by Kenna White
“Heavens, no.” Dana couldn’t help but laugh. Hartley’s was the most expensive restaurant in Thurston County. Coffee was six dollars. Dinner for two could easily run over two hundred dollars. “Shannon, honestly, I don’t need or want anything. I’m very happy with just what I have.”
“How about me? Are you happy without me?”
Dana took a sip from her wine as she decided how to answer. She didn’t want to talk about it tonight but knew Shannon wasn’t going to let it slide. Dana went to the window and watched a sailboat ease into its slip after a day of sailing.
“Do you remember that first summer after Maggie introduced us?” Dana said.
“Sure, but I don’t want to talk about Maggie and Eva.”
“I’m not. I’m talking about us. Do you remember our first trip together?”
“Yeah, I remember. We went down the coast and stayed at that bed-and-breakfast on Cannon Beach. I got us a great deal on that room with the ocean view.”
“No. That was the second trip.” Dana turned to her. “I’m talking about the very first trip we took.”
Shannon scowled as if she couldn’t remember.
“Oh, yeah. We went to Bremerton and rode the ferry.”
“Yes. We ate hamburgers out of wax paper wrappers and watched the seagulls eat the scraps.”
“Yeah.” Shannon shook her head as if it was an unpleasant memory.
“And we huddled together under a blanket on the way back because it was raining. We stopped at that little café along the highway and had the best meatloaf we’ve ever tasted. You even said so. Then we pulled into that rest stop and kissed and talked for hours. We didn’t get home until dawn.”
“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know it was going to pour down rain.”
“I loved it. I loved the rain and the little café and the soggy ride on the ferry. It was fun because it was spontaneous. We didn’t plan it. We just did it. It was impulsive, and I loved every single minute of it.”
“Damn, you’re a cheap date, babe.”
“Don’t make fun of it, Shannon. It was very special to me.”
“Why? Because it was a complete disaster?”
“Because it was us having fun. Not you making reservations and planning elaborate travel details. We just got in the car and drove. You handed me the map and said pick a spot.”
“That’ll teach me,” Shannon said, pouring the last of the wine in her glass.
“Don’t make jokes.”
“Okay. I’ll give you that one but that’s why I made reservations at Cannon Beach. I wanted to have a real trip.”
“But it was a real trip, Shannon. Don’t you understand? You don’t have to spend a fortune to have a good time.”
“I know that, babe. But I want you to have the best my money will buy.”
Dana had the perfect reply but she was stopped by a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Shannon said, finishing her wine on the way to answer it. “Well, hello again.”
“I brought Dana’s sunglasses.”
“Jamie?” Dana said, coming to the door.
“I decided I better do it now while it was on my mind.” She held up the sunglasses. She had changed into clean jeans and shirt, her hair still wet from being washed.
“Come in,” Dana said, opening the door wide in spite of Shannon’s attempt to block it.
“I can’t stay long. I just wanted to drop this off since I promised I would.”
“Thank you.” Dana took them then pulled her inside. “Can I make you some coffee or tea?”
“Sorry, doc. We already drank all the wine.” Shannon held up her empty glass.
“No, nothing. Thanks.”
“I hear you helped our Juliana over one of the hurdles of life,” Shannon added.
“If you mean easing a little girl’s fear over starting her menstrual cycles, it was my pleasure. Juliana is a very sweet girl.”
“When Dana told me she was now a woman, I thought she meant the kid was humping the football team or something.” Shannon laughed but was the only one who thought it was funny. Dana nudged her, hoping to stop her tactless humor.
“Why would you think that?” Jamie said curiously. “Is that what you did when you were twelve?”
The comment froze the smile on Shannon’s face. Her eyes met Jamie’s in a cold exchange. Dana felt the tension grow and stepped in front of Shannon.
“Come in and sit down, Jamie. Tell us about your water samples.” Dana motioned toward the living room, hoping to defuse the situation.
“She said she couldn’t stay,” Shannon said, standing her ground.
“She’s right. I can’t. I’ve got e-mails to send this evening.” Jamie, too, seemed immovable. “Did you enjoy the wine, Shannon?” She looked over at the bottle on the table. “Martin Brothers Riesling. Very nice choice, Dana. Perfect sipping wine. Interesting, firm character, never presumptuous.” Jamie’s description seemed to be aimed more at Shannon than the wine.
“I found it full of youth and vigor. Not one of those middle-aged wines that lack luster or firm body.”Shannon’s eyes narrowed as she countered.
“Ah. I can see where that would appeal to a less mature palate.”
“As you might remember, age has nothing to do with a fine wine.”
“Perhaps not,” Jamie said, adjusting her glasses.“But maturity in wine is much more appreciated than youth.”
Dana watched the two women duel. She knew they were no longer talking about wine. These barbs were personal attacks. Shannon seemed bolder in her approach, standing proudly as she faced her enemy. Jamie was more casual in battle. She wasn’t intimidated, never flinching or retreating.
“Youth has its advantages in many areas outside the wine cellar.” Shannon gave a cheeky grin.
“I presume you are referring to the bedroom,” Jamie said, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.
“Where else?”
“Shannon,” Dana interrupted. Neither woman paid any attention to her.
“I imagine you are right. Youth in the bedroom would be an asset,” Jamie agreed.
Shannon smiled smugly.
“However,” Jamie added. “Maturity has the vision and imagination to create a bedroom atmosphere almost anywhere.”
Shannon’s eyes flashed menacingly. Dana was afraid to wait for the next thrust and parry.
“Shannon. Jamie,” she said, placing a hand on each woman’s chest to keep them apart. “It’s late. I have work to do and I’m sure you both have someplace you need to be.”
The two women stood glaring at one another while Dana looked back and forth as if she was watching a tennis match. The tension was palpable. Dana wasn’t sure where the casual visit had turned venomous but it was clear Jamie and Shannon were close to blows. It didn’t surprise her that Shannon would lash out at someone she considered a rival, but Jamie’s response did. Dana never suspected Dr. Jamie Hughes, perceptive and intellectual college professor, would lower herself to such banter. She more expected Jamie to offer some pithy remark consisting of several twelve-syllable words and then leave as quietly as she came. Instead, Shannon and Jamie stood toe to toe, acting like two cats ready to let the fur fly.
“It was nice to see you again, Shannon,” Jamie said, blinking first. “Excuse my barroom behavior. I’m just tired.” She extended her hand to Shannon. “Ignore the old professor with the attitude.”
Shannon’s frown slowly changed to an arrogant smile.
“No problem,” she said, shaking her hand. “Thanks for bringing Dana’s sunglasses back. You saved her a trip.”
“Enjoy your evening,” Jamie said, looking down at Dana. Their eyes met for a brief moment and the softness of it warmed Dana all over.
“Good night, Jamie,” Dana said, following her out the door. “Thanks again.” She watched as Jamie headed up the dock. Shannon came out and stood behind her, her arms folding around Dana.
“You better come inside. It’s getting chilly out here.�
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“Shortly,” Dana said, her eyes never leaving Jamie’s long strides.
“Come on,” Shannon said, steering her through the door.
Dana pulled away and turned to glare at her.
“What was that all about? Why were you like that to Jamie?”
“Like what? I wasn’t LIKE anything. If anyone was rude, it was her. Did you hear what she said? She called me a teenage ho. Who does she think she is?” Shannon scoffed. “I know exactly who she is. She’s a sexually frustrated middle-aged dyke who can’t function outside her precious laboratory.”
“Shannon, stop it. Jamie is not a sexually frustrated dyke. Now behave yourself or I’ll ask you to leave.” Dana scowled at her then went to the sink to wash the glasses.
“You’ll what?” Shannon laughed.
“You heard me. I don’t want to hear any more nasty remarks about Jamie or you’ll have to go home. I’m not in the mood to hear it tonight.”
Shannon sat down on a barstool and laughed out loud, crossing her arms judgmentally.
“Well, well. I know what’s going on here. Don’t think I don’t. You’ve got the hots for her, don’t you? Has good old Professor Hughes gone down on you, Dana? Is that what this is all about?”
“She has not!” Dana snapped. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Watch who you’re calling stupid, babe. I don’t take that from anyone.”
“I’m sorry. But it isn’t fair for you to think I’ve slept with Jamie either.”
“You haven’t?” Shannon asked it as if she wasn’t going to believe her, whatever she said.
“No, I haven’t.”
“You’re sure?”
“What is this? Twenty questions? I told you, I have not had sex with Jamie Hughes,” Dana said, glaring at her. “It’s late and I’m tired. I think it’s time for you to go.”
“I’m not going anywhere until we settle this.”
“Shannon,” she said, going to the door and holding it open. “Good night.”
Shannon crossed to her and closed the door, pinning Dana into the corner.
“I told you, I’m not leaving.” She grabbed Dana’s face and kissed her, forcing her tongue into her mouth.
“Shannon, stop it,” Dana said, struggling to push her back. “Go home. You’re drunk. We’ll talk about this later.”
“I’m not drunk,” she said, forcing another kiss. Shannon’s hands formed around Dana’s bottom and pulled her close. “I miss you, Dana,” Shannon said breathlessly as she fondled Dana’s ass. “I want to make love to you right here, right now. I want you to know how much I miss you.”
Dana pushed her back and leaned away from another kiss.
“Stop it. I want you to go.” Dana pushed back on her chest and reached for the door.
“Like hell,” Shannon said, slamming it shut again. “I said I want to fuck.” She grabbed Dana by the hair and pulled her head back, forcing another kiss. Dana didn’t fight her. She knew she couldn’t win. Shannon was taller and stronger. If she really wanted sex, Dana couldn’t stop her. Shannon ripped at the waistband of Dana’s slacks, popping the button and forcing her way down inside. With one demanding thrust, her fingers curled around Dana’s mound and entered her opening, probing deep and insistently. Shannon had never hurt her before, but this time it made Dana wince in pain. Dana reached down and grabbed Shannon’s wrist.
“Is this the way you want it to end?” Dana glared up at her. “If you do this, it will be the last time.”
Dana had never seen such anger in Shannon before. In the four years they had been together, even the most contentious argument had never brought out this kind of aggression. It was as if she didn’t know her. At that moment, she was a complete stranger and it scared Dana. Like confronting a wild animal, Dana knew she shouldn’t show her fear.
“It’s your choice,” Dana said, holding on to her emotions so Shannon couldn’t see how frightened she was.
Shannon slowly withdrew her hands.
“You want it just as much as I do,” she hissed. “I know you do.”
“Not like this, I don’t.”
Shannon shot her a glare then stormed out, slamming the door. Dana quickly turned the lock and pulled the shade, her hands trembling as she leaned against the doorjamb. She closed her eyes and held her breath, trying not to cry. But it was no use. Tears began streaming down her face. She sank to the floor, beating her fist against the door and sobbing uncontrollably. How could Shannon do that to her?
Dana’s first impulse was to call Jamie. At that moment, she would love to feel Jamie’s strong arms around her, protecting her and keeping her safe. But this was Dana’s moment of truth. She had to handle this for herself. If she wanted Shannon in her life, Dana had to make that decision. If she didn’t, that too was her own choice to make. Not Jamie’s.
Chapter 19
Dana hadn’t slept a wink that night. She was wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the deck of the houseboat as the morning fog obscured the sunrise. It was a gray misty dawn. Dana leaned her head back against the rocker and closed her eyes. She was tired. Not from lack of sleep but from the burden that kept her awake all night. She had trusted Shannon with her heart and her love. From the first moment they moved in together, Dana had placed that trust in Shannon’s care. Now to discover it was misplaced was the cruelest blow of all. Dana blamed herself. She had chosen her life with Shannon. She and she alone had allowed her to control her life. As much as Dana hated Shannon for what she had done, she hated herself for being submissive to her domination.
When she opened her eyes again, the fog had lifted. It was after eight o’clock. Shannon would be at work. Dana opened her cell phone and stared at Shannon’s number in the contact list. She hated to bother her at work but the time had come for them to talk.
“Hello, babe,” Shannon said as if nothing had happened last night. No apology. No remorse.
“Shannon, I need to talk with you. Could you meet me this evening?”
“This evening?” she said hesitantly. “Sure. I can rearrange my schedule. Why don’t I pick you up at seven, no six thirty? I’ll make us reservations at Bully’s Tavern.”
“No. I would like you to meet me at the bench at the end of the boardwalk. The one that overlooks the harbor. Seven o’clock.” Dana said it with firm conviction.
“Why meet there? I can pick you up at the houseboat and we can go straight from there.”
“We aren’t going out to eat, Shannon. I just want to talk with you. No reservations. No restaurant. Just you and I having a quiet conversation.”
“Okay. No reservation. Tell you what. I saw they have added some benches along the walking trail that circles Capital Lake. I’ll pick you up and we can drive over there. Seven?”
“Shannon, listen to me carefully. Seven o’clock at the bench at the end of the boardwalk. Can you make it? If you can’t, we can do it tomorrow evening, same time, same place.” Dana tried not to be insolent but this was the way she wanted it. On her terms.
“What is so great about that damn bench? It’s probably covered in seagull poop. I’ve given you two perfectly good options and you can’t make a decision on either one of them.”
“No, you have given me two alternatives to my plans. Shannon, I will be at the bench at seven. This is one time I’d advise you concede to my wishes.”
Shannon laughed.
“Okay, fine, babe. I’ll meet you at the bench at the end of the boardwalk at seven o’clock.” She made it sound like Dana’s demands were ridiculous.
“Thank you,” Dana said, relieved Shannon had finally agreed.
“See you this evening. And Dana, I love you, babe.”
Dana knew she was waiting for her reply. She loved Shannon but that wasn’t enough. Dana knew Shannon wouldn’t understand that. She pushed the button and ended the call.
Dana went inside and showered. She needed to finish some work on three of her panels but she wasn’t in the mood. She couldn’t sit still long enough
to concentrate on anything. She paced the houseboat, from the deck to the front door, stopping at the galley to make a cup of coffee. She eyed Jamie’s shirt hanging on the hook behind the bathroom door. She had washed and worn it several times, each time reminding herself she should return it to Jamie. But she liked to wear it. It was comfortable. It was a little too big and the sleeves were too long, but it fit around her like a reassuring hug. Dana sat down at her computer and opened her e-mail. She drummed her fingers on the keys, deciding how to start an e-mail. Finally, she closed the laptop and picked up her cell phone. She punched in Jamie’s cell number but the call went to her voice mail. Dana tried her office number.
“Dr. Hughes’s office. May I help you?” It wasn’t Jamie’s voice.
“Hello. Is she there?” Dana asked.
“I’m sorry but Dr. Hughes has stepped out. Can I take a message?”
“When do you expect her back?”
“I’m not sure. She had to run out to Boston Harbor Marina. Something about her boat.”
“Her sailboat?”
“Yes. I think so. Do you want me to have her call you when she gets back?”
“That’s all right. I’ll call her later.” She hung up and headed for the marina. It took her twenty minutes to wind through downtown and out Boston Harbor Road. As she pulled into the parking lot, she could see Jamie standing on the deck of her boat with her hands in her back pockets, studying the tip of the boat. She looked up and smiled at Dana as she headed down the dock.
“Hey, there,” Jamie said. “This is a coincidence. What are you doing out here?” She smiled.
“Hello. I called your office. They said you were out here. Is everything all right?” Dana said from the dock.
“Somebody wasn’t watching where they were going and sideswiped the bow. The marina owner thought I better take a look at it.”
“Is there much damage?”
“I don’t think so. A little paint got scraped off and there’s a small scuff to the gunwale but it looks like only surface damage.” Jamie squatted and rubbed her hand across the missing paint. “Nothing major.”
“That’s good news. I’m sure you were worried.”