by Kitty Neale
The policemen nodded at her, walking behind them as Edith led Jenny to the front room. She gently urged her to sit on the sofa, then sat beside her, holding her hand. ‘Can you tell me what happened, love?’
Jenny sobbed, tears running down her face unheeded, her nose running as she gasped, ‘I … I was numb when I was in the police car. It was better when I was numb. Oh … Gran … I can’t bear it. I can’t.’
As she hugged her granddaughter, Edith quietly addressed the policemen. ‘What happened?’
The older officer repeated what he’d told Jenny, then asked, ‘Do you know where we can locate Mr Brice’s uncle?’
‘I know he lives in Peckham somewhere, but I don’t know his address. There’s a telephone number for him though, in the sideboard drawer. He was coming to pick me up for—’ Edith stopped speaking. She was going to say, ‘For the wedding’, but that wouldn’t be happening now. Oh dear God, she thought, it was going to be hard enough for Jenny to deal with her grief, let alone live through her wedding day. It was only a couple of weeks away, but instead of a celebration they’d be burying the love of Jenny’s life.
‘Thank you,’ the officer said after rifling in the drawer. ‘I’ve found a number, but only a first name.’
‘Yes, John, but that’s as much as I know,’ Edith replied.
‘It’s all right, with the number that will be enough. If there’s nothing more I can do, we’ll see ourselves out.’
‘I can’t think of anything at the moment,’ Edith told him.
Alone again, Jenny continued to cry, but at last she drew in juddering breaths and said, ‘I can’t believe he’s gone, Gran. I can’t take it in … it doesn’t seem real. Part of me believes that when I get home he’ll be there and that this is just an awful nightmare.’
‘That’s a normal reaction, love. Your mind doesn’t want to accept it.’
‘Gran … it’s unbearable,’ Jenny cried, tears flowing again.
‘I know we aren’t a family of churchgoers, but I’ve heard it said that God never gives us more than we can cope with.’
‘I don’t believe that ’cos I can’t cope with this!’
Edith held her granddaughter as the girl continued to sob. She wished she could take away her pain or at least find some words of comfort to offer. After a while, Jenny’s tears subsided again, so Edith gently asked, ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
‘Ye-yes, please.’
Edith didn’t like to leave Jenny alone, not even for a few minutes whilst she boiled the kettle, but the girl seemed calmer. As fast as she could, Edith brewed a pot and poured two cups. With shaking hands, she managed to carry them through on a tray, and after placing it on a side table she handed one to her granddaughter.
The cup rattled in the saucer as Jenny said, ‘I … I don’t know how I’m going to break it to Pamela and the boys. They think the world of Cr-Craig.’
‘There’s no easy way, love, but I can do it if you like?’
‘It should come from me, but … but I dread it and they’ll be here in a few hours. Pamela is going to drop the boys off here after school. She was going to ask you to look after them while she has tea with her friend.’
‘Right then, we can sit them down and tell them together,’ Edith said, relieved that Jenny didn’t have to go home for a while.
She watched her granddaughter take a sip of tea before returning the cup to the saucer. Tears began to flow again, and Edith’s eyes filled too. She had been through two world wars and lost her husband prematurely to tuberculosis, yet this was the first time in her life she’d wished for the power to turn back time.
Chapter 23
It was a dreary Friday morning in November. Lizzie sat under the dryer at the hairdresser’s and chatted away to the woman next to her, her voice loud so the other woman could hear her. ‘My chap is taking me out to dinner tonight, so I want to look my best.’
‘Shame about the weather and there’s no sign of it changing.’
‘I know, and it’ll play havoc with my set and blow dry.’
‘You’ll need an umbrella, that’s for sure. I just wish it would stop soon. My blinkin’ roof is leaking. I’ve got three buckets in my girls’ bedroom and two in my own.’
‘Oh dear, that’s a bit of an inconvenience,’ Lizzie said.
‘Yes, it is. Mind you, I shouldn’t complain, not after that poor chap was killed at work a couple of weeks ago when his roof came down. Did you hear about it? Tragic, it was.’
‘No, I’ve not heard a thing.’
‘It was awful. A lady in the queue at the post office told me that he was screaming for help for half an hour before he passed away. They couldn’t get to him, and it turned out he was deaf, so he couldn’t even hear that people were there trying to help him. Apparently, he was only young and all.’
Lizzie’s mind whirled. Young and deaf? No, surely not! Surely it wasn’t Craig! Jenny was supposed to be getting married tomorrow, and for the first time in years, Lizzie’s heart went out to her daughter. She had to find out – had to know. She called to the hairdresser, ‘Excuse me, Miss, can you take this off me, I need to go.’
‘But you’re not done yet.’
‘I know, but something’s come up … I just remembered I need to be somewhere.’
‘But what about your hair?’
Lizzie didn’t answer, and as the hood was lifted she frantically pulled the rollers out. She’d get soaked walking to her mother’s flat, but she had to know where Jenny was so this time she’d demand that her mum gave her Jenny’s address.
Gloria had to change trains twice to get from Holborn to Balham and thought to herself that it was a pest of a journey. She hadn’t seen Jenny or her other siblings since she’d moved to Holborn, but it had been the best two weeks of her life. Now though, as the tube pulled into Balham station, Gloria realised she was looking forward to seeing her family. She felt a bit guilty for not being around to help her sister to arrange the wedding but knowing Jenny she’d have managed without her. Gloria stood up and grabbed her overnight bag. She’d brought enough clothes for the weekend, but it was heavy, and the handles cut into her hand. She now regretted packing so much make-up, and probably one pair of shoes would have sufficed.
As she left the station the wind howled and blew her umbrella inside out. Sod it, she thought, knowing that she was going to look a bedraggled mess by the time she walked up the hill to her sister’s house. Her pace quickened, and it was a relief to arrive at Osward Road. She let herself in, knowing that at this time of day the place would be empty. The kids would be at school, and Jenny and Craig at work, but she couldn’t wait to see the look on their faces when they arrived home to find her there.
Gloria closed the street door behind her and turned, nearly jumping out of her skin when she saw Jenny standing in the hallway. ‘Blimey, Jen, you nearly gave me a heart attack.’
‘I heard someone coming in. I didn’t mean to startle you.’
Jenny looked awful, her hair a greasy mess. Gloria frowned. Jenny’s clothes were scruffy too and looked unwashed. She’d expected to be greeted with open arms and big smiles, but instead her sister looked terrible, miserable, her eyes dark-rimmed. ‘You look awful. What’s wrong? You’re not ill, are you? Not the day before your wedding!’
‘There isn’t going to be a wedding,’ Jenny said disconsolately and then turned to walk into the kitchen.
Gloria followed her, and asked, ‘Why not? Surely Craig hasn’t dumped you.’
Jenny slumped onto a chair at the table, her eyes pools of pain as she looked up at her. ‘He’s dead, Gloria. Craig was killed in a terrible accident at work.’
Gloria felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. This couldn’t be right, not Craig, he was such a good man. She pulled out a chair and sat opposite her sister, then reached across the table to take Jenny’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea.’
‘I didn’t know how to get in touch with you, so we had to go ahead and make the arra
ngements.’
‘When did this happen?’
‘Not last Tuesday, the one before. We buried him on Monday. It was only a small funeral, just a few of us there. To be honest, it’s all a bit of a blur.’
‘I should have been here for you,’ Gloria said, cursing that she hadn’t left Jenny her address when she moved to Holborn. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘You weren’t to know.’
‘How have the others been?’ Gloria asked, aware how much Pamela and her little brothers adored Craig.
‘Hard to say. Timmy and Peter were upset at first, but they seem to be getting over it. Pamela’s still very quiet, but we don’t really talk about it.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘No, not really. The wedding service has been cancelled, the kids are at school, and with rent to pay I’ve got to go back to work on Monday. Oh, Gloria, it seems wrong that life just carries on … but … but I miss Craig so much.’
Tears began to run down Jenny’s face and, judging by the puffiness of her eyes, Gloria could see she’d done a lot of crying. ‘I don’t know what to say. I wish I could make it better for you.’
‘There’s nothing anyone can say. It hurts too much, but I’m hoping work will be a distraction. Somehow I doubt it, but we need my wages.’
‘I suppose you’re fighting to put on a front for Pam and the boys too.’
‘Yes, but it’s so hard.’
‘I can stay for a couple of days, and I’ll do what I can to help you,’ Gloria said, though in truth she felt helpless in the face of so much grief.
Jenny wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, then pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve to blow her nose. It was awful to see her sister in this state, especially as Jenny had always been the strong one. Gloria bit her lower lip. She would do what she could, but she had to leave on Monday morning to get back to Holborn.
The thought of leaving her family while they were grieving made Gloria feel a bit guilty, but, she reasoned, Jenny said she was going back to work on Monday, so she wouldn’t really be needed. Thank goodness, she thought, because she didn’t want their unhappiness to rub off on her.
Edith was surprised to see Lizzie and frowned, wondering if yet another man had thrown her out.
‘Hello, Mum. It’s raining cats and dogs out there. I’m wet through but had to come. I was in the hairdresser’s and heard something worrying.’
Edith drew in a breath, dreading having to talk about Craig’s death and the circumstances again. Brusquely she said, ‘If it’s about Craig, yes, he’s dead.’
‘Oh my God, so it’s true! Poor Jenny, how awful for her. She was supposed to be getting married tomorrow too. How is she?’
‘As you’d expect, not great.’
‘I should be there for her. She’ll be needing me.’
‘You’re a bit bloody late. Craig’s been buried since Monday.’
‘If I’d known, I’d have been there. Give me her address, Mum, and I’ll go to see her now.’
‘The last thing that girl needs now is you turning up. She’s got enough to deal with without you upsetting her and the kids again.’
‘I don’t know why you think seeing me upsets them all so much.’
Edith shook her head in disbelief. She thought she’d raised her daughter well, but when she’d abandoned her kids, Edith had realised that Lizzie was a bad apple. ‘I don’t think you seeing your kids upsets them … I know it does because I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Granted, the boys especially love you, of course they do, ’cos you’re their mother, but when you come and go like you do it confuses them. Every time you turn up they think you’re going to stay, but you don’t and when you leave they’re hurt all over again. They need a full-time mum, not one who keeps disappearing from their lives.’
‘Mum, I don’t need you nagging me again. I know I’m not much of a mother, but regardless of what happened in the past I’m here now, and I want to comfort Jenny.’
‘She’s very fragile at the moment, and if you upset her it could tip her over the edge.’
‘I won’t, Mum, I just want to be there for my girl.’
Edith wasn’t convinced, but Lizzie seemed adamant. She’d have liked to check up on Jenny herself, but her hips were so bad she couldn’t manage to get to Osward Road.
‘All right, I’ll give you her address on one condition … don’t be there when the kids get home from school, and come back here to let me know how she is.’
‘That’s two conditions,’ Lizzie said with a smile.
‘This is serious, and I don’t appreciate you being flippant. I mean it, Lizzie, you’ll only be able to stay there for two hours and then I’ll expect you back here. And go gently with Jenny.’
‘What do you take me for? Of course I will.’
Edith scowled. She could have torn strips off Lizzie for pinching money out of her purse when she’d buggered off, the thieving madam, but with all that had happened since, it hardly seemed important now. Lizzie’s father had been a thief, and though she’d endeavoured to keep it secret from her daughter, it seemed Lizzie was following in his footsteps.
She prayed she wasn’t making a mistake as she scribbled down Jenny’s address, hoping that, despite her reservations, Lizzie really could comfort her daughter.
Henry had been into Bernie’s Café and was now headed for the Bedford pub. He didn’t really relish the thought of beer after the skinful he’d downed the previous night, but anything was better than going home and looking at Audrey.
‘Hello, mate,’ Ernie greeted him as he walked into the smoky room.
Ernie had started work on the dustcarts the week before and had fitted in well with the blokes, but Henry hadn’t had a proper chance to get to know him yet. ‘Do you want another in there?’ Henry asked, pointing to the dregs in Ernie’s pint.
‘Yeah, go on then. I told her indoors I’d only be having the one, but me boy has got a load of his mates round for his birthday. Cor, you wanna hear the racket. I didn’t realise a bunch of seven-year-olds could make so much noise.’
‘Two pints, please,’ Henry said to the barmaid he’d been gaping at.
‘Is this your local then?’ Ernie asked.
‘This and every other pub in Balham.’
‘I’d better get moving after this one,’ Ernie said after taking a swig of beer. ‘My missus is about to drop her fourth kid, so I’d best get back to help her clear up after the party.’
‘You’re catching me up. I’ve got five.’
‘Yeah, I heard. I think my Linda is friends with your Pamela.’
‘Is she? I don’t see much of ’em these days, you know how it is.’
Ernie belched before saying, ‘Yeah, Ray was telling me. Sorry about that, mate.’
‘Can’t be helped, it’s one of those things.’
‘Shame about your eldest though. It was supposed to be her wedding day tomorrow, but that’s not going to happen now.’
Henry had heard about Craig’s death – most of Balham had been talking about the tragic accident – but this other bit of information was new to him and he asked, ‘What’s this about her wedding day?’
‘From what I’ve been told it was all planned. They were all set to be getting married, but then Craig went and got himself killed. My Linda said Pamela is devastated, so I can’t imagine how your eldest must be feeling.’
Henry hadn’t really wanted the beer in the first place, but now he’d gone right off it. He hadn’t had an invite so had no idea that the wedding had been planned so soon. He’d given her a bit of a hiding and she’d taken the kids away, probably to punish him, but until now he hadn’t realised that her hatred for him went so deep.
When he’d heard about Craig, he’d considered going to visit to offer his condolences but thought better of it. After all, the last time he’d seen the bloke they hadn’t exchanged pleasantries and he suspected that Jenny would slam the door in his face.
Now, though, it was different. It was
bad enough that she’d lost Craig, but to have to cancel the wedding was an added blow. They’d had their differences, but he had to admit that Jenny had been like a mother to the kids when Lizzie had left. Huh, Lizzie – it was unlikely she’d be supporting the girl, and he doubted Edith was well enough to be there.
Henry frowned. He didn’t suppose that Jenny was in any fit state to look after the kids now. He drew back his shoulders. It was his responsibility as their father to step up and until Jenny was well enough to take over the reins again, they’d just have to put their differences aside.
Chapter 24
Jenny woke up late the following morning to find the sun beaming through a crack in the curtains. She was pleased it had finally stopped raining and thought it would be a nice day to take the boys over the common. Then she remembered. Craig was dead, and her body jolted at the realisation. It was the same every morning. Those first few moments of waking seemed normal until her brain caught up and she’d remember the harrowing truth.
To make matters worse, today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. ‘Oh, Craig … I miss you so much,’ she whispered as she stifled a sob.
It had been a long night for her. She’d laid awake for most of it, crying silent tears, and now felt exhausted. She closed her eyes, escaping into sleep again, and woke much later to see that her sisters’ beds were empty.
Jenny knew she should get up, but all she wanted to do was to curl up in a ball under her covers and cry in anguish. There would be no wedding, she would never be Craig’s wife and it was more than she could bear.
Downstairs and out of Jenny’s hearing, Gloria asked, ‘Pam, can you believe Mum’s audacity?’
They were talking in the kitchen, whilst their brothers played in the back garden. ‘I’m glad I’d taken the boys out to give Jenny a bit of peace and quiet, so we didn’t see her,’ Pamela replied, elbow deep in soapy suds in the sink.
‘She rabbited on about how sorry she was, and what a tragedy it was, but then started harping on about how upset she’d been at not being invited to the wedding. Honestly, that woman doesn’t have a sensitive bone in her body! I got rid of her as soon as I could.’