And it had all left her confused, her thoughts and feelings twisted and tangled to the point that she hadn’t known what was happening to her or what it all meant. She still didn’t. But now, suddenly, she was tired of trying to figure it out. Most of all, however, she was tired of fighting her feelings.
Just this once, she wanted to make love with Colin. And she wanted to do it now, on this magic night, while the trade winds blew over them.
She pulled herself out of his arms and looked up at him. In his eyes she could see the same heat that she felt inside her. She had seen that same heat before. She had also witnessed his control and the way he could pull himself back from the precipice without taking that one tiny step too far that would have them both falling over the edge and into full-scale passion.
So this time, before he had time to think of all the reasons they should rein in their feelings and say good-night, she grasped his hand and wordlessly began to draw him toward her door.
With each step she took, she expected him to pull her to a halt, but miraculously it didn’t happen. She wondered what he was thinking, feeling, but she wouldn’t let herself look back at him. She didn’t want to chance seeing doubt or wariness or any other negative emotion. Not tonight, when she knew so clearly what she wanted. She continued to her room, through the doors and to the side of her bed.
Liana or her mother had already turned down the covers and turned on the nightstand lamp. A small bowl of freshly cut hibiscus that matched the one in her hair sat beneath it. The lamp’s pale golden light lit a portion of the bed. The only other light came from the spill of moonlight through the open doors.
It was more than enough. If she had been blind, she would still have been able to sense Colin if he had been anywhere in the room. His presence disturbed the molecules of the otherwise peaceful atmosphere, threatening to set it on fire; his body heat reached out and wrapped around her; his musky male scent invaded her every pore.
She released his hand, and still without looking at him, she reached behind her back to unzip her dress.
His hand closed over hers and the zipper tab. “Look at me, Jill.”
She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see his calm visage or hear his rational words.
“Look at me,” he said, this time his voice hoarse with emotion.
She exhaled a trembling breath. Reluctantly she turned and gazed up at him. His eyes were darker than she had ever seen them, and his face was tight, the muscles in his neck rigid. “Are you sure?”
She could hardly believe it. He wasn’t telling her he didn’t want to make love to her. Instead, he was thinking of her, leaving the decision up to her without trying to influence her more than he already had.
“Oh, yes.” Her eyes moistened with emotion; her words sounded barely above a whisper. “I’m very sure.”
He didn’t ask another question or give her a chance to say another word. Before she knew it, he had unzipped her dress and pulled it down her body. She stepped out of it, and at the same time her trembling fingers attempted to unbutton his shirt. He pushed her hand aside and quickly did the job.
“Get in bed.”
His intensity and desire were suddenly coming at her in pounding waves, and it dawned on her just how much control he had actually been exerting the past few days.
She kicked off her shoes and did as he said. Once on the bed, she used her feet to push the covers down to the end, then lifted her hips and slipped off her panties.
Colin came down to her, naked and with every muscle in his body hard. He eased himself on top of her, opening her legs with his, then positioning himself.
Her heart hammered with excitement and anticipation, so hard it felt as if her ribs might break. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew there were bound to be consequences for stealing these moments out of time with Colin and for taking what she wanted, what they both wanted. But she had never felt like this before and probably never would again. And for this one time, this one night, if there was a piper to pay, she gladly would.
“Colin.” It was a whisper. It was a scream. She wasn’t certain which, because above all it was a demand.
His mouth crushed hers, and his tongue thrust deep. She wrapped her arms around his neck, then slid her palms down his back, relishing the feel of the rippling muscles beneath his bare skin that, before now, she had only seen. He closed a hand over her breast and roughly kneaded her flesh, taking her beyond reason and into the realm of heat, haze and animalistic urges and cravings.
She moved restlessly beneath him, her hands covering every inch of him she could reach. She had never been to this place before, where she had absolutely no control over her body, nor did she want any. The kisses and touches had taken her close. The dancing at the blues club, along with the application of the sunscreen, had brought her even closer. But none of them had brought her to the point where she was now.
To be kissed without restraint and touched in a wild urgency of need was incredible, amazing, wonderful. But she wanted more. She wanted Colin inside her so badly and with such violence that if someone had happened to walk in the door and tried to interrupt them, she would have been beyond caring.
And she wasn’t afraid. If she had learned nothing else on this island, she had learned that letting herself go was okay and that, no matter what happened, Colin would keep her safe.
She made a sound of frustration and arched against him, convinced she would shatter if she couldn’t have him soon. She turned her head, tearing her mouth from his, but she didn’t have time to say anything.
“I should go slower,” he muttered harshly. “I’ve wanted this so…”
He entered her with one violent push and buried his thick, long length completely inside her. She caught her breath as sharp, exquisite pleasure jolted through her. Then again. And again. And again.
And then she didn’t have time to consciously breathe anymore. He began to slam into her, time after time, and with such ferocity that the bed shook and her body was jarred. But she met his every thrust with her own, lifting her hips to take him more deeply into her. She felt possessed, like a wild woman who couldn’t get enough of him.
She was on fire. Her blood was boiling. Her nerve endings were being scraped with a hot, soothing, stimulating, liquid ecstasy. He entwined his hands with hers and pressed them back on either side of her head. She looked up at him and saw that his eyes were almost black, his expression pure male aggression.
She had never known she would love the powerful, sexual mastery of a man. She had never even known such rapture could exist between a man and a woman. She wasn’t even sure what was coming next, but she could feel her body readying.
Unbearable, sweet, hot pressure was building inside her. She tightened her grip on his hands and, with tears streaming down her face, bucked beneath him. He bent his head and drove his tongue deeply and roughly into her mouth, taking her there in the exact same fast, exhilarating, jackhammer rhythm he was using to drive into her.
Suddenly overpowering sensations gripped her. She arched her upper back off the bed and came apart, climaxing with a loud cry as she was carried away on waves of pleasure so large, so intense and so incredible, she could only go with them. Seconds later, Colin’s entire body stiffened and he followed her as a deep, hoarse growl came up out of his being, carrying the sound of her name with it.
He had blown it.
Colin cradled Jill against him with her head resting on his shoulder. Tenderly he brushed tendrils of damp, dark hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed, and she was as still and limp as a rag doll.
As for himself, his heartbeat had yet to return to normal.
What was he going to do now?
The plan had been to get her away from her everyday life and pressures, so that here on the island, with its slower way of living, she would have very little to focus on but him. In this environment, he had hoped she would relax and get to know him as a person, rather than as someone to banter with at parties or
, conversely, ignore.
Well, she had certainly gotten to know him, he thought grimly. The problem was, things had happened out of order.
His first objective, actually his only objective, had been to make her fall in love with him.
He had never thought it would happen over these few days. But he had thought, hoped—God he’d prayed—it would give him, at the very least, a niche in her life and, at most, a solid foundation on which the two of them could build a deep and lasting relationship.
He loved her. He had known it since the day he had figured out why he had initially been so attracted to her. She didn’t know it, but her scars and his were the same. And her wants and his were also the same.
She had never had a family, not in the real sense of the word, and though she might not consciously consider that a loss, the scars had been there that night for him to see, to recognize, to feel. And he had seen something else, too. Deep down, in a part of her soul that she had done her best to seal off long ago, when she had lost her mother and her father had taken over her raising, she wanted one.
He, on the other hand, had had a family—no one could have had a better one—but he had lost them. And ever since, he had wanted a new one, one of his own making. But until that night, when for an instant something had opened up inside her that had allowed him to see into her soul, he hadn’t known with whom he wanted to make that family.
But because of what had just happened between them, they both could be doomed never to have one, at least, not the kind they both wanted. He was convinced they could only have that with each other. For once in his life, though, he hadn’t been patient. During the past few days, despite his best intentions, he had rushed and overwhelmed her.
She moved against him; her hand slipped onto his chest, and he felt his loins stir. Closing his eyes, he gritted his teeth. He could take her again, right now, but making love to her a second time would only compound his error—or much worse, since he doubted he would be able to stop at twice.
He had purposely set out to make the night a romantic one, including the dance. But as the dance had continued, he had instinctively drawn her closer. When it came to her, he had so little willpower it scared him to death.
And when she had pulled away, taken his hand and drawn him into her bedroom, his brain had started to shut down. Saying no to her would have been a near impossibility. He didn’t even know where he had gotten the strength to ask if that was what she really wanted. But when she had said yes, it would have taken the end of the world to stop him from taking her.
Still, he had been too rough, too quick. Their first time should have been different, yet looking back on it, he didn’t know how it could have been. Quite simply, he had been starved for her.
How was he going to turn things back around when he still wanted her so badly he was in danger of exploding?
She moved, rubbing her cheek on his shoulder, and one leg found its way over his.
“Jill?” he murmured, despite himself, kissing the top of her head.
“Mmm?” Her foot flexed and rubbed against his shin. Her hand slid through the curls of his chest hair over to his nipple.
He groaned and put his hand over hers to still it. “Are you all right?”
“Uh-huh.”
Beneath his hand, her fingers slid back and forth over his nipple. This time he firmly clasped her hand and rolled over on top of her. Her hair lay in a tousled mass around her head; her lips were red and swollen, her lids half-closed, her eyes drowsy with sensual lethargy.
“I better warn you,” he said, his teeth gritted, his control held by a slender thread, “you keep that up and I’ll be so deep inside you again, so fast and so hard, you won’t know what hit you.”
She slid her hand up the side of his face and parted her legs. “I’ll know.”
Without another word he drew his buttocks back and once again drove into her, hard, fast and without mercy. A powerful, white-hot passion held him in its grip. Sanity had been stripped from him. Beneath him, willing and hot, she writhed and strained. He slammed into her time and again, taking them both higher and higher, then clung to her as he soared with her to a pinnacle of ecstasy he had never known before.
After that, he knew there was no way he could stop. He might have only this one night with her to last the rest of his life, and he planned to make the most of it. Actually, there was nothing else he could do. He was like an addict who had gotten a taste of a drug and now couldn’t do without it.
The next time he pulled her to him and entered her, he extended the lovemaking as long as he could bear. By now, he knew just how sensitive she was and that, at times, he only had to touch her in a certain way to make her climax.
Gently, slowly, he stroked in and out of her pulsating velvet flesh. At the same time, he stroked his hand up and down her side, stopping occasionally to tweak her nipple and lightly massage her breast. Soon she was trembling and clawing at his back for completion. Then he slowly withdrew from her and rested his hard sex on her lower abdomen.
It was torture for him, but it was the sweetest kind, watching her face react to everything he did. He spent a lot of time nibbling at her nipple, pulling it into his mouth, then scraping his tongue back and forth across it until she softly cried and said his name over and over. Then he switched to the other.
In the next moment Jill did something he hadn’t even considered. She took control, reached for him, shifted, and just like that he was inside her again. She arched and writhed against him, high and hard. He lost his control, his mind, pounding into her until seconds later he felt the tight squeezing of her inner contractions. And as she bowed her upper back off the bed, he heard the soft, wild cry he had come to love. Then he exploded into her and everything faded to black.
The dawn was everything she had expected it to be, Jill reflected, standing in the doorway of her bedroom, watching the blues and roses shift across the sky, the dark waters of the sea gradually lighten to purple and indigo. Just for a moment she allowed herself the luxury of lifting her face to the morning trade winds. They wound their way through her hair, wet from a shower, and moved over her freshly moisturized skin.
She threw a quick glance over her shoulder at Colin. He was still sleeping. Under any other circumstances, she probably would be, too. This morning, however, she had too much on her mind.
She had known what she was doing last night when she had taken his hand. Every bit of what had followed had been her fault. She had told herself that she wanted to make love to Colin just once, and she had. She should have been satisfied with that once, but she hadn’t been. She had been greedy, hungry, and had practically made him continue.
Granted, it hadn’t taken much encouragement, but then, he was a man, and as she had noted before, if a woman shows herself to be willing, a man doesn’t need any more motivation. But to give Colin his due, up to that point, he had shown remarkable restraint, considering the job he had set out to do.
No, it was her fault. She didn’t regret it, but she also couldn’t be more embarrassed about it. If there was a way she could get off this island by herself before he awoke, she probably would. As it was, she didn’t know how she was going to meet his eyes.
And the ultimate irony? She had come to the island to give herself time to figure out all the changes that were happening inside her. At one point yesterday, she thought she had figured it out. But after last night, she was more confused than she had been when she arrived.
Making love to Colin had shaken her world apart, and she wasn’t certain it could ever be put back together again—at least, not in the way it had been.
“What are you doing up so early?”
Her heart gave a hard thud at the sound of his sleepy voice. Would there ever come a day when her heart wouldn’t react in that way to him? Would there ever come a night when she could look across a crowded room without wanting him?
“You were right,” she said, without turning to look at him.
“About w
hat?” He sounded irritated, grumpy, not fully awake yet.
“The dawn. It’s spectacular.”
She heard his heavy exhalation of breath, then movement, as if he was rearranging pillows.
“What are you doing up, Jill? You can’t have gotten enough rest. And why the hell are you dressed?”
After her shower, she had slipped on the pair of slacks and plain white T-shirt she had worn on the flight here. “I think it’s time I left. You can stay if you like, and I’ll hire a charter from one of the bigger islands.”
Behind her, he swore, then more movement. Her blood started racing as she realized he was getting out of bed.
“Jill …”
He was coming toward her. She stepped out onto the terrace and glanced in the direction of the other end. “The table is already made up, and there’s a carafe of coffee out. I think I’ll go have a cup while you dress.”
“Jill, come back. We need to talk.”
She turned and looked at him. He was standing in the doorway, a sheet wrapped around his waist. His hair was a complete mess, more so than usual, and his face sported a night’s growth of beard. His eyes were even red and blurry. Yet she didn’t think she had ever seen him look as devastatingly handsome as he did right then. “I don’t think so.” Quickly she walked away.
Showered, shaved and dressed, Colin joined Jill on the terrace. Without looking at him, she broke apart a croissant. “Liana and her mother are wonderful. They didn’t really expect us to be up this early, but they had these ready just the same.”
“I don’t want you to leave, Jill.”
Carefully she spread guava jelly on the croissant. “I know I haven’t had my final snorkeling lesson, but after my lesson in the pool, I’m sure I could manage in the sea if I decide I’d like to do more of it.”
“I couldn’t care less about the snorkeling. Let’s talk about the real reason you want to leave—what happened last night.”
“Last night has nothing to do with why I want to leave.” She had never known she could be such a good liar. She had never known her heart could hurt this much without breaking. “And there’s really nothing more that we need to talk about. You’ve done a great job with all the lessons, but—”
The Barons of Texas: Jill Page 13