The gift I was more interested in, though, was the book Daniel had brought me this afternoon. I’d told him about this book a few days ago—the one I’d seen in the library at the Capitol Building when Arian’s men were chasing us. I had remembered it many times since then, including when I’d discovered the Scribes’ protagonist book library and when we’d been in Germany with Yunru and Berto.
I was glad that the memory had been ingrained so well, as I’d only recently recognized the book’s importance and was certain that it might help us better understand what we were up against.
I’d asked Daniel to see if one of his friends at the Capitol Building could “borrow” the text and send it to him. He had, and they did. As a result, there was currently a book titled Shadow Guardians—Origins, Dangers, & Weaknesses resting on my nightstand.
Of course I would return the copy eventually, but for now I was excited to have it. I smiled at the book and the birthday cupcake wrapper beside it.
It was sweet of my friends to put in the effort, and I appreciated the gesture. I’d always loved celebrating my birthday. The occasion just didn’t feel right at the moment because lately I’d been far more focused on someone else’s birthday—Natalie’s.
According to Liza’s prediction the girl would be born very soon, which meant that it was time for me to make my decision. And after days of reflection, I finally knew what I wanted that to be. Because at the end of the day, I knew who I wanted to be.
I picked up the Mark Two from my nightstand and flipped it open. “Liza,” I said. The compact flashed a few times before Liza’s face appeared in the mirror.
“Crisa,” she yawned. “It’s late. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied calmly. “I’ve just been thinking a lot about Natalie and I finally have an answer for you.”
Liza rubbed her eyes and tried to blink away her tiredness. “And?”
“I wanna do it. I want to develop my magic—train myself to be strong enough to reach her before time runs out.”
Liza was wide awake now. “Are you sure about this, Crisa?” she asked seriously. “You understand what this might mean for you?”
“Yes,” I responded firmly. “I know the risks; I know the magic can either burn me out or more likely corrupt me and turn me dark. But I also know what’s at stake. Not just for me—for Natalie, her realm, and this one too. Which is why I’m not going to cower behind doubt and lack of belief in myself when I can actually do something about it. That’s not the type of person I want to be. So I don’t care how hard or painful or dangerous it is, I’m going to learn how to use my magic. I’m going to make myself strong enough to control it. And I am not going to give up until I do.”
“All right.” Liza nodded. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“So will I,” I responded.
“We’ll start your training after the new year,” Liza continued. “Now it’s late and you should be asleep. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Get some rest.”
I huffed in amusement. “You know that’s never really an option for people like us.”
I put the Mark Two down, ending the call, and leaned against my headboard.
What does my life mean? And what do I stand for?
I’d once asked myself these questions without any clue of the answers. At last, I finally knew the answers to both.
My life meant what everyone else’s did—a chance to live it. A chance to make choices, and forge a path, and work toward whoever you wanted to be in this world.
And what did I stand for? I stood for someone who was confidently, unapologetically, and unwaveringly proud of the person I wanted to be:
A hero.
Not because I desired to be problem-free by means of some impervious physical strength or fearlessness. But because I wanted to take responsibility for those problems, have the conviction of character to accept my challenges and weaknesses, and learn to use my internal strength to never give up and keep fighting on despite them.
And a princess.
Not because I wanted to be swept off my feet at balls or harmonize with the song of woodland creatures. But because, no matter how grave the circumstance or how much the world may try to beat hope and faith out of me, I never wanted my heart to turn hard. I wanted to have the esteem to believe in myself, the compassion to believe in others, and the ability to put aside things like self-interest and pride in order to make graceful and honorable decisions.
That is who I wanted to be—who I stood for. Someone valiant and vulnerable, someone simultaneously strong and soft of heart, and someone who would have the courage and conviction to never stop believing she could be all those things and more.
End of Book Three
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Geanna Culbertson adores chocolate chip cookies, watching Netflix in pajamas, and the rain. Of course, in her case, the latter is kind of hard to come by. As her dad notes, “In California, we don’t have seasons, we have special effects.”
On the flip side, she is deeply afraid of ice skating and singing in public. Although she forces herself to do both on occasion because she believes facing your fears can be good for you.
During the week Geanna lives a disciplined, yet preciously ridiculous lifestyle. She gets up before dawn to train and write. Goes to work where she enjoys a double life as a kid undercover in a grown-up world. Then comes home, eats, writes, and watches one of her favorite TV shows.
On weekends, however, Geanna’s heart, like her time, is completely off the leash. Usually she’ll teach martial arts at her local karate studio, pursue yummy foods, and check out whatever’s new at her fav stores. To summarize, she’ll wander, play, disregard the clock, and get into as many shenanigans as possible.
Geanna is also passionate about writing books that will speak to young girls and their potential. She is a sponsor and strong proponent of Girls on the Run, Los Angeles, an organization whose vision is “a world where every girl knows and activates her limitless potential and is free to boldly pursue her dreams.”
Inherent Fate Page 40