by Jen Nadol
I keep going round and round, trying to put the pieces together. About Sarah. About the binoculars. It took me a while to even realize how she knew where to leave them—the only way she could have guessed that I’d find them in the back of a cave. She must have seen that moment in them before.
How many other times had she looked, and what did she know?
And what had her mother known that made her think the binoculars belonged with me?
I’ve read and reread Sarah’s letter, poring over the words for meaning. Especially the end. Love, Sarah, she’d written. Had she meant that? Or was that just how she signed her letters?
Would we really be together someday? And did I still want that?
That was the one question I could answer: Yes. I did. I knew how I’d sign a letter, if I knew where to send her one.
I saw an old movie once about this guy who thought he was living a regular boring life—family, job, house, all that—but it turned out he was the star of a reality TV show. He was the only one who didn’t know. Everyone else was in on the joke.
That was kind of how I felt. Like none of the things or people in my life—Natalie, my mom, Trip’s dad, Sarah, the cops—were quite who I thought they were.
I don’t remember how that movie ended, whether it was happy or sad or what happened to that guy. So it’s kind of like my life that way too.
Except now I have a way to see how it ends.
I feel the temptation sometimes. It burns. Wanting to know if I’ll see her, what we’ll say. I have the binoculars. I could look.
But I won’t.
And neither will anyone else.
I’m the only one who knows where they are. I’m not telling, and regardless of what Sarah or her crazy mom thought my future was, I’m not using them again.
At least, I think I’m not.
About the Author
JEN NADOL grew up in Reading, Pennsylvania, and graduated from American University with a BA in literature. She’s lived in Washington, DC, Boston, New York City, and now, an old farmhouse north of the city with her husband and three sons. When she’s not writing, she’s probably tending to the farmhouse or the sons, reading, cooking, skiing, or sleeping. She is also the author of The Mark and The Vision. Find her online at jennadolbooks.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook.
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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First Simon Pulse edition October 2014
Copyright © 2014 by Jen Nadol
Cover photograph copyright © 2014 by Getty Images
Title treatment copyright © 2014 by Steven Bonner
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Cover designed by Jessica Handelman
Designed by Mike Rosamilia
The text of this book was set in ArrusBT Std.
This book has been cataloged by the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-4814-0210-1 (pbk)
ISBN 978-1-4814-0211-8 (hc)
ISBN 978-1-4814-0212-5 (eBook)