Blue put her hands on her hips. “Right, like that’s going to make us change our minds about—”
“Make that three,” Lady Agnue said.
“We are not leaving,” SJ asserted. “You cannot—”
“Four,” Lady Agnue interrupted again.
“Guys,” I interceded. “It’s all right. Go. I’ll be out of here in a minute.”
Blue stomped her foot in frustration. “Crisa—”
“Five,” Lady Agnue went on.
“Guys.” I looked at them earnestly.
“Ugh, fine,” Blue moaned.
I gave them a nod of reassurance and the two of them stormed out of the room, leaving me alone with our headmistress.
“Crisanta Knight.”
I pivoted back to the woman I once considered intimidating. She leaned back in her plush, high-backed chair and addressed me anew.
“I cannot begin to describe the levels of reproachable behavior you have achieved these last few months.”
“That’s not going to stop you from trying though. Is it?” I sassed.
“Miss Knight! This is hardly the time for your smart mouth.”
Agree to disagree.
“Fine, fine,” I sighed. “Go on. Get it out of your system, Lady Agnue.”
“I have half a mind to suspend you, or expel you, or put in a request that you be transferred to Alderon. For goodness’ sake, you are the most terrible, irresponsible, inappropriate, unruly . . .”
I yawned as I waited for the list of derogatory adjectives to end—a response that my headmistress clearly did not appreciate.
“Miss Knight, are you listening to me?”
“Honestly? No,” I replied flatly. “I’m not, Lady Agnue. I’m done wasting my time listening to you or Mauvrey or anyone else around here who thinks they know more about me than I do.”
“You insolent girl. I have seen princesses and common protagonists and Legacies pass through these halls for years. And all that time has not gone by without my intuition learning to call a kettle black when I see it. So believe me when I say, Crisanta Knight, that you are nothing but a weak, delusional, little girl who is as much a failure at being a princess as she is at being a hero, and is too incompetent to ever be anything else of value either.”
“You’re wrong,” I said unfazed.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I said you’re wrong. I’m not weak. I’m not delusional. And I’m not some incompetent failure either. Oh believe me, you almost had me convinced for a while there. But I’ve changed since you last saw me, Lady Agnue. And because of that, I can say with complete certainty that I am not any of those things at all. You know what I am, though? I’m smart. And I’m strong. And I’m persistent and resourceful and capable of a lot more than you think. So go ahead, hand down your punishment. Do your worst. But I’m not apologizing or backing down on this, not to you or anybody else ever again.”
“Well, look at the brave, tiny princess,” Lady Agnue sneered. “She goes on one quest and suddenly she is not afraid of anything.”
“Wrong again, headmistress. I’m afraid of a lot of things. And I’ll admit that so far the main thing I’ve been afraid of is being defined by what you, and everyone else around here thinks of me. But that’s okay. I accept that. I’m just not going to let that fear dictate what I do anymore. Just like I’m no longer going to let you—or the rest of the world—dictate my character.”
“Because you are so sure of who you are?” Lady Agnue asked, rolling her eyes.
“Partially,” I admitted. “But also because I know who I want to be—someone as true of heart as they are clear of mind, someone as kind as they are strong, and someone who exemplifies all the qualities of a great princess and a great hero.”
“How many times must I tell you, Miss Knight? You cannot—”
“Don’t even start, Lady Agnue,” I said. “I can be anything I want. I know I can because—despite what you believe—people are capable of being more than one dimensional. We are not designed to fit into a perfect singular slot like a round peg in a round hole. We’re much more complex than these stereotypes you keep trying to shove us into. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. When we were in the Forbidden Forest, my friends were under the influence of a magic watering can and there were these Therewolves and . . . well, that’s another story. The point is that a person can be unkind but still be a good friend. They can be selfish but also loyal. They can be brave even when they are full of fear. And they can even be trustworthy when so much of them is cloaked in mystery.”
“So is that what you are claiming, Miss Knight?” Lady Agnue said, standing slowly from her desk. “That you are one of these great contradictions—this mighty hero-princess as you so described?”
“No,” I responded, watching her steadily as she moved around her desk. “At least not yet anyways. The truth is that the Crisanta Knight I’ve been up ’til now hasn’t come close to being the admirable, powerful person I’m describing. She’s been lost, letting her life be defined by everyone else in the world—friends, enemies, the Author. But that ends now.” I stood my ground firmly. “That Crisanta Knight is dead. Her limitations no longer shape me or my decisions; the only thing that does is the worthy hero-princess I want to be. My choices are a reflection of her from hereon out—not anything or anyone else. Least of all . . . you.”
My clenched fist tingled with the familiar sensation of the magic watering can’s liquid metal effect. I squeezed it tighter and subtly moved it behind my back so Lady Agnue wouldn’t see.
“Well . . .” the headmistress mused after a moment, leaning against her desk. “Quite the speech, Miss Knight. Really. It demonstrates a great deal of personal growth and self-acceptance, the likes of which you should be proud of.”
“Pride isn’t relevant here,” I said, unmoved. “What is important is whether or not you’re going to listen to my friends and me about everything we’ve just told you.”
“I am afraid the answer to that is still a firm no,” she replied.
“Then you know what I have to do—what we have to do,” I countered.
“I know what you want to do, Crisanta Knight,” she said calmly, her copper eyes sparkling with the kind of bloodlust that a coyote might display toward a deer. “But that does not mean you are going to do it. In fact, you and your friends—both here and at Lord Channing’s—are not going to tell anyone what you have just finished describing to me.”
“And why not?”
“Because I was not being overly dramatic when I said I might send out a request to have you transferred to Alderon. Tell me, Miss Knight, if you actually believe all those stories you have told me, how long do you think a protagonist like yourself would last in such a place?”
I scoffed. “You don’t have the power to send anyone to Alderon. It’s not your call. And even if it was, no one would ever let you get away with it.”
“That may be true,” Lady Agnue conceded. “But it is the call of a good friend of mine. Perhaps you know her; her name is Lena Lenore.”
“Nice try. Lenore doesn’t have that kind of authority either. If she did, she would’ve already sent me to Alderon herself.”
“Right again,” Lady Agnue said. “But the only reason she has not is because she has yet to find a justification for doing so.”
“And what, now she has?” I asked, still not taking her seriously.
“No, but she will as soon as I tell her you have Pure Magic Disease.”
My heart stopped. I didn’t know how Lady Agnue knew about the sickness, much less that I had it, but I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of seeing me squirm. I kept my expression neutral, swallowing down any emotion that might give me away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied carefully.
“Oh, I think you do. I think you know all too well what I am talking about and what would happen to you if anyone else found out.”
I held my tongue.
“No back-sass?�
� Lady Agnue commented. “My, that is a first. I assume you are aware that if the Godmothers or any of the other realm leaders became aware of your Pure Magic they would have all the just cause necessary to lock you away forever. The greater population of the realm might not be aware of the illness for the time being, but for the right reasons I am sure the ambassadors would tell them. And once they do, there would be no place for you to hide. After all, none of the citizens of Book would want someone who could turn into a vengeful, powerful witch at any moment running about freely. Our leaders would insist that you be imprisoned within Alderon and no one would protest.”
“Alderon’s In and Out Spell has no effect on me and my friends anymore. We already explained that to you.”
“Yes, but Lena Lenore has command over an entire agency of powerful Fairy Godmothers,” Lady Agnue replied. “I am sure we could find some sort of magical enchantment that would counteract your new ability—keep you in Alderon until you either turn into the villain your disease is priming you for or your antagonist friends silence you themselves.”
I tried to keep my tone even. “Your word is not enough to convince anyone I have Pure Magic.”
“Perhaps not,” Lady Agnue admitted. “But as you said, an idea is a formidable thing. And more than that, I have proof.”
My eyebrows shot up. “What proof?”
“As you may already know, there are two symptoms that diagnose Pure Magic Disease—the inability to remove one’s magic and dreams of the future. Prior to your return this evening, Lena Lenore also paid me a visit. She told me about your magic and that she witnessed the first of the two symptoms when you killed a Stiltdegarth in her office. But she cannot make a case against you unless she has evidence of the second symptom as well. So she reached out to me to see if I might have something. And the thing of it is . . . I do. I may not have told her about it, but I possess proof of your sleep-induced abilities, Crisanta. I simply thought I would keep it to myself so that I might use it as leverage.”
Now it was my turn to glare. “You’re bluffing,” I accused.
“I assure you, I am not,” the headmistress responded. “But if you do not believe me, I could contact Lena Lenore right now and we could get all this straightened out tonight. It would be easy to give her the condemning proof she is searching for. On the other hand, should having your life completely destroyed not be of interest to you, you could always just do as I say.”
I gritted my teeth. “What do you want, Lady Agnue?”
“The very thing that comes least naturally to you, Miss Knight—silence. I shall keep your secret so long as neither you nor your friends speak a word to anyone about what you have learned about the world beyond these walls. But open your mouth even once and I will contact the Godmother Supreme and give her the fate-sealing information about you that she is searching for. Then you and your Pure Magic Disease-ridden self will be on the next transport to Alderon with me happily waving you off.”
J flitted back and forth across the room, getting ready for the ball.
She was wearing a fitted, floor-length black satin gown with one strap over her right shoulder. It was a flattering and simple look, which she accessorized with gold, dangling earrings. Her jet-black hair was in a ballet dancer’s bun, showing off the earrings. It was wound up tight, opposite to her mood, which seemed unusually loose.
Unlike my friend, I had not yet found the will to reassume our normal princess activities. We’d just returned from a perspective-bending, life-changing, mind-altering mission. The short week we’d been back at school was nowhere near enough time to decompress from it all.
As a result, I was putting off putting on my poofy dress for as long as possible. Spending an evening in a ballroom making small talk with our classmates about hairstyles and homework (and then probably being gossiped about the moment we turned our backs) hardly seemed like a fun time.
“SJ, this is ridiculous,” I commented for the fourth time in the last fifteen minutes. “We shouldn’t be going to another ball like everything is normal when the truth is anything but.”
“I know, Crisa,” SJ replied.
“You know,” I sighed, “but you’re still going.”
“As are you,” she said, coming over to me. “Yes, it is madness to have to go about business as usual when there is so much malevolence brewing in the world. But for the time being we are at a stalemate in terms of what we can do about it. Since Lady Agnue has leverage on you with regards to your Pure Magic, we have to proceed carefully.”
“So what, you’re saying we behave ourselves and make believe all is right with the world? We do exactly what our witch of a headmistress wants and don’t warn the other protagonists or try to stop Nadia and Arian? We just pretend like nothing is at stake?”
“No, I am saying that we cannot allow our emotions to get the better of us because everything is at stake. Just as this is not the time for impetuous, ill-thought-out action, nor is it the time for rebellious protests like locking ourselves in our room like pouting children. We need to be cautiously prudent and put up a front—utilizing it to think about how to best move forward.”
I knocked my skull against my headboard. “Ugh. I know you’re right. I just hate not doing anything.”
“We all do,” SJ replied. She fastened the clasps on her fancy shoes. “But with the situation as it stands, that is all we can afford for now.”
I twiddled my thumbs and glanced at the floor. “Unless we didn’t,” I said evenly. “I mean, we could always just disregard Lady Agnue and her stupid leverage over me and tell everyone what we came back to tell them.”
“And then one message to Lena Lenore later and you would be sent off to Alderon—delivered to their front porch like a present to the very people who want you dead. Is that what you want?”
“Obviously not. But all the other protagonists . . . we have to think about their safety too. They deserve to know that they’re in danger. Isn’t it kind of selfish to put my well-being over theirs?”
SJ sighed and sat on the edge of my bed, trying not to wrinkle her dress. “Crisa, I understand where you are coming from. But as difficult a burden as it may be, the best way to keep the other protagonists safe is by keeping you safe. Nadia, Arian, and the people of Alderon want you eliminated because you are the only person supposedly capable of stopping them. So as wrong as it may seem now, it really is in everyone’s best interest to bide our time under the thumb of our headmistress until we have a solid plan.”
She put her hand on my arm sympathetically, and I sat up to join her at the edge of the comforter. I bumped my shoulder against hers and she responded by giving me a small side hug.
“It will be okay, you know,” she said. “We are in this together, which means that we will get through this together.”
I nodded in agreement. “I know,” I said. “You, me, Blue, Jason, and Daniel—somehow, we’ll find a way.”
SJ smiled, a glint of mischief in her eye. “So Alderon was not just a fluke then? You are finally recognizing Daniel as a part of our group? My goodness, someone has really grown. I seem to recall you describing him as ‘the most obnoxious boy in the history of time’ in this very room not so long ago.”
“Oh, you’re exaggerating.”
“You said you wanted to ‘smush his face.’”
A small grin escaped my lips. “Yeah, well, just because I like him better now doesn’t mean that option’s completely off the table.”
SJ huffed in amusement then trotted to the other side of the room to collect her purse. As she passed the floor-length mirror, she inadvertently bumped her desk. The slight reverberation caused several glass animal figurines on the desk to tremble, including the glass Pegasus figurine that was perched on the very edge.
“Listen,” SJ said, not noticing the precarious state of her collectible. “Get ready in your own time. I am not going to harass you about it. You can meet me, Blue, and the boys in the ballroom when you are done.”
“Where i
s Blue, anyway?” I asked. “Aren’t you worried about her not coming to the ball either?”
“No. She went down to the practice fields. She said she wanted to get a workout in and would change in the barn. I think she shoved her dress into a duffle bag. I would wait for both of you, but we are already running late and I want to reassert myself as head of the ball planning committee, which means that before the grand doors open I need to be there to—”
“I know, I know,” I interjected. “Go be super-princess. I’ll get changed and see you guys there.”
SJ made for the door. “I will check you in when I arrive so that you can take your time without getting another lecture from Madame Lisbon about punctuality.”
“Having ditched this much school, I think our Damsels in Distress professor might have better topics to talk to me about,” I said with a scoff. “But I appreciate your help. Reliable ol’ SJ, always looking out for me.”
She opened the door to our suite and gave me a wink. “Thank me later,” she called back.
It occurred to me then that I had never followed up on her comment. SJ always said “thank me later” whenever she helped me out of a jam, but I couldn’t recall ever actually thanking her.
I lay back down on my bed and stared up at the maroon and purple canopy. The tick-tock of the clock on Blue’s desk echoed through the empty suite.
I found my mind to be uncharacteristically blank. No thoughts ran through my head. No insecurities or doubts swarmed my subconscious. While everything to do with Lady Agnue and my Pure Magic was bothering me, there was a static nature to this moment. And in it, I drifted off to sleep.
I didn’t have many dreams this time. Maybe it was because I hadn’t used any magic today. Or maybe I was just too tired.
I caught a glimpse of a black flag with a skull and crossbones insignia fluttering in the night’s breeze. An image of Chance Darling in Twenty-Three Skidd armor walking down a corridor. And a flash of Natalie reading in a library. The row of books behind her was labeled “Art History.” She sat on the cheap blue carpet with her back against one of the stacks.
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