Comfortable Distance

by Kenna White

  “I take it you didn’t approve of Brad.”

  “I approved of him moving out.”

  “Judge not lest ye be judged,” Jamie said, giving her a sideways glance as if referring to the fact she moved out on Shannon.

  “He was just using Steve,” Dana said.

  “Oh. Parasitic relationship.”

  “Exactly. In the five years they were together Brad worked maybe two weeks.”

  “In many relationships throughout the animal kingdom, not just humans,one member or the other remains in a domestic role.” “Well, that wasn’t Brad. Steve did the cooking and cleaning. And he’s a full-time lawyer. Brad was the eater and soiler.”

  “Steve sounds like a dedicated father.”

  “He is and Juliana is a sweetheart,” Dana said, nodding back toward Juliana. “She’ll grow up with no prejudice or bias. Steve wouldn’t allow it.”

  “How about grandparents? I bet your folks spoil her rotten,” Jamie said, looking through the hatch at the sleeping child.

  “I’m sure they would have done that. They would have loved Juliana.” Dana smiled reflectively. “My mother died when I was six. Heart attack. Dad died when I was seventeen. Lung cancer.”

  “Oh, Dana. I’m so sorry,” Jamie said with a concerned frown. “I didn’t know.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “So it’s just you and Steve?”

  “Yes. He took on the role as parent.” She laughed. “He said he would be the mother. I told him it was more like smother. We didn’t get along real well those first few years after Dad passed away. We both had to mature a little. Now we’re best friends, at least most of the time.”

  “How about you? All A’s in school?” Jamie made a few adjustments to the sails but the wind had died to just a few knots and they were left to slow progress.

  “Mostly but I had trouble with a few things.”

  “Such as?”

  Dana grimaced, almost afraid to answer.

  “Come on. Let’s have it. What did you flunk?”

  “I didn’t flunk but I got a C in biology.”

  Jamie laughed out loud and came to sit on the hatch door.

  “My saving grace was that I could draw pretty fair pictures for my lab notebook. Miss Reece would look over my shoulder and say no shading, Miss Robbins. Stipple,” Dana said, wagging her finger.

  “Dots on the paper?”

  “Yes. Do you have your students do that? Make a zillion tiny dots instead of shading their pictures of amoeba and paramecium? Gosh, I can’t believe I remembered those names.”

  “No,” Jamie chuckled. “Sounds a little tedious to me.”

  “It was. I spent hours tapping my pencil point on the paper to show parts of frogs and flowers.”

  “A definite waste of time. It’s learning about the organism’s relationship to each other that’s important. Not how you draw them.”

  “I wish you had taught my biology class. I might have done better.” Dana’s brain spun out a clear picture of herself as a student to Jamie’s as the teacher. I also might have had a bit of a crush, she thought. She found herself blushing and was glad that Jamie quickly continued the conversation.

  “When you were taking high school biology I was probably teaching undergraduates how to culture cells in a petri dish.”

  “We did that. We’d dip a wire loop in something nasty then smear it across this brown Jell-O. Then we’d let it grow in an incubator until it had spots on it.”

  “Then?” Jamie asked as if testing her.

  “Then we’d lift off a spot and look at it under the microscope.”

  “What did you see?”

  “I have no idea. Remember, I only got a C. Besides, that was sixteen years ago.” Dana relinquished the helm to Jamie and went below to check on Juliana. She was fast asleep. When Dana returned to the deck, Jamie was sitting on the stern, steering with her knee.

  “She’s out like a light.”

  “Let her sleep.” Jamie reached over and slid the hatch door closed. “So you’re what? Thirty-three?”

  “Thirty-two.”

  “How old is Shannon?”

  “Thirty-one. And I really appreciate you not mentioning Shannon in front of Juliana, by the way.”

  “Of course.” Jamie smiled and stared out into the distance. “Dana, I think I need to apologize.”

  “You already apologized for putting your hands up my rear. I forgive you.”

  “No. I mean last week when you came by my office. My predator prey platitude was completely out of line. I had no business saying things like that. I’m sorry. I was making assumptions I had no right to make.”

  “That’s okay.”

  “No, it isn’t. Sometimes my subjective brain gets me in trouble. Ask Ruth Ann. I’m a little too analytical for my own good. I embarrassed you and I’m sorry.”

  “Jamie, that’s okay. You didn’t embarrass me. I appreciate your interest and concern. In fact, I found it…”

  “Instrusive?”

  “No. Informative. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone use science to explain relationships.”

  “But I may have been wrong.”

  “Time will tell,” Dana said, letting her eyes scan the horizon.

  “I promise to keep my opinions to myself.”

  “No!” Dana said loudly then remembered Juliana sleeping below. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to do that. I want to hear what you have to say. I do.”

  “You’re kidding, I assume.” Jamie moved the tiller one way then the other, struggling to find enough wind to fill the sails.

  “No, I’m not kidding. I want to hear your point of view. It may sound silly but I think you have given me a fresh outlook on things. What was it you said? Discussing things with an outside observer can bring things into focus. Well, you’re my outside observer.”

  “Me? Why me?”Jamie seemed tickled with that idea.“Because I’m the one who made you drop your keys into the bay?”

  “No. And I thought we agreed that was an accident.”

  “Well, it can’t be because I’m a marine biologist.”

  “Partly.”

  “You want my opinion because I have a PhD in biology?” Jamie shook her head in disbelief. “Dana, my PhD doesn’t make me some kind of super hero. I just happen to know a lot of useless trivia about plants and animals.”

  “You know much more than that. You have the most amazing common sense.”

  “That’s just life’s experiences. If you’ve been around long enough you see things.”

  “That’s another reason your opinion is important to me. You’re older.”

  “That I am.” Jamie smiled ruefully.

  “I didn’t mean it that way. Gosh, now it’s my turn to apologize. I didn’t mean you were old. Forty-five isn’t really old.”

  “Thank you.” Jamie chuckled.

  “I meant you are seasoned. Mature.” Dana realized that didn’t sound any better.

  “Older,” Jamie said, adjusting her glasses.

  “It isn’t that old. I’ll be forty-five in a few years.”

  “Did you have trouble with math class, too?”

  “Okay. I’ll be forty-five in thirteen years but it’s not old. Just older. Than me,” she quickly added to keep her foot out of her mouth. “Gosh, this is coming out all wrong. I sound like a complete idiot.”

  “You sound like you think the opinion of an old biologist has merit on topics outside her field of knowledge.”

  “Yes, I guess that’s exactly what I think. Do you mind?”

  “I don’t mind necessarily. I just think you could find a better, more informed opinion.”

  “That’s the problem.I can’t.My brother’s opinions are filtered through his legal brain, then recirculated through his parental brain. There isn’t much left by the time it gets to me. Juliana is a sweetheart but I really prefer not to get my advice from a twelveyear-old. And then there’s Ruth Ann and Connie.” Dana raised her eyebrows. “They
know Shannon. Everything I tell them will probably end with her.”

  “How does Juliana get along with Shannon?”

  “They really didn’t spend a lot of time together, just the two of them. Shannon preferred not to babysit.”

  “But no big rivalries?”

  “No. Nothing major.”

  “Then Juliana is not a factor in your current situation?”

  “If you are tactfully asking if I’m separated because Shannon is jealous of the time I spend with Juliana, no. When we were living in Lacey, I didn’t see Juliana as much. Now that I’m on the houseboat Juliana can walk over anytime she wants.”

  Jamie’s cell phone rang.

  “It looks like we’re back in range,” she said, reading the caller ID. “Dr. Hughes here.”

  The call came from who Dana assumed was a colleague running some kind of laboratory tests.After the initial pleasantries, the conversation became so technical Dana could only recognize one in ten words.

  “What pH?” Jamie said, listening intently. “Then try that. Call me if it doesn’t work, Shelia. We may have to recalibrate the machine.” She said good bye and hung up.

  “Sounds complicated,” Dana said.

  “It really wasn’t. Shelia is a graduate student and like most grad students, she’s impatient. Some things take time. If the test needs twenty-four hours she can’t expect results in eighteen.”

  “Of course not.” Dana had no idea what she was agreeing to, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

  “Certain amino acids will ionize above pH seven point four,” Jamie said nonchalantly, guiding the boat into the mouth of Boston Harbor.

  “Absolutely.” Dana bit down on her lip but couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping. She covered her mouth, hoping to hide her complete ignorance about whatever amino acids were.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” Dana cleared her throat. Then she laughed out loud. “I’m sorry, Jamie. I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn’t understand one word of your conversation after you asked about the tests.”

  Jamie opened her mouth as if to explain then chuckled.

  “Next time I’ll try not to laugh,” Dana said, touching Jamie’s knee. “That was rude.”

  “Amino acids are nothing to laugh at,” she smiled. “At least that’s what I tell my students.” Jamie stood up as they made their way toward the marina. She pushed the button to electrically lower the mainsail. The small jib gave enough propulsion to ease them into the slip. Jamie jumped onto the dock and leaned against the bow to keep it from bumping. Dana went below to wake Juliana for the ride home.

  “Thank you, Jamie,” Dana said, helping Juliana onto the dock. “We had a wonderful time.”

  “Yeah. Thanks, Jamie.” Juliana rubbed her eyes and yawned.

  “You’re welcome, kiddo.” Jamie patted her head. “You take care. And you too, Dana.” Jamie seemed caught between offering a handshake and a hug. Dana solved the dilemma for her and gave her a half hug, one arm supporting Juliana.

  “Call me if you need an old biologist’s opinion,” she called, watching Dana and Juliana walk up the gangplank toward the parking lot.

  “I will,” Dana said, waving back.

  Chapter 11

  “Dr. Hughes?” Hanna said, entering the lab.

  “Yes?” Jamie replied, squinting through the eyepiece and adjusting the specimen under the microscope.

  “There’s a call for you. Should I tell her you’ll call back later?”

  “Is this the only slide you prepared for this sample?”

  “Dr. Hughes? The call? Shall I say you’re busy?”

  “Yes,” she said, not paying much attention. “Who is on the phone, anyway?” Jamie asked without looking up from the microscope.

  “That woman on the little sailboat,” Hanna said, reaching for the doorknob.

  “Dana?” Jamie looked up curiously. “Hanna, wait! I’ll take that call.” She pulled her glasses from the top of her head and went into her office. She waited for Hanna to leave before answering the call. “Hello, Miss Robbins. How’s my second mate?”

  “Hello, Dr. Hughes. I’m sorry if I took you away from something important. I told Hanna not to bother you if you were busy.”

  “Not a problem. What’s up?”

  “Oh, gosh. I did! I interrupted you while you were doing some huge laboratory experiment and now you’ll have to run it all over again.”

  Jamie chuckled.

  “Actually, your call was perfectly timed. I’m going to have to rerun a few tests, so you kept me from getting eyestrain staring through the microscope. You rescued me. Now, what can I do for you?” Jamie sat down and propped her feet up on the corner of the desk.

  “Jamie, I simply had to call and tell you again how much fun Juliana and I had last Saturday. That’s all she talks about. And Dusty and Bo are such sweethearts. I can’t believe how nice she was to us. She didn’t know us from Adam and she took us in and fed us.”

  “She thought you were very nice too, Dana. And Dusty doesn’t say that about just anybody.”

  “Will you please thank her again for me? She made us feel right at home. It takes a special person to do that on the spur of the moment.”

  “I will.And yes,she is special.”Jamie waited for Dana to reply but she didn’t. “Is there anything else?”

  “No, no. I’m sorry, Jamie. I took you away from your laboratory long enough. You go back to work.” Dana sounded tentative.

  “Dana? How are things with Shannon? Anything new?”

  Dana hesitated. Jamie suspected something else precipitated the call.

  “She called, didn’t she?” Jamie suggested.

  “She left a message on my cell phone.”

  “What did the message say?”

  When Dana didn’t answer, Jamie suspected one of two things. Either Dana wasn’t sure how to tell her or she was too upset to talk about it.

  “Dana, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s private. I understand.”

  “No, wait. I wrote it down so I can read it to you,” Dana said. “This is exactly what she said. ‘Dana, this is Shannon. I hate talking to your voice mail. I’ve been calling you for two days. Baby, I really need to talk to you. I promise I won’t say anything to make you mad or upset. Just call me. We really need to figure this thing out. I love you, Dana’.” Dana gave a long sigh. “I can’t go on ignoring her messages and not answering her calls. I feel like a criminal hiding from the law.”

  “Do you want to talk to her?”

  “I don’t know. I feel like I owe it to both of us to at least talk to her. But something else tells me no. I need more time to think this over.”

  “That probably won’t be the last message from her, will it?”

  “No. I’m sure of that. She has left several. She wants to take me to dinner. She offered to pick me up and take me anywhere I want to go, at her expense, of course, just so we can have a quiet conversation. But I don’t know if I can do that. Not yet.”

  “Okay, here’s what you do. Make a list of the pros and cons of why you should meet her or talk to her. Then make a list of why you shouldn’t. See which list carries more weight.”

  “I’ve been doing that. I argue with myself about it all the time.”

  “Does Shannon just want to talk?”

  “What she wants is for me to move back in with her and give up the idea I need a separation.”

  “Give in and see it her way, right?”

  “She didn’t say it like that but yes. She thinks we stand a better chance of solving our problems if we’re together. And I gave Morgan a three-month lease on the houseboat for a reason. I want time.”

  “So Shannon wants you to give up your lease and move back in with her now, even though you decided you needed some time on your own?”

  “I assume so, yes.”

  “What is your first instinct, Dana?”

  “To throw my phone in the bay and let it sink to the bot
tom with my keys.” She laughed uncomfortably.

  “Is Shannon paying your rent on the houseboat?”

  “Absolutely not,” Dana said defensively. “I am paying my own rent. I told you before. I am not a charity case, Jamie. I can take care of myself. Shannon didn’t even know I was moving out until I did. I knew if I told her what I had in mind she would have tried to stop me. I hinted about it one other time, telling her I wasn’t happy with the way we were always bickering. A few days later she booked us on a cruise which didn’t help anything.” Dana sighed. “She thought that going on a trip would erase the problems.”

  “What do you see as your core problem?”

  “To tell the truth, Jamie, if I knew that, I wouldn’t have needed to move into the houseboat. And I wouldn’t be afraid to talk to Shannon. I just feel like there is something between us. Something simmering below the surface that I can’t put my finger on.”

  “Dana, can I ask a personal question?” Jamie said in a straightforward tone.

  “Yes.”

  “Is it sexual?”

  “Lesbian bed death? No.”

  “Is either one of you cheating?”

  “No. I don’t believe in doing that. And I don’t think Shannon is unfaithful. At least not that I’m aware of.”

  “But you’re not sure.”

  “That isn’t the kind of problem we’re having.”

  “You feel there is a problem but you don’t know what it is. That makes it a little difficult to offer advice.”

  “It makes it a little difficult to sleep at night, too. Any suggestions? Should I call her back and agree to meet with her or should I stick to my guns? Steve told me I was, and I quote, ‘being a chicken shit’. Am I being unreasonable? I trust your judgment, Jamie.”

  Jamie wasn’t sure she wanted that responsibility. She wasn’t sure how deeply Dana and Shannon were committed to each other. On the other hand, Dana had made the initial step by establishing her own separate existence, free of Shannon.As much as Jamie didn’t want to admit it, she found a growing interest in Dana and didn’t want to see her hurt. If Dana trusted Jamie’s judgment, she would do her best to offer sound advice. However, Dana might just need someone to listen.