by Soraya Lane
“Wine?” Noah called out.
Bella groaned, wishing she could say yes. “I can’t.”
Noah appeared. The living room and kitchen were open plan, with a separate lounge that served as a TV room off to the side. She was stretched out on the sofa in the living area, enjoying the silence.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” he asked, grinning like he thought it was the funniest joke in the world.
“No. I’m going out.”
He frowned. “You have plans?”
“I didn’t realize I had to ask your permission.” She liked the idea of him realizing how exhausting it was to be on sole parent duty all day and night.
“I was hoping to head out for a beer, but I can stay home. It’s not a biggie.” He shrugged. “I only just figured out what day of the week it was when one of the guys sent me a text earlier to say it was beer Friday.”
Bella smirked to herself. “Beer Friday? Not with these little ones around.” Then she relented a bit. Noah had given up his night out pretty quickly. “I have no idea how parents manage to have a life outside of kids,” she added.
“I think that’s half the problem,” Noah said, disappearing again. If she bothered to crane her neck, she would have been able to keep watching him, but she was too tired and too lazy.
She shut her eyes again, knowing she needed to head upstairs and get ready, but not wanting to just yet. But she also had to tell Noah where she was going, in case something happened and he needed to get in touch with her.
“Here,” he said, interrupting her thoughts. She looked up to find him standing over her, a half glass of wine in hand. “It’ll help you unwind.”
She took it, grateful that she could sit for a little. “Thanks.” Although she was starting to worry; she was relying on her nightly glass of wine a little too much these days!
“I thought my job was full on, but those kids? Damn,” he swore.
Bella grinned. “Yup. I miss so much about my old life.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t even get me started,” she said. “I mean, aside from the obvious with Lila and Gray, I miss reading until 2:00 a.m. without worrying that if I don’t have a few hours of sleep by that time, I might miss out on any at all.”
“Not having to worry about eating right because it’s only you,” Noah interjected.
“Or having to get home by a certain time.”
They both laughed.
“And then I look at Will and the obsessive way he plays Spiderman, or the thoughtful way Cooper constructs things from blocks, or the pictures they paint me that I get to stick on the fridge, and I know that no matter what I miss, they’re the most important people in my world and probably always will be.”
They sat in silence. Bella sipped her wine, waiting the tears out, knowing that if she just sat quietly and stopped thinking about the past, they’d eventually pass.
“You have a tat?” Noah suddenly asked. “I didn’t pick you as the type to get ink.” She glanced down, saw that with the arms of her blouse pushed up, tonight it had been in plain view. It surprised her he hadn’t glimpsed it before now.
“Just two letters,” she said, holding the inside of her wrist out for him to look at. “I got it just after the service.”
“You’ve changed since they passed,” he said. “More than just what you’ve lost—it’s changed your outlook or something.”
The L and G were just tiny, barely there bits of ink, but she liked it. True, she’d never wanted a tattoo before, but at the time it had felt right, and it still did.
“Maybe that’s why I said yes to going on a date tonight,” she muttered.
Noah almost dropped his beer on the tile floor. “You did what?”
She shrugged. “It’s just a drink. I’ll be a couple of hours max, so if you want to head out after, we can just tag in.”
The boys came running in then. They’d been happily playing in Cooper’s bedroom but had obviously tired of whatever it was they’d been doing.
If Noah had been a dog, she bet the hairs on his back would have been raised, bristled like he was about to have a standoff, teeth bared. The way he was looking at her was . . . primitive somehow. Like he had a claim on her.
“Someone you’ve been seeing?” he asked, and she watched as he got up and went back into the kitchen. He was making the kids pizza again because they’d loved it the first time, and she got up to join him, settling on the other side of the counter to give him some space.
“Long story, but my friend organized it. I don’t actually know the guy that well, but he’s picking me up at eight.”
Noah set the knife down and stared at Bella. She reached over to steal a piece of cheese. “Hold up. You don’t know him, but he’s coming to the house?”
She shrugged. “I know where he works. He’s not a complete stranger.”
Noah was frowning. “You don’t strike me as the blind-date type.”
“Serena will kill me if I pull out, so I’m going along with it. She’s on some crusade to honor Lila’s wish and find me love.”
His laugh was low, husky. “I wonder what she would have thought if she’d known about our kiss?” Noah raised an eyebrow, staring at her until she dropped her gaze and looked down at her wine. She glanced at the boys. They’d been way too quiet since they’d come downstairs, no doubt ears flapping as they listened to the conversation he was having with Bella.
Bella glared at Noah. They’d sworn never to speak about what had happened between them; she’d practically begged him not to tell her sister, and now he’d just gone and said it out loud. And it wasn’t the first time he’d brought it up since arriving back, which was twice too many times for her liking.
“You’re lucky I didn’t slap you when you tried it on,” she said, not wanting him to know how much he’d rattled her. “And I think we can both agree that nothing like that will ever be happening again.”
“Slap me? Sweetheart, you were practically begging for it.”
Her jaw hit the floor. “Noah!” she hissed, glancing at the boys. “I was not.”
“I’m guessing that’s why you don’t usually have more than two glasses of wine,” he said with a grin, sliding the pizzas into the oven once he’d finished the toppings. They were pretty simple—just cheese, pineapple, and ham for the boys, with extra vegetables on theirs. “Don’t trust yourself to behave?”
If she could have thumped him, then she would have—or worse—but when the boys looked at her, she just smiled sweetly, like Noah teasing her and talking about something he knew infuriated her was perfectly normal.
“Why did Noah kiss you?” Will asked.
Bella dropped her forehead to the counter, realizing the boys had heard everything. “No more questions,” she muttered. “Seriously, Noah, I’m going to kill you for this.”
“Didn’t you like it?” Cooper asked. “I wouldn’t like a girl kissing me. Except for Mommy. Or you.”
She slowly raised her head. Just like that, the boys had pulled her from her own thoughts, made her smile and forget about being annoyed with Noah—just like that.
“Hey, do we have any pie?” she asked Cooper.
“I dunno. Why?”
She laughed. “Because if we do, I reckon we should throw it at Noah. Get him all smooshy with it all over his face.”
Noah’s lips kicked up at the sides again, his smile infectious. “If you stay home, I’ll let you.”
His smile might have been mischievous, but she knew something about her going on a date had rattled him, and after what he’d just put her through, she was more determined to go than she’d been all day.
“Sorry, no can do.”
He bent over, whispering something to the boys.
“I missed that,” she said, leaning in closer.
“Noah said you had cooties anyway,” Will whispered.
“Oh, did he now?” she muttered, flicking a piece of cheese at Noah and receiving a slow smile for her efforts.
“Do that again, and I’ll—”
“What?” she asked innocently. “You’ll do what, Noah?” Bella felt alive for the first time since the accident, actually enjoying herself without having to try so hard. She flicked another piece of cheese.
“Uh-oh,” Cooper said, laughing when Noah grabbed them both down from the bench before firing a piece of capsicum at her.
“And it’s war,” Noah said.
The boys ran at her, and Bella bolted, jumping off her chair and running for the stairs.
“Get any food in my hair, and I’ll—”
“What?” Noah called out, leaping at her and grabbing her by the arm so the boys could tackle her and topple her down on the first few steps of the stairs.
He was looking down at her, grinning as the boys pinned her. Noah was holding a piece of tomato in his hand, but he didn’t throw it, just watched as they pretended to get her, play punching as she tickled.
“I’ll unleash these little monsters on you,” he finally finished, gaze never leaving hers.
Bella kept tickling the boys, but she never took her eyes from Noah, watching the way he was looking at her. She had to admit that he wasn’t as much of a douchebag as she’d once thought. It was nice to laugh, to smile just for the hell of it. There was something upbeat about him that was impossible not to feed off.
“How about we let Bella go get ready for her hot date,” he told the boys.
They groaned and held on to her tight, and she cuddled them right back. “How about we find a DVD to watch, eat those pizzas the second they come out of the oven, and then have a bath before bed? I’m not going out until later.”
She didn’t want them to be anxious that she was leaving, and after being away from them all day, she was kind of looking forward to hanging out with them for a bit.
“A few hours away from us, and you can’t get enough, huh?” Noah asked, holding out his hand.
“A day away from these little rascals, and I’m feeling all soppy about leaving the house again at all,” she confessed, leaving them to rough and tumble as she pulled up.
Bella looked up at Noah, wished she hadn’t put her palm in his. There was something about him that had always made her want to run a mile in the opposite direction, and tonight was no different. His stare, the blue gaze that seemed so piercing yet so magnetic, the memory of exactly what his lips had felt like on hers—too hot, too intense, too damn intoxicating. She liked to stay in control, to know exactly what she was doing and when, and Noah tipped her way too far in the opposite direction.
“You know, I thought it would be you all pissed off with me when it came to the opposite sex,” he said, releasing her hand but still holding her gaze.
“Let’s not get carried away,” she muttered. “I’m just going out for a drink. You’re not going to wake up and find a half-naked stranger making himself coffee in the kitchen.”
He laughed. “You sound fairly sure about that.”
“That’s because I am. I don’t do one-night stands—never have. I’m a relationship kind of girl.”
“Nothing wrong with having fun,” he joked. Or at least she thought he was joking. “And I don’t recall you worrying about whether or not we were in a relationship when you kissed me in your parents’ kitchen.”
“Enough with the kiss story!” she hissed, balling her fist and connecting with his bicep. “Mention that again, and I’ll knock you out.” She actually had no idea how she’d do that unless she had a hunk of wood or metal in her hand, but still.
Noah caught her hand, laughing when she winced. “If you didn’t get so worked up every time I mentioned it, it’d be no fun, and I’d stop.”
She hated that he had hold of her, the way she felt when she was so close to him. Noah was nothing like her type, never had been, never would be. But still. He unsettled her, and she didn’t like it one bit.
The boys tackled her around the legs again, almost dropping her, and Noah let her go.
“Pizza,” she mumbled. “Let’s go check the pizza.”
“Do you always just change the subject instead of dealing with stuff?” he asked. She could tell he was loving this, his smile never wavering, even as he walked backward into the kitchen, still watching her.
“When it comes to you? Yeah,” she told him. “Now stop talking and just deal with the pizza. Please.”
Noah shrugged. “Come on, boys—you heard her.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
March 2011
Dear Bella,
Something happened between you and Noah, didn’t it? I quizzed him before we left, but he wouldn’t say a word. Come on, tell me! Your letters are the only thing that keeps me going over here. I read them over and over every night, and I need some gossip. I keep telling you how great he is, but man, you guys always seem to rub each other the wrong way. You’re gorgeous, he’s gorgeous, you’re both fab—I just don’t get why you always end up pissed at each other. No, scrap that: you get pissed off with him, and he always finds the whole thing insanely amusing. At least give him a chance to just be your friend—it would be great if we could actually hang out with both of you at the same time. If you knew what he’d been through, what he’s come from, I think you’d feel differently about him. But that’s his story to tell, and he doesn’t seem to share a lot with anyone but Gray. And me sometimes. Anyway, just have a few drinks with him one night, and let him open up a little. Personally, I reckon you guys were getting it on in Mom and Dad’s kitchen after Will’s christening, but Gray just keeps telling me I should be an author since I’m so good at coming up with stories.
See you next week, love you. Hugs for the boys.
Lila xxoo
Bella put her lip gloss down and listened out for the boys. She almost wanted an excuse not to go, wished one of them would wake and call out for her so she could cancel, but so far they hadn’t made a peep. She sighed and walked out of the bathroom, spritzing herself with a little perfume and grabbing her purse. She checked she had her phone and credit card, glanced one last time in the mirror, and then quickly looked away. She was wearing jeans and heels, a black silk blouse unbuttoned a little lower than she usually would, her diamond “B” necklace hanging on the fine platinum chain around her neck. She wasn’t big on jewelry, but it was the one thing she always felt bare without.
She quickly put away the letter she’d been reading, skimming over the words because she almost knew it by heart. There was something about the way her sister had always tried to push her toward Noah that was unsettling her, especially when it was impossible not to check him out when he walked downstairs half-naked in the mornings, wearing just his boxer shorts. Not to mention the fact that she was struggling to peg him as the complete idiot she’d always seen him as. Or maybe it was just the fact she was going on a date that was unsettling her.
“It’s just a drink,” she muttered to herself as she walked down the stairs. Then the doorbell rang, and she just about bolted straight back upstairs to dive into bed and hide.
“Don’t wait up,” she called out to Noah, thinking he was still watching TV. Instead, he appeared in the doorway, folding his arms as he leaned against the jamb.
“I won’t.” He glanced at the door. “You going to get that, or do you want me to?”
She shook her head. “Definitely not. See you later.”
Bella paused before opening it, took a deep breath, and glanced back at Noah. He was still watching, unnerving her. She quickly opened it, relaxing a little when she saw her date standing there. It was stupid to be nervous; they’d flirted for months since she’d started getting coffee there, and the only difference about tonight was the fact that he wasn’t working.
“Wow, you look beautiful.”
Bella smiled as he stepped closer and kissed her cheek.
“And you smell incredible.”
“Thanks. Shall we go?” Bella groaned as a noise behind her alerted her to the fact that Noah had come closer. Her own personal guard dog. He was
almost as bad as her dad had been when she’d first started dating.
“Where are you heading? Just in case the kids need you, sweetheart.”
Bella could have killed him, wished the ground would just open up and swallow her.
“You have kids?” Her date looked visibly shocked.
“No,” she muttered. “I mean kind of—it’s a long story.”
“Noah,” he said, moving past her and holding his hand out. “I’m Bella’s—”
“Housemate,” she quickly interjected before he could say anything else.
“Corey. Nice to meet you.”
“See you later, Noah,” she said, pushing past him without making eye contact. She straightened her shoulders and hoped that her butt looked good in her jeans as she walked off. She could kill Noah later.
“You’ve never mentioned your children,” Corey said as he walked around to his side of the vehicle.
Bella sighed, wondering why she even expected a guy to open her car door for her these days. Just because her dad still did it for her mom didn’t mean modern guys would for her. She wondered if Noah would have opened her door and then wished her brain would just shut the hell up and stop thinking about him.
She got in and smiled at Cute Barista Guy. She needed to stop calling him that, but it was hard when she’d called him that for the better part of the last six months.
“It’s a long story. My sister passed away, and they are her children.”
He nodded and started the car. “Ah, I get it. So you live there and help out their dad?”
Bella wasn’t sure what to say. She really needed to figure out an easy, straight-to-the-point way of telling this story that didn’t involve her getting emotional or making it sound all weird—preferably that avoided both.
“He’s the other guardian. Not their dad. Their father, my brother-in-law—he died in the accident, too.”
Corey took a moment before answering, like he was trying to process the whole situation. “That’s intense. I’m sorry. But you guys live together?”