‘I’ve got to go.’
‘I know,’ she said. ‘Go do what you have to do so you can move forward with your life. Just don’t lose your heart again in the process.’
With a purposeful stride, Jake left the conference room, made his way to the elevator and jabbed impatiently at a button. The doors parted immediately. As the lift moved upward his heart felt too big to be contained in his chest. It seemed to swell and hammer against his ribcage as he pictured Amanda in his mind—not as the widow he’d seen dressed in black, but as the young woman he’d fallen in love with.
Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to remember the first time he’d seen her. Her long blonde hair had been braided and his hands itched to release it. Her slender frame was sheer perfection, and he knew her shapely, tanned legs would look even better wrapped around his hips. She moved like a ballerina, and her smile filled the room like sunshine on a wintry morning.
Her vivid blue eyes had locked with his. Her full lips had parted slightly in disbelief and he knew the same bolt of lightning had hit her. The same immediate, mutual attraction.
There had been only one course of action for him from that point. He had been determined to make her his.
Now he cautioned himself. Keep your eyes wide open. Don’t let her make a fool of you again.
Like a knight donning a suit of armour, he summoned the hurt she’d inflicted after she turned her back on their relationship. He didn’t have to dig far to find it. The pain and anger still simmered just below the surface of the controlled façade he presented to the world.
He’d been planning to propose to Amanda.
He had thought he’d fallen in love with her but he’d merely loved the image she’d projected. All too late, he’d realised that the image was a role she played to hide the shallow vindictiveness of her nature.
Jake would’ve gone against his father’s advice and married her—given her the world. He could easily have been a willing slave for her desires and ended up the laughing stock of Sydney.
What a bloody idiot!
It was only his father’s sudden heart attack during their argument about Amanda that stopped Jake proposing to her. Gasping for each breath as the stretcher was lifted into the ambulance, his father choked out his words, making Jake promise to wait and think things through. Sick with fear for his father’s life, and riddled with guilt that their argument had triggered the cardiac arrest, Jake had agreed. He’d gone looking for Amanda to drive her home before he joined his mother at the hospital at his father’s bedside, but she’d already left.
The next forty-eight hours had been critical for his father’s life. Amanda had phoned him once and offered to be by his side, but Jake had declined, knowing it would upset his father more and that stress may well push him over the edge.
Although he’d intended to pursue Amanda once his father was out of intensive care, his father’s medical tests indicated immediate surgery was necessary. Medical complications followed. Then, knowing the chairman of Formosa Corporation was out of action, a rival company seized the opportunity to mount a takeover bid, forcing Jake to step in to ensure his father’s lifetime of work was safeguarded. He’d had to leave the country to shore up support in New Zealand and close off important negotiations in the United States.
It had been an exhausting time. His duties at work and the care he’d given his parents had consumed his every waking moment. He’d been angry with Amanda during that time, too. Angry and disappointed. After her initial supportive phone call, when she’d offered to be at his side at the hospital, she’d behaved childishly. She hadn’t taken his rejection of her offer well. Her response had been to disconnect her mobile phone. Then she’d refused the calls he’d made to her at work. And now she claimed she knew nothing about the calls.
In between meetings and trips to the hospital, he’d managed to squeeze in a quick visit to her legal firm. On that occasion he’d been told to leave the building or be escorted out by security.
So he’d decided to forget about her. But even when he’d buried himself in his work, she was ever-present in his mind. Sleep brought no reprieve either as she haunted every one of his dreams. He resolved to try one last time to see her when he returned to Australia.
God! When he’d left a message at the legal firm inviting her to dinner the night he returned, she’d had the hide to turn up at the restaurant with her obnoxious husband in tow—flaunting her marriage. Flaunting her pregnancy.
Jake’s heart had swelled when he’d seen her walk in. He’d only had eyes for her and hadn’t even noticed Bennett by her side. When Bennett announced their marriage, he may as well have taken a knife, cut open Jake’s chest and skewered his heart.
Jake wanted to punish Amanda.
The adamant denial she’d given him when he’d asked whether the child could be his, had been like a death knell. The pain he experienced once he knew Amanda was expecting another man’s child had been more than he could endure. His love for her had been killed. There was nothing he could do but try to bury that love alongside his ravaged heart.
Jake had heard speculation that Amanda had deliberately fallen pregnant to force Bennett into marriage. But no matter how hard Jake tried to convince himself he’d had a lucky escape, it didn’t ease his heartache. Thank God she hadn’t realised how deeply he’d loved her, and that he’d never proposed and been tied to her for life.
Perhaps the miscarriage of her child had been punishment enough.
Jake was shocked at that terrible, uncharacteristic thought. Despite the deep scars of her betrayal, he would not have wished that upon her. But part of him still wanted retribution.
His attempt at marriage to Sophie had been a dismal failure because of his experience with Amanda. Until he got over Amanda, he wouldn’t be able to commit to—or love—any other woman.
He would carry out his plan and remind himself Amanda had never been worthy of his love.
Lust?
That was an entirely different matter. He still wanted her and fantasised about her like some hormone-driven adolescent. Lust was something he could now deal with, something he would deal with. He was determined to slake his thirst for her, and then close the chapter of his life forever.
The elevator doors opened. The sight of her punched him in the gut and his harsh convictions shattered. Amanda was huddled in a chair, arms wrapped defensively around her midriff—she looked ill and completely broken.
He’d been shocked at her appearance at Bennett’s funeral—she’d appeared drawn and had lost a lot of weight—but the young woman who sat waiting for him was unnaturally pallid, almost ghost-like. There were smudged circles of bruised purple under her eyes, suggesting many nights without sleep. Her full lips were almost lost in the lines of strain around her mouth, and she’d lost even more weight, her fine bones pushing against the thin barrier of her skin.
Alerted to his presence, she jerked her head up and around to face him. The profound despair and vulnerability he saw in her eyes evoked every protective instinct he possessed.
Although she masked her expression quickly, what replaced the initial telling look was even more disturbing. Her beautiful eyes were blank, almost lifeless.
As his gut churned, he forgot his resolution to harden his heart against her. ‘Amanda, what’s happened? Are you sick?’
Shaking her head in denial, her shoulder-length hair covered her face like a curtain. Even her hair had lost its shine and had a dry, brittle appearance. It was no longer a golden halo around her head. Then again, he remembered, she was no angel.
‘Just a bit tired.’ She stood up and swayed.
His arms shot out to steady her and the familiar shock of awareness arced through him. Amanda trembled and he was sure she experienced it, too.
‘What the hell have you been doing to yourself?’ he ground out.
‘I’m okay.’
‘You’re not okay. You look bloody awful.’
‘Thanks for the compliment.’
‘Come into my office and sit down before you fall down.’ He opened the door and ushered her inside.
Her legs had always been slender, but now they barely had the strength to support her. She was breathless and wobbly, like a newborn foal, as she sank into the closest chair.
‘I know you’re busy. I’m sorry to arrive unannounced, and I won’t take up a lot of your time.’
The strain and exhaustion of her voice wrenched at his heart and made him want to pull her into his arms and hold her safe against the world. Fool, he berated himself. This is Bennett’s widow.
‘I need a job.’
What?
Caught completely off guard by Amanda’s statement, Jake leant back against his desk, crossed his arms over his chest, and gave her his most penetrating look. She shouldn’t need to work. Bennett would have left her a small fortune.
‘Something secretarial,’ she rushed on. ‘I’m a bit out of practice, but…’
‘You expect me to believe you need a job?’
‘I do need a job.’
‘Why?’
She broke eye contact with him and started wringing her hands in her lap. ‘The usual reason. I need money.’
Questions filled his brain as he absorbed that statement. ‘As Bennett’s widow, you must be very wealthy.’
‘Lloyd didn’t leave me anything.’
Shocked, he stared at her. Was she telling the truth? She needed money?
There was no resentment in her voice, just a simple statement of fact. That didn’t add up. She’d married Bennett for his money. Why wasn’t she outraged if she’d ended up with nothing?
Confused by her calm reaction, he considered it for a few moments before summing up, ‘You need money to contest the will.’
‘I’m not contesting the will.’
No way! She had to be after money. That was what her marriage had been all about.
‘Who did he leave the money to?’
‘His sister.’
‘You marry a man for his money, he leaves you nothing, and you’re not contesting the will?’
‘Jake —’
‘You’re content to let Fiona have Bennett’s fortune, even after the way she treated you at his funeral?’
Her sigh was impatient. ‘At the time of the funeral, the will hadn’t been read. Fiona didn’t know the money was hers. That’s why she was so angry with me.’
‘You think her anger was all about the money?’
‘Yes. Primarily.’ She wrung her hands. ‘She always resented me. Look —’
‘I find it hard to believe you’re prepared to give up on Bennett’s fortune without a fight.’
The smile she gave him was bitter. ‘Believe what you will, but that’s the truth.’
‘I guess this is Bennett’s way of punishing you for taking lovers during your marriage.’ He watched her grit her teeth, but she remained silent. ‘What about your home in Vaucluse?’
‘Lloyd’s cold mausoleum was never my home.’
‘You’ve moved out?’ he asked, astonished she should give up the luxury waterfront home.
‘Yes. It belongs to Fiona now.’
That explained the disconnection of the old phone number. ‘Where are you living?’
‘I’ve found a new place,’ she almost snapped at him. ‘Listen —’
‘Are you living with your lover?’ he demanded.
He watched colour creep from her chest to her neck and stain her face.
‘I don’t have a lover.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Couldn’t Middleton stand the heat?’
‘I’ve already told you, Hugh was never my lover!’
There was such outraged indignation in every syllable he almost believed her. Middleton had made the same heated denial to him after Bennett’s funeral.
Fire sparked to life in her eyes as she leant forward in her chair. ‘Lloyd’s suicide note was a lie your newspapers delighted in printing.’
‘Is that why you’re here? Are you planning to sue the newspaper group or to demand some compensation out of court?’
‘No. I would never operate that way.’
An acid taste filled his mouth. ‘You’re not above marrying and sleeping with the devil for money, but you won’t lower yourself to file a lawsuit? How noble of you, Amanda.’ Fury burned through his veins. ‘You’d be wasting your time, anyway. Every newspaper in the state picked up the story of Bennett’s suicide, and most printed a copy of his suicide note.’
‘Your papers were the first.’
He regarded her with scorn. ‘Bennett sent his note to my papers.’
Her shoulders jerked in a gesture of frustration. ‘I was not having an affair,’ she repeated through gritted teeth.
Disbelief caused his eyebrows to rise. ‘Well, something sure drove your husband to suicide. I don’t understand why he would implicate you and Middleton if there wasn’t at least some truth to that rumour.’
‘Lloyd was jealous of Hugh’s success. Hugh won the majority of his cases and it came easily to him. Lloyd had to fight dirty and even then, he often failed. I’d say that’s why he tried to taint Hugh’s name. Your newspapers printed lies defaming the reputation of a man who happens to be a very ethical lawyer. The articles have also torn my reputation to pieces and made it impossible for me to get a job.’
The darkness of jealousy replaced disbelief. His blood thickened and red tinted the edge of his vision as he heard her defence of Middleton. ‘Why would Bennett lie? His note claimed he committed suicide because he was so depressed about your faithlessness.’ She hung her head but offered no response. ‘As for your reputation—I think that was in tatters long before your husband’s suicide. The marriage of an impoverished woman to a wealthy man, twenty years her senior, is bound to shed a bad light on the woman’s morals.’
Her chest rose as she took a breath and she raised earnest eyes to his. The anxiety in her expression caused his anger to abate.
‘I’m not here to discuss my marriage. I’m here because I’m desperate, Jake.’ She paused, seeming to steel herself for what she had to say. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for an office job,’ she said at last. ‘People recognise me from all the publicity. They won’t hire me…’ she broke off as a sob caught in her throat but she squared her shoulders. ‘I’m waitressing every morning at a cafe. I’m washing cars in the afternoon and dishes at night, but the jobs aren’t permanent.’
He watched her nervous fingers fidget with the straps of her handbag and noticed her fingernails had been chewed mercilessly. The skin on her hands looked dry—as though they had soaked for too long in a bucket of bleach. The woman before him was vastly different from the beauty he remembered. It seemed she was telling the truth about her employment.
Why did the thought of her working so hard make his guts twist? When she was such a physical mess, he shouldn’t still feel this incredible, overwhelming pull of attraction to her. It was madness. He could have just about any beautiful woman he wanted. He shouldn’t want Amanda. He shouldn’t be concerning himself with easing her distress.
Clenching his jaw, he forced himself to remember that she didn’t deserve any consideration from him. He straightened from where he’d been leaning on his desk and turned away from her to gaze out at the ferry activity on Sydney Harbour. Normally, he loved the panoramic view and the white sails of the Opera House. Today, he was too wound up to absorb it.
The cool logic of his brain told him to think in business terms now. Renowned for finding ailing companies and turning them around, he was able to spot his opponent’s weaknesses and capitalise on them. Amanda was like a company he wanted to buy. She’d come to him with a weakness and he was prepared to exploit it ruthlessly to achieve his own goal.
He turned back to her. ‘Are you in debt?’
For a couple of moments she chewed on her lip as though she was wrestling with her words,
struggling with how much she should tell him. When her voice finally emerged, it sounded hollow. ‘I need money.’
‘How much money do you need?’
After she took another long breath, she named a sum that made his eyebrows rise. ‘You’ve certainly indulged in some retail therapy since Bennett’s death, yet your appearance in no way reflects it.’
‘Well, you might look handsome, but your utter lack of manners proves that you’re no Prince Charming,’ she said caustically as her hands clenched into fists.
He smothered a smile. ‘You have to admit it’s quite a spending spree,’ he continued. ‘You’ll have to learn to live within your means now Bennett’s money’s dried up.’
Even though she flinched, she didn’t try to justify her spending.
‘Will you give me a job?’ she pressed.
‘No.’ Why give her a job and let himself be weak and vulnerable to her again? For his own self-preservation, his own sanity, he’d capitalise on her need. He’d manoeuvre her like a pawn on a chessboard because her past betrayal had sent his emotions into exile, and he didn’t want to visit that dark place again. He had to keep the control here.
Her knuckles turned white as she gripped her handbag strap. ‘Would you lend me the money? I promise I’d pay it back with interest, but it could take several years.’
He regarded her with profound scepticism. The desperation in her eyes, the plea in her voice made him suspect there was more going on than she was telling him. The stakes seemed higher than Amanda’s need to acquire finances to live the high life. But what else could she need so much money for if not to fund the upmarket lifestyle she was used to? His lips tightened.
‘Please, Jake —’
‘No,’ he said emphatically.
Her face crumpled as though she was about to dissolve in tears. Despite his resolve, his gut clenched as he saw the vulnerability etched into her features and noted the slight tremble of her lips.
‘I’m sorry I wasted your time,’ she said hopelessly. There was an emotional waver in her voice and her legs wobbled as she stood up to leave. ‘Goodbye, Jake.’
No!
‘Goodbye’ was way too final at this stage. He wouldn’t let her walk out of his life until he was ready to let her go. This situation wasn’t what he’d expected. It didn’t fit the game plan he’d mapped out, but he still had the upper hand. Now was the time to move in and close this deal on his terms.
Echoes of the Heart Page 6