by J. L. Beck
“I don’t want you to die. I don’t want this love story between us to end. I love you and that’s the truest thing I’ve ever felt in my life.” Fresh tears fell from her deep brown eyes, drowning me in her love.
“Maggie!” I screamed her name, the overwhelming feelings of love and loyalty consuming my emotions. All I saw was her, the way her body trembled with every kiss I placed against her skin. The way her smile warmed every single part of my body. How her eyes rolled back into her head as she came all over my cock.
“Let it consume you. Bathe in it.” I could hear Xaiver’s voice−no longer a stranger to me, but a familiar face in a time of desperate of need−as everything I had done came crashing back down on me. Fear and anxiety raged through me, and I begged for the pain to go away.
“I’ll always love you,” I claimed her with my lips, wrapping my words up in a tight bow and giving them to her to hold onto in my absence.
“Please make it stop,” I begged to no one because there was no one to save me. Maggie was gone and I was destroying everything I had tried to save. I never wanted to hurt Maggie. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I simply wanted to shut the pain off without changing who I was simply because there would be no saving me if I destroyed the good in Maggie.
An earthquake was taking place in my mind, the good and the evil fighting to take over my body. Maggie sitting on one side with the person I was meant to be while the killer inside of me sat on the other, covered in blood. I wanted to give into both, to claim them as I was but I knew I couldn’t.
One kept Maggie with me and the other kept her safely away from me. Rage consumed one and love ruled the other. A battle to no end surfaced between them and I didn’t know who to choose.
“Ahhhh!” Another scream left me, as I beat my fists into the cement floor. Blood dripped from my aching skin, the wounds reminding me just how human I truly was. That I had a heart, that I could bleed, that I could very well die.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I surrendered myself over willingly.
Protect Maggie or give into the love I desperately needed to remain human.
The choice was no longer mine to make, my mind would make the decision for me.
One or the other.
Fourteen
Maggie
I wanted Killer to be okay, to fight the dark cloud currently looming over him, to fight through it for us, but I knew in order for us to end them I needed him to revert back. That’s all I could think about as I listened to Ty instruct the other project members on how we were to break into PGI headquarters. Nothing mattered to them or me as much as finding out what we needed to save one of our own. That, and I needed to try and save my father. Ty had gotten word that my father was being held at headquarters by an implant that was sent in from the Brotherhood. I wrung my hands together, sweat formed on them as anxiety filled my belly to the brim. Being as close as we were to the facility gave me the shivers.
“They had to know we were coming at some point and time.” I thought to myself. I was anxious to get in and get out, the memories of what occurred last time Killer and I were here blurred together too much for me to stay calm.
I stood behind the majority of the members, Ty wanted to keep me as hidden as he possibly could.
“We need to get in, get the files which should be located in the west wing of the building near medical. Something you all need to know is that I worked at this facility before I knew who I really was. Killer and I escaped from here when he was captured …” You could see the long lost look in Ty’s eyes, the questions swirling through his mind as I somewhat filled them in briefly.
“Are there others here?” Someone asked near the back of the group. I had never seen the young man before and the look in his eyes said he had endured a lot for his young age.
“Yes there are and if we can, we will get them out,” Ty answered, his voice full of authority. My mind trailed off as others continued to ask him questions about who would go where and if they were to save anyone they came across. I stared intently through the tree line, to the fence that surrounded the building. I forced all my anger and pain into that one single stare.
These people had ruined these men’s lives, they had ripped them away from their families and changed them.
They also saved them, though. My inner voice reminded me of the evil and good that came with everything. If it weren’t for these people Killer wouldn’t be here and neither would I. Neither would any of these people.
“Let’s go!” Ty ordered just as a siren sounded off in the distance.
As if we were an army we marched through the woods, heavy steps echoing throughout the valley. I could feel the tinge of power in the air as if coming together as one gave us more strength as if it allowed us to feed off of one another.
We cleared the fencing that surrounded the facility, the flimsy chain link fence with razor wire along the top doing nothing to slow us down. Our bodies slammed into the chain fence, knocking it over the rest of the way. The energy around us was electric as if we could light the entire place on fire.
I was in awe at our strength as we made our way up to the building as one unit. As one team. Still the anxiety in my belly tumbled out of control, growing larger as Ty signaled for us to stop.
Silence covered the group as the alarm that had previously been triggered came to a halt, the wind howling being the only thing that you could hear. Someone must’ve alerted them. I wrapped my arms around myself. There were no open windows, no people rushing from the building. Nothing. There was just silence and then there was us.
“This is too easy, they wouldn’t just let us walk in and take the place over,” I whispered under my breath. Ty must’ve heard me because his eyes cut to mine with a look of concern. He knew I was right; I could tell from the fear that was now forming in his eyes. Everyone in society thought that the project members were scary inhumane beings, but just like everyone else we cared for our own kind more than anything else. Fear was an emotion that we all felt, human or genetically altered, it was something all living beings felt.
“She’s right we need to separate the men into two groups. Group one, I want you coming in on the right side, group two you take the left. The rest of you need to come with me..” He pointed to the first group of members that had formed and then to the next.
"And remember no matter what that the objective is to get the information we need out of them.” I shivered as the wind blew, the coldness prickling my skin. Even if I was changed, my body and cells altered, I couldn’t help the human feelings, nor control the knowing feeling that I was different. When everyone else felt nothing, I felt everything. I felt it all.
We broke away from one another heading in the directions Ty ordered each group of us. A ticking timer went off in my head, the smell of fire in the air. I turned my attention to Ty to tell him what it was that I smelt but it was too late.
A boom sounded loudly, the after effects vibrating through me. A bomb exploded off to the right of us, towards the east wing of the building. Everyone huddled together, taking cover on the ground Words were being spoken amongst the chaos and just as I was about to speak, another explosion went off and then another.
Forcefully, my body began to move as I was yanked from the ground, Ty pulling me by the arm and into the building, his foot making contact with one of the back doors. The emergency sirens began again, blaring louder as we headed into the building and down the corridor.
“You can’t leave them behind, Ty!” I cried out, but he continued forward as if I hadn’t said a word.
A loud scream followed by another boom caused my pulse to spike and I could feel my heart breaking with each beat. What was going on and why was Ty leaving the others behind? I dug my feet into the tile floor, forcing him to stop and look at me.
“They knew the risks, Maggie. They’re here to protect you and I while we find your father and get our files. They will hold everything down out there and we will do what we need to inside of
here…” Ty’s voice stopped as he sniffed the air. I could smell it too and I didn’t even need to inhale to catch the whiff of medication that filled the area around us. I looked at him unsure of what to do, panic setting in. The smell of medicine triggered memories in some of the men, Killer had once told me.
“RUN!” Ty ordered, my body moving with all my might away from him and down the hall.
I headed down a corridor trying to remember what floor they had Killer on the last time I was here. All I knew was that it wasn’t upstairs, but in the basement. My feet continued to pound against the tiled floor, finding my father and the files that PGI had on Ty, Killer and myself being the only thing on my mind.
“Stop! Don’t take another step. Raise your hands above your head and do not move, any weapons you have drop them now.” A guard ordered, his face was covered in a white mask, as was the rest of his body. I growled, unaware I was even doing so.
“Tell me where my father is!” I demanded, ignoring what he had said altogether. When no reply came I headed straight towards him at a running pace. He gripped the gun he had in his hands firmly, raising it to fire at me at the same time, that I shot my arm out and hit his hand. My knee came up next and into his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Lifting my fist, I nailed him right in the face twice. Pain radiated throughout my knuckles as the urge to force his last breath out of him rocked through me. This feeling, this need to take his life was almost consuming but I didn’t have time to kill him, I just needed to disable him. Even with that being said, I still questioned myself, wondering if I had the time, could I actually do it? Could I kill another being? A life for the life they had stolen from me, and Killer, and all the other project members dead and alive.
His body hit the ground, bringing me out of my own head just as blood poured from his nose. I headed towards the stairs knowing that timing was of the essence, that and the stairs would get us where we needed to be far faster. Footsteps sounded up ahead, the lights above flickering off and on.
“We know all about your kind!” A guard yelled down the stairs, his voice crude as if my kind were beneath him. Instinct told me to run faster, to head towards the cells where they kept Killer before, so I listened to my gut, taking off as fast as my feet would carry me. I descended the stairs, my feet agilely maneuvering through each step with precision. I checked my surroundings, trying to stay focused so no one would catch me off guard, noticing the door ahead had a large medical sign and symbol on it.
“Maggie!” A voice called. His voice. I turned around, my body quivering as I his voice rained down on my body.
“Da-dad!!?” I gasped, turning to see where the voice had come from. Tears formed in my eyes.
“Maggie, save yourself. Please.” I could tell he had been beaten, his face bloody and exposed skin bruised, his voice weak and raw.
“You stupid cunt! We always knew you were one of them, especially with your animal loving ways. Tell me, will your Killer be upset to discover you’re dead?” A second voice met my ears the voice was, powerful and commanding. I turned, spinning on the heel of my foot, Roger’s face coming into view instantly, my eyes zoning in on the gun in his hand as I took him completely. He looked different; far darker and more malicious than he had been. Before I had a chance to respond, or even truly react he lifted the butt of his gun, slamming it into the side of my face.
A sharp ache radiated down the side of my head and across the apple of my cheek. I wobbled on my legs, falling into the wall and onto one of the steps. My vision blurred, but I focused on the task at hand, disabling anyone, anyhow if they interfered with the mission. Lifting my foot and landing a blow against his mid-section I watched as he staggered back, anger etched into his features like I had never seen.
“I see you still have fight in you.” He mocked, reaching for me again. I rolled just in time, his fingers snagging a couple strands of my hair as I shuffled to my feet, the bite of pain causing black spots to invade my vision.
“I see you’re still the same pathetic piece of shit you were before.” I snarled, baring my teeth like the wild animal inside of me. I wanted to kill him, sever his artery and watch him bleed out for what he had done to me over the years.
“You’re the dumbest bitch I have ever met,” Roger replied as our eyes connected, a look of confusion forming on his face as if I didn’t understand what was truly taking place here.
I took in a deep breath, the potent aroma of this institution burning the fine hairs in my nostrils. Our eyes stayed connected for a brief moment as everything around us slowed down profusely, and then he lifted the gun into the air. In a bat of an eyelash, the bullet disengaged from the chamber, the air around me stirring as everything in the stairwell shifted with time.
Unsure of what was loaded into the gun, bullets or a tranquilizer, I leaned to the right just as the projectile whizzed past.
“You missed.” I smiled mockingly and raised my fist, punching him square in his ugly ass face. I stepped forward another punch landing against his face and then another. One after the other. Blood dripped from his nose and eye but I kept going, even after the gun fell to the ground.
But Roger should’ve been the least of my worries after taking him down. After getting him out of my way I should’ve been focusing on saving my father and getting the files, and less on being adamant that Roger’s last day breathing would be today.
No, I should’ve been watching my back, I should’ve been paying attention to my surroundings, remembering all the training Killer beat into me day after day because I never saw the dart flying towards me, or the person who had shot it at me until I fell to the ground, my eyes filling with tears and my body going weak as my heart rate slowed.
It was then Ty’s voice met my ears, “I’m so sorry I had to do this to you, Maggie.” The look in his eyes was filled with and remorse, the pain in my heart was on the verge of bursting. I had trusted him. As my leader, and as my newly found brother.
That was my first mistake, the words bounced around in my head as Killer’s words entered my mind and my eyes drifted closed.
“Second rule, never get lost inside your own head. Your mind is your best and worst asset when it comes to defeating your enemy.”
Fifteen
Killer
The person I wanted to be and the person I was today were so different than the person I believed I would turn out to be. Life was nothing more than a trial and error run, somethings worked while others failed.
I knew without a doubt that I was one of the things that were failing.
“Just flip the switch back. Make yourself normal.” Xaiver talked as if he knew what it was like to switch off your humanity. Like he knew the fear that played out behind my lids every night when I slept. He knew nothing of my demons or the darkness that haunted me, none of them did and they never would.
“I flipped the switch to protect someone.” I growled out loud. I was still being held in the cell that I now referenced to as my cage. I was being contained like a rabid dog all because I had killed my own kind. Did they think locking me up like this would teach me a lesson? Because it wasn’t. I could care less that someone with the same genetics as me had lost their live at my hands. That was something I would do any day, even more so to protect something that was mine.
Xaiver huffed out a gruff laugh. He was now sitting on a stool, but still on the other side of the bars and still out of my reach. “You flipped the switch to protect someone, but killed like four of your own kind.” He ran a hand over his face. “Tell me in which fucking reality does that make sense? The one in your head, or the one you’re living because in my reality it makes zero sense.” Every single word he spoke was dripped in sarcasm. Sarcasm that only seemed to fuel my anger.
“You wouldn’t understand then because that’s just the thing, my reality and my memories aren’t the same as yours. There’s pieces inside of here…” I made a fist and beat against my head. “That don’t match up with the other pieces. There are time frames th
at make no sense, but most of all there’s a love story that makes me hate living, but love it at the same time.”
“Then you need to stop and think before you make a decision. Before you go off on a killing spree just to protect someone. Otherwise, you’ll spend your entire life in here instead of out there with Maggie.” Every time I heard her name, my heart soared through the air and landed on the ground like someone ripped it from my chest and threw it across the room.
“Let me ask you a question, Xavier. Have you ever looked at someone you love and thought about killing them? Have you ever witnessed someone murder the person that makes you who you are? Makes you stable, brings out the human inside of you instead of the altered creature that was created?” I gritted my teeth as one question turned into me firing one after the other. There was so many different feelings erupting inside of me that clinging on to just one was impossible.
“I don’t suppose I have.” He answered solemnly.
“So again I say, you wouldn’t understand. And with that I’d assume you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to want to kill yourself for witnessing those very things. If I ever hurt Maggie, if I ever ended her life, I would be ending my own life because where her life ends and begins−mine does too.” I couldn’t believe the words that had fallen from my very lips, a truth I had never wanted to speak to others because it made me vulnerable. Had I truly admitted that out loud? My one weakness was now exposed.
“Love is your biggest weakness, Maggie is your downfall, and as much as I know you don’t want to hear it, shutting it all off doesn’t save her from you. If anything it puts you at an even bigger risk.” He was giving me advice like he understood what it felt like to go through all Maggie and I had.
Maggie and I were on the verge of death, within distance of seeing heaven or maybe even hell, and then we fell in love somewhere in between all of that.