy,” he directed, ushering her to the garage and keeping a supporting arm around her waist.
Turning around, Zack found five pairs of angry female eyes targeted on him. His mother, sisters, and even his nieces, who were mimicking their mom, stood with arms crossed, like a women’s vigilante mob ready to take him out.
Oh hell!
* * * *
July 8
Soft hands caressed the globes of his ass, tickling, teasing. Amanda’s hot, wet, mouth closed over the head of his cock, applying a light suction. Her tongue traced the flared head before traveling down its length. Those delicate hands moved to cup and fondle his balls, rolling the weights gently.
His hands tangled in the burnished strands of her hair, holding her to him as she continued her laving ministrations. “Mandy,” he groaned, as his eyes slid to half-mast and he watched with carnal delight as her plump, cherry-colored lips wrapped around him more firmly and her gaze met his.
“Harder,” he commanded. “Suck me harder, babe.” God, he loved the vi
sion of her on her knees before him, following his instruction, his orders, his commands. The dominant in him tightened his grip in her hair, controlling her motion, depth, and pace. She moaned passionately at the pull on her strands. His little minx liked a bit of pain with her pleasure. He could roll with that. So. Fucking. Hot!
“Deeper, Mandy. Relax your throat and breathe through your nose. You can do it. I want to feel you swallow on me.”
His body trembled as she complied, taking all but the last inch of him into her mouth, down her throat. The squeeze of her throat as she swallowed on the head of his cock that first time damn near had him coming. He wasn’t ready yet. He wanted this to last. He moved back to shallower thrusts, fucking her mouth more slowly as he tried to bring his libido back under control. She groaned in frustration.
He knew she wanted him to come. She liked his taste. She’d told him innumerable times how hot it made her when she went down on him. When he controlled her going down on him it made her passion flare even higher.
“Don’t you dare moan a complaint, Amanda. You know who’s in charge in the bedroom, and it isn’t you. You’ll take what I give you and you’ll give me what I want. You’re happiest that way, aren’t you, babe?” He ran the knuckles of one hand along the soft skin of her cheek. He knew it to be the truth. Amanda might be super independent outside of bed, but here, here she liked him to take charge.
In retaliation Amanda took him deep and swallowed on him again. He jerked on the hair still in his one-handed grip as he hissed, “I don’t want to come in your mouth. I want to be in your tight, hot, cunt when I blow.” He pulled her head back as he eased his cock from her pouty lips.
“Hands and knees, Mandy.” Her lower lip protruded slightly and he bent to give it a nip “Now!” She scrambled to obey him, bringing a small lopsided grin to his lips. Hell yeah, she enjoyed his sexual dominance. If only that sometimes extended to other aspects of their relationship maybe they wouldn’t argue as often as they did.
Amanda's Touch [D.A.R.E.ing Women] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 39