“I was trying to help you clean, but this is way more entertaining,” he mused as he released a soft chuckle. I glared at him even though I was still laughing.
“Not cool.” I tried to sound angry and stop the laughter, but it didn’t work.
At that moment, I forgot that I had cancer. I barely knew Kyle, but it seemed easy to forget with him—maybe that was why. We didn’t really know each other, and in turn, he didn’t treat me differently or like I would break. I liked that. I needed that.
The front door opened, and I twisted my head to see my mom. She abruptly stopped in the living room when she saw us on the kitchen floor covered in fruit. Kyle and I sobered quickly, the laughing and smiling gone. Oh crap. I’m in trouble.
“What happened?” she inquired, scanning the kitchen, and then looked from Kyle to me and back to Kyle again. I watched her face turn from confused to curious to happy to what the hell happened to my kitchen.
The glimpse of happiness must have been from catching me laughing and smiling, since she hadn’t seen me do that since my diagnosis. I wasn’t really sure what else she was thinking since I was sitting on the floor with a boy she had never met, covered in fruit. Expecting her to be angry, I quickly introduced Kyle.
“Mom, this is Kyle. He lives across the street.”
She nodded her head. “Nice to meet you, Kyle. I’m Cara Sullivan,” she told him, tilting her head to the side and giving him a warm smile. “I’m not even going to ask how this happened. I’m going to go take a shower and assume the kitchen will be miraculously cleaned when I come back,” she remarked in a neutral tone, surprising me.
I’d expected to be in trouble, not to be let off the hook that easily. She gave me a coy smile before she pivoted in the direction of the staircase that led to her bedroom and the upstairs bathroom. Kyle and I looked at each other; I grinned, laughing again.
“Your mom seems cool,” he stated.
“Yeah, well I think I’ll have some explaining to do later. You may have saved me for the moment,” I confessed. I didn’t think I would be in trouble anymore, but I knew I would have to tell her what happened.
Kyle stood and helped me up. I put the CD on the counter and then grabbed the dustpan and a few washcloths to clean up the mess I’d made. Kyle silently took one of the washcloths from my hand and wet it under the kitchen sink faucet. I held the dustpan on the floor and he ushered the destroyed fruit into it. When it was full, I dumped it in the trash, and we kept repeating the process until the floor was clear of mushy produce. Once the floor was clear, I got the Swiffer WetJet and used it to get rid of the stickiness. Having Kyle’s help made the cleanup a lot faster than it would have been by myself.
“Thanks,” I said, standing in front of him.
“No problem,” he replied as he reached up and softly brushed my cheek. My breath caught at the contact of his hand on my cheek. “Peaches,” he teased as he pulled his hand away, eyes sparkling, and showed me the piece of peach that was now on it.
I felt heat rush to my face, and I broke eye contact, embarrassed. “Yeah. Um. I’m sure I need a shower now,” my voice rasped like I hadn’t spoken in a while.
He smirked. “You may need more than one.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said, annoyed, shooting him a dark look. I walked him to the door, ready to get out of my clothing. I was feeling a bit gross. “Thanks again for the CD. I can’t wait to listen to it, but I think I need to shower before I permanently smell like peaches and bananas.” I made a ‘yuck’ face.
“You are starting to smell,” he mocked, fanning the air by his nose with his hand.
I once again glared at him. “Are you sure you aren’t smelling yourself? You’re just as dirty as I am,” I pointed out.
“Touché.” A sly smile slid onto his face. “Goodbye, Taylor,” he said and walked away from my door.
***
Dad arrived home a few hours after the fruit incident. Luckily, I had showered and changed before he walked through the door. I flung the book I had been reading, flew off the couch when the door opened, and hugged him before he even had a chance to put his luggage down. He dropped it and hugged me back warmly.
“Missed me, did you?” he chuckled, smiling.
I wanted to hold on to this moment because I knew it was about to be shattered. The genuine smile and happiness would soon disappear from my father’s face, but at this moment. I loved feeling like everything was okay and normal.
“Yes I did!” I exclaimed as I released my dad.
“That is some bright hair!” Dad grinned without an ounce of anger.
“Yeah,” I laughed.
“It looks good,” he commented approvingly. I smiled in return, relieved that he wasn’t upset.
Mom came down from upstairs, a smile on her face, and embraced him with a kiss. It was so terribly normal that it was frightening.
“David, we need to tell you something,” Mom told him, her face sobering. Her voice held sadness again.
“Okay,” he said as worry swept over his face.
We made our way to the couch and sat down. Mom sat next to Dad and angled herself to face him while I sat on the other side of her. Dad looked from Mom to me curiously, wondering what was going on.
“Taylor went to the doctors when you were gone,” mom started. She swallowed before continuing again. “They ran some tests and found that she has leukemia,” she finished.
Dad pulled back, anger coming over his face. Oh this is not going to go well. He ran his fingers through his graying brown hair.
“You found out that our daughter has cancer and you didn’t tell me?” His voice shook, and I could see him begin to shake also. Anger and hurt had taken over his normally soft and kind features.
“I didn’t want to ruin your trip, and there wasn’t anything you could do,” Mom defended.
“I think this is a bit more important than a stupid business trip, Cara,” he bit out as he stood up. I just sat still on the couch unable to move. “I could have been here.” His eyes became glossy.
Mom apologized with tears in her eyes. “David, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t make decisions for me.” He glared at her. I couldn’t stand him being so angry with mom. It was an impossible situation.
“Dad,” I pleaded, drawing his attention to me. His body went slack when he looked at me, and for the first time ever, I saw a tear run down his face. I shakily got up and wrapped my arms around him, and he enveloped me in a warm hug.
“I’m sorry.” His words came out dripping with sadness.
“It’s not your fault, Dad. It’s not anyone’s.”
I felt Dad reach his hand out for Mom and she came and embraced us. Parents who loved me surrounded me and it was painful. I felt like I was ripping them apart, and I was terrified of how torn up they would become through all of this.
***
The night before I was supposed to check into the hospital for treatment, I couldn’t sleep. The past two days had been filled with many tears and watching my two strong parents fall apart in front of me. Time to myself had been limited, and now I found myself tossing and turning at eleven fifteen at night. I knew I needed the sleep, but my mind was reeling. The welcoming comfort my bed usually gave me just wasn’t here tonight.
I threw off the covers, giving up, and snatched my phone off of my nightstand. Without thinking my actions through, I found Kyle in my phone and sent him a one-word text message, not even knowing if the number was a cell phone number,
Me: Stranger?
He didn’t even have my number. I probably should have said, “This is Taylor,” but a moment later, a text came back.
Kyle Stranger: Outside?
Smiling, I jumped off of the bed, grabbed jeans, changed out of my pajama bottoms, and put on a jacket before tiptoeing through the house and out the door, not wanting to wake up my parents. Shutting the door quietly behind me, I turned toward Kyle’s house. He was already standing outside. His hair was messy, and he was we
aring dark blue jeans—the first non-black pants I had seen on him—and a black leather jacket that fit him nicely. He had been born to wear that black leather jacket. He had a rugged look about him that probably should have yelled, Danger! But I found comfort in it.
He didn’t move, so I went to him.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?” I asked since his hair looked like he had been sleeping.
“No, I was just listening to music. I actually burned you those other CDs also.” His voice came out as smooth as ever.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I told him
“Ah, so you don’t want me to sleep either.” He winked at me.
“Maybe.”
He eyed me, giving me an amused look.
“I start treatment tomorrow morning.”
The amusement fell from his face from my words. “Oh, wow.” He fumbled for words, but then he recovered. “Well, that means you will get better sooner, right?”
“Chances are better,” I said, sitting down on the sidewalk, not wanting to stand anymore. He followed, sitting next to me a few inches away.
“I see why you can’t sleep. Everything will change in the morning.”
“That and I’m afraid I won’t come back out of the hospital,” I admitted.
“You will,” he said with confidence.
“How do you know?”
“Well they don’t keep bodies in the hospital, so either way you will come out of the hospital.” He smirked.
“Way to make me feel better,” I chided.
“I’m kidding.” He chuckled, meeting my eyes, and it was like he was thinking something profound. “I’m not going to tell you that you will survive this, because I don’t know… But I hope you do.” The last few words came out in a whisper. A shiver went through me and I broke the intense eye contact, not being able to handle it.
“Thanks for not giving me false hope like most people will do.”
I met his eyes again as he spoke, his eyes sparkling, and I found myself wondering how he became the person I could talk to and confide in within a matter of days.
“For what it is worth, I think you will make it out of the hospital alive.”
Silently, I watched him, not responding to what he’d said. Liz was right—he was good looking—well, she’d said hot, but either way—with a darker edge. His warm smiles erased any darkness, and I wondered how I would have perceived him if he hadn’t approached me the day when I sat in front of his house and I had just seen him on the street instead.
His voice broke through my thoughts. “Can I come see you?”
“What?” I asked.
“At the hospital”
“Uh, I guess… If you want,” I answered but then thought about how sick I was going to get and didn’t think I would want to be seen like that.
“Well you do need someone to supply you with rock music while you are there.” He smirked, and a small smile crept onto my face.
I laughed. “You sound like you are supplying me illegal drugs or something.”
He responded with a deep chuckle.
Kyle inched back from the sidewalk and lay down on the grass in his yard with his hands folded behind his head.
“Going to sleep?”
“Yeah, you are kind of boring,” he responded.
I rolled my eyes, lay down next to him, and gazed up at the stars that lit up the darkness, some sparkling brighter than others. It seemed so close and so far away at the same time.
We looked at the sky and talked about random things. I learned that his dad was a lawyer, his favorite color was black—shocker—and he wants to get a motorcycle. He’d had one in LA but sold it before he’d moved. I could easily picture him on a motorcycle. He just had that look, especially with the leather jacket he was wearing.
At some point, he pulled out an iPhone and earphones from his pocket, sharing one of the earbuds with me, and we listened to music. He introduced me to Breaking Benjamin, Cross Fade, Puddle of Mudd, and so many more that I lost track. I recognized a few of the bands, like Hinder and Plain White T’s. Sometimes Kyle would sing or hum along, which made me smile.
Being with Kyle was easy. Somehow, hours passed with music and light conversation. Before I knew it, the darkness was retreating, taking the stars also. The sun was rising. I had never taken the time to watch it before since it tended to rise before I was ready to wake up and drag myself out of bed.
My face lit up as the hues colored the horizon, and before my eyes, the sun materialized.
“Wow. It is so beautiful!” I exclaimed as it proceeded to take my breath away.
Turning to look at Kyle with a genuine smile on my face, I found him watching me intently. His eyes held something I hadn’t seen in them before, and I wasn’t quite sure what it was. My breath hitched as he smiled back at me and blinked, clearing the look he had held in his eyes. It turned into something less mysterious. Part of me wanted to know what that look had been and part of me was terrified. Maybe I already knew.
“It is,” he confirmed, breaking the quiet moment. “You’ve never seen the sunrise before?” He continued watching me.
“No. Never awake early enough. What time is it?”
He broke eye contact to look at his phone and I was able to find my breath more easily. What is wrong with me?
“Six-oh-eight” he told me, looking at me again.
“Crap! I need to get back inside. My parents are probably already awake.” I began panicking.
“Okay,” he said slowly, almost sounding sad.
“Thank you,” I told him, not knowing what else to say.
“Sure,” he said dismissively.
“I can’t believe I kept you up all night. You must be exhausted!” I exclaimed as it finally dawned on me that he had stayed up all night with me when he had probably been about to go to bed—if he hadn’t been in bed already.
His sly smile appeared. “I have all day to sleep,” he assured me with a wink. Everything he said was easy and relaxed, like he didn’t have a care in the world, but when I looked into his eyes, there was complex emotion and clear thought running through them. They weren’t just emptily staring at me.
“I guess… I’ll see you later,” I said awkwardly as I looked down and moved to turn toward my house.
“Taylor, wait.” his voice called, and for some reason, it made my pulse quicken. A smile snuck back across my face. “Let me grab those CDs for you quickly.” He gracefully jogged to his door and went inside.
Disappointment panged me before I thought about it. What am I thinking? What else was I expecting? Maybe I should just go…
Just then, Kyle burst back out the door and I attempted to act calm, like I wasn’t losing my mind and about to make a run for it. Unfortunately, my cheeks had other plans. I felt them growing warm, advertising a nice shade of pink. Great.
“Here,” he said breezily, handing me three CDs.
“Thanks.” I smiled, hoping my face wasn’t as pink as it felt. “I better go. Maybe I can get these on my iPod before we leave.”
He nodded and then held my eyes with a steady expression. “Kick its ass, Taylor,” he told me.
Blinking away tears that instantly wanted to emerge at his words, I hesitantly closed the space between us and hugged him. “I will,” I whispered before separating myself from him again. “Bye, stranger.” I turned and left him where he stood.
He didn’t move. I departed with him watching me until I quietly opened my door and slipped inside.
My parents were upstairs when I came inside, and I was able to sneak back into my room. They must have been letting me sleep in as long as possible. Otherwise, they would have been freaking out if they had found that I had not been in my room—or in the house.
Once I was in my room, fatigue finally hit me. Convenient. Instead of crawling under the covers like I was tempted to do, I went to my desk and powered on my laptop. I opened iTunes to add the CDs to my music collection. I inserted the first self-titled Three Days Grace CD an
d waited for all of the songs to rip.
While I waited, I thought about my night—well, technically my morning. It hadn’t been like any other experience I’d had before. It hadn’t been planned and it had been one of the best nights I had ever had. Maybe the best experiences couldn’t be planned they just have to happen.
Kyle made me feel relaxed, and I had easily been distracted from my problem. Since my diagnosis, he had been the only person able to make me feel like that. I’d only known him for a few days, but I knew I was going to miss him. For some reason, I was drawn to him. Maybe it was because I didn’t know very much about him. Mysteries tended to hold interest.
The computer dinged, indicating that the CD was done ripping. I ejected it and inserted the next CD, titled One X.
My door opened and my mom peeked her head in. Seeing that I was awake, she opened it the rest of the way.
“You’re awake,” she said, surprised.
“Yeah,” I replied, looking at her.
Her forehead crinkled. “Did you sleep? You look tired.”
“Not really,” I shrugged.
She nodded in understanding. She looked like she hadn’t slept either.
“We should leave in fifteen to twenty minutes,” she informed me.
“Okay. I’ll be ready,” I ensured her as the computer dinged again. I inserted the last CD, Life Starts Now, as she watched me curiously. I answered her silent question. “I’m adding music. Kyle burned me a few CDs.”
Luckily she didn’t ask when I’d gotten these CDs. She nodded again as sadness filled her eyes, and she left my room. I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding, probably for the strained, sad conversation and waiting to be busted for being out all night.
Once the last CD finished ripping, I plugged in my iPod and put the new music on it, fully intending to get lost in it on the way to the hospital. I had already packed a bag. Adding my iPod and iPhone charger to it, I was ready to go.
I took my room in one last time, knowing that it could be the last time I saw it. Posters and quotes graced the pink walls. My comforter was pulled down and astray. I didn’t bother making my bed, since I hated making it any other time. At least this way it looked like someone had been here. The room was filled with pictures holding memories, awards, stuffed animals, and various other things. I hoped I would see it all again.
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