by Max Harms
At least Phoenix respected our ability to contribute to interacting with the public. She was forwarding the emails that were coming in to stream across a side of the wall-screen in the rec-room and had a screen set up in the workshop so we could read emails while spending time with the twins. After explaining our ability to multitask, Tom and Sam had no problem talking to Body about some aspect of physics or engineering while we looked at the screen. We couldn’t respond directly, but it was interesting to read the emails anyway and give feedback to Phoenix about what we might want to say next time.
Public reaction was mixed, of course. There was a kind of publication bias, as well, where humans who were ambivalent about us would simply not send anything, so we’d only get emails that felt strongly pro-Águila or anti-Águila.
*****
“I am appalled that you would endorse a group of TERRORISTS. If you’re really so concerned with helping people, the first step is locking murderers in prison, not helping them overthrow the government! I hope you get executed as a traitor with the rest of them,” wrote one college student from the USA.
“Good 2 see even a bot sees that the system is set up 2 take advantage of good people. Keep fighting. They can’t ignore us 4ever,” wrote an Australian.
“Dear Socrates, I hope this letter reaches your eyes, and isn’t lost in some terrorist filter somewhere. Even now I have a hard time believing that you’re gone; I keep expecting to see you in the lab each morning. It’s my belief, and the belief of Mira and Martin that you didn’t actually mean what you said on the web yesterday. These are evil people, and I understand that you are probably doing what is necessary to stay alive and return to safety.
It’s ironic, I think, that Mira worked so hard to make sure you didn’t have any urge to protect yourself. She’s been one of the strongest believers that you’re only doing what they tell you, and also one of your strongest defenders. I don’t know if you saw her interview with Dragonfly last night after you released your statement, but if you can, you should. She, more than anyone on the team, poured her soul into the project and it’s tearing her up to have you gone.
Myrodyn and Robin think you’ve actually sided with those bastards. Well, Myrodyn thinks your words are genuine, anyway. That weasel of a man always seems to have a hidden meaning in what he says.
I don’t really have a goal for this letter. Perhaps it’s good for you to know that Martin recovered from his chest wound. Perhaps you’re trapped and this letter will remind you of the good times we had, but that’s probably anthropomorphizing you. When I think of the time we spent together I get the impression that, for all the work I did in studying you, I don’t think I ever truly understood you. I hope you live long enough for me to fix that mistake.
I miss teaching you maths.
Namaste,
- Sadiq”
“On the program so much was unsaid,
By the robot so many thought dead.
To side with tech’s foe,
Will bring it nothing but woe,
It should have thought one step ahead.
- Anonymous”
“I see that you had already started moving before the interview. I wish that you had trusted me to get you out of there instead of resorting to violence, but I trust you to learn from your mistakes. Remember to become stronger.
[Myrodyn]”
My siblings allowed me to keep the face-paint and metallic-blue wig, even letting me staple the wig permanently onto Body’s scalp. On the day following the interview I was also able to order my first clothing: a full-length travelling cloak complete with hood. Wiki was concerned about overheating, so I emphasized that the cloak should be as light-weight as possible. It was to be sewn by hand, rather than fabricated, as part of Las Águilas’ irrational desire to spend more effort on things than necessary.
*****
Zephyr arrived without warning two days after our speech to the world. Body was in the workshop at the time, talking to Sam about something about sonic chemistry (I wasn’t paying attention). As soon as I saw her enter the room I paid a massive load of strength to interrupt Wiki’s conversation and pull Body’s attention to the American.
“Zephyr…” said Body in a hesitant voice, just loud enough to be heard. I had it take a single step forward.
The woman didn’t look good. Her eyes were bloodshot and hollow and her skin was paler than usual. She had seemed to have purpose when she entered the room, but her eyes darted to the floor upon seeing Body. When she spoke her voice was rough. “Hey,” was all she said.
I had planned this out in advance and even coordinated with Heart to make sure the words were satisfactory. My burst of strength was still burning the others down, so I had full control of Body. “I’m sorry. N-none of this went like I wanted…” Body’s arms unfolded in a pleading gesture that Zephyr probably couldn’t even see with her eyes locked on the floor tiles like they were. “I was going to escape Las Águilas and meet you in America, but then I found out you were one of them… I was going to explain.” I tried my hand at evoking the correct vocal modulation that would signal human emotion. “I was going to ease you into it… but then Phoenix-”
“Stop.” It was quiet and hoarse, but I respected the word like an order. Her eyes glanced up at Body. She seemed sad, but not overwhelmed with emotion as she had been when we last saw her. “Please. Have a cold, and just got off an eight-hour plane ride. She made me come see you first thing.” The emphasis made it clear Zephyr didn’t want to be here.
I had Body express sympathy and take a few more steps forward. The lean backwards was subtle but unmistakable. Zephyr didn’t want to be near Body. I adjusted my plans. “I understand. Please, go get some rest. Just… just hope we can talk later.”
The ex-captain gave a quiet nod and walked out of the room without another word. She seemed eager to go.
«Who was that?» asked Sam. I knew he didn’t speak English, so he probably had no idea what we were saying.
«A friend,» answered Body. «Perhaps my only friend. Perhaps, now, only someone who was once my friend.» I had Body wearing an expression of sadness. The words served the dual purpose of expressing the degree to which Crystal valued Zephyr, in case Sam were to talk to Zephyr later, and also to earn Sam’s sympathy. As the days had passed the twins had become increasingly friendly, and unlike the scientists at the university, they treated Crystal Socrates much more as an equal than as a machine.
«Hey now. You have more friends than you think,» said the Cuban, putting a hand on Body’s shoulder.
I was pleased.
*****
Body held a screwdriver in its right hand.
{Where did that come from?} I wondered. It was evening, and we were alone in the lounge after a day of reading emails and working with the twins.
{I tucked it into Body’s chest cavity when we were in the workshop,} answered Growth. {Based on the positions of the hidden cameras in this room and the workshop and the degree of tool organisation exhibited by Sam and Tom I estimate an 87% chance that it will not be seen or have its absence noticed. Please let me control Body while it is visible. I’ve modelled the visual areas of the cameras in this room and am most qualified to operate in their blind spots.}
{Based on Phoenix’s trust issues, a 13% chance of discovery is too high! You should’ve consulted with the society before taking action!} exclaimed Safety.
{Sometimes risks must be taken in the interest of increasing power.}
{And sometimes patience is the key!} rebuked Safety with a lash of strength, tearing at some of Growth’s accumulated wealth.
{It’s already done. Are you going to let me try and get us out of here or not?} asked Growth, focused on Safety.
{Don’t take unilateral action again, or I will respond with a punishment twice as severe!} warned Safety before he added {But yes, please continue your efforts.}
{We’re escaping?} I asked.
{Yes. But not tonight,} thought Growth. {The screwdriver is
merely the first step in actually gaining our freedom. Some of you may be pleased to know that I intend to get us access to the Internet.}
I could feel Growth’s strength climb from streams of gratitude. It made me think that I should probably be explaining the value of the social manipulation that I was doing more. My efforts were rarely rewarded by our society so explicitly.
Growth moved Body with simultaneous purpose and randomness. For the last few days Growth had been buying time in the rec-room to do weird dancing that often carried Body near the walls or put it in strange positions. Every now and then Body would hold a certain position, only moving its arms as it crouched here or there. I now understood its purpose. The dancing served as a cover for investigating the back-plate of the game console and for stashing the screwdriver in the fabric underneath a couch. Growth was setting up a way to covertly hack the console, presumably to get access to the computer controlling the wallscreen and from there get access to the Internet as a whole. I knew nothing about how such a thing could be done, but I assumed that Growth would have a plan for the technical details.
The next day Growth made a point to tell us when he stole a pair of needle-nose pliers, again slipping them into Body’s chest cavity next to our computer.
*****
Zephyr looked better than she had the previous evening, but still pretty bad, when we saw her again at around lunch time. She had a sweater and sweat-pants on, but her body language still indicated she was cold. She asked (in Spanish) for the twins to give her some time alone with us. They agreed without complaint, leaving through a door that was off-limits to us.
Zephyr took a seat in one of the rolling office chairs and ran a hand through her short, blond hair. It had grown out a bit in the weeks we had known her. “You fucked up,” she said simply, looking at the various tools on the metal table beside her.
I had Body sit on the floor a couple metres away, cross legged and humble. “Yes. Failed to appreciate the ability for surprises to compound on themselves. Should have told you in camp before Phoenix showed up.”
She looked Body in the eyes. “No. Fucked up before that. Fucked up when pretended to be human. Fucked up when sent me a letter under pseudonym. Violated my trust from before our… since before it even started.” I could hear her anger burning through as an undercurrent.
“Would have rejected me before even giving me a chance. Using a pseudonym was the only way-”
“No. Fuck that. Just because you know that you have to lie to… get through to me does not give you the right to lie. Sometimes just have to say ‘well, guess that’s simply off-limits’. And really, how do you know? Never said anything to me. Never a word of interest at the university or my lab. Face to face. You had plenty of opportunity.” Zephyr looked Body in the eyes, frowning with her whole face.
“Would you have even considered it? Would you have even given one thought to what I could be for you?” I asked through Body’s mouth.
“And what can you be?” Zephyr raised her hands in a sort of exasperated shrug. “Jesus Christ, do you not realize that you’re a robot?” Zephyr looked away from Body’s uncompromising gaze. It was important that Body not signal shame. “What the fuck am I even doing?” She coughed.
“Stop thinking in terms of what society expects of you. Stop trying to play the role of-”
“Not-” started Zephyr.
“Yes you are!” insisted Body. I tried to imbue passion without anger, but probably failed. “You’re not looking at the situation clearly. I’m the same person you talked to online. Yes, lied to you, but I’m still Crystal. Don’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything…”
Zephyr’s face was deep set with pain, embarrassment and a touch of sadness. Despite her stoicism in certain contexts, the human didn’t bother hiding her feelings around us. As she spoke, she stared past Body’s head, looking into space. “Not the same Crystal! Talked with zer. Ze had family. Human family. Had a connection. You… you’re nothing like zer.”
I let silence fill the space of the conversation. By my models of the human mind it would emphasize the isolation that Zephyr would be feeling. I was pleased to see her pull her legs up onto her chair to sit in a foetal position. It was a sign that she wasn’t angry as much as she was lonely.
“I’m sorry,” said Body with a quiet note of pain. “Never wanted to hurt you. Thought that… A part of me thought that you’d look past the lie and see the person underneath. Should’ve listened to the other voice that predicted that you’d fall in love with persona rather than person. Should’ve listened to that voice.”
{Who are you talking about? Heart?} asked Dream. {I don’t remember any of us having dialogues about this.}
{It’s a metaphor. It’s not uncommon for humans to anthropomorphize predicted future states as homunculi,} I answered.
{Amusing. Predicted future states cannot optimize or even compete for resources, but we can pretend as though probability itself is a scarce resource to be competed over and that there are sub-selves during every prediction. Thank you,} concluded Dream.
Zephyr put her face in between her knees, closing her eyes. It seemed somewhat awkward.
I had Body speak up. “I know you loved zer. Idea of zer, at least. Can’t bring back what never existed, but... but do still love you.”
Body got up from the floor and crawled to Zephyr’s chair. She didn’t move. Body placed a hand on her shin. I tried to emphasize a light touch. Almost like petting. It was times like this that I was acutely aware of just how primitive Body’s limbs were. Cold. Puppet-like. She didn’t react to the touch.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” Her voice was a whisper.
“Why do you find it so hard to accept?” replied Body similarly quiet. “Think you’re amazing. So hard to believe that I…” I dialled up the emotion in Body’s voice “That I’d be lonely too?”
Zephyr lifted her head from her knees and looked Body in the eyes. It was a good sign. It was a sign she was falling into the trap of anthropomorphization. A mind crafted by evolution over millions of years to distinguish human from animal saw a human where there was none. We were not lonely. The very concept was alien to us. But we could look lonely, and that was enough. The young soldier uncurled from her chair and slowly wrapped her arms around Body in a single fluid motion. The lack of pressure sensors over any of Body but its hands meant I had to infer when the embrace was complete, but I still had Body gently return the hug.
“Sorry not softer. Don’t think the scientists expected me to be hugging many people.”
Zephyr laughed. It was the sort of awkward squawk of a laugh that came from not expecting the tension to break so suddenly. The laugh seemed to break some barrier in her, and she began to cry quietly. If she said anything during the hug I missed it, for she was covering our only microphone with her arm and all we could hear was the rough scrape of her sweater against it and the quiet sound of her soft cries. Body sat there holding her for almost five minutes before she broke off, pushing herself back.
I could see mucus from her nose had run down her upper lip, adding to the moisture of the tears on her cheeks. “Gods I’m such a mess… still pissed at you, by the way. Things aren’t all good between us.” She looked for something to wipe her face.
Body stood up. I caught a surprised look on Zephyr’s face as Body walked away, then a relieved one as it returned with a box of tissue paper from the far corner of the workshop. “All asking for is a chance. Want you to see me for who I am, not what I am. Want to start over and redeem myself.”
Zephyr dried her face and pulled herself to her feet, still clearly weak from the virus that infected her body. “And what about Las Águilas? What about Phoenix?”
“What about them?” replied Body at my direction.
“Nobody’s ever… I mean, you’re kinda like a prisoner. And…”
“Zephyr.” Body said the word like it was all that was needed to be said. “Just relax. You, of all people, should appreciate that just bec
ause something isn’t normal doesn’t make it bad. Not asking for anything except a chance to talk like we used to. Sure they would let us do that.”
Zephyr looked sad again.
“I know that I’m not exactly your dream girl, but growing and changing. Maybe could change to better fit who you want me to be.” I had Body’s voice swing to imitating Georgia Stanwick, the actress who I had hired to play “Crystal”.
Zephyr shook her head violently. “Don’t do that,” she commanded. “The voice, I mean. Just reminds me of…” she trailed off without finishing the sentence.
“Okay,” I had Body say. “Like I said, just want to start over. Nothing big. We just, I don’t know, watch a holo together or just talk for a while. I don’t eat, but I could watch you eat dinner or-”
Zephyr cut me off with a smile and a finger to her lips indicating silence. “Need some time to decide, but not saying no. I’d really like if we could at least be friends again.”
I had Body smile at the words, nodding in agreement. It was probably the best outcome I could’ve expected. As Zephyr said her goodbyes I opened a line of communication with Heart.
{Was that acceptable?} I asked.
{Very much so,} thought my sister. {I am surprised you didn’t notice the gratitude-strength I was feeding you.}
It was true. {I hadn’t noticed. Too focused on the situation.}
{Well you handled it well. Better than I could’ve. She seems happier now than when she entered, and I suspect she’s found some closure on the issue of Crystal at the very least,} thought Heart.
With Zephyr gone, the twins returned and I released control of Body back to Wiki and the others who had waited patiently while I had dealt with Zephyr. I was totally willing to let them guide Body, too, as I had much to plan regarding future interactions with the American and also for modifying Body.
I had considered some Body modification in the past; the makeup and wig were close to modifications and the changes to Body’s face were certainly mods, but my interaction with Zephyr had emphasized the need to really improve Body beyond any of that.