“You have company,” I bit out and dragged Liz across the street.
“You are leaving him alone with her?” she asked incredulously.
I probably should have been staking my claim, but I already felt crazy and needed to get away from them before I actually did something crazy and embarrassed myself. I slammed the door shut behind us, letting some of my anger out.
“What the hell was that? Who is she and why are you allowing her to sleep in his house with him? She acted like we weren’t even there and just strolled in like she belongs here and owns the damn place. She is going to try her very hardest to end up in his bed, and he is a guy so he will only be able to resist so much,” she practically yelled at me. Her face was even a bit red. You would think he was her boyfriend. Truth was, he wasn’t even mine.
“He isn’t my boyfriend, Liz. He can do what he wants,” I told her, sliding down the door and sitting on the floor. I felt pretty pathetic.
“He was your boyfriend long before he kissed you, Taylor. You don’t need to talk about the label for that to be true. That guy has been by your side and been crazy about you since you met him. Don’t let some tramp take that away from you. He is yours,” she declared, hands on her hips, looking like she meant business. She was right; Kyle and I had had a significant relationship for a long time. Unfortunately, standing next to Leah, I wasn’t sure that I would still measure up.
“Ugh,” I groaned.
Liz sat down next to me on the floor and put her arm around me. “I’m sure she will be gone in no time. Probably nothing to worry about.” The bite was out of her voice as she tried to comfort me. I raised my eyebrow and looked at her, not really believing it, and her eyes told me that she didn’t really believe it either. This girl emitted trouble.
***
Kyle stood in front of me in my doorway. He had apologized for earlier; he hadn’t been expecting her and hadn’t even seen her in years. He explained that his mom used to date her dad when they were kids. Kyle didn’t seem to be a fan of her dad, but he didn’t go into detail. He assured me that Leah would be sleeping on the couch and that I shouldn’t worry. I felt a little better, but I was still worried. He touched my cheek, leaned in, and kissed me, melting me until all of my anxiety and anger vanished and it was just us. No Leah or world. Just Kyle and Taylor. I barely heard the faint clicking of heels until an annoyed voice reached my ears with it.
“Kyle… You didn’t hear me?” she asked with disbelief, planting her hand on his arm.
The perfect kiss was destroyed by her presence, and I felt anger bubble inside again. I looked up at her perfectly white, fake smile and forced one of my own. Removing only one of my hands from Kyle, I mustered the best bubbly voice I could and stuck out my hand.
“Hi, I’m Taylor!”
Leah looked at my hand with distaste and then dismissed it. “Hi…” she drew out, unimpressed.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes and continued smiling, letting my arm drop and go back around Kyle. I was nicely making my existence known and staking my claim on Kyle. Unfortunately, her hand was still on his arm, and I glared at it, wishing my glare had the power to catch her hand on fire.
“I need help,” she pouted, her focus on Kyle.
“I’ll come help you in a little bit. I’m talking to Taylor right now,” he told her, his attention back on me, giving me a smile, clearly dismissing her. A genuine smile spread across my face as I looked back at him. My happiness was short-lived when she spoke again.
“Didn’t look like you were talking,” she whined, rolling her eyes.
“I’ll be right there,” Kyle said, sounding annoyed.
She huffed and her heels began clicking back toward his house.
“Sorry,” he apologized, looking sad. I didn’t want to be mad at him either. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was a good guy. It wasn’t like he was going to throw her out on the street even though I would really, really like that.
“It’s okay,” I whispered and kissed him before he could examine the emotion in my eyes too closely. I hugged him and then let him go. “I should do some homework anyways,” I told him so he wouldn’t feel bad.
“See you soon,” he smiled softly and drew me in to kiss me one last time before leaving me on my doorstep.
I didn’t want him go back to his house and back to her. Dread hit me as he closed his door. She wasn’t going to make this easy for me, and I wasn’t sure if I had the strength to deal with it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
It was bad being home all of the time and not having to go to school. Instead, I stared out the window like a deer caught in headlights at Kyle and Leah coming and going. She was always with him, touching him every chance she got. It made me feel sick, and I couldn’t stand it. I hadn’t spoken to Kyle or let him see me. I didn’t trust Leah, and losing Kyle like I had Austin would hurt too much. I couldn’t do it, so I was avoiding him and trying to let him go while I still could.
Spying from the window wasn’t exactly making it easier, but I couldn’t help myself. He glanced at my house, causing my heart to race. I rushed behind the wall so he didn’t see me, but I couldn’t help but notice the grim expression he was wearing. It pulled at my heart, making me want to be the one to make him smile again. I risked another peek through the window and saw that he had started to walk toward my house. My heart skipped a beat, and then he turned his head back to Leah in his doorway. He looked back at my house again and then slumped his shoulders before turning around and going back to his house. My heart fell, and I slid to the floor. I wasn’t sure why I wanted him to come to my door. I had ignored his attempts at ringing my doorbell and hadn’t returned the missed phone calls I could have answered.
Liz thought I was being stupid and mopey, but she hadn’t been dumped by her serious boyfriend without even being told while in the hospital. I wasn’t going to let it happen again. Between sessions of staring hopelessly out the window, I did a lot more homework. It kept me busy and distracted me from being mopey. It was hard tearing myself out of Kyle’s life when he had been a big part of it for so long. I rarely went a day without seeing him. Well, I still didn’t go a day without seeing him. He just didn’t see me.
“What are you doing?” My mom’s voice startled me. I looked up at her, and she was giving me one of her mom looks with her hands on her hips.
“Nothing,” I responded gloomily.
She shook her head at me. “I don’t know what is going on with you and Kyle, but you haven’t left the house in two weeks. Tomorrow we are leaving this house,” she said sternly.
“I don’t want to go anywhere,” I declared, meeting her eyes.
“Tomorrow you will stop moping and go shopping with your mother and like it,” she demanded, looking serious. She would probably drag me out of the house kicking and screaming if I didn’t agree.
“Fine,” I groaned, crossing my arms unhappily. I was quite content with barricading myself inside and eating cookie dough ice cream in my pajamas like I had been doing.
“Good.” She smiled brightly at me, and I decided to get up and go hide in my room before she decided that now was a good time to grace the world with my presence.
***
Apparently Mom had felt that I needed to be pampered to feel better because that was what our shopping day had turned into. My mom had insisted that I get a cute white dress that fanned out at my waist and cut off just at my knees with matching heels and wear them out. She’d told me that dressing up would make me feel better. So now I was sitting next to my mom while we were both getting manicures and pedicures in this pretty dress, which was way too dressy just to be out and about in. I felt silly, but it also felt kind of good. Maybe this was what I needed.
Just when I thought we were done, she told them to do my makeup. I hadn’t bothered to put on makeup before leaving the house this morning, but I knew how to do my own. I tried to object, but my mom shushed me. I hadn’t even realized that this was a full-service salon. I’d e
xpected it just to be nails, but they did everything.
By the time I was allowed to look into a mirror before we left, my mom had even had them restyle my wig. I was a whole new girl. My face looked flawless with the makeup they’d applied. They knew what they were doing; I wasn’t able to make myself look this good. The eyeliner was a thin black stroke that trailed with the natural line past the end of my eyelid. The eye shadow was light and shimmery. A little blush and some red on my lips added some color, and my hair was halfway up with a fancy silver barrette. I looked pretty amazing. Smiling at my reflection, I was glad my mom had forced me to do this. I didn’t look sick at all, and it made me feel actually pretty again. I looked at my mom, who was smiling her approval. Her eyes sparkled as she took me in.
“You look beautiful,” she appraised.
“Thank you—and thank you for doing this.”
Her eyes grew glossy, and she hugged me tightly. “I just want you to smile. To be happy,” she said into my ear.
“I know,” I exhaled.
“Ready?” she asked, releasing me and smiling.
Nodding, I followed her back out to the car.
When I realized we were headed back home, I was surprised. Now that I was all dolled up, it seemed like a waste to go home now. I glanced sadly at Kyle’s house as we pulled into our driveway. It was hard living across the street from the guy you were trying to stay away from.
I unlocked the front door and was looking down to throw my keys back into my purse when a chorus of “Surprise!” met my ears, startling me. I looked up, bewildered to find family and friends gathered in the living room with a huge ‘Happy Birthday’ banner hanging from the ceiling along with scattered balloons and decorations. My eyes met Kyle’s, stealing my breath. He was here--in my living room. I didn’t see Leah, which made me feel partially better about him being here. He had this unshaved look going on, making him appear dangerous. I tore my eyes away from his nervous, searching gaze and tried to wipe the shock off my face and replaced it with a smile.
“It’s not my birthday…” I told the gathering, the surprise evident in my voice.
“We never celebrated, and I thought it was a good time to make it up to you,” my mom said warmly, standing next to me.
I noticed Liz and saw the excitement on her face. I had a feeling she had a big part in this, and now I understood why my mom had gotten me all dressed up.
“Thank you, everyone,” I said a little awkwardly to the crowd. I had never had a surprise party, so it was throwing me off.
“Let’s get some music playing.” My dad came to my rescue, and a few seconds later, music was coming out through the sound system.
Liz practically jumped me excitedly. “So do you love it?” she squealed.
“This was all you, wasn’t it?” I laughed, hugging her.
“Of course! I told you that you had to have a rocking sixteenth birthday party!” she exclaimed, clearly proud of herself.
The guests were now talking to each other. There were some people from school that I hadn’t seen in a while. I was pretty sure everyone knew I had cancer by now, but I hadn’t told anyone at school other than Austin and Liz.
“You look gorgeous, girl! Spin for me!” Liz demanded.
I obliged and spun in a circle. I was certain this dress had been made for that because it fanned out and floated beautifully in the air as I spun. I giggled, feeling like a kid and loving it. I stopped when Kyle appeared next to me with a half smile on his face as he watched me with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
“I’ll let you two talk,” Liz told me, winking as she rushed away.
I glared at the back of her head. I grudgingly looked up at Kyle. He looked nervous, which was unusual for him.
“Hi,” he said simply.
“Hi,” I responded, and I hated how my pulse quickened.
“Liz invited me. I wasn’t sure if I should come since you have been avoiding me, but I really wanted to see you,” he explained, touching the back of my hand with his fingers. “I’ve missed you, Taylor,” he said softly, breaking a piece of my heart.
“Me too,” I admitted, the words stuck in my throat.
“What happened? What did I do?” he asked desperately, his eyes pleading for an answer.
“You didn’t do anything,” I told him honestly, looking down. How could I make him understand?
His forehead drew together, confused as he took my hand in his completely. I should have pulled away, but I couldn’t. His touch was what I had been craving for these past two weeks, and it felt too good to let it go just yet.
“Then why?” he asked, lifting my chin up with his other hand.
I wanted to cry and fling my arms around him at the same time. I squeezed his hand and let go, preparing myself to let him go.
“I just can’t do this again. I’m sorry, but you have Leah living in your house and all over you. It will hurt too much to get even more attached to you until you end up with her. It was bad when Austin left me in the hospital without a word for another girl, but you doing that would shatter me.” My voice trembled as I spoke.
“Taylor, I wouldn’t do that to you,” he promised. “Why would you think that? Did I do something to make you think that?” he questioned.
“No.”
“Then trust me, please,” he pleaded, making this even more difficult.
“I can’t trust her, Kyle.”
“I’ll make her leave,” he blurted out, and I looked at him. His honest eyes were cutting into me.
“No, Kyle. I’m not going to make you throw her out onto the street. For whatever reason she needs you right now, and I wish I could be the bigger person and handle it, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I need to let you go. Please let me,” I begged as tears flooded my vision.
He looked defeated, making me feel even worse. A slow song began to play, and I recognized it as a Rascal Flatts song.
“Will you dance with me?” he asked with a thick voice.
I hesitated before accepting his hand. He pulled me close, wrapping his arm around my waist. We didn’t speak as we swayed to the words, What hurts the most was being so close… The lyrics tore through me. It was ironic that this song would play.
“I’m sorry,” he leaned down and whispered in my ear, sending shivers through me.
“Me too,” I murmured back, leaning my head against is shoulder. This felt so right. Why did both choices have to hurt?
“I don’t want to let you go…” he said as the song was coming to an end. I didn’t want him to let go either.
We both lingered, knowing that this was going to be it. He leaned his forehead against mine and took a ragged breath before kissing me fiercely. The kiss was long and deep and beautiful. He was showing me how much he wanted me. It should have been enough, but my damn stubborn fear got in the way. I pulled back from him, ending our final kiss.
“Please don’t do this.” His voice was heartbreaking in itself.
“I have to,” I choked out.
His jaw tightened and his eyes grew dark. “I have something for you, and then I will leave.” His voice hardened, erasing the emotion in it. He was mad at me, and I couldn’t blame him. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out but had it hidden inside his hand. “I took them from the house we made the day after we created it, when you ended up in the ER,” he said, putting his closed hand out.
I didn’t know what he meant, but I placed my open palm under his and he dropped what he was holding before walking away. I looked down and my mouth dropped open, stunned by the most precious gift I had ever seen. It was two of the smaller, flat, gray Legos put together to form a heart on a chain. He’d made me a freaking necklace out of Legos from the house we built together.
I looked up to see him shutting the door behind him, gone—just like I had wanted so he couldn’t break my heart. Instead, I had broken it myself, and this gift just brought me to the edge of completely shattering. Breathing in deeply, I let the noise around
me hit me. The party going on was for me and I hadn’t even joined in yet. I needed to actually start to interact with everyone else who had come.
“Why did he leave?” Liz demanded, crossing her arms, giving me a disapproving look.
“Because I told him that I couldn’t be with him.” My voice broke at the end, and I clasped the necklace in my hand.
She shook her head at me. “Taylor, I don’t get you. If I had a guy like that, I wouldn’t give him up,” she tsked.
“I should go visit with people,” I responded sadly and stalked away.
For the rest of the night, I felt like I was an observer. I talked and laughed with everyone and blew out candles on the cake after everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday,’ but I felt like I was watching it from the outside instead of being a part of it. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and I even danced. The party was tiring, and I was more than ready for bed when everyone was gone.
“Hope you had a good night, sweetie,” Mom said, hugging me, followed by Dad.
“I did. Thank you.” I yawned, expressing my tiredness.
“You go to bed. We will clean this up tomorrow,” Dad said, and I wasn’t going to be told twice. I said goodnight to them both before heading straight for my room and bed.
I saw my phone light up on my desk next to the necklace Kyle had given me earlier. I had snuck away to place it in here for safekeeping. Kyle Stranger flashed on the screen, causing my heart to speed up. I picked it up and opened the message.
Kyle: I will leave you alone. I just wanted to tell you that you looked stunningly beautiful tonight. Even that doesn’t seem like a good enough description. Goodbye, Taylor. --Kyle
I exhaled a long breath once I finished reading his message. He was certainly doing well at making me rethink my decision with the necklace and that message. He was so thoughtful. It would be so much easier if he wasn’t such a good guy.
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