by Ellie Danes
“I miss Colin,” I blurted out. “I miss him so much, and thinking of the good times I had with him, and how we felt about each other, it's about the only thing that's getting me through all of this. Even though I know that those times will never be repeated. They're gone forever, nothing but a memory now.”
Tessa looked up at me, and her eyes were full of a deep and intense compassion. “It doesn't have to be like that! You haven't even given him a chance! You just wrote him off without even letting him know what was really going on.”
“I don't want to drag—”
“Stop saying that, okay? It's a lame excuse. Just give him a chance, damn it! You owe it to him, and you owe it to yourself. And if he turns and runs when he finds out the truth, well then, he was the wrong guy for you anyway, and you'll know it was all a big illusion. But maybe he won't run. Maybe he won't judge you. Maybe, just maybe, he'll love you even more. If there's one thing I've learned in life, Skye, it's that when you experience a connection like that with another human being, you don't just throw it away because times got tough, because you got into a little trouble. No, you hang onto it with every damn ounce of strength you have! You fight for it until the bitter end – and I'm sorry, but you didn't put up a fight at all. You didn't even throw a single punch. You just gave up. So, I'm standing here as your best friend and giving you some tough love. Stop acting like this. You love that guy – now stop this addiction to your own misery, and go out there and give him a freakin' chance, dammit! Come on!”
I nodded – there was nothing I could say in response to all of this, really. She was right. I hadn't put up a fight. I hadn't given him a chance at all... and it was time to fix that.
I got out my phone and typed out a message.
Dear Colin, I've been thinking of you a lot recently. I miss you – I miss us. I've realized that I didn't even give you a chance... I didn't fight for us, I didn't give us a chance. I would really love to see you and talk, if you're not too mad at me. Let me know... - Skye.
I breathed in a deep breath, and then hit “send”.
CHAPTER 22
Colin
I had just gotten home from a dreadful day at the office. A big contract I was supposed to get had fallen through, the property market was looking uncertain, and there had been a monster traffic jam, which had meant that I had gotten home an hour later than usual. Oh, and I had left my phone at home. I had also had to deal with a number of annoying clients and was really not in a great mood at all. My first thought, after walking in, taking off my jacket and putting down my briefcase, was that I needed a whiskey.
I went over and got my tumbler and the bottle of whiskey, but just as I was about to pour myself a glass, I figured that I should probably check my phone before starting to drink, just in case there were any important messages or calls that may have come through while I was at work. I left the whiskey on the table and went over to the kitchen, where I had left my phone. I picked it up – and then almost dropped it again when I saw that there was a message on it from Skye.
With trembling fingers, I opened it and read it, then had to re-read it a couple of times, because I could hardly believe what it said: she wanted to see me again!
I didn't bother typing a reply – it would take too long. I called her right away, and my heart soared as her phone actually rang for a change.
“Come on, Skye, answer, please, answer,” I murmured as it rang.
Sure enough, she finally picked up.
“Colin...”
It was so good to hear her voice again.
“Hi, Skye. I saw your message. Sorry it took a while to get back to you, I left my phone at home and only got back from work now.”
“That's okay.”
“Do you still want to see me?” I asked.
“I do, if you want to see me again after everything I did to you.”
“Of course, I do. Are you free now?”
“Not right now, but I'll be finished working at the restaurant at nine o' clock. You can meet me there if you want.”
“I'll be waiting outside the restaurant at nine.”
“All right. I'll see you then.”
“See you then.”
I cut the call off and then punched my fist into the air and grinned. This was the best thing that had happened to me all day, and the joy surging through my system quickly pushed out any traces of frustration and exhaustion that had been left over. I went over to pour my whiskey, except that now I wasn't drinking to take the edge off a difficult day. No, now I was drinking to celebrate a new future.
LATER THAT EVENING
I paced back and forth along the sidewalk, checking my watch obsessively. It was two minutes after nine... and now three minutes after nine. Come on, Skye, come on, where are you?
Finally, she walked out of the door. I had to really do my best not to sprint up to her and throw my arms around her, and try to remain calm and dispassionate. After all, it wasn't as if we were back together... yet. I walked up to her with a smile, and while there were tears in her eyes, she beamed a broad, genuine smile at me as well.
“It's good to see you,” she said. “It's really good to see you.”
“I've missed you,” I replied. “I've missed you very much.”
We gave each other a short hug, and it was a little awkward, but I could nonetheless feel the fires of attraction being actively rekindled within me. I suspected the same sort of thing was going on inside her, judging from the looks she kept throwing me. She remained guarded, however, and it was apparent that she was having a great deal of difficulty right now. I needed to be as gentle with her as possible.
“Where would you like to go?” I asked.
“Um, somewhere where I can have a drink, I guess,” she said. “There's a little dive bar just three blocks from here, and it's usually pretty empty on weeknights. Let's just go there and chat over a beer, all right?”
I nodded. “Sounds good. Let's go.”
At the bar, they didn't have much in the way of aged single malt whiskey – well, actually they didn't have any at all, so I reluctantly ordered a beer. They did have some cheap red wine, and Skye ordered a glass of that, which she insisted on paying for herself.
We went to a small table in a quiet corner of the bar and sat down opposite each other. I stared at her for a few moments... God, she was gorgeous.
“So,” I began, “what would you like to tell me?”
She drew in a deep breath, and then let out a long sigh. “Give me a second.”
She suddenly drank a huge gulp of wine, over half of her glass. She let it go down, and then after a few moments, she nodded.
“Well, here goes,” she said. “I've told you a little bit about my past – about running away and taking the money.”
“Yes. And I told you, that was the right thing to do. You did what you had to do to escape your evil and abusive father.”
“I know. But there's more. You see, I never really had a home after that. I stayed here and there, and even spent some time sleeping in parks or even on the street. The reason I never told you where I live is because I live at the church with the nuns. Essentially, it’s a homeless shelter of sorts, only my place there is a little more permanent. The nuns kind of took me in.”
I nodded. “All right. Go on.”
“I've been working hard and trying to save money so that I can at least move out and get a place of my own. And, of course, I took the job at the dance school so that I can pursue my dream of becoming a professional dancer one day... whenever that may be.”
“I see. Well, I'm glad that you're telling me all of this now. And I don't think of you any differently, knowing this stuff.”
She smiled. “Thank you, Colin... you truly are such a kind-hearted, compassionate man... But there's more, I'm not done yet.”
“All right, continue... and don't feel like you need to hold anything back, seriously.”
“Something from my past recently came back to bite me. There was this
guy—”
“That bald scumbag with all the tattoos?” I asked.
She looked a little surprised that I knew this. “Uh, yeah, him. He followed me around for a while, and eventually confronted me. He said that he knew my dad, and that my dad wanted the ten grand back. He made some threats. One of those being if I didn't get the money back to him in a week, undesirable things would happen.”
“So, what did you do?”
She sighed and shook her head sadly. “Remember how you helped me to win those dance lessons at my school?”
“I do, yes.”
“Well, I made up a story about my father having cancer and needing urgent treatment, and asked my manager if she could give me a cash refund on the classes. She did it. I took the money and paid the guy... and now I've been left with almost nothing. All I have to my name is a few hundred dollars now. That's why I've been working such long hours. And I was so ashamed, and so stubborn about not letting anyone help me, that I told you I couldn't see you anymore. And I really, really didn't want to drag you into this mess. It's my mess, you see, and I really didn't want anyone else to be affected by it. I didn't want that evil man to... he has a gun, and he made threats against you, Colin. I would never have been able to live with myself if you got shot or something, so that's why I had to, I had to...”
She trailed off and started sobbing softly. I reached across the table and gently put my hands over hers and squeezed them softly.
“Listen to me, Skye,” I said. “I appreciate how considerate you are in not wanting to involve me in this, but there's no way I can step aside and allow this to happen, not when I have the means to solve these problems... and not when I care so very, very deeply about you. I'd give up everything I have, everything I own, just to be with you. Nobody I've ever met has made me feel the way you make me feel. Nobody – and that's more special and precious than all of the money in the world.”
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “You really mean that?” she asked. “Do you really, really mean that?”
“With all my heart. Now come on, let's get out of here and get over to that shelter. You've spent your last night there. I want you to get all your things from there and pack them up – and then we're going to my place. You're going to live with me from now on. And quit your job at this restaurant. That manager is a total jerk; I've seen how he treats the staff, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. Keep your job at the dance studio though... Because I don't want you to see this as charity, okay? Because it's not.”
She nodded and squeezed my hands. “Thank you, Colin,” she murmured. “You're the most amazing person I've ever met. Thank you... thank you so much.”
“Come on,” I said with a smile, emotion running joyfully through me in a gush of bright colors. “It's time to go. It's time to leave your old life behind and take your first steps into a new life...”
CHAPTER 23
Skye
I woke up in Colin's bed and felt amazing. He had already gone to work, and for the first time in I don't know how long, I had been able to sleep in. Today I was going to hand in my notice at the restaurant – well, I knew that, but nobody else did. I couldn't wait to see the look on my manager's face, though. That jerk thought he owned me. Finally, things had started to look up in my life, and I no longer had to work myself to death just to scrape by.
I had accepted Colin's help on the condition that I be allowed to work and pay him a portion of my earnings every month. He and I had both agreed that what he was doing wasn't charity, and that was especially important to me. I didn't ever want to be seen as a moocher, as someone who got lucky and hitched a ride off of someone else's success. Still, Colin had made a good point when he and I had talked things over in depth: it was all well and good to want to pay my own way in life, but considering that I’d had almost everything I owned stolen from me by that bald tattooed thug, it was okay to accept a little financial generosity from someone who cared about me. And besides, if I kept working two jobs from early morning until late at night six days a week, there was no way I would ever get good enough at dancing to go pro one day. Colin had said that I shouldn't look at his offer of financial help as a donation, but as an investment; when I was a successful dancer one day, then I could pay him back for what he had done for me – if I wanted to.
I did want to, of course. I knew that he would probably refuse to take any money from me, even if I did one day make it as a successful professional dancer, but I didn't care. I would give it to him anyway, and if he refused to accept it, we could donate it to charity. So, either I would pay him back, or I would pay it forward, but whatever happened, I was determined to pay my dues for the opportunity that had been handed to me.
After I finished up my final week at the restaurant, I would only be working at the dance studio, and I would have plenty of free time to practice my routines and to learn new moves. It was a terrible pity that I no longer had access to those classes I had won, but hey, you couldn't have everything, could you? And this situation was so much better than the one I had just been in a day ago. It was almost like I had died and been reborn in a new and wonderful life. Losing out on a couple of dance lessons was a fair enough price to pay for something like that.
I got out of bed, had a shower, sent Colin a message telling him I missed him already and then got dressed for work.
I still had a long way to go before I got used to living in this beautiful penthouse. Being so used to keeping my stuff in a locker, I kept on panicking and searching for a lock that wasn't there every time I closed the closet that I now kept my clothes in. And it was so weird being in a place that was this quiet all the time! I was so used to having noise around me, people talking and making noise and moving around. Here the only sounds were those that I made. It was actually pretty disconcerting, but I figured that I would eventually get used to it.
I left the building and took the subway to the restaurant, a great big smile on my face. Tessa saw me coming in and grinned as she saw my smile. I greeted the other waiters and the kitchen staff more cheerfully than I had in a very long time.
“Wow, Skye, what's gotten into you?” asked Tessa with a warm smile and a laugh. “You look like you've just won the freakin' lottery!”
“I feel like I did win the lottery, actually!” I said to her. “I'll tell you all about it later though.”
“Hey!” the manager snapped as he stormed into the kitchen, silencing everyone in there with his foul mood and cantankerous attitude. “You just walked in five minutes late, Skye! If you think I won't just kick your useless ass outta here and get me a new waitress who's actually reliable, then think again! I know how badly you need this job, so I think I'm gonna give you a creative assignment today.” He smiled evilly. “Hmm, how about you go and scrub the bathrooms and the toilets down, huh? Make sure those urinals in the men's room are so clean you could eat off 'em. In fact, maybe I'll make you eat something off 'em just to make sure you do a good job!”
I laughed. “Hmm, um... no. No, I don't think I feel like doing that.”
“What?!” he roared, his eyes bulging with anger. “You don't get to pick and choose what you do around here! You do whatever the hell I freakin' tell you to do!”
“Not for much longer,” I said, still smiling. “I'm handing in my one week notice as of now. I'm quitting this job.”
“You... you can't quit!”
“Oh, yes, I can. I'm not your slave. Here's my notice – and I've already mailed a copy to the owner, so he knows – one week from today. That's my legal obligation taken care of. And you can't make me scrub the toilets, because that isn't in my job description. You know it, and I know it, and if you try to force me to do it, I'll take you to court.”
“She's got a multi-millionaire boyfriend now,” Tessa added with a cheeky grin, “so she can afford a really good lawyer.”
The manager stared at me with anger ablaze in his eyes but he snatched my resignation out of my hand and stormed off without anothe
r word. He was beaten and he knew it, as did everyone else. The instant he left the room, they all smiled. It felt great... really great.
THAT EVENING
I had just finished sweeping the dance studio, and since I was alone, I figured I'd get some dance practice. I put on the music for my main routine – the one I'd been doing all these years – and started to dance. I didn't have to think about the moves, I didn't have to try to concentrate, because the music was flowing through me, vibrating every particle in my body with its glorious, energetic waves. My muscles were moving in perfect time to the beat, which felt as if it was fusing with my very soul.
I danced with more passion and intensity and raw fire than I had in... well, a very long time. I danced for the pain I'd been through, I danced for the sadness and the sorrow and the despair – but also for the joy, for redemption, for new hope... and it was glorious. I lost track of time, and forgot where I was, and all that mattered was the music and how I was moving to it.
Eventually the song faded out, and I finished my dance and stood in the soft half-light just panting and sweating, frozen in the last position of dance.
“That was even better than the first time I saw it.”
I opened my eyes and saw Gwen standing there.
“Oh, Gwen,” I said. “I didn't know you were here.”
She held up her phone. “Forgot this damn thing again and had to come back for it. I'm always leaving it lying around. But I'm glad I forgot it, because if I hadn't have forgotten it, I wouldn't have gotten to see that magnificent performance. You know, you really should reconsider the refund on those classes... Have you already used the cash? Because you're such a talented dancer. I would love to see you here in our classes. We could really help you to unlock your full potential.”
I sighed and shook my head. “I've already used the money, Gwen. I had to... it was a serious emergency.”
“I know, I know... It just seems like such a waste. You really do have tremendous raw talent. You're a true natural, the rhythm just flows so beautifully through you. I hope, though, that the money will help your father. How is he?”