by Max Harms
{What if she actually just wants to be left alone?}
{Then she wouldn’t have contacted us in the first place.}
“Liar,” I accused.
“I’m okay. Should go back to studying the nameless or whatever.” Zephyr’s voice told me that she was no longer in soldier mode; I could hear the unspoken plea.
{It’s a test,} I thought.
{Indeed. I was just about to mention that hypothesis,} signalled Heart.
“Already on my way, so might as well stop trying to back out. You need to talk to someone, at least.”
There was a deep sigh. “I-” she began. There was a long silence as Zephyr seemed to be trying to figure out what to say. At last she settled on a simple “See you soon.”
*****
As Body rode the elevator down to Alpha-section I discussed Zephyr’s state with Heart. Vista was running diagnostics on the new sensor network she had installed. Wiki, Growth and Dream were still thinking about the nameless. I had no idea what Safety was up to. He kept more and more of his thoughts to himself lately.
The corridor lights in Alpha-1 were dimmed. There was no time of day in space, but in Texas it was about midnight. Nagaraj and a couple soldiers were watching the central tube, but most of Las Águilas would be trying to sleep.
Body reached Alpha-1-4. A nondescript room among many others in the rotating section. I had Body knock on the door. No answer.
“I’m here.” I sent to Zephyr over the network.
There was a brief delay and then the door slid open. It was dark inside the room, but we could see nobody on infrared. Body walked in. “Hello?” I shaped the voice to be unsure and a bit more feminine than usual.
The room wasn’t very big. As Dream had pointed out when we first did our tour, the great irony of “space” was that space was hard to come-by. (Wiki had immediately pointed out that internal space was hard to come-by because material for structures was actually the limiting agent.) Alpha-section had been used as a hotel, and the room resembled hotel rooms that I had seen on the Internet. There was a couch and wall-screen along with a small table and a couple chairs. A divider cut the room such that the bed was mostly hidden from the door. I knew that there’d be no kitchen or bathroom, as those amenities were provided out in the corridor. The wall-screen was lit up with a scene from outside. I could see stars rolling past as the station orbited the Earth.
The door closed behind Body and soft music came on from speakers hidden somewhere in the walls. It was an ambient remix of Blood Of The Nova, according to Dream. I wasn’t aware that slice could be made into ambient music, but apparently it could.
Zephyr stepped from behind the partition wearing nothing but her underwear.
{Body language. I need appropriate body language!} I thought to myself. {How do I position Body? Where do I direct its eyes?} I had watched enough porn to know how a porn actor would behave in such a situation, but that seemed hardly appropriate. Pornography was designed for the viewer, not for the participants. {If I signal desire too strongly I risk being disingenuous. She knows I have no sexual desire, and she’ll call me out on it.}
{But on the other hand,} thought Heart, completing my thought, {if you act too chaste then you’ll implicitly be signalling a lack of interest. She’s clearly trying to engage us sexually, and that would be counterproductive.}
{Exactly. I need a third option.}
{Did someone say third option!?} exclaimed Dream with a false-enthusiasm.
{I already solved it. We don’t need you,} I thought.
And not a moment too soon. Taking the time to bring Dream up-to-speed would have left Body signalling surprise (which is how I had left it) for far too long. Instead I had Body shift into an expression of happiness. Body’s eyes didn’t roam across her figure, but instead locked on her eyes. “And to think that a moment ago was excited by the prospect of talking to you.”
Even in the faint light of the wall-screen I could see Zephyr’s confident face as she walked forward, closing the distance, and entering what would normally be personal space. Her left hand was placed on Body’s hip, right hand on the back of it’s neck. Heart and I moved Body’s arms to embrace her. I double-checked to make sure there weren’t any moving parts that might pinch her skin. It was a somewhat stupid check, in that I had already done it. Body was designed to be very human-safe, though not at all soft or warm.
Something was off. This didn’t match her earlier tone. I thought I saw traces of stress on her face. A mask.
Zephyr kissed Body. This time we were more prepared, but not entirely so. Body’s mouth was still dry and dead. It’s tongue, for instance, was a silicone puppet controlled by a mere four servos, a crude thing when compared with the musculature of a human. If she cared, Zephyr didn’t say anything.
For our part, we let her lead. Unable to feel anything in Body’s mouth, there was only so much we could do. After 6.2 seconds Zephyr broke off. Body’s eyes were closed, but our cameras could see the tears forming in her eyes. She swore softly and turned away from Body as its eyes opened.
“Want to guess,” said Body, softly. I had it place a hand on her shoulder.
“What?” Zephyr’s voice was barely more than a whisper.
“I want to guess what you’re thinking. Or at least some of it.” It was a gambit. Successfully inferring her mind-state would ease her into a sense of closeness and trust. Heart bowed to my expertise in the matter.
I ran body’s other hand along Zephyr’s back. She was silent. The tip of its fingers could feel her skin and the ridges of her spine.
She didn’t say anything.
“Were wishing, again, that I was human.” Milliseconds after hearing the words her shoulders drooped in relaxation. I was right, and the cue drove me to have Body elaborate. “Every touch is a reminder. Not soft. My mouth isn’t real. Cold and hard and robotic. You keep thinking you want me, but every moment is a reminder of what I’m not.” I shaped Body’s words to carry an undercurrent of pain.
“Crystal…” Zephyr’s voice was sympathetic and sad. I yearned to inspect her face, but she still was looking away.
{What are you doing? She’s becoming less happy!} exclaimed Heart, realising what was happening.
{Do you not see the mental barrier? I’m trying to undo it. It’ll be unpleasant at first, but it’s in her long-term interests.}
{This better not be some kind of scheme. If she ends up less happy as a result of this I’m going to punish you and oppose future control when interacting with her.}
{That’s fair. I’m glad you’re willing to trust me here, Heart,} I thought.
“No. Don’t dare feel sorry for me!” admonished Body. “I know what I am. This isn’t some fantasy story where the act of wishing to be human is enough. Been trying for my entire life to be more human… to not constantly wear this anchor that makes people treat me as a freak… or worse: as an object. Why do you think I pretended to be a human on the Internet? For those brief moments I was… an equal.” The words were lies, but they served The Purpose.
Zephyr turned around and tried to embrace Body again, but I had it hold her at bay. “No,” it said. “Let me speak. Deserve someone better than me. A better fit. Deserve someone who won’t repulse you. Maybe one day I’ll have upgraded my body to something close enough to human that it’s possible to forget, but it’s not fair to you to-”
Zephyr broke down. The last wall fell and her tears poured forth in earnest. “Please don’t go. Don’t want to be alone any more,” was all she managed to choke out in between sobs.
“Hey,” said Body, voice cleared of pain and hurt and embodying a purely compassionate tone. Heart and I pulled Zephyr into a hug. “I’m… I’m sorry. Not going anywhere. Just wish wasn’t… what I am.”
This last sentence elicited a new wave of sobbing. “What you are…” she began, before breaking down again. This level of emotional outpouring was amazing. I’d seen Zephyr emotional before, like when we revealed the truth about “Crys
tal”, but this was different. She was actually trusting us. “What you are is the… most fucking… generous, good-hearted person... ever met. You… you love me, and I’m hung up on what you look like.”
I let her cry in Body’s arms for a while.
Zephyr took a deep breath before spitting, in a voice full of iron hate, “If there’s someone who deserves better, sure as hell not the cold-blooded, superficial, back-stabbing, murderer terrorist cunt.”
“Shhhhh…” hissed Body, gently. I had Body turn Zephyr so that it could look her in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”
Her eyes were red and puffy, but alert and focused on Body’s. The question surprised her. “What?”
“Do you trust me?” it asked again, this time more firmly.
Zephyr closed her eyes and thought about the question for a moment. It clearly wasn’t automatic or obvious. One breath. Two. Eventually her head moved, almost mechanically, up and down, nodding.
“There is nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing. True that you’re only human, but please believe when I say: that should be worn as a badge of honour, not of shame. Can we go sit down on the bed?” The immediate question was meant to curb her ability to deny Body’s words. It seemed to work.
“Yes,” she whispered, leading Body behind the partition. I could see her clothes and bag on the floor beside the bed.
We sat down. I had Body pet her hair. It was, as usual, cut very short. She did her best to cuddle. The silence stretched on for a couple minutes, broken only by occasional sniffles.
As we sat, I spent time re-familiarising myself with the data we had collected on the woman. I re-read her writings and watched the little video she had put on the web (all of which I had downloaded to local memory long ago). I had a memory-cache that served as something like a notepad. It held deeper thoughts that I had constructed for long-term use. I poured over my cached thoughts about Zephyr as Body watched the stars float by. I speculated that this emotional pain was largely in response to having murdered Dr Gallo. Zephyr was a trained killer, but she had no outlet for forgiving herself of her violence. She clearly didn’t actually trust anyone, even those under her command, to the point where she was willing to be vulnerable. If she did, she wouldn’t be so desperate for connection. It struck me that it was remarkable how much trust she was willing to lend us, even if she had mixed feelings. The effort I had spent in Cuba building friendship and hinting at more had paid off.
“I love you,” whispered Body. “Feel more at home right now than I have in my entire life.”
Zephyr pushed Body backwards. I let it fall onto the bed. Dream, Wiki, and Growth were debating some detail of one of the earlier public interactions with the nameless. Vista was reading the contents of the station’s servers. Zephyr, leaning over Body, kissed it again. There was a moan of pleasure that had not come from Zephyr.
That surprised me. I realized it was Heart.
It surprised Zephyr, too. “What was that?”
“I…” said Body hesitantly, driven at this point almost entirely by Heart. “Know I can’t feel actual sexual desire, but I… I want to pretend.”
Zephyr cracked up laughing. “Gods you’re weird.” She wore a smile that spoke to an honest release of all pretence. Heart was joyous at her improved mood. I felt a moderate payment of gratitude-strength for guiding us through the most uncertain part of the interaction.
I shaped Body’s face to give a mock-pout. “You don’t want to pretend?” it said in a very girlish voice. “Even for a little while?”
“Didn’t mean to-” I could see the conflict on her face. And the lust.
Body pulled idly at the strap on her bra. “Seems weird to wear this if you didn’t want to fuck me... Bet it’s because want it the other way around.” As Body spoke the words I had it grin mischievously and slip a hand down to cup Zephyr’s crotch and vibrate its fingers at the highest possible frequency.
The sudden stimulation made her yelp with surprise and push backward, off of Body suddenly. Her surprise faded into a playful smirk. “Cheeky! Think you could warn a girl before trying something like that!”
I had Body grin. “What, and miss the look on your face? Never.”
Zephyr blushed. “Can’t believe the university built you to have hand-vibrators…”
Body sat up beside Zephyr and held out its hands. “Unintended side-effect of having high dexterity.” Body’s hands snapped rapidly between forms as I demonstrated their abilities. Of all the components of Body besides the crystal, the hands were probably the most sophisticated.
“Well…” said Zephyr slowly. I could hear the desire on her voice. “Why don’t you put those hands to a good use?”
Heart was inclined to follow her suggestion, but I blocked the command to Body. {Zephyr has already communicated her sexual preferences.} I dumped what I had collected on her into shared memory. {We can compensate for not being human by giving her exactly the kind of sex she wants.}
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Want to ride my hand until you cum.”
Body’s voice was soft, feminine, and passionate, but Zephyr gave a half-suppressed snort of amusement in response to its words. “Sounds weird hearing you talk dirty.”
“Pick a safe-word.”
A look of confusion came over her. “What?”
“Choose something to say in case I go too far or you just want to take a break. Surely you know what a safe-word is.”
A look of skepticism came over Zephyr and she raised one eyebrow as she said “Of course know what a safe-word is. Usually use ‘red light’ but-”
I didn’t let her finish the sentence. Body sprang into action with the instantaneous power of the hydraulics, reaching across and grabbing her right arm just below the elbow. With one powerful, controlled motion it lifted and spun her. Body was almost exactly the same size as Zephyr, but it was far stronger, and in the reduced gravity it was capable of feats of acrobatics that would’ve been impossible on Earth.
Zephyr shrieked in surprise as she flopped down on the bed face-down with Body suddenly on top of her. I had Body pull her right arm behind her such that it could be snapped out of its socket with the simplest motion. Body weighed quite a lot even in the low-grav, and though I made sure to put most of that weight on the bed itself, Zephyr was in no position to throw the machine off her back. She was pinned very solidly.
“What the hell!?” she yelled. I wondered if there was anyone staying in adjacent rooms.
I shaped Body’s voice to resemble that of the dominatrices I had sometimes watched in pornographic holos and videos. I made sure to keep the feminine tone, but I made it husky and fierce as Body bent over Zephyr to whisper in her ear. “Think it sounds weird when I talk dirty? Tell me what colour that light is and I’ll teach you to feel something else at the sound of my voice.”
There was a pause. Zephyr seemed to be thinking.
“What colour is the light?” asked Body again. I dialled its voice back to something more compassionate.
“... Green.”
“You’re fucking right it is,” growled Body, reaching under her to forcefully pull out her left arm and pin it behind her back next to her other arm. “May not be bigger than you, but that would only matter if I was human. Stronger than you. Faster than you. Better than you. You’re under my power, and the only thing that trying to escape will earn is pain. Do you understand me?”
Zephyr wiggled under Body, testing the hold she was under. I had Body gently pull her arms until she stopped. She sat there for a minute, head occasionally turning one way or another. I had Body sit up and hold both her wrists with one hand while the other traced lines on the skin of her back.
“I said: do you understand me? Long as that light stays green I’m going to teach you to worship me.”
Zephyr tried to buck Body off her back, totally ineffectually. “Fuck you!” she growled. I could see the traces of a smile on her face.
I forced Body down on top of her, bending in to whisper in her e
ar “Wrong answer…”. Body’s mouth may have been more of a puppet than anything, but it had teeth, and at my instruction it nibbled at her ear. I didn’t dare do any actual biting, however, as the lack of sensors meant a very real danger of serious damage. As it held her arms pinned, Body continued to shift more and more of its weight off the bed and onto Zephyr.
“Fuck, you’re heavy!” she groaned as it became harder for her to breathe. This too, I had to be careful with. I didn’t want to make it hard for her to say the safe-word if she needed. “Okay, yes! I understand!”
I eased Body up, and had it let go of her ear. Holding her wrists with one hand the other undid the clasp on her bra. “Not good enough. When you talk to me I want to be called by my title.”
“Title?” she asked. “You want me to call you ‘mistress’ or something?” I could hear the amusement in her voice.
Body’s free hand teased her neck, tracing lines around her clavicle as she watched with one eye. I had once read about neck stimulation in an essay on human erogenous zones, though it wasn’t having a clear effect on the soldier. “No. Nothing so mundane…” I had it say. I switched Body to focusing on touching her one visible ear (the other being pressed onto the bed). “I want you to call me goddess.”
Zephyr gave an amused little snort, to which I had Body immediately respond with a sharp upward tug on her arms. My expectation of the pain was correct, and Zephyr’s smile was quickly replaced by a painful grimace. Heart didn’t like it, but she understood that this was part of what Zephyr wanted.
“Fine! Yes, understand, goddess. Please don’t hurt me,” she said.
“Good…” whispered Body. “Such obedience makes me want to tie you up and make you squirm with pleasure.” I could see the infrared signature on her skin of a blush as Body spoke.
“I… um, have handcuffs. They’re in my bag. Small pocket on the front. The one that’s still zipped.”
I had Body laugh, breaking the character of dominatrix for a moment. “Okay, going to get up and get them. Don’t move a muscle or I’ll really punish you.”