While I waited, I read books. I did research on how to help rape and abuse victims. I helped the detectives. There was an open and ongoing investigation on him, since he hadn’t been caught yet. In the first statement Alina had made, she divulged that she stabbed him in the arm with a piece of wood and also shot him in the stomach. Which explained the other blood sample that had been collected on the scene.
Because he was on the run, I did as much as I could to stay in the loop on his possible whereabouts.
As much as I wanted the authorities to find him, I wanted to be the one who caught him first. I needed my own form of justice. He had to pay for what he did to Alina, and I was the perfect one to ensure he did.
My attention was on her again as she started thrashing around in the bed. Her arms flailing around and her face twisted in agony.
“NO! Stop please! I’ll stop running!” she cried out.
I was standing over here, stilling her head in my hands in two seconds flat, “Alina, wake up! It’s just a dream. You’re safe baby.”
Her eyes flew open and searched around, finally settling on mine. I caressed her cheek, attempting to slow her heart rate so her chest would stop heaving from her erratic breathing.
“Derrick!” she gasped.
“I’m here baby. You’re safe.”
Her breathing slowed and she swallowed. I brushed my fingers through her short curls to comfort her, blinking back tears of my own. It wrecked me seeing her this way and not being able to fix it. But I wouldn’t let her suffer alone.
Eventually she calmed down, closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep. I waited patiently, letting my touch soothe her back into peaceful dreams. When her breaths were long and even, I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
“You’re safe baby. Now and forever.”
-EIGHT WEEKS LATER-
Much to her chagrin, the orthopedist kicked me out of the room to remove her walking cast. She still didn't like being without me, but she was less violent these days. I stood, leaning against the wall of the doctor’s office, checking text messages on my phone. The beginning of fall was uncharacteristically warm, given the time of year, and a few beads of sweat had formed on my forehead.
Rod
How’s everything healing?
Me
Fine. She’s getting the cast off today.
Any new leads?
Rod
Nothing yet. We think he’s skipped town.
I frowned. Rod was leading the investigation on Jason that I organized privately. I was still dead set on my own brand of justice for Alina’s sake. Together Rod and I put together the best team of professionals in the field to track him down. It was frustrating that after over two months they still hadn’t found him.
Always on cue, Rod answered my untyped thoughts:
Rod
We’re gonna find him, kid.
I smirked at my phone. Typical Rod. Knowing how to reply before I even formulated my own thoughts.
“What are you smirking at, handsome?”
My smirk turned into a full blown smile at the voice of my angel.
I stowed my phone in my pocket, raising my eyes to see her standing, unassisted, with her arms crossed and hip cocked to the side. I was struck by her beauty every single time I saw her, even if she was changing before my eyes.
Long gone was the girl from the portrait over the fire. The woman I loved had cut the rest of her hair off. Untamed and highlighted curls flopped over one eye while the rest of her hair was cut close to her head, exposing her neck. I appreciated the easier access to that delectable slice of flesh, but it had taken some getting used to. And as her comfort with short hair grew, she was becoming more enthralled with the idea of cutting it all off.
I closed the distance between us quickly. One thing that hadn't waned at all was the need to be close to each other. Both of us were
adamant about constantly having a hand on the other. We were always touching. For me, it was more than just reassuring myself that she wasn’t going to be taken from me. It was my unspoken way of honoring my promise to never leave her side.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her close. She winced when I touched my nose to hers.
“Did I hurt you?” I quizzed.
“No, just this damn nose ring,” she said, lifting a finger to adjust the golden hoop in her left nostril.
I kissed the tip of her nose. It was yet another thing I was adjusting to. The outside may have looked different than before, but she was still my Alina. Still beautiful. Still my everything.
“You ready to get out of here?” I asked, kissing the corner of her mouth impatiently. I wanted to kiss her full on the mouth, but I waited for her to initiate all acts of intimacy these days.
She must’ve felt the same way. Her lips touched mine gingerly at first, but then she expertly parted my mouth. I tasted her tongue and let her deepen the kiss before I wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her closer. I loved the way her breath washed over me when we kissed. My cock stirred to life in my pants and strained toward her, but I told myself no. We hadn’t gotten that far yet and I wasn’t going to push it, even if the need to be buried deep inside of her again was killing me slowly.
She pulled back, sighing, “Let’s go baby.”
I knew she wanted to just go home. She hardly ever wanted to leave the manor. Being in the public seemed to drain her, but she rarely complained. I only noticed that her grip on my hand tightened whenever we were outside of the Prescott compound. As much as I wanted to take her home though, we had a therapy appointment. Her family thought it
would help make the transition easier if she had someone to talk to, and if I was honest, it was helping me reestablish a new dynamic with her.
My biggest fear was triggering a painful memory for her. She hadn't opened up yet about what happened, at least not to me. I’d gotten bits and pieces of it, but mostly from investigators. Even with therapy, she barely opened up there. I knew it would take time, so I didn’t rush her, nor did I let anyone else push her past her limits. I just wanted her to be happy. Whatever that looked like, however she needed me. Her happiness was all I cared about.
We snuggled close together on the soft couch at the therapists’
office. Dr. Wendy Snyder, a brunette woman with gentle eyes, accentuated by thin framed glasses perched on the edge of her nose, smiled at us warmly. She held her sessions in her house, which wasn’t too far from Prescott Manor, and I think the similar atmosphere helped Alina relax for our sessions.
Dr. Snyder cleared her throat, “Hello Derrick. Alina. How are you two doing today?”
I slid my arm over her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple, “I’m great.”
Alina smiled, “Me too.” She wriggled her feet, crossing them at the ankles, “I finally got my cast off.”
The older woman smiled, “I can see that. How long has it been?”
“Two. Long. Months,” Alina replied, “I’m just glad I can walk normally again.”
Dr. Snyder’s eyes slid over to me, a smile dancing within them though her lips weren’t upturned, “And I bet you’re glad as well, Derrick?”
I tensed under her gaze. Something about the way she looked at me made me feel uncomfortable, but I came and participated for Alina.
“I am.”
Her eyes lingered on me for a moment before she turned her attention back to Alina, “So tell me Alina. How have things been going for you?”
Alina plastered a giant grin on her face, “Great! Other than the cast coming off, nothing new has been happening. My dad’s race for mayor is going well. My brother’s businesses are doing great. My mom and I are closer.” She lifted her chin to look at me, “and then there’s this guy. My anchor.”
My heart warmed hearing her speak of her affection for me. This was the love I’d wanted my entire life. Since she came back, she never let too much time pass between telling me that she loved me. And I certainly never let her get too far without rem
inding her that I loved her too.
I kissed the side of her head and pulled her in closer. Though any closer and she’d be sitting on my lap. “I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too.”
Dr. Snyder exhaled, making a contemplative sound as she scrolled through her notes on her iPad.
“Are you two still inseparable?”
She meant it as a funny statement, but I heard something else in it. Almost as if she didn’t approve of how much we’d been together the last couple of months. I darted my eyes to her hands, more specifically the left one, to see if she was wearing a ring but it was empty. She obviously didn’t understand how terrifying it was to almost lose the person you loved most in the world.
Alina, completely unaware of the undertones in her statement, laughed and nodded, “Yep! I practically fit in his pocket.”
“Does that make you both happy?”
I stared at the doctor, a serious expression on my face,
“Absolutely.”
She nodded in response. Again, something about her was rubbing me the wrong way but I couldn’t quite pin it down. Since almost losing Alina, I developed a pretty unhealthy mistrust of nearly everyone.
At least that’s how Rod put it to me. Still, I was determined not to let my feelings get in the way of Alina’s progress.
“Alina, are you ready to talk about what happened?” she asked, focusing all of the attention on her.
I watched as Alina’s eyes glassed over. The smallest hint of tears forming in the corner of her almond shaped eyes. She swallowed, shaking her head side to side. Instinctively, I moved into protector mode. Turning her to face me, I lowered mine so I was eye level with her,
“You don’t have to, baby. Take all the time you need.”
“He’s right,” Dr. Snyder interjected, “Take as much time as you need. There’s no rush.”
Alina lowered her head, “Okay.”
The three of us sat in silence for another few minutes before Dr.
Snyder suggested we end the session early. I was more than happy to oblige. I practically carried Alina out of there and got her back home, hoping to fix her sudden mood regression. That was what I hated about therapy. She’d been through enough on her own. I didn’t want her to have to re-live it.
The house was quiet when we arrived. It was still early in the day, so we had some time to ourselves before everyone would gather around for dinner. Vivian had been right when she claimed me as one of them. Since Alina and I were inseparable, I practically lived there and
they welcomed me with open arms. Alina and I had settled into another one of the wings of the house, where no one else took up residence. It was still her home, but afforded us privacy, which seemed to be what she needed since coming back.
“What should we do now?” I asked, following her into our bedroom.
It was slightly more formal than her former bedroom. The tufted queen bed frame was flanked by dark gray nightstands. Tall and skinny mirrors framed a set of black and white framed prints above the bed.
What I loved most was the amount of light that streamed in courtesy of the balcony right off the room. Many nights we stood on the balcony, cocooned in each others arms looking into the night sky.
She crawled onto the foot of the bed, stretching her short frame across it, “Can we sleep? I’m tired.”
The corners of my mouth upturned as I strolled toward the bed,
“Of course baby. Whatever you want.”
She perked up, “Whatever I want?”
I tensed, seeing the distinct twinkle of lust in her eyes.
Something I hadn’t seen in so long I had to double take to make sure I wasn’t making it up. Nope—it was there. Clouding her irises and dilating her pupils. Making her skin flush around her neck. Her tongue slid across her lip before she pulled it between her teeth.
She rose up on her knees, pulling me by my belt loops. Her lips crashed onto mine forcefully. She nudged my mouth open and slid her tongue across the space between our lips in search of mine. I matched her frenzy, even if I was confused by the sudden intensity of it. Her hands were pulling on me, unbuttoning my shirt and yanking on my belt buckle.
I gently grabbed her face and pulled away, “Baby, wait.”
“No,” she moaned, “I’m tired of waiting. I need you Derrick.”
I thought about how she used to say those words and it would send me over the edge. Now I felt conflicted. I wanted this more than anything, but I didn’t think she was ready.
“It’s too soon,” I countered, pulling back and adjusting my clothes.
Her eyes narrowed, “Who says it’s too soon? You’re always saying whenever I’m ready, whatever I want. I know what I want, Derrick, and it’s you.” She pulled on me again, more forcibly this time.
I was still tense as she started to undress me. She was right. I was adamant about doing things in her time, but this felt like it was coming out of nowhere.
Her lips caressed my naked chest as she pushed my shirt over my shoulders and started working on my belt buckle. Her tongue swirled around my nipples and my breath hitched from how good it felt. I hadn’t so much as touched myself in the span of not having her. My body was more than ready for her. My cock held nothing back as it bounced free when she pushed my pants down my hips.
She licked her lips, seeing it up close and personal, and the next thing I knew, fireworks exploded behind my eyes as she sucked the bulging head of it into her hot and waiting mouth. I groaned a curse, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I missed this. She owned me this way and she knew it.
Sitting back on her knees, her hand pumped and twisted slowly as she sucked me in and out of her mouth. My hands fisted at my sides, needing something to grab onto, but not wanting to grab her. She made greedy sucking sounds and moans, taking me into her as deep as she could go, then pumping her fist around me, using her saliva as lubricant. The faster she worked her mouth on my cock, the more my knees threatened to give out.
“Fuck baby,” I groaned, “you’re going to make me…”
“Mmhmm,” she hummed around my length.
And in the next breath, I was shuddering. Months of pent up frustrations let go and I was spilling into her mouth. When I peeled my eyes open and looked down at her, she was smiling coyly. I nearly came undone watching her throat bob as she swallowed every last drop of what erupted out of me.
“Shit.”
She rose up to clasp her hands around my neck, licking my shoulder, “Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” she whispered,
“make love to me.”
Gladly.
EPILOGUE
The moon had hit that perfect point in the sky where the light from it trickled down and flooded the balcony, shining a beam of light into the bedroom. I peeled myself out from under Derrick’s arms, feeling the same drop in my stomach I felt every time he wasn’t touching me. I was a woman obsessed. I was also terrified of being separated from him again.
When he held me, I didn’t have nightmares. When his hands were on me, the panic attacks ceased. With Derrick, I was able to forget what happened. I ached with guilt not telling him any parts of the ordeal.
I knew it was killing him. But I loved the way he looked at me now, like I was the key to his entire world. I wanted to take a picture and keep it with me so I’d never forget. If I told him what Jason had done to me, what I had done during the course of being held prisoner, that look would go away. I couldn’t risk that.
I stepped onto the balcony, bathing in the moonlight. It was warm and there was a gentle breeze moving the clouds around. We moved to a new wing of the house and it was quieter here. The pool and pool house were right underneath us and I’d been aching to get back into it. Now that my ankle was fully healed, it seemed like a good idea.
There was no point getting changed. No one ever swam in the pool anymore. I tiptoed down the stairs and padded across the grass to the stone slabs surrounding the sapphire tinted wate
r. I let my nightgown fall off my shoulders and stepped gently down the stairs, wading out to waist level.
Spreading my arms out, I tilted my chin up gazing at the stars as I fell back into the warm water. It was the perfect temperature. I floated on my back, loving the weightless feeling it offered me. God how I needed to feel weightless. I didn’t allow myself to feel that way since
coming home. There was too much blood on my hands, too many unanswered questions, too much left unsaid for me to spread that around for others to carry. No, I would shoulder the weight of everything.
It had to be this way.
I sunk down into the water and swam a few laps, but preferred the lazy float the most. It helped soothe my aching soul. My eyes burned from opening them underneath the water, so I stood in the shallow end rubbing them, when I heard footsteps on the stone.
Glancing over my naked shoulder, I saw black boots standing at the edge of the pool near the deeper end. A smile tugged on my lips, assuming it was Derrick, but then I realized the body was different. I began trembling and my smiled faded, recognizing the all black outfit complete with black gloves.
Losing Her (Lost and Found Book 1) Page 35