She smirked, setting her designer bag on one chair and sitting in the next one, “Oh come on, darling.”
I moved around my desk to hover over her, “I swear to God, Lindsey. Get the fuck out of my office now!”
“You’re going to cause a scene, dear. Calm down,” she said, patronizingly.
The arrogant tone of her voice coupled with the smug look on her face made my blood boil. I let out a frustrated growl and stalked back to my desk, refusing to sit, “What the hell do you want, Lindsey?”
She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder and smiled knowingly at me, “You know what I want, Derrick.”
Her brown eyes traveled up and down the length of my body, pausing briefly at my lower half. I sighed, impatiently. If she thought I’d ever go down that road with her again, she was even more of a lunatic than I thought.
I wasn’t exactly sure why I married her in the first place. She wasn’t my type. In fact, she was the exact opposite of my type. She was tall and all legs with surgically enhanced breasts that were slightly too big for her thin frame. Her hair color came from a bottle and it looked like she’d gotten some recent lip surgery — her bottom lip was fuller now.
I sat down in the chair, sighing again, “You know I’m working on it.”
“Well work faster. It’s been over a year and the little disappearing act you pulled doesn’t exactly make me feel like trusting you to follow through with your end of the bargain.”
I scrubbed at my face, “I’m working as fast as I can.”
She looked around my office, “Hmm. Seems like you found a jackpot right here. You should have more than enough at this point.”
I tightened my jaw. Lindsey didn’t know any particulars as far as how much money I had or charged for my services, but I was sure Jason let her in on details of my contract.
“You know,” she started, “because I’ve had to track your ass down and come all the way up here to find you, I’m feeling like I should be compensated for my trouble.”
“I never asked you to come here.”
She chuckled, “You’re right about that, but boy am I glad to finally see you again, baby…” she trailed off, standing up. And before I realized what was happening, she was sitting on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, pushing her breasts in my face. “I know you’re acting tough, but don’t you miss me too?” She poked out her bottom lip.
I tilted my head away from her, my skin on fire from her touch.
Everything about her was wrong. The way she smelled, the way she fit in my lap, the way she clung to me. She wasn’t Alina. Even if she wasn’t blackmailing me, I could never go back. Alina had changed everything.
I was ruined for anyone else but her.
“Get off of me,” I said, as calmly as I could muster.
She stood with a huff, “You think that girl will ever want you back after what you did to her?” She laughed, “You’re pathetic. No woman would ever want a lying, former dirty cop turned pathetic investigator.
You can’t even do this job without screwing yourself over.”
My patience was running thin and I was seconds away from completely losing my cool.
“Get. Out,” I warned.
“Or else what?” she countered, “You can’t do anything to hurt me. In fact, you need me.”
“I don’t need shit from you,” I gritted back, my volume rising.
“Oh yes you do, baby. You need me to keep my mouth shut about your dirty dealings so your ass doesn’t end up being someone’s bitch in jail. They don’t like cops in there, from what I’ve heard,” she sneered.
I picked up the nearest object I could find and threw it against the wall with a roar. The binder cracked open upon impact, sending papers flying around the room. My chest heaved with unspent rage and I briefly considered choking the shit out of her. This was the same argument we’d had for years. Anytime she wasn’t getting her way, she threatened my freedom and I was powerless.
“Now I want eight hundred thousand,” she said, a satisfied look on her face.
“GET OUT!” I roared, pushing more things off my desk.
Everything crashed around the room, falling to the floor at her feet. She picked up her bag and winked, “Don’t take too long with my money, baby.”
I grabbed my laptop, ready to chuck it at her head, when she turned and sauntered out of the office. I was in hulk smash mode, breathing heavily. My heart hammering wildly in my chest while I stood rooted to the spot, unable to think or move. Overwhelmed with unexpressed emotion, tears prickled the corners of my eyes.
Fuck her.
And her demands.
And fuck Jason too for bringing her here.
I set my laptop down and scrubbed at my face with my hands. I was stuck and royally fucked. She just increased her demands by three hundred thousand dollars. And she just poured a gallon of salt in the Alina-sized wound in my heart.
I flopped down into my chair and clicked furiously on the desktop, pulling up her file. I tormented myself, clicking through the hundreds of pictures I had of her. So many stills of her completely unaware that she was being watched. And toward the end, a few of that she’d let me take of her. We hadn’t gotten around to an actual photo session, like she asked, but I had taken some photos while in her apartment. A few of them just before or after sex. The afters were my favorite.
Her hair was always tangled and wild. Her eyes hooded and dazed. And her lips were swollen and pouty from the way my mouth assaulted hers. The passion we shared was unheard of. I was able to lose myself completely in her, block out everything in my head and just be. Something I’d never experienced before. A connection I never thought was possible. Something other people were able to have, but not me. Not until her.
I reached for the office phone and picked up the receiver, hand poised to dial her number, but I hesitated. She wouldn’t pick up anyway.
I’d only listen to her generic voicemail and then hang up. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to leave her any more messages after she demanded I leave her alone. Sighing, I set the phone back on the cradle, letting my head fall into my hands again.
Something needed to change. All of my self control had flown right out the window the moment she wasn’t in my life anymore. I’d done the unthinkable and gotten involved with my subject. Then I fucked up and fell in love with her. I should have told her who I was from the beginning. At least when things had gotten more serious with us. I thought back to all the times we held each other in silence and how many opportunities I had to open up and tell her the truth. All of those opportunities wasted.
“Um, Derrick?” a tentative voice asked.
I looked up and saw Vivian standing just outside the door, eyes wide at the mess splayed all over the floor. I rushed to my feet and around the desk, bending to pick up the first few items in her way.
“Oh hey, Mrs. Prescott. I’m sorry about the mess. I didn’t think anyone was coming by,” I rambled.
Her eyes roamed my office space, taking in the disheveled appearance. I gathered all of the larger items and set them haphazardly on my desk, then rifled around for the spare bits of paper that had been strewn all around. Once a space was clear, she walked in and took a seat. The same seat Lindsey had been occupying only minutes earlier.
“Is everything alright, dear? Am I interrupting something?” she inquired, her eyes following me around as I stuffed papers into the cracked binder and tried to straighten up the mess.
“No, no,” I answered, clearly flustered, “you’re fine.” Shoving the last of the papers into the folder and dumping it into my desk drawer, I looked up at her, “What can I do for you?”
Her cat-like eyes lifted up at the corners as she examined me for a moment before she opened her mouth, “Are you sure you’re alright, dear?”
I plastered a smile on my face, “Yes ma’am. All is well. I promise.” I wasn’t happy about lying to her, but my problems weren’t her concern. No matter how much she approved of me.
Her smiled faded and her eyes got big and round as her brows drew together, “I’m worried, Derrick. I haven’t heard from Alina in almost a month. Even when she left the first time, at least we knew she was safe with you. But now, I have nothing. Have you heard from her at all?”
I shook my head, trying not to look as forlorn as I felt. “She won’t answer my calls and I have no way of knowing what she is doing or where she is, ma’am.”
“Could you go to her? Physically check and see that she’s alright? I’m trying so hard to be positive and trust that she’s ok, but I’m her mother,” she laughed weakly.
The corner of my mouth twitched, “I completely understand. I’ll see what I can do.”
A grateful smile spread across her face, “You’re a gem, darling.
Thank you so, so much.”
I stood after she pushed back from the desk, and came around to hug her. The woman was a powerhouse. There was no doubt about that. But like she had said earlier, she’s a mother. Her fragility lies in the simple fact that her heart had spliced three times over when she gave birth to her three children. And not knowing where one of them was located, not knowing if she was safe or not, could not be easy.
This whole time I was grieving my own loss and not considering how her whole family was feeling. While at their home for dinner, the atmosphere had felt different without Alina being there, but everyone kept up a brave front. No one seemed to ready to admit that she was missed until they were pulled aside or away from the group.
Must be a Prescott family trait, I thought, not showing weakness.
After Vivian left, I scribbled on a notepad, Go to Alina, then set about straightening my office. I still had no clue how I was going to deal with the Lindsey situation, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of ruining anything for me. Even if she was hellbent on doing so.
After I’d put my office back together and closed out the files of Alina, I decided to take an early lunch. Locking up my door, I nodded at the few people that passed me in the hallway. I wasn’t used to seeing other people during the office day. Since moving to the publishing house offices, to make myself more available for the campaign, I had to deal with the myriad of people who floated in and out of the building.
I stuffed my phone into my back pocket and walked out into the sunlight. The weather was a bit more mild than usual and the breeze blew cold while the sun warmed my skin. I was contemplating where I’d go to grab food when my phone vibrated against my butt. I sighed, pulling it out and pressing the green button.
“Derrick Williams,” I answered, my voice monotone but professional.
“Derrick, this is Rosa.”
There was no mistaking her voice. I smiled involuntarily, remembering Rosa and the few fun interactions I’d had with her.
“Hey Rosa. How are you?”
“Well honey, I’m a bit angry with you, but I understand why you had to do what you did.”
The smile on my face fell. I didn’t know Rosa very well, but I knew how close she was to Alina and I didn’t enjoy that I upset her either. When Alina disappeared, I asked Rosa to check on her, but I didn’t take into account that Alina would have confided in her. Rosa was her entire support system out in Cold Spring.
Especially since—
I shook my head, wanting to rid myself of the guilt, even if it was just temporarily.
“I love her, Rosa,” I blurted out.
To me, it wasn’t enough that Alina knew. It wasn’t enough that Vivian knew as well. I needed everyone to know.
“I believe you.”
“I wanted to tell her everyth—“
She cut me off, “Derrick, you don’t need to explain anything to me. I understand. We all have our mountains to overcome.”
I sighed, grateful that she wasn’t going to crucify me. Though I’d never seen her mean streak, I could only imagine.
“I called because I need your help.”
“What can I do for you?” I asked, sitting down on a bench in the shade of a large tree, curious about what she could possibly need from me.
“I haven’t seen Alinita in awhile. Nearly two weeks. I tried to call her, but she won’t answer my calls.”
“She’s not taking anyone’s calls Rosa,” I muttered.
“She’s more than taken my calls. I had a bunch of people taking care of her for weeks while she was depressed and staying in bed over you.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. My stomach hurt thinking about Alina lying in bed, unable to care for her self. And all because of me and what I did to her.
“I didn't know that.”
“She was finally getting better. Getting out and moving around town. I was glad to see my little cariña coming back to life. But now,”
she paused, “nothing. I try to call her and she doesn’t answer me. I tried to call from other numbers, blocking my number, everything. And when I went over to her place, the locks were changed.”
That piqued my interest. Alina may have shut everyone else out of her world, but she would never do that to Rosa.
“How recently had you been over with your key?” I asked, sitting up straighter now with this new information.
“My staff was over at her place two weeks ago from today.”
My jaw ticked mulling over what I was hearing. Her locks had been changed within the last two weeks without any concrete rhyme or reason. That went completely against who she was. The visit from Vivian flashed in my head. There had to be a reason why people were worrying over Alina and her disappearance this time. Although she didn’t want anything to do with me, I couldn’t honestly say that I wouldn’t feel better
knowing she was safe and sound. Even if it got me into deeper water with her.
“Rosa, I’m coming to Cold Spring.”
a
By the time I arrived in the small town, the sun was slowly setting, casting brilliant orange and pink hues across the sky. I parked my truck right outside of Alina’s house and stood just before her stairs.
Crossing my arms, I examined her brownstone. At first glance, it seemed pretty typical.
The flowers she’d planted out front looked a bit desolate and dry, but nothing truly out of the ordinary. Walking up, I checked her mailbox, situated just outside of her front door. It was empty. Peeking into the tiny windows through her door, the lights were off. Nothing truly interesting.
I walked back down the stairs, keeping my eyes peeled, but not seeing much. Her backyard was easily assessable from the front, and as with the front, not much grabbed my attention. The small patch of grass she had needed a trim, but her patio furniture looked untouched so it would make sense if no one had been outside in the first place. I pulled on the door handle to see if, by chance, it was unlocked, but it didn’t budge.
Peering through the windows, I remembered one of the last times we were in her kitchen together. The time I made her a sandwich and she couldn’t even finish it before we were practically tearing the clothes off each other. I groaned a sigh, the ache of missing here physically hurting my chest. Pressing my forehead to the glass door, I closed my eyes and tried to steady myself, but all I saw was her.
I could feel her hands all over me. Her warm breath touching my skin before she’d kiss me. The way she fit perfectly against my body while we laid together. Even the way her massive head of curls would damn near suffocate me in the middle of the night. Remembering her and all of the little nuances that made me fall in love with her made me smile.
And in the next moment, I felt that gnawing emptiness. I was in love with a woman whom I had deceived and now I’d lost her. She was completely unreachable to everyone who ever cared about her and it was one hundred percent my fault. If I hadn’t been a coward, she’d still be here. Of course, she’d be upset with me, but at least she’d be within reach. I know I could’ve won her trust back eventually.
I gently bumped my head against the glass and muttered a curse under my br
eath. I needed to focus.
When I opened my eyes, my gaze landed on a jagged silver shard lying near the baseboard of the island. From where I stood, everything else seemed to be in place, but this silver piece was completely out of order. Everything in her kitchen, minus the appliances, was white, including the marble counter on top of the island.
I gripped the door handle again, checking if I could open it. Still locked. Without thinking, I pulled out my pocket knife and started picking the lock. Having done this many times in the past, with several different types of locks, I knew opening it would be child’s play. I swept the knife between the door and the strike plate for a few minutes until I could feel the lock disengage from the doorjamb. Twisting the door knob, I paused when it clicked open.
This was breaking and entering. And while I had good reason, it could easily go downhill. If she was inside somewhere and came down to find me, or if someone else was here or in the area and happened to see me. This could be bad. But I wasn’t the only person invested in
Losing Her (Lost and Found Book 1) Page 26