The clanking of her heals causes him to stand up. He backs away from the door to allow her room to exit. As usual, she’s dressed to impress, not that he gives a damn what she has on. To Eli, she’s the ugliest woman he’s ever known. Everything she touches is cursed. “I’m headed to a fundraiser at his school. Your dad was going to keep him for me.”
“And you think I’ll fill in? I’m not a babysitter, and if you haven’t noticed this place ain’t safe for a kid right now.”
“Get over yourself, Elias. Jonathan knows not to meddle in your messes.” Siobhan rolls her eyes then turns to look out in the yard. “Your father would want you to know your brother.” She tells the child to go play in the yard so she can finish talking without his little ears hearing. “The kid needs a father figure.”
“So marry someone.”
“I have high standards. You of all people should know that.”
“Maybe it’s not your standards at all. It’s possible the men you pick can see right through the fakeness.” Eli feels enraged. Every time he looks at the child he sees his life ruining again and again. It’s like a record on repeat. No matter how much he tries to let the past go, it haunts his every waking thought where Jonathan is concerned.
She whispers while gritting her teeth, speaking closely to avoid being heard. “Need I remind you that he’s your only family left? He’s a little boy. You can’t tell me you don’t feel something when you look at him. Like it or not, he was your father’s son too. He’s having a hard time. Getting to know his big brother might ease his pain.”
She’s completely ignoring the fact that Eli doesn’t want to do this. “I packed him a bag of his favorite things. Snacks and juice boxes, as well as his pajamas. I’m not sure what I left here the last time he stayed with your dad. He needs to be in a booster seat if you go anywhere. There’s a spare in the garage. Don’t let him drink past eight. He’ll pee the bed. My number is programmed into the house phone if there’s an emergency.”
Eli opens his mouth to give her a piece of his mind and order her to leave, but Siobhan is already making sure it’s not going to happen. “Jonathan, come here sweetie. You’re going to have so much fun with your brother tonight. He’s so excited. Give Mommy a kiss so I can go.”
Eli watches the boy wrap his arms around his crouched mother, before kissing her on the lips. He doesn’t want to imagine where those lips have been when she’s not pretending to be the world’s greatest mom.
Siobhan flashes him a wickedly pleased grin, as if to say she knew she had him by the balls the whole time. Then she stands and heads to her car, leaving someone that hates her to care for her son. It’s unbelievably bold and low. So very low.
Chapter 11
The diner is slow, and Clarke regrets deciding to fill in for someone on her day off. It’s not like she needs the money. She just wants to keep busy.
She’s wiping down the plastic menus when the sound of the door ringing catches her attention. At first it appears to be a man and his son. The guy is wearing a baseball cap and the boy has a hood on to keep the evening storm from getting him all wet.
Clarke puts her supplies down and walks toward them. “Is it just the two you tonight?”
“Yeah, just us.”
His voice startles her, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. Clarke’s swift turn almost lands her into the approaching Eli. Their eyes meet and she’s suddenly speechless.
Eli pulls the menus from her grasp and uses his head to motion the booth he used to frequent when they were kids. Clarke knows it’s not just the booth he sat in with friends. It was also the seat his father chose, every single time he came into the diner. It was sentimental in a lot of ways, and as Clarke looks from Eli to the small boy, she sees a tradition being made. Following them to the seats, she pulls out her pad and prepares to be as professional as possible giving her current uncomfortable situation. “What would you like to drink?”
The whole time she waits she’s silently thinking, ‘don’t say chocolate milkshake with two cherries. Don’t you dare say it. Anything but that.’.
Eli peers across the table at the little fellow. “What do you think, Jonny, two chocolate milkshakes with double cherries to start us off?”
“Mom doesn’t let me have milkshakes before dinner.”
Eli turns and offers a ornery smile. “Two milkshakes, double cherries. Make sure his has double whipped cream, will ya?”
“Sure. Anything else to drink?”
“Do you want a couple Coke’s too?” She knows she’s playing into this by remembering his favorite things, but she can’t help herself. It’s too cute to see him bonding with someone so much like Tyler. The boys are cousins, not that they’ve ever been introduced. It’s a real shame too. They could grow up being the best of friends if life wasn’t so screwed up. As it stands, Tyler goes to public school, while she’s certain Jonathan attends some private academy. His mother is a snob. If Clarke knows anything about Siobhan it’s that she’d never allow her children to get a public education. Clarke loathes people like her; the kind who think they are better than everyone.
“Yeah. We can go ahead and order. I promised Jonny a night like Pop used to do for me, so we’ll be having two cheesesteak subs, all the good stuff inside, and two orders of fries with gravy.”
Clarke whispers under her breath. “Are you sure you want to have all that? His little tummy can’t possibly eat so much.”
“I can eat a lot,” the child corrects her.
“He’s good.”
Their eyes meet and Clarke can feel her face turning a bright red. He still has that affect on her, even after breaking her heart and making her hate him. If only she could hate him more.
While heading to the back to put in the order she contemplates spitting in his food, or poisoning him with laxatives. As much as she wants him to suffer, she doesn’t have it in her to be ruthless.
Instead, Clarke makes the special shakes and takes a couple deep breaths before delivering them. She plasters another fake smile on her face and sets them on the table. Before she’s able to turn and walk away Eli grabs onto her wrist. “Excuse me, miss, but you forgot straws.” This time when she looks at him he’s got a sly grin going that causes her to jerk her hand away. She pulls them from her pocket.
“Sorry. Anything else?”
“You could give me your number.” It’s so unexpected she laughs. It’s evident this is all a show for the boy, but each time she glances at the kid she sees the resemblance to her own son; the one Eli wanted her to abort. Clarke wonders if Eli knows she kept the baby, or if he’s come back to apologize for expecting her to make such a hard decision without him. Either way, she knows it’s best to keep her son a secret. Without his father to fill him in, Eli will never have to know Tyler is alive and perfect with someone in his life who wants to be his father more than anything else.
As much as she wants to speak to Eli, she knows it’s not the right time or place. Forced to suffer while the two of them eat and drink, Clarke keeps a mindful watch. Every once in a while Eli will catch her gaze. She never lets him hold it long. He might get the wrong idea about her.
More than ever she wonders why the other little boy that had been at his house isn’t with them. Clarke can tell Eli isn’t used to being around little kids. It makes her wonder about the woman and youngster, even when it’s none of her business.
While taking a short break she calls Tim. Whether it’s guilt or the need to hear his voice, she’s reassured when he answers and greets her. “Hello, my love. How’s work going?”
“It’s slow. I just wanted to say hello. How’s Ty?”
“He’s in the middle of a game at the moment.”
She checks her watch. “He’s not allowed television after seven.”
“I’m teaching him how to play checkers. He’s pretty good. You should see how many pieces he’s kinged.”
Clarke is relieved that Tim abides by her rules for her son. It’s important his mind isn’t
tainted by things on television and in video games. Tyler likes to use his hands. He’s into nature and building things with blocks and Legos. It’s important to her that he uses his imagination as much as possible.
After saying her goodbyes, she ends the call to discover that Eli and Jonny are finished with their food. When she goes over to clear the plates, Eli places his hand over hers. She jerks it away, but not before giving him all of her attention. “You look good, Clarke. When I came home I didn’t think you’d still be living here. I’m glad I got to see you.”
“Leaving so soon?” She can’t exactly say what she wants with a child staring at her.
“We’ll take the check for dinner, and as far as me leaving town, well I’m not real sure. I’m thinking about flipping Dad’s house. It needs a ton of work to make it move in ready. Everything needs updating. Why? Already sick of seeing me around?”
Clarke can’t believe the nerve he has. First he comes back acting like he’s done nothing wrong, and now he’s going to tease her about it? Who does he think he is? “I’m sure you need get back to your life, wherever you settled down at. Was that your wife the other day?”
He chuckles. “God no. I mean, Michelle’s a great woman, but we’re not hitched.”
“Some things never change.” Clarke rolls her eyes. She’s ready for Eli to pay his check and leave. It doesn’t even matter if he refuses to tip her. She just wants him gone.
With shaky hands, Clarke delivers the bill, slipping it onto the table. She turns and walks away, holding her breath until she’s out of sight.
From behind the counter she watches them stand and head to the cash register. Avoiding eye contact, Clarke rings them up and takes the cash from his hand. He purposely brushes his fingers over her palm as the money is exchanged.
Against her better judgment, Clarke looks up into those blue eyes and finds herself lost in the memories of being in love. It’s so out of character for her to lose control that she quickly snaps out of it.
When the change is offered, he waves it away. “Keep it. Thanks, Clarke. We’ll see you around.”
She doesn’t reply. She can’t. It’s like she’s frozen in place. She’s unable to wrap her head around what transpired between them. Now more than ever, she needs answers. He can’t just waltz into her place of work and pretend he left her on good terms. He can’t act like he didn’t have his step-mother deliver the heart shattering news of him leaving, or the fact that he didn’t want the child she was carrying.
Clarke is so pissed when she clocks out that she knows she can’t go home.
Traveling at an unsafe speed, she heads to the one place where she can put all of her uncertainties to rest. She knows the risks. It’s possible Eli will be able to see right through her, but at least she can tell him where to go, and that she never wants to see him again. His charming ways aren’t going to change her mind. He ruined her life, and just as she’s about to get a second chance he shows up. It can’t be fate intervening. She won’t get robbed of her happiness for a second time.
Chapter 12
The ride home is a lot more comfortable. Eli and Jonny talk about fishing and other things they have in common. He’s impressed to learn the boy shares the same preferences with food and hobbies, and as much as he wants to deny the bond, he knows it’s forming.
This is exactly what Siobhan wanted to happen. Eli wishes life were simpler. Now that he’s met the boy, he knows it will be difficult to shut him out of his life again. There’s a lot of trepidation that comes along with getting to know Jonny. All the kid wants is to form a bond with his big brother, especially after losing their father. Eli finds the child fascinating and smart for his young age. If only the circumstances were different, because he knows he could be the positive role model the kid is going to need with a mother like his. Eli tries to be nice when the boy speaks of his mother. He knows it’s not fair to make him think his mom is an awful person. For all Eli knows, Siobhan could do a good job raising the kid. He won’t jeopardize his relationship with the only parent the kid has left.
After complaining of a stomach ache, Eli gets Jonny changed into his pajamas and tucks him into bed. Right before he’s about to turn off the light and close the door the little boy calls out to him. “Eli?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you stay with me until I fall asleep? I’m scared.”
It’s silly, but Eli remembers the same thing happening when he was a kid. His dad used to tell him stories, some true and some fabricated to hold his attention. It was a special time they shared each night before Eli would go to sleep.
Taking the open spot at the foot of his bed, Eli sits down and pats the legs of the boy. “How about a story?”
“Pop used to tell me stories. My favorite is the bear one. Do you know it?”
Chuckling, Eli begins to recall the way his father told it. “Let’s see. If I can remember right, there was this cabin at the top of a mountain. An old retired sailor lived in it with his son. Together they made a life living off the land. They’d hunt and fish and grow their own produce. For years they made it work, even in the coldest winters. Then one night while they were fast asleep they heard a loud knocking coming from outside. When the father went to the window he saw a huge grizzly bear standing on it’s hind legs. The old man had never seen such a huge animal up close. He ran for his rifle, packing it full of bullets just in case the animal decided to try to get in. When his young son saw what his father was doing, he hopped down from the loft to see what was happening. While they both stood in fear staring out the window everything got quiet again. They kept looking, but the bear appeared to be gone. Just as they went to turn and go back to bed something jumped in front of the window. It’s huge brown eyes were focused. Being so afraid, the two men were frozen in place. And then, just as fast as he came, the bear left. A year later they were fishing over a frozen patch of ice. They spotted that bear across the water and knew if he charged them they would die. They decided to take the fish they’d caught and toss them across to the bear in hopes that it would distract them until they could run away. The fish landed at the animal’s feet. The bear sniffed them and looked back at the two men. Then he picked up the fish in his mouth and proceeded to walk out toward them. When he was close enough he dropped the fish and made a groaning sound, then turned and walked away.”
“Pop always said the bear knew they were good people. He didn’t want to take their food. He wanted to be friends.”
“Yeah, that’s what he told me too.”
“It’s probably make believe.”
A guffaw comes from Eli. “Yeah, knowing Dad, it probably was. It’s still a cool story.”
“I bet if you met a bear he’d be nice to you, Eli. When you go away will you still be my brother?”
Something inside of the man softens. He glances over into the child’s eyes and offers a smile. “We’ll always be family, kid. No matter what.”
Having enjoyed the reminiscent bedtime story, Eli heads downstairs grinning from ear to ear. He no sooner takes a cold beer out of the refrigerator when he hears a knock at the door. Since he didn’t hear a vehicle, Eli assumes it’s probably Siobhan worried her son isn’t being cared for. He sort of takes it personal, and prepares to tell her they had a fun time together.
When the door comes ajar it’s not Siobhan he’s looking at. It’s Clarke.
“I shouldn’t be here,” she begins with a sort of panicked tone. “There’s things that need to be said.”
“Can’t it wait? It’s late.”
“No. It can’t.” She barges through the door and turns when she reaches the kitchen counter. “God knows I’ve waited to say this since you left the first time. I’m not waiting until you leave again, Eli.”
“Okay, we’ll talk,” he accepts with both hands raised. “Just calm down. Take a seat. I’ll get you a beer.”
Clarke remains standing. Her hands are shaking so badly she shoves them in her pockets. The hair stands up on her arms, and
whenever Eli glances in her direction her cheeks warm and turn a darker shade of pink. She’s acting like a high school girl with a crush, when she needs to be a strong mother fighting to defend her child. At twenty four, she’s worried she doesn’t know how to be aggressive. She’s spent her life as a lover, not a fighter.
Eli obviously knows what she’s experiencing. He sits down with ease and sips at his beer. Across from him another bottle awaits, yet she can’t bring her body to move. “I know you have questions. I owe you answers.”
“You’re damn right you do. You owe me a lot more than answers. Where they hell have you been? Why have you never contacted me? What did I ever do to you? What happened? You don’t promise someone forever and then disappear.”
“It was never about you, Clarke. Look, I know you want reasons. I have to consider the other people involved. At the time, my leaving was the only choice.”
“You made me believe you loved me. Was it easy for you to leave without saying goodbye? You made Siobhan tell me. Do you know how terrible it was?”
“I never told Siobhan to say anything to you.” Right away Clarke call tell Eli is getting angry. “I didn’t want that bitch anywhere near you.”
“She told me you didn’t love me, and that my choices forced your hand. She told me I was the reason.”
Eli sits his beer down and stares at his connected hands. When he looks up at her there’s a crease in his forehead, as if he’s suffering pain. She’s fidgeting with her diamond ring, spinning it around as a distraction. Eli hates knowing she’s happy with someone else, even though he’d expected as much for years. “I never should have trusted that woman. It makes sense. She’d want to make sure you hated me in case I tried to come back.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I caught Siobhan in a lie; a lie that would cost her more than her marriage to my dad. She said if I told anyone it would break my dad’s heart.”
“What about my heart?” Clarke asks.
Flip My Life Page 6