After that, she’d called a taxi to take her back to her friend’s house.
She hadn’t heard from Jake again that night, although she’d realised later that he must have been at the hospital. His father had suffered a heart attack and it was headline news the next morning.
Now, a self-deprecating laugh escaped from her throat. ‘Your father needn’t have bothered trying to convince you to end our relationship. He was preaching to the converted. I realised your only interest in me was in slaking your physical needs while Sophie was out of the picture.’
She couldn’t bear looking at him. Her words revealed too much of her bitterness and hurt. He didn’t need to see it in her eyes as well.
Jake’s hands on her shoulders turned her away from the crypt and around to face him. ‘I was angry with my father that night for his hostility toward you,’ he told her. ‘But it turned out he was right about you. Your marriage to Bennett proved you were a gold-digger, out to better your social position.’
She pulled out of his hold. ‘Believe what you like. The truth is you wanted a holiday fling, I wanted —’ Her voice broke from the depth of her memories.
‘What did you want?’ he probed, softly.
There was no way Amanda would ever confess she’d been stupid enough to want a happy-ever-after ending with Jake.
‘I was inexperienced.’ She aimed for a less bitter approach. ‘I wanted to have some fun. You were…’ She hesitated. ‘You were there.’
Jake flinched as though she’d slapped him. ‘So you set out to sleep with the first guy who came along and I just happened to be him?’
Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded.
‘I don’t buy it,’ he dismissed.
‘Your ego won’t let you!’ she cried. ‘You like doing the using. You’re not accustomed to being used.’
She watched a muscle work in his cheek.
‘You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,’ he ground out.
‘You had Sophie to get back to,’ she said through a throat that was tight with emotion. ‘And I had to get back to…’
Her words trailed off as she thought of her aunt. She’d returned from Whale Beach to find Irene had become ill, but she didn’t want to remember all of those difficulties she’d faced.
She held her breath as she faced Jake. His features looked like they were carved out of granite, his jawline set firm. Gold flecks glowed fiendishly from his obsidian eyes.
‘Bennett?’ he finally supplied. The name echoed into the eerie silence of the cemetery with deadly menace. ‘Bennett was your boss. He was a wealthy lawyer. Did you already have him in your sights?’
It wasn’t true, but it was a salve for her pride to let Jake think she was involved with Lloyd. If Jake knew her heart had always belonged to him it would be the ultimate humiliation.
‘What makes you think I wasn’t involved with Lloyd when I met you?’ she flung at him.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘If you were involved with Bennett,’ he said slowly, ‘why hadn’t you slept with him?’
Caught neatly in the lies she’d invented for her own self-protection, she tried not to squirm.
She returned his cold smile as she answered him truthfully. ‘The thought of sleeping with a virgin held no appeal to Lloyd.’
Jake’s head jerked backwards. His eyes narrowed then he shook his head. ‘No!’
She stood her ground. ‘It’s the truth.’
Jake’s knuckles showed white as his fists clenched. ‘Are you telling me Bennett would only bed you if you weren’t a virgin?’
‘I don’t owe you any explanations. I don’t have to justify myself to you.’
A tide of red swept up his cheekbones and she wilted under the blast of contempt from his eyes. His fists unclenched. He extended his fingers slowly then clenched them again. Nerves caused her legs to tremble as she sensed the supreme struggle within him to control his temper.
She turned to walk away from him, but his fingers bit into the flesh of her upper arm, swinging her back to face him.
‘You owe me a hell of a lot more than explanations. Bennett was old enough to be your father. It sickens me to think you sold your body to him for a place in society. Nobody even liked or respected him.’
Jake watched Amanda flinch as the whip of his words delivered their sting. He tried to release the clenched muscles in his hands and let go of her arm, but each tendon held tight. He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t forget what she’d meant to him and the dreams he’d woven around her, couldn’t stop his body aching for hers.
Her words cut deep. How could she have used him like that?
His poor judgement of her character not only hurt—it made him furious. He’d thought she was so pure, so refreshingly uncomplicated. How could he have been so wrong?
When she’d told him he would be her first lover, he thought she was handing him a precious gift. Now he knew she hadn’t valued her virginity. Their lovemaking wasn’t special to her. She would’ve slept with anyone because she wanted to marry Bennett, and Bennett didn’t want a virgin bride.
Jake felt sick—as though he’d received a forceful blow to the abdomen. Several deep breaths later, battling to control his rage, he managed to drop his hands away from her arms. It was probably the most difficult thing he’d ever do, but he had to let her go. Closure was needed. It was the reason he’d attended the funeral.
He marshalled his thoughts. Maybe he was the first convenient man to claim her virginity, but she couldn’t have bargained for, or forgotten, the powerful attraction between them. She couldn’t lie to him about her physical responses. He wouldn’t let her.
‘I’ve never forgotten your passion, Amanda. If you possess any honesty, you’ll admit the chemistry we had far surpasses anything you’ve experienced with your other lovers.’
He heard her sharp intake of breath and watched her shake her head in rapid, agitated denial.
‘No!’ There was a shrill note of panic in her voice.
Although she tried to back away from him, the marble stone of a crypt prevented her escape. The almost desperate light in her eyes suggested she was trying and failing to wipe the vivid, compelling memories of their shared passion from her mind.
Good. Let her remember how it had been between them.
‘Perhaps you need reminding,’ he suggested silkily.
‘Don’t even think about it.’
His lips moved in a travesty of a smile. ‘I’ve never backed away from a challenge.’
Chapter 3
With the deftness of a panther, Jake closed the gap between them.
Amanda glanced around and knew she was trapped in this small space between the crypts—but she was also trapped by her need to feel his touch. Mesmerised by the predatory gleam in his eyes, she stood motionless, unable to resist him when he wrapped one hand around her wrist and placed it on his chest. His lips curled in primitive satisfaction and she knew he felt her blood pulsing at a frenetic pace through her veins.
‘As much as you deny it, you still want me,’ he said with confidence.
‘You’re delusional,’ she lied breathlessly.
‘I’m right.’ His voice slid over her like rich chocolate while his confident hands reached out and slid down her arm, evoking a shiver of pleasurable response. ‘You claim lust was what motivated you to share my bed. The attraction between us is still as strong as ever. Don’t bother denying it—I can feel you trembling.’
How could she still want him after the way he’d treated her? But her body’s response would not be quelled by rational thought.
‘That was two years ago.’ Her tone wasn’t convincing.
‘Our awareness of each other is still acute,’ he said.
‘No, it can’t be. I married Lloyd. You married Sophie.’
Her attention was diverted to his jawline, to the tightening of his facial muscles and the pulse that ticked in his cheek.
‘I’m not with Sophie now,’
he declared with steel in his voice. ‘And Bennett is dead.’
Trying to summon a look of disinterest, she shrugged her stiff shoulders. She knew his marriage to Sophie hadn’t lasted long and she empathised with his ex-wife. How many lovers had he taken during his brief marriage? How many women had he seen as suitable ‘mistress material’?
‘We’re both single, Amanda.’
‘That’s irrelevant,’ she replied, trying to sound bored. Instead, she sounded on the verge of panic.
His head tilted slightly in a mocking gesture. ‘On the contrary, it’s very relevant. It’s the very reason I’m here.’
Confusion addled her mind. ‘You said you were here because —’
‘Bennett had something that I want back.’
Her eyes widened as comprehension dawned. No! He couldn’t mean…
‘I’m here for you, Amanda.’ This had to be some sick joke.
‘Me?’
‘I’m here to claim what has always been mine.’
Fury replaced shock and stiffened her spine. Rage emanated from every pore. ‘I’m not yours. You have no claim on me.’
‘You were mine before you married Bennett.’
‘Yours! You arrogant…you think the fact that you…that I…’ She made a growl of pure frustration.
‘I was your first lover,’ he declared possessively.
Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away. ‘That was my mistake.’
His eyes held hers with searing intensity, the gold flecks dancing like flames. ‘I still want you.’ The words rumbled deep from his throat.
She struggled to fight against the effect he had on her, but she felt herself falling under the trance of his words. He still wanted her, but for how long? She couldn’t let herself weaken and succumb to him all over again. She wouldn’t be able to survive the heartache this time. The power zapping between them had to be disconnected before it electrocuted her.
Panic seized her when he lowered his head, his lips just a whisper away from hers.
‘You can’t!’ she protested.
‘You want me to kiss you.’
Even as she willed her body to pull away from him, she found herself being drawn closer by the sheer magnetic force he exuded.
‘I don’t,’ she lied. Then, clutching for a reason that would stall his advances, she warned, ‘Someone might see us.’
‘I don’t think so.’
Just to make certain, he moved her around to the back of the crypt until they were completely obstructed from any passers-by.
Each second seemed to stretch into an hour as she faced him, breathing hard. In the end, she couldn’t be sure whether it was Jake or her who closed the distance between them.
Closer. Closer.
They were so close now each fine hair on her skin stood erect.
Steady fingers caught her quivering chin. Just the light touch of his fingertips on her skin burned into her, branding her as his possession. His touch compelled her to meet his gaze—to acknowledge and yield to the sensations he evoked within her.
Every one of her breaths came in choppy little bursts. The years that had passed since they were lovers, fell away. Neither her circumstances nor her whereabouts registered as she yearned for the feel of his lips against hers and she pressed against him.
‘You want me, just as much as I want you,’ he said huskily into her ear.
He spoke the truth. She wanted him more than anything. A tiny part of her brain urged her to resist him, but her attraction to him was undeniable. Need pulsed through her.
‘It’s something neither of us can resist,’ he said.
Excitement bubbled up in her veins as she registered that his voice was thick with desire. His strong hands trembled slightly as he threaded his fingers through her hair. The memory of the feminine, sensual power she’d had over Jake was reawakened. It was a power she hadn’t exercised in just over two years. It was a heady sensation and one she wanted to relive.
Feeling his warm, shallow breath at the corner of her mouth, she turned her head slightly. Their breaths mingled. Sensual heat radiated between them obliterating the chill of the sea breeze. Their intimate proximity was irresistible, even in such an unlikely location.
Anticipation ate into her fraught nerves. His lips hovered over hers, and her breath caught in her throat. The tip of her tongue flicked over her trembling bottom lip in silent invitation and as she tasted the salt in the air, she watched his pupils dilate. She closed her eyes willing him to bridge the distance.
Now, please. Kiss me now, Jake.
‘Yes,’ he told her.
Had she spoken the words aloud?
Her body ached for him. Her breasts swelled and her nipples budded into tight peaks. All traces of sanity evaporated as she waited for his kiss. A kiss that had haunted her dreams for what seemed like eternity. The little voice niggled at her again, urging her to pull away from him, but she ignored it. Her need consumed her.
Let me lose myself in your kiss, just for this moment.
Take me to heaven one last time.
Pure joy burst from her heart at the contact of his lips against hers. His mouth claimed hers in a kiss filled with searing, electrifying hunger—a kiss that made a blazing statement of his possession.
He ravished her with his lips, his tongue and his hands. Her defences were annihilated by the white-hot need that fused them together, and she responded in turn. Lanced by a jolt of sharp sexual excitement, her stomach scrunched tight while she matched each of his kisses with devastating urgency and her mouth demanded more.
Oh, how she wanted him. How she yearned to erase the years of her marriage to Lloyd.
With each movement of Jake’s mouth against hers, all the beautiful memories of the lovemaking they’d shared years before spilled out of her mind in a raging torrent. Memories drowned her awareness of the present. She was besieged by an imperative hunger for greater intimacy with him and the physical fulfilment she knew he could deliver.
Time and time again during their lovemaking he’d taken her to paradise, riding on the back of shooting stars. He’d shown her the immeasurable pleasures her body could experience and taught her how to use her body to bring him the same satisfaction. He’d kissed her with a soul-searing passion—just as he was doing now.
An eager pupil, she’d derived incredible satisfaction from loving him. It was true she was thrilled to experience her own feminine power over him, but the greatest happiness had been gained from their mutual ecstasy and contentment. It had been about giving as well as receiving.
That gorgeous summer afternoon Jake entered her life and there seemed to be an instant connection between them. One glance and her skin had tingled, making her feel more alive, more aware than she’d ever been. He’d made a beeline for her, and when he stood at her table in the café and asked if he could join her, she’d known an overwhelming urge to be with him. To know him. Her eyes had strayed to his lips, and she’d blushed at the direction of her thoughts—wild kisses and dishevelled hair, his lips taking hers in a desperate kiss. She’d wanted to wrap herself in him and feel the strength his arms promised.
When her fantasy became a reality, it was the most mind-blowing experience of her life. Their initial lovemaking was a potent mixture of urgent passion, generous sensuality, and patient tenderness.
Knowing he was her first lover, he’d eased into her with exquisite gentleness as her body stretched to accommodate his. Her sense of completeness was unsurpassed when his flesh became one with hers. She was spellbound when he catapulted her over the edge of the universe as she knew it, and into a galaxy of pleasure she’d never dreamed existed. It had been so special to her.
Now, Jake moulded her body to his, hands scorching her as they ran over the soft swell of her breasts, down over her waist and hips, pulling her forward slightly and lingering on the curve of her bottom. His touch was as sensual as she remembered.
Way too much time had passed since she’d been in his arms and hadn
’t held back. Reaching her arms up, she re-familiarised herself with the strength of the muscles of his shoulders and neck. Her fingers weaved through the thickness of his dark hair and she moaned into his mouth as the tip of his tongue ran across her lips.
The sensation was divine.
She pressed her hips into firmer contact with his. The rock-hard jut of his arousal pushed against the soft flesh of her abdomen, promising both pleasure and release. It had been so long since she’d been sexually aroused. Jake had been the only one to reduce her to a seething mass of frustrated hormones.
Why hadn’t Jake been her husband?
She stiffened in his arms and her eyes flew open. With a mammoth effort, she wrenched her head back, breaking contact with his lips. This was no dream. She stood at Waverley Cemetery secreted between massive crypts, having just buried the man she’d been married to for two years, and she was in another man’s arms.
Jake’s arms.
What was she doing?
Overhead a seagull squawked as though it was castigating her for her weakness.
For a few seconds, she was paralysed with shame. She hadn’t loved her husband, it was true, but to react to Jake’s kisses and his touch in this setting…
Thank God the media helicopters weren’t around to film them.
‘Get away from me!’ she said, pushing on his solid chest.
He didn’t budge so she took a step sideways and he watched her with wary eyes. His breath was laboured, his eyes still heavy with passion.
‘You want to be in my arms, Amanda,’ he argued. His voice was a mix of aggression and frustration. ‘You want to be in my bed.’
‘No,’ she said, knowing it was a lie. ‘You’re wrong. This was just...’ She waved her hands around as she sought for an explanation. ‘This was just a need for comfort after all I’ve been through. I don’t want you.’
‘Your responses say differently, my sinful lover. I’ve never forgotten the feel of your body wrapped around mine.’
She told herself it wasn’t what she wanted. Not now. Not like this. What they shared had been based on a lie. What they could have had together was never attainable after everything that had happened. He was confusing her, toying with her. Hadn’t she just vowed she was in control of her own life now? Hadn’t she promised herself she wouldn’t be used again? ‘Please, Jake…’
Echoes of the Heart Page 4