I would belong to him. He was making sure of it.
I bit my lip, bracing myself as he slid into me. And just like before, he felt wrong. Every inch of him, as he invaded me, burned. He thrusted hard against me, slamming his hips to mine and I cried out in pain. I pressed my face against the table, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to keep my instinct to fight and resist at bay.
Derrick.
Anything for him. My suffering for his life.
Jason’s hot mouth found the shell of my ear and he licked me there, squeezing the side of my breast harshly as he groaned with each thrust of his hips.
“Is this how you like it?” he asked, holding my hips down on the table as he rocked into me.
I forced myself not to cry, biting my lip so hard I was beginning to taste my own blood. I wouldn’t fight back, but I wouldn’t give him anything else. He could have my body, but in my mind I focused on creating a picture of Derrick.. I try to imagine it’s him buried deep inside of me, his hands all over my body, and for a short-lived moment, it works.
We’re back at my house. In the kitchen. He laid me down gently on the countertop and he was making love to me. The mouth all over me was his. The rough feeling between my legs was because of his passion. I was in this moment with him.
Until Jason’s voice rips through my head and I hear him starting to orgasm. He slammed into me relentlessly, shouting a slew of expletives before emptying himself into me. After a few moments, he stood up and stared down at me with contempt in his eyes. I kept my eyes closed, trying to hide the tears that threatened to spill down my face. The shame of what had just happened completely overwhelming me.
“Go get cleaned up,” he ordered, pulling up his pants and fastening them in place.
I pulled the dress back down over my hips and stood up, Keeping my gaze down, I practically ran back to my bedroom and into the bathroom. Locking it shut, I fell back against the door, sliding down to the ground. My vision blurred completely at the steady stream of tears I finally let fall down my face.
I cried for myself. I cried for Derrick. I cried for my family. I cried for everything I would never be able to do and experience. I cried for my body. The pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt. The space between my legs throbbed painfully and my insides felt raw. Glancing up at the tub, I was struck with the overwhelming feeling of being dirty.
I crawled over to it, unable to find the strength in my legs to use them. Pulling and twisting the knobs, the basin filled with hot water. I thought back to the first bath Jason had ever given me. It was so hot, it burned my skin. That was what I needed to wash away what just happened.
I sank into the water, folding my arms and hugging myself tightly. The tears had slowed some and I rested my head back, desperate to stop feeling and thinking for just a moment. I couldn’t help but remember everything he said, everything I’d done to provoke him, and the way he’d invaded my body like he belonged there.
Behind my closed eyes, I visualized Derrick again. His arms replaced mine and he was holding me. The lapping water on my skin was him smoothing his hands over me, healing me like only he could. I sank further down, imagining the back of the tub was his strong, expansive chest. If I was going to spend the rest of my life here, my memory of Derrick would save me.
The water had run cold and my fingers and toes were spongy by the time I’d crawled out of the tub and into the bedroom. I looked at the jar of coconut oil sitting on the dresser, debating on whether or not I should slather some on or not. I had scrubbed every inch of my skin no less than ten times and coupled with the searing temperatures of the water initially, my skin was raw and sensitive. I sighed, deciding to forego putting anything else on my skin except a thick pair of pajamas.
Sleep came quickly. So fast I hadn’t even realized I had fallen asleep in the first place. What woke me up was the sound of voices on the other side of the door that was slightly ajar.
“What do you mean?” Jason’s gruff voice was the first I recognized.
“I saw him wondering around the property, sir. Then he picked the lock and went inside.”
That sounded like Joe.
“Are you sure it was him?”
Silence followed.
“He went in through the front door?”
“No sir,” Joe replied, “he went in through the back door.”
My ears perked up, but I stayed underneath the covers, not wanting to be caught listening in. Was someone here last night? Who were they talking about?”
“What did he do inside? You cleaned everything up, right?”
“I did sir. It seems like he went room to room just looking for her, but he came outside and the neighbor lady joined him. They were looking at some kind of video feed.”
“Fuck. He must’ve left a camera there or something. You didn’t find anything in your sweep?”
“No sir. It was clean.”
Jason made a grumbling sound and then footsteps sounded in my direction. I snuggled deeper under the covers, not wanting him to see me or think I was awake. The door creaked open a bit and I could feel his presence at the entrance of the room.
“What do you want me to do sir?”
“Well don’t fucking wake her up. That’s number one,” he chastised Joe, then dropped his voice to a whisper, “Second, change the locks again. Make them harder to open. I don’t care if he’s a private investigator or not, he shouldn’t be able to open the door to her apartment. If he knows she’s missing, he’s going to look for her.”
The door shut and I let out the breath I was holding. Hope beat rapidly in my chest. He was looking for me. Derrick was looking for me.
TWENTY-EIGHT | Derrick
I checked my watch again.
They would all be here in about ten minutes.
And in ten minutes, I’d have to be the one to tell them that their daughter and sister wasn’t just ignoring everyone and keeping to herself. I’d have to tell them that she had been kidnapped.
After seeing the video yesterday, I had been consumed with anger. The private investigator side of me wanted to watch it over and over again to look for clues. But I wasn’t just an investigator anymore. I was in love with her. My heart couldn’t stand to watch her run and fight and, ultimately, lose the battle with her kidnapper. Every bit of my professionalism went out the door when it came to Alina. Especially now.
Fury was my motivation and the fear of losing her for good was my determination. Losing her once was too much to bear, but this… no.
I’d never survive if anything happened to her. I was at odds with myself.
Wanting to tear everything apart and burn the whole world down one second, and then the next feeling like the life had been sucked from me.
Not being able to stand and needing to drown myself in a bottle of liquor. Both parts of me wanted…no, needed to find Alina, but only one side of me would be able to shoulder the burden. Watching Rosa cry yesterday made my stance even more clear. I wasn’t going to crumble right now. I had to keep it together to find her. So I chose fury.
I was pacing back and forth when I felt a presence in the room.
Turning, I let my shoulders falter just a bit when I saw Rod standing in the library of the Prescott mansion. He was the only one who could see through any facade and who knew me on the inside. The way he was staring at me, it was evident that he knew how messed up I was over this. The fact that he’d made the trip up here, completely last minute, reinforced how deep our bond ran.
“Fuck man,” I started, tears welling up in my eyes. My fury breaking for just a moment. With Rod, it was safe.
He closed the distance between us, pulling me into a hug. He was the only man that I could be this vulnerable and open with, “Derrick, we’re going to find her. I’m not letting this son of a bitch get away with it.
Understand?”
He pulled back, holding me at arms length, both hands on either of my shoulders. I nodded, wiping the tears from my eyes, and then looked back at him.
>
“Damn right. I feel so fucking helpless, man. I should’ve been there.”
“Oh no you don’t. Fuck all of that bullshit. You couldn’t have done anything. She told you to leave and you respected her wishes. You did the right thing. Hell, you’re doing the right thing now because most people wouldn’t have looked for her again. They would’ve assumed she wanted to disappear.”
Rod was a no nonsense man. He didn’t accept excuses or reasons why something wasn’t done. But he also didn’t let someone beat themselves up over things outside of their control.
“I feel like I’m going to lose it, Rod. I can’t lose her.”
His large brown eyes connected with mine, “You won’t lose her, Derrick. You won’t lose her.”
Thomas and Vivian came in the room just then, a mix of trepidation and curiosity on their faces. It was ten in the morning and I’d only recently called this meeting late last night. I wanted to make sure everyone was in the room together and we didn’t waste any time playing telephone with the facts.
I pulled myself together and plastered a polite smile on my face,
“Good morning Sir, Ma’am.” I gestured toward Rod, “This is my good friend, Rod. Rod, this is Thomas and Vivian Prescott.”
They exchanged handshakes and pleasantries just as Benjamin and Jonathan came in. After more introductions were made, we all took a seat around the center of the room.
I thought about how many times I’d been in this same room and the many different reasons or scenarios that brought me there. From my first time being hired to work for the election and the stand off with Jason, and thinking I was going to lose my job meeting with Vivian, to now, having to give them this horrifying news. It’s not something anyone should ever have to deal with, but most certainly not this family. They weren’t without their quirks and downsides, but overall, they were good people.
“Derrick, are you alright, dear?” Vivian asked.
I lifted the corner of my mouth, “Honestly, Mrs. Prescott, I’m not.
I hate that I have to be the one to tell you all this, but…”
“What is it?” Thomas perked up.
“Is there something wrong with the campaign?” Benjamin interjected.
I shook my head, “No. No, everything is fine on that front. It’s about Alina.”
There was a collective inhale and suddenly, I felt the war between fury and fear raging in my chest. I let fury take the reigns. I couldn’t let these people see me falter at all. I knew they would come apart. I had to be the glue that kept it together.
“What’s wrong with Alina?” Thomas asked.
I paused for a second, “She’s been kidnapped.”
Vivian cried out and collapsed into Thomas’s chest. He held his wife tightly, his brow furrowed as he processed what I’d just said.
Benjamin and Jonathan started asking questions. Rod sat in the corner of the room, looking tense and determined. And I looked to the floor, letting the fury pulse through my body while the images of Alina struggling running through my brain on repeat.
“How do you know?” Jonathan asked, interrupting the chaos.
“I saw it,” I answered, my chest pounding. A fresh new wave of images started up again.
“What do you mean you saw it?” Thomas asked, smoothing Vivian’s hair as she sobbed against his chest.
“Why didn’t you stop it?” Benjamin interjected.
“Do you honestly think Derrick would witness an abduction, live and in person, and not stop the damn thing from happening?” Rod said.
Everyone turned and looked at him. For a moment, I wanted to laugh. Only Rod could come into the house of one of the most prestigious families in New York and talk to them this way.
“I mean think about it guys. Derrick was an officer of the law for many years before joining the private sector. He’s highly decorated and comes highly recommended. Furthermore, he’s in love with that girl.”
“That’s precisely the problem. His judgments might be a bit..off,”
a familiar voice chimed in.
A fresh hot dose of fury rippled down my back as Jason walked into the library. Followed closely by the security team. I’d done my due diligence to email him about the meeting, but had secretly hoped he would still be on vacation and unable to attend. There was no hate lost in the almost two weeks since I’d last seen him. If anything, my fury for him alone had grown tenfold. I swallowed my pride. This was for Alina.
“You’re late,” I said, impassively. I didn’t want to give him an ounce of my emotions.
“I got your email and I’m here,” he replied, matter-of-factly.
“Alina’s gone, Jason,” Vivian sobbed.
His eyes flashed and then his face turned sympathetic toward her, “She’s been gone, ma’am. She always does this.”
“Derrick says this is different this time. He says she’s been abducted,” Thomas added.
Jason rolled his eyes, “And you believe that? Please!” He waved his hand dismissively, “Alina is a terrorist. She’s been waiting to ruin this family for awhile and now that you’re running for office, she’s pulled her disappearing act twice. Maybe this time, she’s just gotten better at not being found. Are we really going to trust what he says?”
I shot up, “Fuck you, Jason. I don’t give a damn what you think.
I’m here to help. If you’re not going to be part of the solution, I suggest you take your bodyguards and leave.” I turned toward the family, “I didn’t stop it because I was too late.”
I opened my laptop and turned the screen to face them, “This is what I saw. Just a forewarning, it’s graphic. So prepare yourself as best as you can.” I pressed the play button, letting the cued video run.
Vivian pulled away from Thomas and watched, hands over her mouth. The rest of Alina’s family sat horrified as she ran for life, and
ultimately lost the fight. The images that I couldn’t get out of my head were now seared into theirs. There was no way they couldn’t believe me.
The tape stopped and Vivian began sobbing loudly with Thomas soothing her, while trying to maintain his own composure. Both of her brothers had tears in their eyes, staring transfixed at the screen.
My attention went to Jason, who had a murderous look in his eye, “Have anything else to say, Jason?”
His chest heaved as he glared at me, “Where did you get that?”
“I have my sources.”
“What do we do now?” Thomas asked, his voice cracking. “We need to find her.”
My face softened, hearing the heartbreak in his voice. I knew they were the closest out of everyone and as much as this was killing me, I knew it must’ve been even worse for him. “Now, we find her.”
“When was this video taken?” Jonathan asked.
“Nearly two weeks ago,” I said, frowning. I knew with every day that passed, the chances of losing her for good were greater. That was just the reality of these types of cases.
“Don’t we typically only have seventy-two hours before things get worse?” Benjamin asked.
I looked in his direction, mirroring the same worried expression he had for a moment before readjusting my tough exterior. I could see Thomas, Vivian, and Jonathan hanging on my next words.
“That’s typical, yes. However, I don’t think this was a typical kidnapping.”
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jason storming out of the library, security in tow. I wasn't going to be bothered with chasing after him or keeping him updated on this situation anymore. He knew the details. If he wanted to participate, he would.
“What do you mean?” asked Vivian.
I sat back down, “Do you think there would be anyone who would want to hurt Alina? Do you have any enemies?”
The whole family looked around amongst themselves, but came up short.
“No, there’s no one that I can think of,” Thomas answered.
“What about your opponent? How tense is the race between you two for governor?” Rod as
ked, breaking his silence.
I nodded, “Exactly. How badly does he want to win?”
Thomas held up his hands, “Listen, if he wants to be governor, he can have it. I just want my daughter home safely.”
I exchanged a look with Rod, “We’ll take care of it. Either way,” I looked back at Thomas, “we’ll figure out who is behind this.”
“Should we alert the press?” Vivian asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.
My eyes shifted back to Rod, who shook his head a little bit. I trusted this man with my life, so I trusted his judgement.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he spoke up, his gruff voice commanding everyone’s attention again. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands in a prayer pose, “Wherever she is, she’s most likely being guarded or watched twenty-four seven.
Losing Her (Lost and Found Book 1) Page 28