by Sophie Stern
Looking at her now will only make me want her more.
Tonight we talked more about her kidnapping than we ever have before, and I got to see a side of Hayden I rarely see. I got to see her vulnerable. I got to see her open. Hayden wraps herself in a protective shell and keeps people out, but tonight, she let me in, if only just a little.
It’s not long before we’re at her house, and the car parks itself in front of her home. I get out of the hovercar, carefully lift Hayden from the vehicle, and head to the front of her tiny home. Modeled after Earth homes, her house is one of the quaintest on Sapphira.
Most of the houses here are large and overpowering. They’re all at least five or six stories tall and almost always completely blue or purple. Each floor might only have one or two rooms, but in Sapphira, height is the big draw when it comes to real estate.
Hayden’s though, is small. It’s also painted a soft shade of yellow, which makes it look delicate.
Like her.
She always swears she’s overweight, but Hayden is actually light as a feather as I bring her up to the front of the house. I press a button next to the door.
“Identify yourself,” a voice says.
“Gazley Oleandair,” I murmur, hating that Hayden used my full name when she programmed my ability to enter her home. She only did it to mess with me. She knows I hate that name and only use it for legal purposes at work.
“Please step forward for identification scan, Gazley Oleandair.”
I lean forward while the computer scans my face. After a second, I hear the door unlock and it slides open.
“Welcome, Gazley Oleandair.”
“Thank you,” I growl, and step inside. I hit a button and the door slides closed behind me. It locks automatically and since, to my knowledge, Hayden hasn’t given permission to anyone else to enter the house, no one is going to bother her while she’s sleeping.
I carry her through the tidy living room and over to the bedroom. I don’t know why she and her brother both chose Earth homes. There was a big craze a few years ago where developers modeled new Sapphiran homes to look like those from other planets. Both Hayden and Ezra love these things.
Me?
I’m happy to blend.
My own house has six floors. It’s tall and big and close to work, but there’s something special about Hayden’s house that mine is missing.
Comfort.
There are two couches in the living room and they’re both covered in throw pillows and blankets. The walls are decorated with pictures she’s painted or photos of Hayden with her friends. There are flowers and plants everywhere.
But there are no carpets.
Nope, Hayden doesn’t have carpets in her house.
When Quinn asked her why, she told him to fuck off, but her eyes caught mine, and I realized why.
It’s because she knows I’m Orchidian.
She knows I stuff my feet into shoes all day not because I have to, but to hide my identity, and she knows the pleasure that comes from an Orchidian being able to glide across the floor. We weren’t meant to wear shoes. When we’re barefoot, we don’t even lift our feet because we’re able to glide so effortlessly. It wasn’t until I moved to Sapphira that I began covering my feet, began hiding this part of myself.
Hayden lets me off the hook, though. She makes it easy for me to feel comfortable in her home because that’s the type of person she is. She’s kind. She’s gentle. She looks after the people around her.
And now, tonight, I get to take care of her.
When I get to her bedroom, I place her gently on her bed. She’s got a top-of-the-line hoverbed that naturally adjusts to the appropriate temperature. If your body is warm, it will cool down. If you’re cold, the bed warms. The bed was a gift for her last birthday, and she thanks me almost every time she sees me.
Spoiling Hayden, when she’ll let me, is one of my favorite things to do.
As soon as she’s curled up on her bed, I leave the room and go sit on one of the couches. I’m guessing I have about half an hour before she wakes up from her little nap. It’ll be supper time by the time she gets up, so I yank off my shoes and run my feet over the cold tiles of her floor. Then I pick up my communications unit and order two meals to be delivered at seven.
Once I’m satisfied that everything is taken care of, I close my eyes, too.
Just for a little while…
Chapter 5
Hayden
The gentle chimes of my security system let me know someone has arrived at my house, and I hurry to the front door, passing Gaz’s passed-out body on the way. He’s sleeping on my couch, and I realize he must have brought me home from the bar. How much did I drink? Holy dragons. Poor Gaz must think I’m completely bonkers for falling asleep in the middle of the afternoon.
My only excuse is that it was a long day.
“Order for Gazley Oleandair,” the robot says. I reach for the two boxes it’s holding and take them from the robot. So Gaz ordered food, did he? It smells delicious.
“Thank you,” I tell the robot. Even though it’s essentially a fancy computer, I can’t bring myself to be rude to the poor thing. It leaves, and I head back inside with the food. Gaz is sitting on my couch, and he offers me a lopsided, boyish grin.
“Have a nice nap?” He asks.
“I did. Thanks for dinner.”
“Anything for you,” he says. We sit side-by-side in comfortable silence as we eat. When we finish, I set the boxes on the kitchen counter and come back to sit with him a little more. I curl up beside Gaz and, because I’m tired and full and satisfied, I dare to lean my head on his shoulder. He slips his arm around me and tugs me a little closer.
It’s the most we’ve ever touched. It’s the most I’ve ever let a man touch me. I’ve never felt okay about letting a guy get this close to me before, but I feel so safe right now, so taken care of.
I feel protected.
“Gaz?” I whisper. I’m not sure why I’m whispering except that the moment seems precious. It feels delicate somehow, like speaking at full volume will somehow break this spell I’m finding myself under.
“What is it, Hayden?” He strokes my hair, and I take a deep breath.
“I had a really good time with you this afternoon,” I say. The words sound lame, even to me, but he doesn’t laugh at me. He just keeps touching me.
“It was a nice way to relax,” he says. “Hanging out, dancing, napping. I always have fun with you, Hayden.”
“You’re my best friend, Gaz,” I say the words, and suddenly, my stomach feels like it’s filled with a million tiny dragon shifters all fighting for dominance. I’ve never told Gaz I love him. I’ve never told him he’s the most important person in the universe to me. I’ve never told him any of this. We hug and we touch, but never like this.
And I don’t want it to stop.
Gaz doesn’t say anything for a minute. Instead, he lifts me up and pulls me onto his lap. Then he keeps hugging me and stroking my hair. There’s no way I should be comfortable with this. There’s no way I should be okay with what is happening right now, but somehow, everything feels so right.
“When I came to Sapphira, I felt very lonely. Moving to a new place is always difficult, isn’t it?”
“So I’ve heard. I’ve never lived anywhere but Diamond, so I guess I’m not the best person to ask about that.”
“Well, I was very uncomfortable when I arrived. Obviously, I am the most handsome man in the city, so there was that to deal with.”
“Oh yes,” I laugh. “You had to deal with all the poor Sapphiran women vying for your attention. However did you manage?”
“I met you,” he says. “Do you remember that day?”
“I remember.”
We were at a bow shop, me and Ezra. Quinn was off getting into trouble somewhere, but Ezra was going to teach me how to hunt, so he took me with him to the store. While we were there, I saw the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life. He was tall and dark and h
andsome: all of the things those old Earth television shows say a man ought to be.
Ezra saw what Gaz was about to buy, and he stepped in and started giving the salesman a piece of his mind. Gaz was so surprised, but appreciative, that he ended up buying exactly what Ezra recommended and the two of them started trading hunting tips. Gaz started coming by Ezra’s place to hang out and since I was already over there so often myself, I started getting to know Gaz.
And once I saw what was beneath his sexy exterior, I started to fall in love with the man he really is.
“You were wearing a pink dress,” he says softly.
“How do you remember that? It was years ago.”
“I’ll never forget, Hayden. You looked so sweet, like an angel. I thought you were Ezra’s girlfriend and when I found out you were related, it was such a sweet relief.”
“Why were you relieved?” I ask the question, even though I’m not really sure I want to know the answer. I should think before I ask questions like this because his answer is going to change everything.
Gaz holds my heart, and he can break it or guard it, and I don’t know which one he’s going to do.
“You’re in my lap, Hayden,” he whispers, and he catches my gaze. “You’ve been sitting in my lap and you haven’t moved. Do you do this with any of your other friends?”
“Never.”
“You’re a smart girl, Hayden.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, you know how I feel about you, princess. You just aren’t ready to believe it. Not just yet.”
“Pretend I’m dumb, Gaz. Pretend I’m stupid and I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“You want me to say the words, darling?” His hand runs through my hair, gently playing with my curls. My heart begins to soar, and I feel like I’m going to die of happiness or throw up from nervousness.
“Say it,” I whisper, and I hold my breath.
Gaz leans closer to me and presses his lips to my forehead.
“I love you,” he whispers as he pulls away. “I’ve loved you for a very long time, Hayden.”
“You never told me before,” I point out the obvious. “Gaz, you never told me before.”
“Hayden,” he doesn’t stop touching me. “When I met you, I could tell you had been through something terrible. I’m a lawyer, yes, but I’m also a hunter, and I know what wounded prey looks like. I knew you had been through something emotionally devastating, and I also knew that you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.”
“But you never pressed me.”
“I never pushed you, Hayden, because I hoped that one day, we’d be close enough that you trusted me.”
“And that day is today.”
“When you let me hold you at Galaxy, when you fell asleep and knew I’d be right there to protect you, that wasn’t stupidity, Hayden. That was trust. You trusted me to take care of you, and I did.”
“Something tells me you’ll always look after me, Gaz.”
“Tell me you don’t feel the same, Hayden. Tell me I’m being crazy and I’ll leave. Tell me you don’t want me, that you aren’t completely in love with me, that I’m not the one who makes your heart sing. You tell me all of that, and I’ll go, and we can pretend today never happened.”
I look up at Gaz and I see an eagerness in his eyes I’ve never seen before. I see a passion, a depth he’s kept locked away. I see something burning there that I want more of.
I want all of him.
“I can’t tell you that, Gaz, because I love you, too.”
He doesn’t kiss me yet. He just looks at me, and I start to tear up a little bit, because I’ve never been the lucky girl, the brave girl. I’ve never been someone life shone favorably upon. My journey has been hard and treacherous and full of pain, but Gaz makes me feel innocent once more.
When he touches me, I know that everything is going to be okay. The world is set right when I’m in his arms.
“Hayden, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words.” He strokes my cheek. “I must be dreaming because you’re so perfect. How could you ever love a fool like me?”
“You’re my Gaz,” I say simply, and then I lean up and kiss him, pressing my lips gently to his. Our first kiss is soft, slow. It’s sensual. I feel the passion burning deep in my belly, the desire for more, but I keep that locked up for now. Right now, I just want this kiss. I just want this moment.
Gaz kisses me tenderly, and I realize he’s been waiting just as long for this moment as I have. He kisses me like there’s no tomorrow, like I’m the only thing he needs to live, and then he stops and pulls me close to him once more.
We sit together, embracing on the couch, and I close my eyes as I rest against him.
Gaz loves me.
He loves me.
And I am safe.
Chapter 6
Gaz
I shouldn’t be holding her, touching her, kissing her.
I shouldn’t be with Hayden because she’s so perfect and I am not.
I have secrets she could never imagine and a past she wouldn’t believe, but right now, none of that matters. In this moment, all that matters is that we’re here together. I’ll need to tell her who I am – who I really am – soon. There will come a time when it will be necessary, but right now, I just want to be me.
Is it so wrong that I just want to be Gaz: the lawyer?
What’s the problem with just wanting to be Gaz: Hayden’s best friend?
I don’t want to be Gazley anymore. I haven’t wanted that for a long time. There’s a reason I came to Sapphira so long ago, but I don’t want to talk about that with Hayden right now. I don’t want to ruin the moment.
Maybe that’s not fair to her, though. Hayden is a very private person and me? My life is complicated, messy. There is a part of me that I’ve hidden away, a part of me I hope never comes to the surface, but it will. That’s the way life works. I should tell her before we get too involved, before we get too close
But then she kisses me, and I forget about everything except the way Hayden tastes. Kissing her clears my mind and takes me away from my troubles. When her lips are pressed to mine, I’m not worried about Trevor or the Orchidian police. I’m not worried about my family or my upbringing. I’m not worried about all of the things I left behind.
When Hayden is touching me, somehow all of my problems just disappear and I am left wrapped in the arms of the most beautiful woman on the planet.
She kisses me, and I feel complete.
She moves so she’s straddling me on the couch, and I grip her hips as she grinds against me, rubbing her body over mine. I’m hard for her, and she can definitely feel it, but I’m not embarrassed. Any man would be lucky to have Hayden Fox rubbing on them and right now I’m the luckiest fucking man on the planet.
“You are so damn perfect,” I groan.
“I’m nothing compared to you, Gaz.”
My name on her lips sounds like perfection, like heaven, and I kiss her more. Slowly, daringly, I run my hands up and down her sides. Hayden stiffens for a second and I slow down, but then she relaxes beneath my touch and I continue to feel her body. She’s so soft, so delicate. She is everything I am not, and I love that about her.
When my hands make their way up to cup her breasts, she moans.
“I’ve thought about this so many times,” I murmur. “You have no idea how much I’ve fantasized about you, Hayden.”
“Me too,” she whispers. “I shouldn’t. I know it’s wrong, but I’ve wanted you for forever, Gaz. You’re the only man I…the only man I want to…it’s only you, Gaz. It’s just you and me.”
I run my hands over her clothed breasts. Her body is soft and sweet, but I want more. I want to touch her beneath the dress, and I slowly start to slide my hands up her thighs. Hayden continues to groan and rub against me, kissing me, as my hands reach her bottom.
This beautiful girl is being so bold with me, so free, and I want to make her feel incredib
le. I want to make her feel desired and passionate and happy. I want to make her smile and laugh. I want to make her come. I want to fill her up and lose myself in her beauty.
I want everything with Hayden.
But then she suddenly stops me and climbs off of me, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters.
Confused, I look at her, and she bites her bottom lip.
“Hayden?”
“I just need a second,” she says.
“That’s fine,” I reach for her hand, and she lets me hold it while she takes a few deep breaths. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”
“It’s not you. It’s me. I’m sorry. I just…” Hayden closes her eyes and a tear drizzles down her cheek.
“Hayden, breathe. Look at me, princess. Look at my eyes.” She opens her eyes and looks at me, and I nod. “That’s it. Just keep breathing. Whatever you’re feeling right now is okay, Hayden. Everything is going to be fine. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get through this together. Just breathe.”
She nods and keeps looking at me, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. Finally, Hayden starts to relax, and then she presses her hands on my chest.
“I’m sorry,” she shakes her head. “It just got really intense all of a sudden, and I just felt like I couldn’t breathe.”
“It’s okay, Hayden.”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, pretty girl.” She leans her head against my chest and I stroke her hair. “Do you want to tell me what happened, honey? I don’t pretend to be the best lover in the world, but I don’t usually make my partners cry.”
She laughs quietly, and I count it as a win.
“I should have told you sooner.”
“Told me what?”
“I haven’t…you know…not since…”
Of course.
Hayden hasn’t dated anyone in the time I’ve known her. I sort of assumed she took lovers quietly because she didn’t want her brothers to know and to interfere. I didn’t think she’d been celibate all of this time, though. What happened to her was traumatic. Rape. She was raped, and that’s not something you can get over quickly or easily. It’s not something that’s going to stop hurting just because a couple of years go past.