“This feels like a boss arena,” I muttered.
“Maybe.” Karalti sniffed uncertainly. “That blood over there is human. And I smell mana coming from somewhere, but it’s spoiled.”
I turned around, looking for signs of the undead. Other than some hissing and whispering, we hadn’t seen any sign of wraith activity. “Mana can spoil?”
“Yeah. It takes a really, really long time for mana to go bad, but it can. Especially in places with a lot of pollution.”
“How much mana are we talking, here?”
“A little? I'm not sure. It's hard to tell. A little bit smells the same as a lot, because of how it diffuses in the air.”
“Hmm.” After a couple of minutes, my eyes adjusted to the dim light, and I was able to get a proper look at the compost pile. “Hand me that pistol.”
Karalti passed it over. I checked it over, cocked the hammer back, and aimed it at the refuse heap.
“You think it's alive?” Karalti asked.
“Not taking any chances.” I sighted down and fired.
There was a deafening bang, and I glimpsed the glowing blue round before it blew into and through Shit Mountain like it wasn't there, flew out the back of it, and vanished into the wall. The mound didn't moan, shamble, or in any other way indicate it was anything other than a big pile of mud and garbage. Satisfied, I grunted, reloaded and rearmed the pistol, then tucked it into my belt.
“No wraiths in there,” I said. “Not unless they’re real squirrelly. Okay… let’s take a look at these doors.”
All four of the doors were plugged up – but the one on the right still had a small opening that looked ominously like something’s butthole. There was an ominous groan from deep underneath us, like the sound of metal being stretched to its limits, and I found myself thinking back to the sandworms as Karalti held the torch high.
There was something moving inside the hole about the size of a basketball. I raised the Spear like a harpoon while Karalti maneuvered the torch inside to get a better look. It was a giant beetle, like a dung beetle, but made of a weird brassy metal. An artifact. The machine was patiently rolling a massed ball of dirt and feces into position at the end of the tunnel, manipulating it with its back feet, its head facing toward us. It had a pair of fierce-looking mandibles, but other than clacking them at us, it showed no sign of aggression.
I scratched my chin. “Huh. Maybe it got out of the university? It looks like someone's science project. Not exactly what I was expecting, but I guess it could explain why we're all clogged up.”
“There’s no way one little beetle could do all this, right?” Karalti turned, casting light on the other doors.
“If it was working non-stop for a month, then maybe?” I angled the Spear into the hole, lined myself up, then thrust it forward.
The blade plunged in between the plates that acted as the beetle's shell, scattering blue-white sparks everywhere. It made a shrill whirring sound and collapsed - but before it expired, it emitted an ear-splitting ultrasonic pulse that made my eardrums throb.
[You killed Tomb Worker Drone! You gain-]
I felt the earth tremble before I heard it, and Shadow Danced along the curve of the wall on pure instinct as a colossal fist smashed into the floor where I had been standing.
Chapter 25
Karalti let out a shriek of warning, fleeing in the other direction as the heap in the middle of the floor reared up into a vaguely humanoid shape: big chest, narrow waist, like a giant's torso crudely modeled out of couple tons of congealed shit, dirt, and algae. And then I remembered something - Phantasmal Rounds didn't affect Constructs.
“Oh you motherfucking-” I Jumped out of the way as it swung around, twisting at the waist like a giant boxer, and swung a haymaker that barely cleared the edge of the chamber. “Karalti! Get out of here!”
“I'm trying!” she yelped, ducking under a follow-up punch that smashed into the wall over her head. It blew chips of stone out like shrapnel. I was now pretty sure what had caused the blood splatter on the floor.
The Spear burst into flames that turned black as I focused, then leaped into the air with a shout. The energy gathered along the shaft, surging as it split into no fewer than ten lances of boiling black mana. They rained down like homing missiles, slamming unerringly into the stinking soggy mass and rebounding back toward me. As the construct swung up, trying to bat me from the air, I boosted up and hit the second attack in the chain, Rain of Glass. The energy splintered into a devastating hail of blazing shards that spun at the huge creature and punched into its mass.
[You used Master of Blades! You deal 0 Damage!]
[You used Rain of Glass! You deal 0 Damage!
[HP: 25,000/25,000]
“DUDE! WHAT THE ACTUAL KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK!?” As I fell, I had to twist desperately in the air to avoid the Poop Golem's next strike. My toes had barely touched the ground when I remembered it had two arms. The second massive club rushed toward me, and I had just enough time to brace before it smacked into me and sent me flying across the room and into the wall. I hit it hard and bounced; the blow drove the air from my lungs and caused every one of my organs to wobble like jello.
[You take 278 crushing damage!]
Head pounding, I scrambled to my knees and Shadow Danced underneath the movement I sensed over my head. I barely made it, scooting out from under the hammer fist that would have crushed me like a bug against the floor.
What the hell? It didn't have a skull icon of any color beside its HP ring, still a smug shade of bright emerald green. It was within my level range, but my most powerful attack combo had done nothing to it. Nada. Zilch.
“Karaltiiii! Bioscan this thing!” I ran circles around it, keeping one eye on my diminishing stamina.
“On it!” I felt the air in the room rush and turn chilly, and caught a glimpse of Karalti as she concentrated from the doorway.
Tomb Guardian
Stranged Construct
HP: 25,000/25,000
MP: 230/230
A Greater Artifact immune to slashing, piercing, impact, and magical damage. It seems to have extreme damage reduction.
So the answer was that it was immune to everything. Awesome. Thanks, game. What the fuck was I supposed to do?
I rolled under another haymaker, sprung up, and darted forward. Once I was in range, I slammed the head of the Spear down. Thorny tendrils of black energy exploded out from the ground, wrapping the Tomb Guardian's arm up to its shoulder. Frost crackled through its soggy mass, freezing the limb in place for a scant moment - a couple of seconds, long enough that it had to flex against the Freezing debuff. As it moved its shoulder, a foot-thick chunk of frozen sewer clay broke away and tumbled to the ground. There was a flash of bright golden metal from underneath, and then the stench of the sewers faded, cleared out of the room by an unpleasant bitter smell, like almonds and burned engine oil.
[Warning: Mana concentrations are reaching dangerous levels! You are at risk of Mana poisoning.]
[Umbra Burst does 0 damage!]
“Fuck!” The Guardian's club fist swung at me again. I Danced to the side, only to reappear right underneath the other limb. Karalti cried out as it mashed me down. The armor took most of the hit, but I felt a dull wet snap inside my chest. Thin, frothy blood rushed up the back of my throat and into my mouth.
[You take 349 impact damage!]
[Your ribs are broken! -20 Stamina!]
[You have a punctured lung! -10 Dexterity!]
[You have internal bleeding!]
This thing was owning me. I stumbled under another swing and spat the blood, chest aching on every inhalation. My attacks weren’t hurting it. What the fuck was I supposed to do?
The golem slammed a fist into the floor, and another chunk of congealed stone and refuse went flying, dislodged by the force of the blow. And then, from the other side of the cistern, a chorus of hyena-like giggles pealed out from the darkness beyond the doorway.
“Wraiths!” Karalti crie
d.
Great. The damn things had probably been following us the entire time – watching and waiting for me, the undead-killing badass, to be too weak to defend against them.
I darted in, and triggered Umbra Blast a second time. This time, part of the construct's chest crackled with ice. Nothing fell off, but as the mud froze, big cracks appeared in its armor. And then I realized. Its armor.
Hope drove back the pain. I whooped, flipping up into the air over the Guardian's next swing, and hit Shattering Darkness. The Spear turned solid black, creaking as the blade and haft collected moisture from the air into a frigid coating of ice. I came down and slammed the blade into the golem’s protective shell, and as I twisted, the frost shot out from the point of impact across its shoulder and down its arm. The thick, protective shield of mud squeaked and crackled as it froze solid, then exploded into chunks as the construct twisted to dislodge me.
[Shattering Darkness deals 0 damage!]
“Eat it, asshole!” I shouted, dodging the next swing. The Shattering Darkness icon was grayed out while the 10-second cooldown timer ticked on. I was almost out of stamina when the icon flared black and ice blue. This time, I struck the construct right on top of its head. Zig-zag cracks shot down through its mass. As the huge machine reached up to try and pull me off, the cracks split and half a ton of rubble exploded to the floor, revealing an impassive metal head with a slit visor, like a Templar Knight's helmet.
Each time the mud fell away from one zone of its body, it got lighter - and faster. I fell back to the door, drooling blood and heaving for breath. Karalti had planted her feet just out of range of the golem’s arms, maintaining her Circle of Protection with gritted teeth. A translucent violet barrier filled the door, Words of Power hissing on the air around her. The shadows on the other side leered at us, giggling. I glanced a HP ring and a nametag: [Lesser Wraith]. They were remnants of the Demon’s army, one of the few kinds of undead that had not vanished when he’d fled for Napath.
“I can't hold this for much longer!” Karalti snarled. “I can use the spell again, but there's a cooldown!”
“Here!” I pulled the pistol and shoved it at her. When the shadows saw it, they hissed and pulled away, if only briefly. “Take this and use it to keep them back while I kill this thing!”
“Okay!” She cocked the hammer back and braced it in a tea-cup grip.
I spammed HP potions and a Stamina potion, spat to the side, and rushed back in – then was clipped by a punch that sent me sprawling. Even as I readied the next strike, the Tomb Guardian raised both fists and began to slam them down like a tantruming toddler, smashing the paving stones and threatening to knock me off my feet. I Jumped, sailed up, and then came down with Shattering Darkness. This time, the entire armor shell on the front of the golem's body broke apart and sloughed away, revealing a broad golden chest, long articulated arms that looked like huge flanged maces, and - most importantly - a core. The golem's core was a floating, rotted purple heart throbbing violently in a space inside its chest.
“Herrrrrrreeee's Johnny!” I backflipped to the floor and rushed in, Spear raised to strike.
The huge machine went still, tensed, and before I could get within its guard, each one of its arms split into three spindly, spider-like limbs. The long 'flanges' were not the edges of a club: they were blades that were folded into the arms like straight razors. The golem flicked four of them open, using the two lowest limbs to cover its chest - and the core.
“What the-!?” I ducked into a roll and Shadow Danced out of pure desperation as two of the blades whipped through the air. They sliced through the smoke, hitting me for 100 HP - 20% of what it would have done if I hadn't been immaterial. The Tomb Guardian swiped continuously, forcing me to roll, roll, and then flatten myself down. The pistol went off from the doorway, and the Golem spun around from its waist, lifting its hands to strike Karalti. In its mud-covered form, its arms hadn't been able to reach the entry to the arena - but now it had an extra five feet of reach.
“Watch out! Get that barrier up!” I roared, and without thinking, I flung my hand out and willed a loop of dark energy out like a lasso. The Black Lotus noose snapped around the Guardian's upper right arm and pulled it back, giving me a moment to cast one of my untapped abilities, Dancing Fly. It boosted my Evasion by 5% every time I successfully avoided an attack, draining my AP at one point per second: a small price to pay for not being mashed against the ground. I was just about to let go of the golem’s limb when I noticed something. Its joints were not clockwork. They floated in their sockets, bound by thin, erratic streams of sputtering mana. Weakness spotted.
“Get over here!” I yanked the noose back as hard as I could. The huge bladed limb clanged to the ground, and the Tomb Guardian torqued wildly, unbalanced by the sudden loss of weight on one side, and swiped out so fast I nearly got a haircut. It was all I could do to bend back, like a limbo dancer, and then drop to the ground and lizard crawl away from the next blows. The swipes pinned me on my back, and as the golem lifted an arm to cut me in half, I spat a mouthful of blood I and lashed out with Black Lotus again, snaring it and pulling it to the ground beside me. As soon as the second limb tore free, the Tomb Guardian uncrossed the arms guarding its core and I saw my chance. It lifted all of its remaining arms, preparing to ginsu me into little chunks. I rolled up and rushed in, lightning-fast, and levelled all three stages of the Blood Sprint combo right on the shuddering, vulnerable heart.
[You deal 1464 reduced Damage! HP: 23,536/25,000]
The Tomb Guardian made no sounds of pain, no cry of protest. Instead, it angled the stump of its arms toward the fallen limbs on the ground. Spoiled mana arced down, latching onto the forelimbs, and pulled them back toward the body of the machine as it kept me busy with the limbs that still worked. It crossed its lowest pair of arms again - and its attacks became fiercer and faster. Gasping for breath, I hit another Stamina potion. The meter surged up, but I stumbled forward one step too close and caught one of the swords right across my chest. Metal screeched on metal, and it spun me around and threw me down.
[You take 390 damage!]
[Your Raven Suit is Badly Damaged! -50% armor]
“Dammit, shadows! Go away!” Karalti screeched wordlessly in rage as her barrier dropped, and the wraiths pressed closer. As I flipped up to my feet, she fired the pistol and hit one. It screamed and vaporized, and the others scattered back. A chill passed through me - if they broke past her while I was fighting this thing, it would kill me and she would be left here, alone, in an environment where she couldn't shift back into dragon form to defend herself.
“Keep holding them!” I shook my head and dashed back in. As the Tomb Guardian swiped and slashed, I dodged, weaved, and then looped Black Lotus around its arm and pulled. The limb came off and went flying, while another sword ploughed into the broken ground and sent a cloud of pulverized dust into the air. I Danced sideward, then Jumped up and pulled another arm off. As before, it revealed its core to compensate for the lost arms. I roared, gathering my pain and fear into the Spear of Nine Spheres, and rained death down on the construct's torso.
[You land a critical hit! You deal 4473 damage! Tomb Guardian HP: 19,063/25,000]
The machine slumped as ichor burst from its heart. It clutched at its chest, shuddering, then reared up as dark smoke poured through the slits in its helmet. While I tried to find another opening, it planted two of its remaining limbs on the ground, hunched forward, and extruded a fourth pair of arms from its back. Arms that ended in what looked disturbingly like anti-tank rifles.
“Why!? What did I do to deserve this shit?!” I snarled as the gun barrels tracked me and began to fire, shattering pavers. It swiped rhythmically with its sword arms - all six of them, because it had picked the ones I'd pulled up off the ground already. As I circled back around to the front of the Tomb Guardian, my heart sunk. It wasn't hiding its core anymore, because the core was now covered by a big chunk of congealed sewer clay it had crammed in and over it li
ke a plaster bandage. “Is it because I swore at my mom? Is it because I didn't donate enough to the homeless shelter? Why does it have guns? WHY DOES IT HAVE GUNS!?”
The gun arms weren't as mobile as the sword arms, but they were designed the same way - there was only pulsing violet light where the joints should have been, making them vulnerable to Black Lotus. I tried to land Shattering Darkness on the barrier protecting the core, but was knocked aside by the blunt edge of one of the swords. The Guardian swept them in a wide, serpentine pattern that made it almost impossible to get near it, firing at me in bursts over its shoulders. Karalti cringed back, sweating pale blue as she strove to keep the Circle of Protection up against the shades howling at the door.
“Fuck you! Fuck me! Fuck!” The only thing I could think to do was disable the fucking Howitzers. I chugged my last Stamina potion and rushed in, Shadow Dancing through the fan of swords and soaking the damage so I could get behind it. My AP recharged just enough that I could spam Black Lotus. The lasso lashed forward, snapping around the golem's elbow. I yanked it back with a snarl, and the fire from that limb cut as it tumbled and clanged across the floor... and dislodged the massive rifle from its 'hand'. Inspiration struck me then: I ran forward, ducking beneath a sword that struck the very edge of my helmet and knocked it flying off my head, and scooped the rifle off the ground. It was far too large for me: I braced it as well as I could, sighted down at the core, and fired.
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