He smiled back.
She rubbed his arm and then ran her fingers through his hair.
His eyes dropped down.
He saw the chain hanging around her neck.
Then he saw the half-heart pendant hanging there too.
Confusion crossed his face. His eyes flashed back to hers.
She smiled again.
“Now we can be together,” she whispered. “Forever.”
Thirty-five
“Just you and me, Johnny,” she whispered into his ear as she fingered the half-heart pendant.
“What?” John sat back from her.
“Now that Helen’s gone, we can be together.”
She leaned closer to him.
“I know it’s a bad time to talk about this,” she said as emotions swept across her. “I know I shouldn’t. But this is our chance. At least we still have each other. At least this way we can protect each other and be together now for always.”
John stared deep into her eyes.
Is this some kind of joke?
He tried to read her face, to work out what she was thinking, but he couldn’t.
Is she serious?
“Zoe, look –”
“I know what you’re going to say,” she continued. “But I don’t want you to think about it now. You’re too emotional because of all the events that have happened. I understand that, I really do, Johnny. But I’ve been thinking as I drove back here. Think of it this way, think that maybe it’s Fate that has brought us together. Maybe it was supposed to work out this way. Maybe we were destined to be together. Did you ever think of it like that?”
John shook his head. “This is crazy.”
“No, no it’s not. See this?” Zoe lifted the half-heart gold pendant from her neck and held it out for him to see. “Helen gave me this, Johnny. She gave me this, just before she died. It’s a sign, Johnny. A sign that we can now be together.”
John watched her face. Emotions flowed and changed the way she looked. One second she was like a scared child, and then the next she looked joyous and more excited than ever. But there were other emotions mixed in; emotions John hadn’t seen before.
He discovered he could no longer read her as easily as he used to.
Kneeling now, she moved closer to him, until she was by his side and looking up into his eyes.
“I love you, Johnny,” she whispered.
John turned away from her.
“Don’t talk like that,” he said.
“I do. I want you.”
“We don’t always get what we want, Zoe.”
“Some of us do.”
There was silence between them.
John turned back to face her.
She was sitting on her haunches, her arms crossed in front of her. Worry crossed her brow, but her mouth was bent into a half-smile.
He couldn’t see the half-heart pendant now. He could only see the chain disappearing under her shirt. She had hidden the pendant from his view.
“Untie me, Zoe,” John said.
She didn’t reply. She just stared at him.
Something’s not right…
“Untie me, please, Zoe,” John repeated, keeping his growing anger in check.
Zoe shook her head. “I don’t think so, Johnny. Not yet.”
“You’ll untie me!” his voice raised to a yell.
“No, I won’t.”
“Do it now!”
“Not until you understand,” she said as she stood up and walked to the kitchenette. “Not until you come to your senses and see what’s right.”
“I know what’s right,” John’s eyes followed her. “And I know what’s crazy.”
Zoe stopped at the sink and poured herself a glass of water. She began to drink it, ignoring John completely.
“You’ll untie me Zoe.” John continued, keeping his anger in check. Trying hard not to lose it and push her over the edge like Saturday night.
She put the glass down on the counter and turned to face him.
“Make me,” she said.
“Huh?”
“Make me untie you.”
Has she lost it? John wondered. Did the events at Redlingford shock her so much that she’s lost her mind? Is she as crazy as Fox? Or worse?
“I can’t,” he found himself answering her.
“Well, you’ll just have to stay there,” she crossed her arms.
“Zoe…”
She smiled at him, “Unless…”
“Unless what?”
She walked around the counter and leaned over to him. The sun shone on her hair, making the braids look golden. It brought back to John the warm memories of finding her on the sofa, meeting her, spending time and shopping with her.
Did all this begin just three days ago?
“Unless you tell me you love me,” she smiled at him.
“Zoe, don’t…” he whispered and looked away.
“If you can’t say it, then I can’t unchain you.”
“I can’t,” John replied through gritted teeth. “I won’t.”
Zoe’s eyes fell to the ground and sadness crossed her face.
John felt sorry for her for a split second. But then the stiffness in his neck and his sore arms and numb body reminded him that she could change the situation they were both in.
But she was choosing not to.
Her eyes darted back to his, as if she could hear the thoughts in his head.
“You’ll understand soon,” she replied.
“Zoe,” John closed his eyes and concentrated on keeping his voice quiet and calm. “This is not a game. We’ve got some serious problems here and I want to help you. I really do. I want to help you get away from Fox and I want to make sure we both get out of here safely. I can’t do any of that tied to this chair. Untie me and we’ll talk. We’ll make a plan and then we’ll hunt down Fox and make him pay.”
He opened his eyes.
She was standing by him, leaning against the side of one of the pews running down the wooden table.
“You’d really do that?” her voice sounded different now. “You’d really protect me against Ricky?”
John nodded, “You know I would.”
“You’d protect me against such terrible danger?”
“Yes.”
“Risking everything for me?”
What can I say?
“Yes,” he replied, trying to stay calm.
“So, you do love me?”
John sighed deeply.
“You’d do that, you’d fight Ricky because you love me, right?” she said again.
“I’ll do it because he needs to be stopped.” John continued. “He needs to be shown you can’t do this to people. I have to do it because of what he did to Helen. He has to pay. Helen deserves to be avenged for all the pain he caused her. And for all the pain he caused you too.”
“You mean that?” her voice sounded small and childlike.
“I do,” John stared into her eyes and smiled. “But I can’t do it all tied to this chair, now can I?”
She smiled back.
Yes, he thought. I’ve got her now.
She walked over to him and smiled once more. She ran her hand along the side of his cheek.
“You’re the best, Johnny,” she said. “I’m glad you’re here for me.”
“Untie me, Zoe,” he prompted again.
She stepped to his side and leaned behind him.
He could hear the clatter of metal on metal and could feel the weight of her hands on his numb wrists.
Finally!
She leaned back and placed a kiss on his forehead.
John smiled and pushed forward, bringing his hands free.
He heard the clatter as his arms stopped behind his back.
Huh?
He pulled harder.
His arms would not obey. They stayed behind his back. The handcuffs held tight.
He looked up at Zoe as he slipped the handcuffs up the metal rungs of the chair, searching despera
tely for freedom.
There wasn’t any.
“Zoe…” he whispered.
She took a step backwards.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Sorry, my love,” she said. “I can’t. I can’t let you go.”
“What?” the anger began to build again. “Look, Zoe, this has gone far enough. This isn’t funny any more. It never was! Now, untie me!”
“I can’t,” she continued. “Not until I know you trust me.”
“Trust you?” John was amazed as he pulled forward with his hands once more. “I’m tied to a chair and you won’t let me be free. How can I trust you?”
“I’ll never hurt you, Johnny,” she replied. “Unless you force me to.”
John stopped his struggling and stared at her.
What?
She looked totally different to him now, but he couldn’t work out why.
“Hurt me?” he was confused.
“I don’t want to,” she replied. “But you have to realise we need to play this out by my rules.”
“Rules?”
Whose game is this?
John leaned forward again, tugging once more at the handcuffs. They bit into his wrists, but he didn’t care. He had to get free.
“What rules?” he continued. “This isn’t some game, Zoe. This is serious shit. This is life and death!”
“I know,” she replied.
“People have died, Zoe. This is serious!”
She nodded. “I know that, I just wanted to make sure you do.”
“Believe me,” John shook his head. “I’ve just been told my wife has been killed! I know how serious this whole fucking thing is. We need to work together to help each other through this.”
Zoe smiled then and her worried face changed.
“I’m just glad you finally understand,” she said to him as she walked closer. “I think together we’ll be unstoppable.”
John nodded, “I agree. We’ll work together on this.”
“You and me?”
“You and me.”
Zoe stopped in front of him and reached over to the counter. She moved his glass to one side and picked up the steak knife.
“I’m sorry for what I did, Johnny,” she said as she knelt down in front of him.
“It’s okay,” John replied.
Is that all you can say?
What else can I say? I have to play by her rules! It’s still the only way she’ll untie me.
“I thought it was for the best.” Her head dropped to the floor. “If there were any other way, you know I would have done it.”
“As long as you did what you thought was right.”
“I did.”
He could feel her hands on his legs. Then he heard the knife cutting through the ropes around his ankles.
Her body shook as she cut through the rope.
John stared at the top of her head, at the pink streaks of blood in her hair and wrapped in her braids.
Helen, so much blood, he thought. I’m so sorry.
“You don’t blame me, do you?” she asked as the knife cut through the bindings on his right ankle. “You don’t blame me for all that happened?”
Freedom.
So close.
“Of course not,” John replied. His foot came free from the chair and he rested it flat on the floor. Then he stretched it out in front of him, his stiff muscles screaming for relief.
“Good,” she moved across and started cutting into the rope around his left ankle. “Because none of it was my fault.”
“I know that, Zoe.”
Almost there.
“I did what I had to do.”
“I know.”
Almost free!
“I didn’t know it would end this way. I really didn’t.”
“I understand.”
The knife cut through the rope and John’s left leg was free too. He stretched it out next to his right. Both ankles were sore and pins and needles began to flood them. From where he sat, John thought both ankles looked swollen. There was some blood on the top of his shoes, probably from the rope biting through the skin.
Then he noticed the stain from where he had urinated. It reached across his pants to his hip and stretched from the bottom of his shirt to just above his knees. The stain was mostly dry now, but John wanted to get out of the jeans and shirt as soon as the pins and needles passed.
Zoe sat back on her haunches and smiled at him.
“That better?” she asked.
John smiled back.
“Much better, thank you.”
“I’m glad. I only want to make you happy.”
“Good,” he nodded his head.
She smiled at him and reached out and touched his cheek again.
“I’d do anything for you,” she said.
John nodded, “I know.”
He leaned forward, looked over his shoulder and then looked back at her.
“The handcuffs,” he said.
Zoe nodded, “I know.”
John waited.
“Can you remove them, please?” he asked.
Her face fell.
“No,” she whispered.
John stared at her.
He wanted to reach out and strike her. For the first time he thought about slapping her. He couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but the anger was building and he felt he needed to do something to make her see he was in charge.
But I’m not, he thought. While I’m tied to this chair, she is!
And he knew that if he did hit her or yell at her, he’d push her to the edge like he did Saturday night. And there was no telling what would happen then.
He didn’t want to do that. It was his anger that got him into this situation in the first place. It was his anger that had forced her to leave him here and go and face Fox alone. Maybe it was even his anger that had caused Helen to be killed.
Oh, Helen, he thought. If only I’d kept calm on Saturday night, maybe I could’ve been there to save you. It’s all my fault.
He knew he couldn’t show his anger. He knew he couldn’t act like Fox, even though he wanted to.
Calm down, he told himself. You’re halfway to freedom. Take your time and you’ll be free soon enough. Don’t ruin your chances again!
He nodded to himself as he looked at her, trying hard to swallow his anger and calm down.
Don’t lose your cool. Play it calm.
I’ll try.
Just think about where your anger has led you so far.
I know.
And what you’ve lost.
Helen, my God. Helen, I’m so sorry. I could’ve saved you. If only…
If only…
He let his head drop to his chest and he closed his eyes. Suddenly, his sadness returned.
Play the game…
“It’s all my fault,” he whispered.
“I know,” Zoe whispered back.
The world around him spun out of control as her words entered his mind.
He lifted his head.
She was staring at him.
He stared back and found himself lost in her deep brown eyes once more.
She reached out to him.
He waited for her touch.
But the cold steel blade of the steak knife pricked his cheek.
He shot his body back in the chair, his back collapsing onto his arms, causing his shoulder joints to strain, sending pain shooting through him.
Zoe leaned forward.
Her eyes never once leaving his.
She traced his cheek with the blade of the steak knife.
He could feel the cold steel as it moved lightly across his skin. Zoe held the knife firmly, pressing down, but not enough to break the skin and make him bleed. Just enough so he could feel it, and think about what it could do.
She dropped the blade down further, from his cheek across his chin and down his throat, sliding roughly over his Adam’s apple and to his chest.
John was holding his breath.
He didn’t dare breathe.
His eyes never left hers.
They stared at each other, entwined, locked.
The knife traced across his chest, sending dull pain through him as it crossed over his claw wounds.
She’s crazy!
“Zoe…” he whispered to her, but it had no effect.
She continued to stare at him.
“Please…” he muttered.
She dragged the knife across to his left shoulder. It circled his shoulder once, then twice, before coming to a stop. She held the tip of the blade balancing on its point in the middle of his shoulder.
“How does it feel, Johnny?” she asked him without blinking.
“Huh?” John didn’t know what else to say.
“How does it feel to have something you love taken away?”
“Zoe, what are you talking about?” John was confused. She wasn’t making any sense.
“Does it hurt, Johnny?”
“Zoe, please…”
“Does it?”
Her face changed. Suddenly it became darker. A snarl formed on her lips.
“Does it?” she yelled at him.
“Yes,” he replied quickly. “Yes, it does! It hurts!”
She tilted her head to one side and stared at him. Her brow creased and the small scar in her left eyebrow disappeared as she did so. After a pause, she leaned forward and sniffed at the air.
“Is that fear I smell?” she asked him. “Or just more of your piss?”
“Zoe, what are you doing? What’s wrong with you?” he pleaded. “Stop it! Please!”
“I don’t want you to feel fear, Johnny,” she replied, straightening her head. “Not fear. That’s not right. I want you to feel pain!”
Her right hand moved quickly.
He didn’t have time to react.
He screamed.
The left side of his body erupted in agony as she buried the knife deep into his shoulder. The skin and muscle parted like butter as the knife pushed downwards and slipped into his body all the way up to its handle. It jagged off to one side, his shoulder bone deflecting the blade slightly, making the knife stick out at a weird angle.
“You feel that, Johnny?” she asked through his screaming. “Do you feel the pain now?”
He went light-headed as he looked down at his left shoulder and saw the knife sticking out. His brain seemed to unravel. Almost as if what he saw wasn’t real.
He couldn’t believe it was.
It can’t be!
But the pain was excruciating.
Love Lies Dying Page 31