Kansa looked at his father with concern. Ugrasena’s voice was sounding increasingly strained and Kansa guessed that whatever Ugrasena had kept from him all these years was close to being revealed. A part of him wanted to ask Ugrasena to stop, but the other craved to know the truth. It drove him just as a moth feels drawn towards the flame, pulled by an uncontrollable force. Ugrasena continued with his story.
‘After Padmavati had been at Vidarbha for a month, her father began to get a little better, though his condition was still critical. Padmavati had not left his bedside for the entire time he had been bed-ridden. She was exhausted. Now that he was feeling slightly better, the old king asked her to take a break from nursing him and get some rest. I had sent a messenger to Vidarbha to let Padmavati know that I would be reaching in a couple of days’ time to join her. Seeing her father’s condition slightly improved, and on being goaded by him to take a break, she took few of her lady attendants to go to Puspavan. Puspavan was a beautiful mountain close to the king’s palace and it was believed that the Brahma kamal flower could be found there if you were fortunate enough to locate it. Your mother wanted to get the Brahma kamal for her father.’
‘The Brahma kamal?’ Kansa said in surprise. ‘But isn’t the flower only found in Swarglok?’
Ugrasena looked at Kansa with a wan smile. ‘Yes it is. But Puspavan is the only place in Mrityulok where the flower is believed to grow.’ He looked forlorn as he said, ‘And it was this very thing that led to all the tragedy later.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Kansa said. ‘Why did Mother want to get the Brahma kamal for grandfather?’
Ugrasena sighed. ‘The flower is supposed to have magical life-giving properties. It is said that if you drink water poured over the petals of the Brahma kamal, it can restore life, or at the very least, make you stronger if you are weak. If you remember, when Lord Shiva attached the elephant’s head to Lord Ganesha’s body, his body gained life only after the Mahadev sprinkled water on his body. That water was sprinkled from a Brahma kamal.’
‘I see,’ nodded Kansa. ‘So Mother thought if she could find the flower at Puspavan, she could restore grandfather’s health by getting him to drink water poured from the magical flower?’
Ugrasena nodded. ‘Yes, that’s what she thought. Mind you, she was not sure that she would find the Brahma kamal at Puspavan. But she felt that it was at least worth a try. After all, various travellers from time to time had mentioned sighting the golden-white petals of the flower on the higher reaches of Puspavan. Padmavati thought if she could somehow get the flower it might restore the old man’s health.’
‘Did she find it?’ Kansa couldn’t contain his curiosity.
Ugrasena didn’t seem to hear him. He was back to narrating the story.
‘Padmavati hiked up the mountain, accompanied by her attendants. Being an avid mountaineer from her early days, she easily walked ahead of the other women in the group. She was wearing the traditional silk dhoti tied around her with the loose end of the garment drawn in between her legs and hemmed in around her waist. Over that, she wore a conservative angvastram leaving her arms free to hack through the forest of Puspavan. It was a welcome break for her and out in the nature, she began to enjoy the scenery. The thought that I would be arriving in a few days buoyed her mood further. However, as it began to get dark, she realized that her companions had been left way behind, owing to the swift pace she had set for herself. She thought she would retrace her steps and meet up with her companions. They could put up camp for the night and the next day, they would start early to look for the Brahma Kamal flower. She turned around and tried retracing her steps. It took her a few minutes to realize that she had gone off track and was now completely lost in the forests of Puspavan. Padmavati was a very brave woman. She did not panic, as others in her situation might have. The forest was known to be inhabited by wild animals that ventured out at night. All her attendants were trained in martial arts, just as she was, and in a camp there would have been no cause for worry. However, alone in the darkness of the night, even a valiant woman like Padmavati would be hard-pressed to take care of herself if a particularly vicious animal were to attack her. Yet she kept her cool and weighed her options. She decided it might help if she were to shout for help. There was a chance that her companions might hear her and find her. She called out, but they had gone over to the other side of Puspavan to search for her, and they could not hear her.’
‘It must have been terrifying for Mother,’ Kansa said, thinking of how Padmavati must have felt, alone in the night, with just her sword to protect her.
Ugrasena looked kindly at him and patting his hand, continued.
‘While her companions could not hear her, someone else did. A Gandharva was sleeping on the tree beneath which Padmavati was standing and shouting for help. His name was Dramil. While he was a Gandharva—a celestial being—he had the blood of an asura. In the world of Asuras, he was known popularly as Godhin. The vile Gandharva was instantly taken by Padmavati’s unnatural beauty and he began to covet her. He knew Padmavati would never give in to his lustful desires of her own will. And he didn’t want to force her as he wanted to enjoy her beauty in peace. So like the craven demon that he was, Dramil used his unholy powers to take my physical form. Having taken my form, he approached Padmavati. She was surprised at seeing who she thought was me at Puspavan, as she had been told earlier that I would arrive after two days. But Dramil was a cunning asura, and he told her that he had wanted to surprise her and arrived earlier than he had planned. He said that upon reaching Vidarbha, Padmavati’s father had told him about her trip to Puspavan. Believing Dramil to be me, Padmavati naively believed all that he told her.’
‘But even if he took your physical form, did she not make out the difference in voice or the mannerisms?’ Kansa was aghast at the possible consequences of his mother confusing an asura with his noble father.
Ugrasena, who had lived for years with the truth of what had happened that day, smiled sadly at his son. ‘Gandharvas have the gift of not only being able to take the physical form of any person that they desire; they can look into your mind and fathom the slightest nuances of the person they want to impersonate—mannerisms, voice, tone—every other aspect of the person gets replicated to perfection. It’s like they can look inside the deepest recesses of your mind. And whoever exists in your mind, anyone that you have ever known, is visible to them as if they were right in front of their eyes. Whatever interaction you have had with anyone can be seen by them as if its happening again in their mind’s eye. And they can observe how a person talks, walks or otherwise conducts himself and can immediately clone those facets to masquerade as that specific person.’
Kansa was pale as the first glimmerings of what must have happened that day on Puspavan began to dawn on him. ‘So Dramil looked into Mother’s mind, and was able to see not just how you looked, but also the exact manner in which you behave with her?’
‘Yes.’ Ugrasena replied quietly.
‘Oh God! Then what happened?’ Kansa asked, gritting his teeth, fearing for the mother who had not once showed any love for him. Ugrasena continued with the story.
‘Thinking that her husband had arrived early to surprise her, Padmavati embraced Dramil. At her touch, he lost whatever constraint he may otherwise have had. Her beauty and the wild environment, coupled with the way she embraced him, made him lust for her even more. He held her close and during the night, the dastardly asura made love to Padmavati. When she got up in the morning, she found herself alone. Dramil was gone. That was the first inkling she had of something being wrong. She knew I would never leave her alone in the forest under any condition. After wandering around in circles, she finally met her companions, who had also been looking for her since the first light of dawn. She asked them if they had come across me. They were surprised at her question as all of them were aware that I was not expected back for another day. Padmavati kept her misgivings to herself but she was now very anxious. Her comp
anions asked her if they should go deeper into the forests of Puspavan to look for the Brahma kamal. But she was impatient to get back to the palace. By now she had started having grave suspicions about whether she had really spent the night with me. She knew the answer lay in Vidarbha. If I was there, she could ask me why I had left her alone in the forest. If, however, I wasn’t there… She didn’t even want to think of what that would mean for her and for everyone else in the royal family. However, more than one tragedy awaited her when she reached the outskirts of Vidarbha. On their way, they were met by a group of the king’s personal bodyguards sent to call them back urgently. The king had taken a drastic turn for the worse during the night. The royal vaid did not believe he would survive the day and he had sent the bodyguards to look for Padmavati and get her back before the king breathed his last. They had brought along a horse for her, in order that she made better time on the way back. For a brief moment, Padmavati forgot what had happened the previous night in the forest, as she desperately rode the horse, spurring him on to an impossible speed. By the time, she reached Vidarbha, the mourning in the streets told her that her father’s soul had already departed his mortal body. A second shock awaited her. I was not at the palace, and as per the guards, I had not arrived yet. Padmavati collapsed before she could reach her chambers. The attendants thought it was the shock of her father’s death but only she knew that wasn’t the real reason.’
Ugrasena paused to wipe a tear from his eyes. Kansa waited for the narration to continue, not daring to breathe as his mind struggled to comprehend what would have happened next.
‘I reached Vidarbha the next day, and upon hearing of the king’s death, and Padmavati’s condition, I rushed to her chambers. I was shocked at seeing her condition. She was pale as death. Seeing me, she took hold of my hand, and crazed with grief, she asked me, ‘Did you come to Vidarbha yesterday? Say you were here…say it.’ Not knowing what she meant, I shook my head as I told her I had just reached Vidarbha. At that she screamed once in unbearable agony and her body went into a series of terrible convulsions. I summoned the royal vaid, who arrived immediately and gave her some medicine to calm her and make her sleep. I sat by her side through the night. She was mumbling incoherently all through the dark hours. That made me increasingly concerned for her. More than once she maniacally mumbled the words “betrayed” and “revenge” in her sleep. It was all unclear to me and I was beginning to realize that there was something other than her father’s death that was plaguing her. The next day, when she got up, she looked physically better but she seemed to have lost her natural effervescence. Despite my repeated entreaties, she refused to explain what was affecting her so acutely. After a few days, I too gave up and let her be. By now, I had been at Vidarbha for more than a month, and was keen to return to Madhuvan with Padmavati. The events related to King Satyaketu’s last rites were also long done and there was no reason to stay there any longer.
‘The night before we were to depart for Madhuvan, Padmavati’s chief attendant came to me and told me the queen requested my presence in the garden. I was pleasantly surprised as Padmavati had not shown much inclination to talk to me or anyone else since my arrival at Vidarbha, and in the past one month, we had barely exchanged a few words. I quickly moved in the direction of the palace garden, excited to meet Padmavati and talk to her. She was sitting alone in the darkest corner of the grounds, and had her back towards me. I gently tapped her on her shoulder to announce my presence. She turned around in shock, as if she were expecting someone else. I was aghast at her appearance. Her hair was untied and she had a wild look in her eyes. Her normally lovely face was white as a sheet and every aspect of her persona exuded fear and some kind of revulsion that I couldn’t quite understand. I was shocked at how she looked, and bending down on my knees, I took her hands in my own. “What’s the matter, my love? What is troubling you?” I asked her gently. She looked me in my eyes then and seemed to draw some strength from deep within her. She whispered, “I am pregnant, Ugrasena.” I looked at her. My expression was a mixture of surprise, happiness and confusion. “Are you sure, my queen?” I asked softly. Then, looking at her fearful expression, I said, “But that’s great news, Padmavati. We are having a child.” Her face betrayed her inner turbulence, but she quelled it in a final attempt to speak what had to be spoken. “This thing…it is not yours!” I stared at her, my mind a raging vacuum of bewildered thoughts. “But…how…why?” I managed to ask. She had a faraway look in her eyes, as she told me, in a monotone, what had happened that night in the forests of Puspavan. I listened in silence, my anger and disgust at the Gandharva’s deceit growing with the passing of each moment. When she came to the point where she got up in the morning and found herself alone, believing me to have left her in the forest by herself, I couldn’t hide my anger at the Gandharva’s act. But my compassion for Padmavati overshadowed whatever anger I may have felt for Dramil in that instant and I held her in a close embrace. We stayed like that for a few minutes, till Padmavati’s ragged breathing became a little normal.’
‘But how could Mother be sure the child wasn’t yours?’ Kansa asked embarrassed at discussing this with his father. ‘I mean, couldn’t she have conceived the child before…before she met Dramil that day in the forest?’ he continued haltingly.
Ugrasena looked closely at his eldest son. He knew the next few moments would decide how Kansa viewed him for the rest of his life. He was torn between speaking the truth and hiding the reality between half-truths. In the end, his kshatriya upbringing that prevented him from prevaricating even in matters such as this, made him share the facts as they were. ‘The last time Padmavati and I shared the same bed was just before she left for Vidarbha. That was a month before she met Dramil. After, I reached Vidarbha, for the entire period of a month that we were there, we did not have any physical relations, out of respect for her father’s recent demise and also because she seemed very disturbed. The only time she was intimate with anyone in those two months, was with Dramil that night,’ Ugrasena paused as he let his words sink in. ‘No, the child was definitely born out of her contact with Dramil.’
‘What happened after she told you about that event?’ Kansa asked, his mind abounding with myriad confused thoughts.
‘We left Vidarbha the next day. Padmavati wanted to abort the child in Vidarbha but I felt it should be done in Madhuvan where we could keep the entire story secret. Immediately after reaching Madhuvan, I summoned the royal vaid and took him into confidence. The last several generations of his family had been in service of the royal family, and I knew I could trust him to keep the matter confidential. However, as fate would have it, when the royal vaid examined your mother, he announced that it was not possible to carry out the abortion without risking Padmavati’s life. While Padmavati tried to persuade the physician to carry out the abortion irrespective of the danger, he was unrelenting and he told her it could not be done. I finally persuaded Padmavati to wait till the delivery was complete before taking any action. Eight months after we reached Madhuvan, Padmavati gave birth to a male child. The first thing she did when she woke up after the surgery was to ask for the child she had delivered. Her personal attendants quickly carried the baby to her bed and handed over the child to her.’
‘So Mother finally had some warm feelings for the baby?’ Kansa asked quietly. Ugrasena ignored the question and continued.
‘Holding the newborn baby in her hands, she looked into his eyes. And then muttering something that to her attendants sounded like “revenge”, she threw the child to the ground with all the force she could muster. The horrified attendants rushed to the child, dreading that he was dead with the force of the fall. But to their surprise and relief, the child lay on the ground unharmed, and alive. Padmavati tried snatching him away from the attendant holding it, but the other attendants, fearing their queen had gone insane, held her back. One of them rushed to me and told me what had happened. I hurried to where Padmavati was and upon reaching there, was greeted by a s
ight that I would never wish to see again. Padmavati held a sharp knife in her hand, a surgeon’s knife, and she had an expression of such repugnant hate writ over her face that even I, who loved her so much, was shocked and scared at the malevolence exuding out of her. The attendant holding the child was cowering in one corner of the room, bravely trying to protect the baby, but fearing for her own life. I moved towards Padmavati, speaking gently to her to try and calm her. At the same time, I motioned to the attendant to leave the room, along with the baby. Padmavati hurled herself towards the retreating figure, but I held her in my arms while the baby was safely led away. Padmavati screamed and cursed with all her might, and then gradually, the rage ebbed as she sagged in my arms. Then she put her palms against my face and whispered, “Ugrasena…that thing…it is evil incarnate! Kill it…promise me it shall never grow up to deceive another woman such as I was deceived by its father!” Saying this, she fainted, lost in the effects of the rage and pain that had consumed her completely.’
Ugrasena ended his story. He sat motionless and it seemed to Kansa as if his father’s mind were somewhere else. Perhaps with his mother, who had died a couple of years back, leaving his father alone.
‘What happened to that baby? He asked finally. Ugrasena was silent.
‘Father! What happened to that baby?’ Kansa pressed Ugrasena, wanting to know the fate of the hapless child born out of a lustful father and a vengeful mother.
‘Did you kill the child?’ Kansa asked, fearing his father’s answer. Ugrasena’s face was frozen and he sat motionless.
Kansa shook his father’s shoulders to get him back to the present. ‘Did you too feel like murdering the child?’ he asked raising his voice. He couldn’t explain why he felt such anger welling up from deep inside him.
THE CURSE OF BRAHMA Page 5