“Yes, I do,” she said.
And maybe Helena was right. Maybe she did need to return to Ashford. Maybe leaving him wouldn’t solve anything. After all, running away had delivered Caroline to world of new problems.
“I can’t leave,” Helena continued, but this time her voice broke over the words. “He’d come after me. He’d stop sending money to my mom. And . . . he doesn’t hurt me.”
“Helena?” Ryan’s voice called from the front. “There’s a limo waiting outside for you.”
“Be right there,” Helena called back, her tone suddenly light and upbeat.
She should have stuck with acting, Caroline thought.
But rewriting the past was impossible. And in some cases, so was moving on.
Helena’s gaze darted around the room. “The bathroom?”
“Over there.” Caroline pointed to a door on the far side on the room near the desk. “Take your time,” she added. “I’ll tell them you’ll be out soon.”
“Thank you,” Helena whispered, the falsely positive note gone from her voice.
Caroline shook her head. “You don’t need to thank me. I don’t think I’m helping you.”
But Helena had already locked herself in the staff bathroom.
“WHAT THE HELL happened to her?” Noah demanded when Ryan marched through the employee entrance to the bar.
“A designer clothes explosion,” Lily murmured.
“I haven’t seen Helena since before I left for basic training,” Noah continued. “But I swear, if I saw her walking down the street, I wouldn’t have recognized her.”
Caroline closed the dishwasher and set it to run. Then she turned and headed for the group surrounding the air force officer. Noah, Dominic, and Lily had left Josie in charge of the now open bar to have a ‘serious conversation’ with Ryan after he returned from walking Helena out to meet her limo driver.
“She sure as shit isn’t the same Helena we knew in high school,” Dominic said. “I know people change. Hell, we all have. But not like that.”
“She died her hair blond,” Lily added. “Her beautiful, long brown hair. And I couldn’t even see a single freckle beneath all that makeup.”
Because her husband told her to, Caroline thought.
The group of old friends stood near the door leading to the employee parking area. A wall lined with beer cases and kegs, some filled and others empty, occupied the space beside the group. And the desk, covered in stacks of paper, lined the far wall by the door leading to the employee bathroom Helena had used to pull herself back together.
But no one was looking at the mess—or even sparing her a glance. They were all focused on Ryan, waiting for his answer.
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know. But I’m planning to go to Palo fucking Alto and figure out what the hell is going on. I should have gone years ago when she stopped visiting her mom. Or letting anyone go down there to see her. I called her mother after she rushed out of here and jumped in that damn limo. Helena’s mom hasn’t been down to see her in four years. It’s never a ‘good time’ for her husband.”
“Shit,” Noah said, shaking his head.
“And I got the sense her mom doesn’t want to make waves because Helena sends money every month,” Ryan added bitterly. “They never had much, but to bury your head in the sand to your daughter’s problems in exchange for a paycheck?”
“That’s a little harsh,” Lily said. “You don’t know the full story. Helena might be perfectly happy—”
“He’s hurting her,” Ryan growled. “I don’t know if he’s hitting her. But he’s doing something.”
“Sure that’s not jealousy talking?” Lily asked gently.
“Ryan’s never had a thing for expensive clothes,” Dominic said.
Lily narrowed her blue eyes at her boyfriend. “I meant jealous of Helena’s husband, what’s his name.”
“Ashford,” Ryan spat out.
“At your going away party,” Lily continued, turning now to Ryan. “The night before you all left—”
“Nothing happened,” Ryan said. “We started messing around. Last night in town and all, but it felt too weird. Like kissing my sister. So I ended it and got the hell out of there, pulling my damn shirt back on as fast as I could. And afterward . . . I always figured that’s why she kept her distance. Maybe it felt too weird. Maybe she needed space. And then she got married.”
“You think her husband hits her?” Dominic said. He didn’t raise his voice. But there was an undercurrent of steel in the former army ranger’s tone.
“He’s doing something,” Ryan growled. “She cut her hair for him. Dyed it for him. I asked her about it when I picked her up at her mom’s place. She said, ‘Ash likes it.’ She didn’t laugh once on the drive over.”
“You can’t walk away from the air force on a hunch,” Dominic said.
“He’s right,” Caroline cut in. She couldn’t keep quiet, standing by and listening while they explained Helena’s problems away. It was too easy. She knew from experience.
Sure you didn’t send mixed signals? Are you certain you didn’t flirt with him?
Almost everyone Caroline had told about Dustin tried to minimize or shift the blame. Some held the military culture responsible. And some placed the fault on her shoulders.
Of course that was different. She’d come forward. Helena had stood in here and told her she was ‘fine.’ She’d said her husband wasn’t hurting her.
But Helena still felt she couldn’t leave. And that wasn’t right. Everyone should have the right to walk away.
Caroline drew a deep breath and told Helena’s friends about the phone call and their conversation afterward.
“That’s it,” Ryan snapped. “I’m going down there and I’m bringing her back here. If he tries to come after her—”
“How much more leave do you have?” Dominic demanded.
Caroline rested her hands on the stainless steel table that separated the dishwasher from the rest of the storage room/office. She suspected she knew his answer. The thought of hearing those words sent a chill down her spine.
“I’m not going back,” Ryan said firmly.
“You can’t go AWOL,” Noah said without looking at her.
“What do you plan to do when you get there?” Dominic demanded. “Have a chat with her husband? You’ll need to hang out for a while to get a sense of what is going on. And if you’re wrong, you’ll be in a helluva lot of trouble.”
“He’s right,” Noah added. “You can’t walk away from the air force to follow up on an old friend. I’ll go.”
“And leave your wife and child?” Ryan shot back.
Caroline walked around the edge of the stainless steel table and headed for the bickering group. “I’ll go,” she announced, standing behind Lily.
Four heads turned toward her.
“What?” Ryan’s movie star brow furrowed. “You don’t even know her. Just because you overheard her talking to her husband—”
“I do know her.” Caroline kept her tone strong and even.
“What the hell? Are you from Palo Alto?” Ryan cocked his head.
She shook her head. “I know how she feels. Alone. Afraid. I’ve been there. Most days, I still am. I can help her.”
Maybe.
But she suspected she had a better shot than Ryan. He might love her like a sister, but he still loved her. And bonus, Caroline had already tossed away her military career.
“No,” Noah snapped. “You can’t go, Caroline.”
“Looks like I missed the party.” Josh’s happy-go-lucky voice sliced through the tension as he pushed open the door leading to the staff parking area. “Change your mind about letting her take a dinner break, boss?”
“Your girlfriend just volunteered to visit California,” Lily said.
Josh turned to her and raised an eyebrow. “We’re going on a road trip?”
“No.” She looked straight into his beautiful green eyes. “Just me.”
“Forgetting that you don’t have a car or a license?” Josh said. “I happen to have both. And a pile of vacation days ready and waiting to take my girl on a trip.”
“I’ll manage on my own. I don’t need to drag you into this.”
Or the little side mission she’d been plotting since Ryan first announced his intentions to follow Helena to California.
It had been over a year since she’d run away fearing Dustin was hot on her trail, ready to turn her in—or worse. And listening to Helena, she’d realized that running came with its own issues.
She needed to see for herself that her former CO no longer posed a threat. On her way down to Palo Alto, she planned to swing by Dustin’s hometown. But no one needed to know that part of her plan.
“So you’re dumping me?” Josh asked. “Before the third date?”
“Josh—”
“I don’t pretend, Caroline.” He pushed through the group and headed for her. Lily stepped aside to make room for him.
She could have backed away. Ran. But no, she was done rushing off at the first hint of fear. And Josh didn’t frighten her. Although if she stepped back and thought about his public insistence that they were honest to God dating she might say . . .
Yes, join me.
He stopped within arm’s reach and raised his hand. His finger brushed her right cheek. “And I have a rule about letting my girlfriend walk or, hell, hitchhike across state lines.”
“You and your damn rules,” she muttered.
He smiled and lowered his hand. “I’ll take that as a yes. When do we leave?”
“Tomorrow. First thing.”
He nodded. “I’ll pick you up at seven. And I’ll bring the coffee and doughnuts. Seeing as this will be our third official date and all.”
“Before you go,” Ryan jumped in. “We need to talk.”
“I’m listening,” she said, keeping her gaze fixed on Josh while Ryan demanded to know her plan.
Josh had changed into a long-sleeve, button-down shirt for their one-hour dinner date. He’d dressed up for her. He liked her. But if they had any hope of moving beyond ‘like,’ she needed to face her past. She would knock down her fears one by one on this trip. And then maybe they would have a chance at something more. She would still face the threat of arrest. But a fugitive’s happy-ever-after was better than nothing.
She glanced at the man who’d traded his go-to flannel for a dress shirt. She’d heard him talk about his siblings. His brothers and sister had their ups and downs on their way to happy-ever-after. But now they were living the dream—Josh’s dream. There was even a rumor that his oldest brother, Brody, planned to adopt a child soon. And she knew for a fact his sister was expecting her first child in five or so months.
Would her constricted version of love be enough for him?
Chapter 8
WHAT AM I doing driving to California on a pseudo-rescue mission?
Josh mulled the situation as he raised his travel coffee mug to his lips. His brothers had asked that question ten different ways when he informed them of his plans to take a road trip.
Sure it’s a vacation when your girlfriend’s carrying a loaded gun?
His oldest brother, Brody, had added that one to the pile. And no, Josh wasn’t sure of a damn thing other than the fact he couldn’t let Caroline run off to help a woman she’d met for five minutes. If that truly was her number one reason for heading back to the part of the country she’d run from once.
Plus, he wanted a third date.
The door to Noah’s old farmhouse swung open and Josh focused on the porch. His girlfriend appeared with her backpack slung over one shoulder. She’d tied her long dark hair back in a bun. And she’d selected cargo pants, her combat boots, and a plain black T-shirt for their adventure.
“For the record,” he said as she pulled open the door to his truck, “I liked your fitted jeans better. Although I suppose those pants offer more room for your gun.”
“They do.” She settled into the passenger seat, her pack nestled between her feet.
He held out the box of doughnut holes. “In that case, I’ll let you have first pick. Take all the chocolate ones if you want.”
“I prefer the ones with the jelly filling.” She reached into the box and took three white powdered doughnuts.
“Really?” He set the box down and handed her a cup of coffee. His fingers brushed hers and he thought that’s why I’m here. He wanted to touch her, talk to her, and learn about her doughnut preferences.
He put the truck in gear and backed out of the long gravel drive. “I hate the jelly-filled ones,” he added.
“And I know you love chocolate,” she said in the same sensual tone she’d used the other night when she told him to strip.
He slowed to a stop at the top of the drive and glanced at her. “Tell me you’ll marry me.”
“So that we can spend the rest of our life sharing boxes of doughnut holes?”
Yes, he thought. And moonlit walks through vineyards. And dirty movies. . .
She popped a jelly-filled one in her mouth and shook her head.
“Too presumptuous for the third date?” His grip tightened on the wheel as he turned onto the road and headed for the highway.
“Let’s see if we survive the road trip first.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her look at him. “Did you map out the route?”
“We could do it in one day,” he said. “Nine to ten straight hours in the car. But I thought it might be nice to pause and stretch our legs once or twice.”
She nodded as she stretched out her legs in the passenger seat and turned her gaze to the window. “I need to make a stop about an hour, maybe two, south of the state line. I’ll direct you once we get closer.”
Tell me more about how you like your doughnuts. But he knew he had to ask about the little side trip she’d dropped into the conversation.
“To see your sister?” And yeah, he wished he could see her expression, but he had to keep his eyes on the road. “Don’t tell me we’re skipping straight to the meet-the-family dates.”
“Not this trip.” She let out a forced laugh. “She’s still upset that my former CO showed up at her doorstep and started tossing out threats while her kids were in the house.”
“Your sister blamed you for that?” he asked with a healthy dose of what the fuck in his tone.
“She was scared. But we weren’t exactly close before. And since I ran, she’s started talking to my parents,” she said.
“Your parents,” he repeated. Any trace of humor had exited the conversation as they sped down the highway.
He’d spent hours with her in the back room at Big Buck’s. He knew that she’d grown up moving from one base to another. Her father had been a Marine. And he’d always assumed they’d passed away. She’d talked about her sister. Her niece and nephew. But never her mom and dad. He’d never pushed because shit, he didn’t talk about his mom much. She hadn’t been in the picture for a long time and he left it at that.
“They’re back in Maryland,” she said. “Or that’s what my sister said the last time we talked. She wanted to know where I was. She said my parents had been asking. But if they knew . . .” She sat up straight, her hands folded in her lap and her chin held high. “They’d turn me in.”
Josh punched the gas and fought the urge to swerve off the road and park on the shoulder. She had a group of people—a sort of family—at Big Buck’s who’d worked to keep her secret. But her own parents would see her locked in a jail cell.
“Why?” he said, his voice low and hard.
“They believed my CO,” she said. “Or at least my dad bough
t into the ‘good soldier’ defense and in the end it was my word against Dustin’s. He admitted we’d had an affair. With Noah’s testimony, he couldn’t skirt that issue. But Dustin claimed it was consensual.”
She listed the facts as if the trial had happened to someone else. Her tone remained calm. But one glance away from the road, and he saw the tension in her posture. She sat up straight, her shoulder blades drawn down her back. And her legs were no longer outstretched in front of her. Her feet rested on either side of her backpack.
“His defense countered that the traumatic environment altered my perception. We were on a remote base, close to what many considered the front lines of the battle. Everyone was tense all the time.” She shrugged. “My dad believed the decorated soldier, not me. And my mom followed my father’s lead.”
“They didn’t fight for you.” It was a statement, not a question.
“No. I guess in their eyes I wasn’t a good enough soldier.”
He reached over and took her hand. “I think it takes a helluva lot more courage to do what you did, to speak up against the person everyone sees as the ‘good guy’ than to stand by the lines drawn in the sand between good and bad.”
“Thank you,” she murmured.
He squeezed her hand, but kept his eyes on the road. “And I stand by my assessment from the other night. You’re more badass than any other woman I’ve ever met. And I find that so damn hot.”
She laughed. And another quick peek told him that he’d won a smile.
They drove in silence for a few minutes. But the questions lingered. And he couldn’t push them away. If they weren’t stopping to see her sister, where did she want to go?
There was only one other person he could think of from her life before she’d run away to Forever. Her rapist. And shit, that put one helluva dark spin on their third date.
“So this stop in Northern Cali. Are you planning something that might get you arrested?” he asked.
She pulled her hand free from his. “No.”
But once again there was a boatload of serious in her tone. His brothers might have been right about this little trip redefining ‘vacation.’ And he hated to let his brothers win. Ever.
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