Make Me Whole

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Make Me Whole Page 14

by Kaithlin Shepherd


  “We can do that again in about five minutes.” And they did, over and over again until neither one of them could move.

  He had never felt more content than he did curled up next to Jamie on his living room floor in front of the fire. “We’re going to have to head back to the house soon.”

  He didn’t want to leave but knew they couldn’t stay there, not that night. With Becca and Emilia arriving in the morning, there was a lot to be done at the house. “I know.”

  “I wish we could just stay here forever,” he whispered, kissing her hair. “When I started building this place, I pictured myself with a wife and kids, living here, even if I had no idea if that would ever happen. The first night I brought you here, the way you were looking at my home, I knew the person I had built this house for was you.”

  “Cole.” He wasn’t sure if the emotion he was hearing in her voice was good or bad, and he didn’t want to know, not right then. She might not know where their relationship was going, but he wasn’t going to let another second go by with her thinking he wanted anything less than forever.

  “You don’t have to say anything, you can just listen. When we were at Craig’s house, I felt like an ass for not asking you what came next, what you wanted to do, because I forgot this was temporary for you. Hell, it was supposed to be temporary for me, too, but I’m in love with you, Jamie. I won’t force you to stay, but I will beg you to consider living here, in Montana, and making a life here with me because I cannot imagine my life without you.” He didn’t want her to give him an answer, but there was no way he was letting her think he didn’t need her in his life. The choice was hers but he needed to put all his cards on the table because letting her walk away would be his greatest regret.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens when my therapy is done and what happens to us. I didn’t expect any of this to happen when Becca suggested I come here, but now, looking back, I’m really happy she talked me into coming. But Cole, I don’t know what happens after. I don’t know if I go back to Austin and get back to my old life. I don’t know if I go back to work, but most of all, I don’t know if I can go through the motions without you and that scares me. You need to give me time.”

  “I can do that, baby.” He kissed Jamie softly on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, holding her, hoping she knew he would be there for her no matter what happened next.

  Cole got up, hating the fact that they couldn’t stay there all day, but he knew his mom would have a lot to say if they didn’t show up soon. “We should get dressed. We need to head back to the main house. Mom asked me to help her out with some stuff.”

  “All right. I can shower back at the ranch, and then I’ll roll up my sleeves and help your mom feed you bunch of hulks.” He watched Jamie as she got dressed and fixed her hair, and he couldn’t tear his eyes off her. He couldn’t help it. She was so gorgeous and perfect that just the thought of her not staying with him hurt more than any injury he’d sustained back in Afghanistan. Cole had finally let himself need someone and he didn’t think he could really live without her in his life.

  An hour later, Cole stood in the kitchen with his mom, listening to the shower run, thinking about their conversation. He wanted Jamie to stay with him more than he had ever wanted anything in his life, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he was being selfish by asking her to give up her life in Austin to move there with him.

  He felt his mom’s hand on his forearm and when he looked up, she was looking right into his soul. “What’s on your mind, honey?”

  Cole took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts before answering. “Just thinking about Jamie and how she’s changed my life for the better. I asked her to consider staying here in Montana with me, but now I think maybe I was being selfish for asking her to give up everything for me.”

  “Oh, baby, I’m so happy for both of you. She is such a wonderful person. The heart on that girl is big enough to fill ten lifetimes. She’s going to make a great wife and an amazing mother one day.”

  “Yeah, she will, Mom.” How his mom could read him so well never ceased to amaze him. He’d been thinking about making Jamie his wife, and God help him, he wanted to see their child grow inside of her. He wanted to see the life they could build together.

  “Don’t let her walk away, Cole. I can see how much you love her. Hold on to that. Your dad would have loved her. She has sass, but she has the kindest soul. And, honey, it’s not selfish you asking her to stay, because the girl has been thinking about it since the day she pulled up in that driveway.”

  “Just like you, Mom.” He kissed his mom before grabbing a beer to join his brothers in the living room. Walking in and seeing them sitting around, drinking and laughing, made him smile at the memories of them being gathered together and listening to their dad tell stories, which always got their attention. Cole missed him so much and God, he wished his dad was still around to meet Jamie.

  “Are you going to lock that down sooner rather than later, or are you going to let her walk away? Because I sure as hell would be more than happy to pick up the pieces.” Nick laughed as he teased him, but Cole didn’t think his comment was funny.

  Cole’s jaw set tightly, holding back curse words as Nick tried to rattle him. “Shut up, Nick. She’s off-fucking-limits and you know it.”

  The room fell silent and Cole felt his brothers’ eyes on him, trying to gauge his reaction. Nick broke the silence and eased the tension. “Man, I’ve never seen you so worked up over a woman before. You’ve got it so bad you can’t even see a joke. Even a blind man can see she’s only got eyes for you.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s not the only one. I love her and I asked her to stay here with me.” He remembered times when his dad used to sit in the chair Nick was in and tell the story of how he met their mom and thinking how crazy their tale was. They had fallen in love hard and fast and, until he’d met Jamie, Cole didn’t think a love like that was possible.

  “You did what?” John asked him, sounding surprised by his revelation. Cole couldn’t blame his brother.

  Drew choked on his beer. “Shit, man, you serious?”

  “As serious as I’ll ever be. I love her and I don’t want her to leave. She’s everything I never thought I would get a chance to hold in my hands. She’s everything Dad always talked about. That one woman you just can’t breathe without.” Cole couldn’t wipe the smile off his face at the image of his dad telling him, ‘I told you, son.’

  “Well, damn then. I’m happy for you, man. You deserve it and, hell, so does she. After what the girl has been through, she deserves a man like you, Cole. We don’t say it enough, but Dad would be damn proud of the man you’ve become.” John’s emotions were tangible as he patted his brother on the back.

  It was past midnight when Cole made it up to his room, hoping Jamie had decided to sleep in his bed that night. When he opened the door and saw his woman sleeping there, he felt an unexplainable need to possess her, to make her his. He took off his shirt and let it fall to the floor, then did the same thing with his jeans. He stood over the bed for a while, just looking at the amazing woman in his bed, sleeping in one of his shirts and nothing else. Her hair spilled around his pillowcase and she was tugging another pillow near her face, almost like she was inhaling his scent. Damn if that didn’t wake something primal in him. He climbed into bed, lying down beside her, and she opened her eyes the minute his hand pulled her close to him.

  “I thought we could have our own pre-Christmas celebration before the house got too crowded, so I fell asleep in your bed.”

  Cole put his hand at the base of her neck and pushed Jamie back down on the bed, running his fingers down over her breasts and ribcage, coming back to tease her nipples. He looked up and locked eyes with her. “Pre-Christmas celebration, huh?” His lips followed the same path as his fingers and when he bit her nipple, she moaned his name.

  “Yeah, I think I like this idea.” He climbed up her body, resting his elbows beside her h
ead, his erection nudging against her when he rocked into her.

  Teasing her jaw with his lips and tongue, he heard her soft plea. “Please, Cole.” He lost the small thread of control he still had on his need to take her and make her scream his name. His mouth came crashing down on hers and when she moaned, he slipped his tongue past her barriers, kissing her with an urgency he didn’t know he possessed.

  She tilted her hips up, trying to get the friction he knew she desperately needed to get off, but he remained in control, kissing his way up and down her body. When his lips found her neck, she dug her fingers in his hair and lowered her mouth down to his ear. “Cole, please, I need to feel you inside me.”

  “You undo me, Jamie. I want to give you everything.” She pushed his underwear down his legs and wrapped her hands around his hard erection, making him bury his face in her neck. As she stroked him up and down, he knew he’d never felt anything better than her touch.

  He kissed her, nibbling at her lower lip, slipping a finger down her stomach to her mound. “You’re so wet for me.” He rubbed her clit with just the right amount of pressure to build her up and keep her there.

  “Give this to me, Cole. Make love to me.” He positioned himself over her, holding himself there, and locked eyes with her as he entered her. When she closed her eyes, he knew she was feeling the same emotions he was. Making love to her in that position was like bearing everything he was right into her.

  “Open your eyes, Jamie. Look at me. Don’t hide this from me. Let me have all of you.” He knew how intense this was for her because he was right there with her. Making love to her like that, seeing her eyes without barriers, seeing her emotions and knowing she could see the exact same thing when she looked at him, almost pushed him over the edge.

  She was panting, and he could feel how close she was but he was still moving excruciatingly slow, cherishing this moment. “That’s it, baby. Feel everything for me.”

  “Cole… I….” He could feel her orgasm coming. It was building fast. He picked up speed, moving in and out, knowing exactly what would get her off the hardest and fastest. She wrapped her legs around him, pushing him deeper and he knew he would lose it with her.

  “Cole, I’m going to come. Oh, God….”

  He was going to fly with her. He lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth. “Come for me. Let me feel you come undone.” Her muscles contracted around him when she orgasmed and he fought to hold off his own release.

  The intensity of looking into her eyes when she let go and allowed her orgasm to consume her was nothing like he’d ever experienced before. “Oh, God, Cole, don’t stop…. Oh, God.”

  “Jamie….” He followed her right over the edge and into oblivion, and crashed down on top of her as her hands rubbed his back.

  Not wanting to crush her with his weight, he started to lift off, but she held him down. “Don’t move. Just stay like this for a while. I need to feel you a bit longer.” Her voice was raw, like she had been ripped open by what they’d just shared. He pressed kisses on her neck and shoulders and they fell asleep like that, hanging on to each other.

  Chapter Ten

  Jamie woke up early, knowing her friends wanted to have some girl time, but when she felt Cole’s body pressed against her, the last thing she wanted to do was get out of bed. She wanted to stay as close to him as she possibly could, but she forced herself out of his warm embrace, grabbed her robe and headed downstairs. When she stepped into the kitchen, Becca, Emilia and Kathy were already prepping breakfast.

  She smiled when she heard Cole call her name from his bedroom, and she knew he wouldn’t take long to make his way downstairs. A few minutes later, he wrapped his hands around her chest, tilted her head to the side. “I missed you this morning.” He kissed her. “Don’t let me interrupt girl talk. I’ll go see what my brothers are up to. Hey, Em, does Nick know you’re here?”

  Jamie saw her friend’s cheeks turn red and judging by how she choked on her coffee, she guessed her answer. “No, he doesn’t.”

  “Oh, man, this is going to be the best Christmas ever.” He walked out of the kitchen laughing and three sets of eyes landed on Emilia, who was as red as a lobster.

  “So, what exactly went down between you and Nick? But I swear, if it’s about sex, skip the details. My mom and I do not need to hear about that.” Jamie laughed as Kathy nodded in support, but Emilia was blushing so much, Jamie thought she might pass out from embarrassment. In all the years she’d known Emilia, she had never seen her affected by a man, but the Callaway men did have a way of leaving their mark on a woman.

  “Oh, well, hmmm, nothing happened between me and Nick. We just, hmmm, well, you see….”

  Jamie snickered, watching her best friend try to find the right words and blush like a schoolgirl. “Em, spit it out for crying out loud.” They were all on the edge of their seats, waiting to hear the rest of this story.

  “We kind of hooked up when I was here working with Cole, and I might have left without saying goodbye.” Emilia covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her embarrassment, but what Jamie couldn’t figure out was why Emilia would run like that. It wasn’t like her at all. She always said building connections was important, so listening to her talk about running from one didn’t make any sense.

  “You didn’t!” Becca laughed and Kathy’s gasp filled the room.

  “Oh, yes, she did.” All the women turned to see Nick standing in the kitchen with a look that was somewhere between lust and anger. “Emilia.” The way he said her name left no room for misinterpretation. He was angry and the one thing Jamie knew about Nick was it took a lot to make him angry.

  “Nick, how are you?” Emilia was clearly shaken by seeing Nick and Jamie couldn’t help but smile, because there was definitely something in the Montana water.

  “I’m fine. I didn’t think I’d ever see you at my kitchen table again.” Nick’s voice was harsh and bitter, and Jamie knew Emilia was close to losing it.

  “Nick, be nice. Emilia is a guest in this house. Remember your manners.” Kathy’s stern tone left no room for misunderstanding. She wouldn’t tolerate rudeness in her house.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Nick looked at Emilia and gave her a smile, which made Jamie weak in the knees, and she wasn’t the least bit attracted to the man. Emilia looked like she had been reduced to a puddle. Nick laughed as he stepped outside.

  “I’m going to go talk to him. If I’m not back before sunset, call a search party.”

  Jamie was still reeling from the interaction between Nick and Emilia when Cole grabbed her by the hand and backed her up against the hallway wall. “I hate waking up without you,” he told her as he buried his face in her neck. She loved the feel of his five o’clock shadow on her skin.

  “I promised the girls we’d have some girl talk. Oh, did you know anything about your brother and Emilia, and forgot to tell me?” When he licked and bit the skin around her neck, she moaned his name, tugging at his clothes, desperate to get him closer.

  His hand slipped beneath her T-shirt and, God, she loved how his hands felt on her. They were insatiable. “I really don’t want to talk about my brother right now, babe.”

  When he covered her breast with his hand, she hooked her legs around his waist, loving the way his erection pressed against her. “What do you want to do?” she managed to ask him.

  “Well, I don’t know what he wants to do, but I do know it probably doesn’t involve us watching.” Jamie and Cole stopped dead at the sound of John’s voice and when Cole released her, she heard him swear under his breath.

  She kissed him. “We’ll finish later, I promise. I should go check up on Em anyway.”

  Emilia stood alone in the barn when Jamie walked in twenty minutes later, and judging by the look on her best friend’s face, she realized they were going to have one of those talks. Emilia sat down on an old bench with her face in her hands and Jamie sat down beside her, running her hand over her back. “You okay?”

 
; “To be honest, not really.” Emilia took a deep breath and tried to reel her emotions in.

  “Want to talk about it? You know, you’ve listened to my own pity party for months, but I have been such a lousy friend to you and to Becca, not seeing that both of you were going through your own things. Please, just talk to me.” Jamie’s eyebrows drew together in concern for her friend. Emilia looked defeated and broken. Jamie couldn’t help but ask herself what else she was missing.

  “Jamie…. God, I knew I was going to have to face him one day, but I don’t think I was ready for it to actually happen.”

  “What took place between the two of you? I’ve never seen you this upset about anything or anyone.”

  “I don’t even know where to start. When I came here to help Cole, it was such an emotional time for everyone. Kathy was hanging on by a thread and Nick didn’t know how to handle Cole, none of them did. We spent a lot of time together and, God, I fell hard and fast for him. That scared the daylights out of me, Jamie. I didn’t know how to handle something like that, and then we had sex and it was so intense and I got scared. When Cole’s therapy was done, I left in the middle of the night because I couldn’t face Nick.”

  “Did you love him?” Jamie asked, even though she already knew the answer. It was written all over Emilia’s face.

  “I think that’s part of what scared me. I did love him, and that wasn’t like me. I mean, who falls in love with someone that fast?”

  Jamie laughed because she’d felt the exact same way at the beginning with Cole. People always doubt love at first sight, or love so early in a relationship. Once upon a time, she had been one of those people. Not anymore. “I did. With Cole, I mean. I fell in love with him the day I got here and I saw him standing on the porch. It scared me so much and I didn’t know how to handle it. But Kathy told me the story of how she met their dad and I talked to Cole, really talked to him.”

 

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