“Sorry,” Claire sighed.
“Why?” Massie asked. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Claire murmured.
“She’s right about that,” Alicia said. “We’re right back where we started. The only thing Operation Toe Jam did to Nina was make her more popular.”
Normally, Claire would have defended herself. But she couldn’t. Alicia was right.
“Kuh-laire, what happened?” Massie asked again.
“Silence!” Mrs. Peckish clapped her hands as she walked back into the classroom. “I want silence.”
Luckily for Claire, that was exactly what she got.
OCD
THE PARKING LOT
Tuesday, February 10th 4:30 P.M.
Massie leaned against the thick wooden door inside the school, pushed it open, and stepped into the OCD parking lot. “Free at last!” She lifted her arms and spun around. The wide bell sleeves on her purple wool coat let in the cold air and stung her bare arms.
An ah-nnoying car horn was honking in the distance, but Massie didn’t care. She was just so happy to be out of that stinky detention room. “Here’s Isaac.” She pointed at the round headlights on the Range Rover as it pulled into the lot. “Who wants to go shopping for dresses? The Love Struck dance is three days away, and if I’m going solo, I have to look ah-mazing.”
“I can’t believe I’m going alone,” Claire mumbled, looking at the cracked asphalt, slowly shaking her head.
“I can’t believe Massie Block is going alone.” Kristen shook her head. “What if everyone thinks you’re a loser?”
“They won’t when they hear my new philosophy on school dances.”
“What philosophy?” Kristen asked.
“You gotta be single to mingle!” Massie shouted.
Claire and Alicia hollered their support. Massie lifted her palm in the air and the girls exchanged high fives.
The mysterious horn was still honking.
Dylan lowered herself onto the curb and sat down. Her forehead was beaded with sweat and her voice was weak. “Don’t pretend you’re excited to be dateless.”
“Who’s pretending?” Massie asked
The noisy horn finally stopped. A slamming car door and the sound of heels clacking on the pavement took its place.
“Dylan, do you think we’re going to look like losers because we have dates?” Kristen asked.
Dylan shrugged and rested her cheek on the frozen ground.
“What are you doing?”
“Cooling off,” Dylan moaned. “It must be two hundred degrees out tonight.” The bright headlights on the Range Rover shone in her face as Isaac pulled up along the curb. “Look how strong the sun is. We should be indoors.”
The girls started giggling.
“We’re you waiting long?” Isaac asked as he held the door open for Massie.
“About a half-hour,” she lied. “But I won’t tell Mom if you take us to the mall.”
“Don’t you have homework?”
“We finished it in detention.” Massie slid across the leather seats.
“Well, no daughter of mine is going shopping after a detention!” a woman shouted.
Kristen turned and looked over her shoulder. “Mom?”
Massie opened her window so she could hear better.
“That’s right.” Mrs. Gregory was clenching the wooden cross on her necklace.
Massie leaned across Claire and stuck her head out the window so she wouldn’t miss a thing. Kristen’s mom looked the same as always, wiry gray roots spreading across the top of her mousy brown bob. Her bangs were heavy and cut straight across her forehead like Buster Brown’s and her facial features were small and plain.
“When did you get here?” Kristen had one foot inside the Range Rover and one on the ground.
“I came as soon as I heard about your striptease in science class.” Mrs. Gregory sounded mad. “I’ve been honking for the last fifteen minutes.”
Dylan lifted her head off the pavement and giggled like a drunk. “Mrs. Gregory’s a goose. She honks!” She fell back down.
Mrs. Gregory let go of her cross and bent down toward Dylan. “Is she on drugs?”
“NyQuil,” Dylan slurred, and then giggled again.
Isaac adjusted his black leather driving gloves, then crouched down. After a few manly grunts, he managed to lift Dylan over his shoulder, like a fireman. He used his free hand to open the back hatch, then spread her out across the very backseat.
“Let’s go, Kristen Michelle. Your father is waiting to talk to you.”
“Lehp,” Kristen muttered as she lowered her foot onto the ground. She waved goodbye slowly and then followed her mother to their fuel-efficient Chrysler.
“Mrs. Gregory sucks,” Alicia said as she stepped into the Range Rover.
“Does this bean I win da bet?” Dylan called from the backseat. She sounded delirious. “Are we at the ball yet?”
“You’re not going to the mall.” Isaac started the engine. “I’m taking you home.”
Dylan started laughing hysterically. “Where did all of these pink snakes come from? And why are they wearing swim goggles?” Then she began to weep. “Those are my goggles. Mine!”
Isaac stepped on the gas and sped all the way to Dylan’s house. He carried her up the thirty stone steps that led to the front door of their mansion and left her in the tender care of her housekeeper, Flora.
“I can’t believe she would go to school with the flu,” he said when he got back in the car.
“She hates missing out.” Massie shook her head. “She’s been like that forever.”
Isaac reached in the glove compartment and took out a pack of Lysol hand wipes. He cleaned his gloves and the steering wheel, then handed some to the girls so they could disinfect the backseat. “Where to next?” he asked.
“The Westchester Mall,” Alicia announced
“Massie?” Isaac waited for her to give the final approval.
“The Westchester!”
Alicia bounced up and down in her seat and clapped.
“Hey, did you guys know that shoe sizes are different in Europe than they are in Westchester?” Claire put in.
“What?” Alicia asked.
“Yeah, like a six there is really a five here,” Claire explained. “Cause when I took Nina to try on all the shoes, none of the sixes fit her. They were all too big.”
“So maybe she’s a five,” Massie said. “Who cares?”
“But during the sleepover she told us her boots were a six,” Claire insisted. “Don’t you remember when Kristen and Dylan tried them on at the sleepover? They’re both fives, and the boots were way too big for them.”
“Gawd, CSI much?”
“I’m just wondering why she would lie about the size of her feet?”
“It’s so funny that Nina is even into boots,” Alicia pointed out. “She used to be such a dorky dresser. She was even worse than—” She looked at Claire. “I mean, she used to wear jellies and socks to restaurants.”
“Ew,” Massie said.
“Her sisters were the ones who were into footwear. They’re, like, famous for their style. Everyone copies them, and twice a year they auction off last season’s boots and use the cash to buy more. They raised enough money last year to fly to Paris and shop there.”
“Maybe that’s why they keep calling.” Massie smiled. “Maybe Nina stole their boots, just like she stole my lip gloss.”
“And my boyfriend,” Claire sneered.
“No, wait—you might be onto something.” Alicia’s brown eyes were wide with wonder. “Whenever I get back from Spain, I’m always missing a few of my favorite things. But I always blamed the baggage handlers at the airline. But what if it was Nina all this time? What if she’s a gato burglar?”
“I can totally see that.” Massie unclipped her seat belt and sat forward.
“Me too.” Claire nodded. “Totally.”
“Plan.” Alicia pulled her cell out of the inside pocket
of her gray coat and started thumbing through her received calls. “I still have her sisters’ number stored in here. Should I call and ask if they’re missing anything?”
“Yeah!” Massie and Claire said at the same time.
Massie leaned forward and lowered the radio. Alicia dialed and then hit speaker phone.
They squeezed each other’s hands while they waited for someone to answer. The ring sounded different, more like a piercing beep.
Boop, boop … Boop, boop …
“Hey, Alicia, are you in love with your cousins?” Massie asked.
“Huh?” Alicia whispered. “No.”
Boop, boop …
“Then why are you making a booty call?” Massie cracked up at her own joke.
Alicia and Claire started laughing too.
Boop, boop … Boop, boop …
“Maybe they’re eating dinner,” Claire whispered.
Alicia shrugged.
“Hola?” a sleepy voice finally answered.
“Uh, hola. It’s Alicia. Your, uh, prima. Is this Celia?”
“Sí,” the voice whispered softly. Celia sounded like she was scrunched up in a ball.
“Are you … Uh, estás enferma?” Alicia said.
“No, estoy durmiendo.”
Alicia shrugged.
“Sleeping,” Claire whispered. “I think durmiendo means sleeping.”
Alicia checked her Tiffany watch, then covered the speaker on the phone with her hand and mouthed, “It’s only five in the evening.”
“I think they’re like seven hours ahead,” Massie said. “I realized that when I was trying to preorder a Balenciaga bag from the head offices in Spain. They were never open when I called.”
Alicia covered her mouth with her hand and gasped. “Ooops.”
Claire and Massie giggled.
“Hola? Hola?”
“Excuse me,” Alicia apologized into the phone. “I’m here … Uh, estoy aqui. La razón I am, uh, calling is, uh—”
“Lemme try,” Claire whispered. She leaned closer to the phone. “Hola, Celia, mi nombre es Claire. Are you missing any zapatos?”
“Si!” Celia sprang to life. “Quien es? Eres tu la ladrona maldita que levantes mis botas? La policía te van encontrar, y cuando te encuentren, te vam amatar!”
“Uh, okay, gracias,” Claire said. “Dispénseme. Sorry to wake you. Buenas noches. Adiós.”
Claire snapped Alicia’s phone shut.
“I knew Nina was a thief,” Massie announced.
“Is that what she said?” Alicia asked. “Could you understand her?”
“She said sí, didn’t she?” Massie said.
“She also said ‘ladrona,’ which is thief,” Claire said. “I think.”
“Then that proves it.” Alicia nodded. “She stole their boots and everything else around here.”
“Including my boyfriend,” Claire mumbled.
“Enough!” Alicia and Massie shouted at Claire.
“Sorry,” Claire said, even though she probably didn’t mean it.
“We need to catch Nina in the act.” Massie twirled her charm bracelet around her thin wrist.
“How are we going to do that?” Alicia whined.
“I know.” Claire sat up tall in her seat. Her voice was confident and calm.
Isaac turned into the parking lot of the mall.
“Isaac, we can’t stay.”
“What?” Massie and Alicia snapped.
“The dance is in three days—we need clothes,” Alicia said. “And we’re already here.”
“Since when do you tell Isaac what to do?” Massie added.
“Look, do you want to catch Nina or not?”
Massie felt a warm tingle of affection trickle down her spine. She couldn’t believe Claire was being so bossy. She loved it.
“Massie?” Alicia pleaded. “We have to shop.”
Isaac pulled into a parking spot but kept the motor running while he waited for the final word. “Massie?” he asked.
She pressed the automatic door lock button over and over again while she thought. The contact clicking added to the tension in the car.
“Massie,” Alicia snapped, “can we please stay?”
Click.
“No.” Massie shook her head. “The shopping will have to wait.”
Isaac backed out of the spot and headed for home.
“This plan better work, Kuh-laire,” Alicia hissed. “Because the last one you came up with sucked.” She folded her arms across her chest and slouched down in the leather seat.
“It’ll work, right?” Massie pinched the side of Claire’s arm. “Right?” She pinched a little harder.
Claire nodded.
“Good,” Massie said. “Because a shopportunity is a terrible thing to waste, and you’re running out of chances.”
“It’ll work,” Claire promised.
“If I were you, I’d start praying, just in case,” Alicia said.
“Believe me,” Claire assured her, “I am.”
“To the house, Isaac,” Massie instructed. “And take the shortcut. We have a lot of work to do.”
MASSIE BLOCK’S CURRENT STATE OF THE UNION BLOG
IN OUT
Operation Booty Call Operation Toe Jam
Crime Stoppers Dress shoppers
Busted Cleavage
THE BLOCK ESTATE
Tuesday, February 10th 5:37 P.M.
Massie led Claire and Alicia around to the side entrance near the kitchen. Across the yard, the workmen were loading up their trucks with lumber and tools, ready to pack it in for the day. Claire couldn’t make out any specific details in the dark, but it looked like the house had walls and half a roof.
“They sure are building that guesthouse quickly.” Alicia sounded impressed.
“It doesn’t feel very quick when you’re sleeping in a bathtub,” Claire mumbled.
“Huh?”
Massie elbowed Claire in the ribs. “Nothing,” they said at the same time.
“Whatever.” Alicia shrugged. Then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are you sure Todd will be home?” she asked Claire while Massie unlocked the door.
“If I know Todd, he’s circling Inez while she’s cooking dinner, hoping she’ll accidentally drop some scraps on the floor.” Massie reached in her bag for her keys.
Alicia and Massie started giggling.
“I’ll admit, sometimes Todd may act like a dog but—,” Claire started saying, but Massie cut her off.
“Look, Kuh-laire, if what you told us in the car about his spying is true, he’s more like a weasel!” The door clicked open.
They walked into the warm kitchen and Claire knew right away that they were having Inez’s crispy roast chicken. The rich, succulent smell of the browning skin was unmistakable. Claire peeked inside the pots on the stove and saw bacon mashed potatoes and noodle soup. At least dinner would be a success.
“Kendra.” Judi followed Mrs. Block into the kitchen. “With all due respect, you can’t just expect a child to want to show up to school on time. You have to teach them good habits by setting a good example and getting involved.” They must have been in the living room having tea, because they dropped their empty cups in the sink.
“Well, Judi, with all due respect …” Kendra rested one hand on the kitchen counter and the other on her tiny waist. “This whole thing is new to me. You see, Massie never had a detention until today. In fact, she never got into any trouble at all until she started hanging out with—”
“Hi, Mom.”
Kendra and Judi whipped their heads around and gasped when they saw the girls standing there.
“Uh, hi, sweetie, how was school?” Kendra asked.
“Fine,” Massie said. “Where’s Todd?”
“Upstairs, practicing his tuba.” Judi gave Claire a We-need-to-talk-about-those-detentions look. Claire rolled her eyes.
Inez hurried into the kitchen, frantically waving her arms like she was trying to clear a cloud of smoke. “What
are you doing in my kitchen before dinner?” She clapped her hands three times. “Get out! Out!”
Everyone left without saying a word.
Massie led Claire and Alicia upstairs to Todd’s room. She reached the top and turned around. “Why are our mothers fighting about discipline?” She said “discipline” like she would say “dog poo.”
“I dunno. But it’s weird. It sounded like your mother was about to blame me for the detentions.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Alicia huffed as she climbed the last stair. “She used to blame me every time Massie got a wrong answer on a test.”
“Better you than me.” Massie winked, then turned toward Todd’s room.
Once they were outside his door, Claire squeezed her way past Massie and gently placed her hand on the brass knob. She could hear the farting sound of Todd’s tuba through the walls. “Allow me,” she whispered. And to her surprise, Massie and Alicia willingly agreed.
Claire counted to three inside her head and then pushed open the door. “Hi-ya!” she shouted and kicked her leg like a kung fu expert when she entered his room.
Massie and Alicia screamed, “Hi-ya!” too, then sliced the air with the sides of their palms. Even though she was supposed to act mean and angry, Claire couldn’t help smiling at their improvised entrance.
Todd lifted half of his mouth off the tuba. “Hello, angels. Does this make me Charlie?”
“Where’s your spy gear?” Claire asked.
“What spy gear?” Todd widened his eyes, trying to look innocent.
“Massie, you search under the bed. Alicia, you check the drawers. I’ll take the closet.”
“What are you doing?” Todd jumped to his feet. “Help, police!” He started blowing his tuba like a car alarm. Puurp … puurp … puurp … “Police! I’m being robbed!” Puurp … puurp … puurp …
“We should be the ones calling the police.” Claire pulled Todd’s clothes out of his closet and threw them on the floor. “It’s illegal to spy on people.”
“Not in New York State,” Todd said. “Hidden cameras are legal here as long as one party knows about it. And I’m that party.” He handed Claire the legal document that had come with his camera equipment. “See?”
Invasion of the Boy Snatchers Page 13