by Lucy Daniels
And still they talked.
She told him about the time Jack had chickenpox so badly that he still had the scars and about how he had gone on a reindeer hunt last year and got lost out on the moors in the snow.
Then, she shared happier moments. Jack’s first steps, his first word: ‘kitty’, the first time he’d won a race at the nursery sports day. Michael’s reactions were giving her the smallest inkling of what it might be like to have a co-parent by her side. It felt like it would be nice.
It had been so much better than she had expected, Susan thought. She had come here filled with worry about herself and about Jack. But Michael seemed truly to have changed.
He leaned forward and looked her straight in the eye. ‘So what do you think then?’
The time was finally here, she thought. He wanted to know what the future would hold. For a moment, Susan thought about throwing caution to the wind. The afternoon had gone so well. Why would she say no to him seeing Jack? But she had decided earlier that however it went, she wouldn’t make up her mind tonight. She should sleep on it and talk it over with someone. Then it would be time to make up her mind.
She sighed with relief. The tension that had filled her earlier was long gone. ‘I’ve really enjoyed this,’ she said. ‘I’ll think it over about Jack and let you know.’
He sat back in his chair. She had half expected him to press her, but he seemed satisfied. Another positive change.
‘That would be great,’ he said. ‘I was so worried you’d just say no.’
They’d been there so long that the waiter had lit the candle on the table, ready for the evening service. She could see its light reflected in Michael’s large brown eyes. Those eyes that were so much like Jack’s. She had never allowed herself to see it before.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said. She hadn’t expected him to say it, but her breath caught in her throat. Had he really? They’d had some good times. A wave of longing rushed over her. If only she could go back to those uncomplicated days, when the sun had shone on everything and the future had seemed so clear. How much of the blame for what had happened lay with Michael’s father? It was hard to stand up to parents sometimes, even as an adult.
‘I missed you too, sometimes,’ she admitted.
The words hung in the air and for a moment, she wanted to call them back. But, she reasoned, it was the truth. They owed each other that.
‘I’m glad,’ he said. ‘Thank you for this afternoon.’
They pushed out their chairs and made their way to the door. The waiter brought their coats and Michael helped Susan put hers on.
‘Thank you very much,’ Susan called out to the waiter, who nodded and smiled.
They paused in the lane under the old-fashioned street lamps, which had now lit up in the dusk, and the trembling Christmas lights. ‘Can I offer you a lift?’ he asked.
Susan shook her head. ‘No need. I’m staying just around the corner,’ she said.
‘Well in that case, I’ll walk you there,’ he said.
They walked side by side along the pavement. The wind was swirling, chilly on Susan’s face. Overhead the sky was dark grey. The sounds of their feet echoed in the narrow street.
‘This is me,’ Susan announced a few minutes later. She pressed the buzzer beside the door, then turned to face him. He looked so good under the peach-coloured light. For a moment, she wondered if he would kiss her, but he just stood and gazed into her eyes. When the answer came, and the buzzer sounded, he nodded, then turned and strode off. Susan had a sudden feeling of emptiness as she pushed the door open, which alarmed her. She closed the door and stood with her back against it for a moment.
I cannot fall for Michael again!
Chapter Twelve
‘We’ve brought your decorations!’ Susan stood on Mr Gorski’s doorstep, clinging tightly to the cardboard box into which she had loaded the paper chains, the wreath, some cut-out snowflakes and several ornaments for Mr Gorski’s mantelpiece.
Mr Gorski pulled the door open wide. ‘Come on in,’ he said, then to Jack with a grin, ‘you’ll help me put them up, won’t you?’
‘Course I will.’ Jack bounded into the hall. ‘I can show you which ones I made!’ He sounded excited. Susan was too. They’d made a real effort. Susan was especially proud of the mini fir trees they’d made from string and sequins. She stepped into the hall and Jack rushed over to take Mr Gorski’s hand. ‘How’s Coffee?’ he asked, gazing up into the old man’s face.
Mr Gorski smiled, though Susan could see it was an effort. ‘I think she’s a bit better,’ he said. ‘Would you like to come and see her?’ He led them through to the living room, where Coffee was lying in her bed. ‘I moved her here,’ Mr Gorski said, ‘so she’d be nice and warm.’ The little terrier was lying huddled in her bed, which was close to the fireplace. She wagged her tail as they went in, but she didn’t stand up.
‘She still barks to let me know when the door rings,’ Mr Gorski told them. ‘But she doesn’t rush through like she used to.’
Coffee gave Jack a cursory lick. Susan was sad to see the little terrier so dejected. She had always raced around the house and arrived noisily at the door long before Mr Gorski himself made it there.
‘Well now.’ Mr Gorski was looking in the box that Susan had set on one of the chairs. ‘Isn’t this a lovely thing?’ He pulled out Jack’s paper chain and held it out in his hands. ‘Where do you think we should put it, Jack?’
‘Ummmmm.’ Jack gazed about the room. ‘Over the mirror!’ He pointed to the large mirror above the mantelpiece.
‘Marvellous!’ Mr Gorski pulled a step stool next to the mantelpiece. ‘Would you do the honours, please, Susan?’
Susan took the paper chain and draped it over the heavy gilt frame that hung over the fireplace.
Mr Gorski grinned at Jack. ‘Oh, what a clever idea, Jack. The reflection makes it look like there are two lovely paper chains!’
Jack nodded. His big eyes were glittering with happiness.
‘What next?’ Mr Gorski asked.
Jack trotted over to the box and pulled out the snowflakes. There were a lot of them and for a moment, Susan wondered what the old man would do with all of them. But he set to with Jack and a few minutes later, there was a white paper snowflake stuck in every one of the small panes in the large bay window. Susan popped out to hang her wreath on the front door.
They put the string trees on the mantelpiece. Susan had also brought some fir-branches and holly. They trimmed them with the baubles and tinsel that Mr Gorski and Susan had rescued from the dusty old box they’d looked at before. By the time they’d finished, Mr Gorski’s room looked very cheery. He stood nodding as he gazed round with satisfaction. ‘It’s beautiful,’ he said. ‘My sister will love it.’
‘Would you like me to send her a photo?’ Susan asked. ‘So she can see what she’s coming to?’
Mr Gorski beamed. ‘What a lovely idea,’ he said.
Susan pulled out her phone. She would take a picture of the fireplace with its trees and the paper chain. Coffee’s basket was close by as well. Susan lined up the camera and took the picture. It looked very festive. She showed it to Mr Gorski. ‘Shall I send it?’ she asked.
‘Yes please,’ he said.
Susan typed in Mr Gorski’s sister’s number. ‘That’s it sent,’ she said. She glanced round the room. Now that the decorations were done, Jack had settled himself on the floor beside Coffee and was stroking the little terrier’s head. Both of them seemed contented.
While she had her phone out, she thought, she should ask Mr Gorski for a shopping list. ‘Is there anything you need me to buy?’ she asked.
‘That would be very kind.’ He really was a lovely man, Susan thought. He never took anything for granted.
He started to list the things he would need. Susan was typing in the list when a message came through. It was from Douglas.
Hi Susan, it read. I had a great time the other day and I hope you did too. I’d love
to meet up again sometime. Maybe visit Hope Meadows as we discussed. I hope you’re doing something fun right now. Douglas. x
She stared at the screen for a moment, reading the message again. He was very polite. He wasn’t pushing her and despite her reservations, their trip to Upper Welford Hall and the rope course had been fun. But what about Michael? His reappearance complicated everything. She sighed internally. Why did life have to be complicated? Maybe this wasn’t a good time to be dating.
‘And a packet of mince pies please.’ Susan looked up. Mr Gorski was looking worried. ‘Did you get all that?’ he asked. ‘Sorry if I went too fast.’
She shook her head slightly. ‘I missed a couple of things,’ she admitted. ‘Sorry.’
He smiled. ‘Please don’t be,’ he said. ‘Coffee and I really are very grateful for everything you do.’
Susan knelt down next to the chicken coop, lit by the dim overhead light of the barn. Mandy crouched next to her and they peered into the coop. Inside there were five chickens. All of them were peacefully asleep. They looked very cosy, huddled together. There were three with red feathers and two with white. One of the white chickens had lifted its head, opened an eye and gazed at them without fear.
‘So these are your new arrivals,’ Susan whispered with a smile, referring to a cryptic message Mandy had left on her voicemail when she’d invited her up for dinner at Wildacre.
‘That’s right.’ Mandy grinned at her. ‘I rescued them. They won’t start laying until spring, but after that we should have lots of lovely eggs. Jack can meet them next time you come. I thought there wasn’t much point showing him when they were asleep. They’re much more fun awake!’ She closed up the coop and stopped in the barn doorway before turning off the light. ‘Jimmy and I have finished renovating in here too,’ she said. ‘I think he’s hoping to use it for cars, but I’m determined it should stay free. What if a horse needed a lovely new home?’ Her eyes were so wide and innocent that Susan laughed.
‘They’re very sweet,’ she replied. ‘You rescued them, you said?’
‘Seb brought them in to Hope Meadows,’ Mandy said. Seb Conway was Welford’s animal welfare officer. Susan knew that Mandy and he often crossed paths. ‘They weren’t well when they came. One of them had lost most of its feathers, but they’ve come back, thank goodness. I thought at one point I was going to have to learn to knit so I could make a woolly jumper.’
Susan found herself laughing again. Mandy really was crazy about animals.
It was completely dark outside. Once Mandy switched the light off, it seemed like the lights in her cottage, Wildacre, were the only ones on for miles around. They walked back into the cottage and Mandy led Susan to the living room, where they had been sitting before the chicken excursion. Susan could hardly imagine a more homely place. The walls were painted creamy white and a fire burned brightly in the grate. A pile of dogs lay in front of it: Mandy’s collie Sky, Simba the German Shepherd, Zoe the husky and her six-month-old puppy, Emma. It was very peaceful. Jack was asleep upstairs, in the bedroom Jimmy’s twins stayed in when they were over. Luckily, he was familiar enough with Mandy and Jimmy that he could happily go to sleep in Wildacre. It meant Susan could have dinner with her friends, without having to find a babysitter and she was grateful to Mandy for suggesting the arrangement.
A few minutes later, they were sitting around the little scrubbed oak table in the kitchen. There hadn’t been a peep from Jack. Susan had checked him just before they’d sat down. He was fast asleep, snuggled up to Lamby, just as cosy as the chickens had been earlier.
Jimmy’s veggie Bolognese was very good, Susan thought. Cooking had never been one of Mandy’s strong points. She was lucky Jimmy seemed to enjoy it. Mandy was looking a bit less tired. Maybe it was the help of that rather dashing blond vet. ‘How are things at Animal Ark and Hope Meadows?’ she asked.
Mandy chewed a mouthful of her Bolognese, then took a sip of wine before she answered. ‘It’s going well at the practice,’ she said. ‘Toby’s slotted in perfectly. It almost feels like he’s always been here. Hope Meadows?’ She lifted her glass again and put her head on one side, inspecting her drink. ‘It’s much better now we’ve got the grant,’ she said. Susan knew Mandy had won a grant from the Walmey Foundation back in the summer. ‘We can cover the running costs now, but …’ She set her glass down and paused to scoop up some spaghetti, stopping with her fork halfway to her mouth. ‘I still need some new kennels,’ she said. ‘And I’d love to have better spaces for wildlife and rearing kittens and so on.’
‘So you need some fundraising ideas?’ Susan asked.
‘You’re just like Mandy,’ Jimmy told her, laughing. ‘Getting straight to the heart of things.’
Mandy grinned. ‘I’ll take any ideas you’ve got,’ she said.
‘Maybe I could organise something through the nursery?’ Susan suggested. ‘A sponsored walk or something. The kids get so much out of their visits, I know they would love to do something to help the animals.’
‘That’s so kind of you, Susan. Maybe you could do something after Christmas, when your Nativity play is over?’
Susan nodded. Mandy knew just how hectic Christmas could be for her. ‘New Year fundraising it is!’ she said, raising her wine glass.
‘In the meantime, Toby had a few ideas,’ Mandy said. ‘Open evenings, sponsorship, that kind of thing. He knows lots of people in our industry and some of them are quite important. I’m waiting to see whether he’ll organise them. I don’t want to push him too hard. Not when he’s just arrived.’
Susan swallowed her last mouthful of the Bolognese and sat back in her chair. ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ she said. ‘Jack and I love coming to visit.’
Mandy had finished her meal as well. She and Jimmy stood up and started to clear away the plates. Susan tried to help but they flapped her away, laughing.
‘Our guest doesn’t lift a finger!’ Jimmy insisted as he disappeared into the kitchen.
‘By the way,’ Mandy said, as she sat back down. ‘I know it won’t make any money, but how about having a little competition with your class? They can all suggest names for the kittens, then you and I can choose the best ones.’
‘That’s a lovely idea,’ Susan said. ‘Good that you and I get to choose, though. Otherwise, we’d end up with one called Kitteny McKittenface!’
Mandy laughed. ‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘Our decision is final. Definitely not a vote.’
Jimmy had just returned with dessert bowls and ice cream when Susan felt the phone in her pocket vibrate. She knew that Miranda had driven to London that night to see old friends, so she thought she’d better check it wasn’t some sort of motorway SOS. ‘’Scuse me a moment. Just have to check this,’ Susan said.
It was another message from Douglas. Susan felt a jolt of surprise and guilt as she realised that she’d forgotten to text him back. She’d put it off before, not knowing what to do in the wake of her Michael meeting, and then it had slipped her mind. Somehow, with Michael back on the scene, it almost felt like she couldn’t just carry on with her dating life … could she?
‘Anything important?’ Jimmy was smiling at her over his bowl of ice cream.
‘It’s from Douglas,’ she replied.
‘Oh, great!’ said Jimmy. ‘He’s a good guy, I like him.’
‘What’s he say?’ Mandy’s eyes were shining. She, too, obviously thought a message from Douglas was a good thing.
Susan gave the tiniest of shrugs, twisting her mouth to one side as she reread the message:
Hi Susan, sorry to bother you again, but I was wondering if you might be willing to show me around Hope Meadows? I think the animals would be great inspiration for my writing. I’m having a bit of a block at the moment. Obviously, I’d like to see you again, too, but this wouldn’t have to be a date unless that’s what you want. Douglas
‘He’d like to come to Hope Meadows,’ she replied. Was he a little pushy in texting so soon when she hadn’t replied? She mostly re
sponded to texts really quickly, though.
Mandy grinned. ‘Well that’s no problem,’ she said. ‘Honestly, you know you’re welcome any time.’ Susan felt uneasy for a moment. Mandy had obviously mistaken her hesitancy for concern about asking for a favour.
‘It’s not that,’ Susan admitted. ‘It’s Michael. You know I saw him the other day?’ Mandy nodded. ‘Well I just feel a bit odd about seeing him and Douglas at the same time.’
Mandy frowned. ‘But you’re not seeing Michael,’ she objected. ‘Just talking to him as Jack’s father, no?’
Susan felt her face redden. There was no way she should be thinking of Michael in anything other than those terms. But ever since she’d seen him, she’d been confused. She had loved him so much all those years ago. If he’d really changed, it would be so easy to fall for him all over again.
‘Is Douglas pushing you too fast?’ Jimmy put in.
Susan shook her head. ‘No,’ she said, truthfully. ‘He even says it doesn’t have to be a date.’
‘Well then.’ Mandy leaned forward and put her elbows on the table. ‘Bring him but tell him it can’t be a date because you want to bring Jack. Then see how it goes. Nothing wrong with getting to know him better.’
That was true, Susan thought. She typed a reply to Douglas and he swiftly agreed that they could meet tomorrow. His message was filled with enthusiasm. Susan shoved the phone back into her pocket.
‘Coffee?’ Jimmy asked. ‘I’ll make it. Why don’t you guys go to the fire and get comfy?’
Susan pushed her chair back. She was still feeling a little uneasy, but it didn’t have to affect the rest of this evening. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘That would be lovely.’
Jack was delighted when he opened the door the next day and found Douglas on the doorstep. ‘Mummy, Mummy,’ he shouted. ‘Come and see. It’s the nice story man.’