The wardrobe door creaks open. I’m too afraid to look. It’s a trick. I’m not gonna fall for that again. But then I hear the sound of her footsteps and I have to look.
She standing there in the dress, my dress, all puffy and pink with green and purple diamonds and it looks even better in real life than in pretend.
I want to hug her, but then I remember that she left me for ages and I should be cross, really cross, so I make a cross face and put my hands on my waist like I seen mummy do.
“Oh, Heather! I’ve missed you so much,” she says.
There are big shiny tears in her eyes and I can’t be cross anymore because I don’t care why she went away. I’m just glad that she’s back.
I rush over and give her the hug I’ve been dying to give her since she got here. She smells like strawberries and melon.
“Why’d you go away?”
“I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I never said that!”
She picks up my wrist. “You didn’t know?”
“Know what?” I am so confused but I’m so happy too so I don’t really care, and when she smiles at me I really don’t care ‘cos she is sooo beautiful.
“It’s almost time to be a real princess, Heather.”
I can’t breathe. I feel like I need a wee. I am so excited! “When?”
“Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night you get to be a princess. But…” She looks a little bit sad and my happy feeling starts to go away.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I’m not entirely sure you’re ready.”
I jump up and down. “I am! I am!”
“Okay, okay, but you have to prove it. Are you ready to do anything to be a princess?”
I nod so hard I think my head might fall off and the thought makes me giggle.
After a moment Elsa joins in.
45
GEMMA
I’m lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It’s an hour till dinner. I can hear Heather talking to herself in her bedroom. Danny’s watching television and Mum and Jules are doing the whisper conversation thing in the kitchen that they do when they’re talking about me.
I can’t stand it.
I went back to college today. I went back to normal; at least I think it’s normal. I mean, I did all the usual things. I patched things up with my mates and I think they’ve forgiven. They still have the party plans going so mum said I could have the party as long as she supervised, which is okay, I suppose. Honestly, I wanted to cancel the whole thing, but the guys are so excited about it I didn’t have the heart. Plus, Eloise has really outdone herself on getting a buffet sorted. I would have been happy with a few pizzas, crisps and dip, but she’s done chicken wings and sandwiches, cupcakes and all sorts. I can’t let them down.
The party will happen tomorrow night, and for some reason I’m terrified. I can’t explain it. It’s just there, all the time, under my skin like an itch that I can’t scratch. Mum’s been great. I honestly expected her to ground me or something, but she’s been surprisingly calm about everything. I can feel her watching me, though, and the odd moments when she does take her eyes off the ball and I watch her, I am certain I see the same fear that dances under my skin flit across her face.
Jules has been off with me too, but not in an, I’m-concerned-and-watching-you way, more than in an, I’m-disappointed-in-you-you-lying-ho way. I don’t know what to say because I don’t bloody remember! The only thing I’m sure of is that Sam was there. So I’ve avoided the woods, the cottage and the beach, but I won’t have a choice tomorrow. I can’t remember if I told him about the party. I hope I didn’t. I don’t want to see him. I really, really don’t.
There is a knock at the door.
“Come in.”
Jules pops her head around the door. “You have a visitor.”
I sit up, surprised. I’m not expecting anyone. “Who is it?”
“Some boy.”
Sam. Ice fills my veins. I swallow. “Don’t suppose you got a name?”
“Justin.” She hovers. “Are you two…?”
I roll my eyes, revelling it the normalness of the moment. “No, he’s just a friend.” I don’t tell her that I barely know him, or that I have no idea why he’s here at my house. Instead, I slip off the bed and follow Jules down the stairs.
Justin is loitering in the hallway. I can see mum hovering in the living room, trying to act as if she’s not keeping an eye on him.
Jules hits the hallway first. “Nice to meet you, Justin,” she says and retreats to the living room. I note how she doesn’t close the door fully, a sure sign that they will be listening.
“Hi. You want a drink?” I ask. Before he can answer I lead him into the kitchen down the hall and shut the door behind us. “What are you doing here?”
He reaches into his pocket and hands me some rolled up notes. I unfurl them and count. “I forgot about this.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll have some juice if you have it.”
I grab a glass and pour him some orange juice.
“You okay, Gemma?”
My first inclination is to say, ‘yes, of course I’m fine’, but the words stick like glue in my throat. I hold out his glass and he takes it, but doesn’t drink.
“I used to live in Learmonth. We moved out three years ago after…after I went missing.”
My scalp prickles. “You went missing?”
He leans his hip against the counter. “Yeah, they found me in the woods under a big arse tree the next afternoon. I was out of it. Mum said I was babbling, scared…I don’t know. I don’t remember much. But I do remember being scared. I still don’t know what happened and it bugs me to this day. One thing I do know is that whatever it was, it was real and freaky and something to do with the Learmonth myths and superstitions.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
He sips his juice and shrugs. “I saw your face when you came back to school today, and you’ve been off since Tuesday.”
“So?”
“Tuesday night was a full moon, Gemma, same as when I went missing. The villagers say that they revel on a full moon, every full moon, and once they’ve invited you your feet find their way. When they found me I was dirty and tired and scratched and bruised, but the thing that stood out the most was my hair…it had turned white overnight. My parents moved us before the next full moon, so I never got to find out if what they said was true, but I suffered from the worst nightmares for ages. And then, just like that, they stopped. Now I think people have forgotten I ever had dark hair.”
“My mum sometimes finds the old photo albums. When she sees me in them with my dark brown hair, I can see the surprise, the confusion and then it’s gone. She tried to dye it loads of times at first, but the dye never took, no matter what brand she tried. In the end, she just stopped trying and people forgot.”
“But you didn’t…”
“And neither will you. There will be another full moon, Gemma. I just… I wanted to warn you.”
I’m not sure what I can do with this warning. I’m not sure what I can do to banish the shiver that travels up and down my spine. But for the first time since it happened, I don’t feel so alone.
“Thank you, Justin. Really, thanks.”
His neck flushes deep red and he ducks his head. “No problem. Um… I was wondering if you wanted a lift into school on Monday?”
I blink at him stupidly. “A lift?”
“Yeah, my dad bought me a car. It’s a banger, but it works. I can swing by on the way and pick you up.” He blushes again.
It’s no way near his route and we both know it, but I am so touched by the gesture that I nod dumbly.
I remember the party tomorrow. “You free tomorrow night?” I ask.
“The party?”
“You heard?”
He looks sombre, older. “I don’t suppose you’d be able to call it off at short notice, would you?”
<
br /> I shake my head then pause to take in the warning in his face. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. I’ll be there.”
I walk him to the door and he turns to me before he leaves and says, “They may seem nutty, the villagers, but I did my research…after, you know, and we’re not the only ones. It’s been going on for decades, maybe longer. Just be careful.” He points up at the door, at the horseshoe mum hung a few days ago. “I see you get the idea.”
46
NIGHT MARY
I’m not playing the game today. I have limited time and I intend to make good use of it. We had a deal, a bargain, and, yes, I got something precious in return, and so did they. Now they’re playing with me because they know that by daylight I am defenceless, in the night a ghost. I should have anticipated that this day would come, but I was focused on only one goal. I was a mother and it made me weak, desperate. I allowed them to take advantage and now I have to find a way to wake up. If I don’t then my family, the very thing I fought for, is doomed, and I will see them again, but on the darker side of the moon.
The woods are dark, the waning moon hiding behind a cloud, yet I see just fine, my vision heightened by the power in my blood.
I am searching for the trickster, the riddler, the boon-giver. He hides in plain sight in the corner of your eye. It’s hard trying to catch a glimpse. I concentrate and remain real still. I know he will be here, I’ve sensed him on several occasions. It was to him I should have gone in the first place. I was a fool to bargain with The Mother. Ever since my snub he’s waited, biding his time, knowing this moment would come, the moment when I would bow to him, plead with him, beg him for his aid.
I catch movement in the corner of my eye, but don’t flinch, don’t give myself away. I wait for him to get complacent, confident wrapped in shadow.
I pounce and spin, stare him full in the eyes.
He shrieks and laughs and cackles like we have just completed an especially exciting game of hide and seek; which, in a way, I guess we have.
I wait patiently for him to calm himself, never taking my eyes off his sinewy form, like smoke and shadow and silk. His smile rears up wide and toothy, blue eyes gleaming in white, white sclera, floating in an invisible face.
I hate it when he does this, it makes it that much harder to keep him pinned. I guess that’s his point.
“I wish to bargain, Trickster.”
He twists and turns in mid-air, whizzing around me, wrapping me in his shadowy tail until I am dizzy.
“Stop it! You want to bargain, I know it, and you know it, so let’s do this.”
“Oh, dear Mary. Mary, you are quite contrary…”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Listen, I don’t have much time-”
“No you don’t. It isn’t because the moon will soon sleep and the sun will wake.”
A chill races up my spine. “What do you mean?”
“A question deserves a boon.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out a chocolate bar. His eyes go round like dinner plates. Being me has its perks, like being able to imagine up anything I want, Trickster and his kind don’t have that luxury.
His mouth opens and I chuck the bar in, wrapper and all.
He licks his lips and grins at me. “Your mind is fractured, your heart in two, no creature can exist like this, like you. On the final moon of the seventeenth year, the shadow heart will disappear.”
If that means what I think it means… I press my lips together to hold back more questions.
“Ready to bargain?”
He inclines his head.
“I need the bridge. Show me where it is and I will give you a whole box of chocolates.”
He’s contemplating it, I can see it. Trickster is greedy, gluttonous and needy, and he will take the bargain…I hope.
“Forbidden request.”
“When have you ever given a damn about that?”
The woods echo with his laughter. “True, but alas I cannot aid you. Your answer lies within, only you know where your bridge is.”
But I don’t, I really don’t. And if I don’t figure it out soon, when the next full moon hits, I’m gone.
47
GEMMA
The sun is streaming across my bed. The duvet is warm, the bed toasty, yet my body feels cold, my mind empty.
It’s my birthday today and I know something terrible is going to happen. I feel it in my gut, which twists and kicks, and all I want to do is curl up and go back to sleep; a dreamless, safe sleep that shuts out the world.
I know why Justin was worried about tonight, I remember what Patrick, or Stephen or one of the gang, said about Halloween… Samhain, or something, and the veil being thin and stuff… I know, I just know, that something is coming. Something terrible.
I hear my door creak open and lay real still and fake sleep. I even throw in a little snore, but the minions will not be swayed and they attack me, jumping onto the bed with tiny fists and feet, pulling back the covers and covering me with wet sloppy kisses.
The darkness retreats and a spark of joy, of hope, ignites and I am hugging them and kissing them and tickling them and the morning is no longer filled with doom. It’s filled with the scent of pancakes and freshly ground coffee. It’s filled with the knowledge that it’s my birthday and my fears are suddenly the lingering remnants of a nightmare not to be taken seriously.
I pad into the kitchen, a twin dangling off each arm and am greeted with a cheer of ‘Happy Birthday’. Mum has set my place especially nice with the fancy plates and cups and a small birthday muffin. There’s a pile of fresh pancakes and syrup as well as chocolate spread and sugar and lemon. But what makes my eyes sparkle is the small pile of presents all wrapped in colourful paper sitting by my plate.
I plop the twins in their seats and park my butt in mine, tearing into the presents. Danny has made me a scrap book of drawings and Heather has made me a clay-baked sculpture of a princess, painted pink with green and purple blobs. Jules has got me a leather-bound diary and a book voucher, and mum has gone to town with a whole new box of charms, threads, hooks and stuff for my jewellery making.
As I dig into my mountain of pancakes, I finally feel the real bubble of excitement.
It’s my birthday!
“Seriously? Your mum’s gonna be there?” Jen looks crestfallen.
I shrug. “That’s the deal.”
She sighs. “You okay?”
I plaster a smile on my face. “Yeah, course I am. It’s my birthday and we’re gonna have a kick arse party.”
“Ahuh, but you’ve been weird ever since you got back from being ‘ill’”
I don’t like the bunny ears she makes with her finger when saying ill. She suspects something, but I’m not ready to go there just yet, maybe never. I just want to forget and be normal. I love normal. I ignore her bunny ears and finish applying my makeup. I don’t usually wear any, it makes me feel heavy, but tonight is my night, and I want to look hot. Some of the guys are dressing up as zombies and monsters, it is Halloween after all. Not me. I want to look…sexy.
Jen is watching me as I try to hold the pocket mirror and do my eyeliner.
“There are about a hundred mirrors in this place,” she says. “Why are you using that thing?”
I shrug again. “They’re all fixed to…something or other, walls, wardrobes, more walls.”
“Really? Fixed like screwed on?”
“More like bolted.”
“Here, let me.” She takes the small mirror from me and holds it steady so I can draw the thick black line on my lids that make my eye look elongated and huge, like a feline.
When I am done I sit back and pout. “What do you think?”
Jen looks flushed, she smiles. “You look beautiful,” she says softly.
Mum knocks on the door. “You ready? Jules has taken the twins to Elder to trick or treat. Did you know about the Halloween ban in the village?”
Jen nods. “Yep, just another perk
of living in Learmonth.”
“Well, come on then, let’s get going. You don’t want your guests to get to the cottage before you do.” She pauses as if another thought has occurred to her. “They do know where it is, don’t they?”
Jen grins impishly. “Don’t worry, Mrs Learmonth. I set up markers earlier, glow in the dark arrows that point the way.”
I blink at her in surprise. “You didn’t tell me you were going to do that.”
It’s her turn to shrug.
Mum sighs in exasperation. “Well, come on. It’s all very well to be fashionably late, but not when your guests can’t get into the party without you.”
Jen is the first to stand and she offers me her hand with a mock bow. “Come, my princess. Your party awaits.”
I want to roll my eyes at her, but I can’t help but giggle.
Excitement mingled with terror stirs in my chest as we set out on our way.
We make our way through the woods, lit by tiny solar lamps that Jen must have planted during the day. Mum has a huge torch, but the moon is bright and we don’t stumble, we don’t stray. We make it to the cottage and the group of kids waiting outside, eager to be let in.
48
DAY MARY
Oh dear! Surrounded by these young, jumping bodies I feel completely ancient. The music is too loud and some kind of thumping beat that makes no sense, tells no story. I’ve already broken up four little trysts and confiscated some alcohol, but I’m not naïve; I know they have more hidden away. If I find it I’ll take it, otherwise what can I do but shut it all down and spoil my baby’s night?
I catch her dancing with Jen. Her face is upturned, eyes closed and the biggest grin is on her lips. She’s happy, she’s so happy. It makes my chest hurt with pride because she is mine. I made her and she is beautiful. I want to rush over and enfold her in a hug, but I know better than to embarrass her like that in front of all her friends.
Hawthorn Page 12